I Need You To Hate Me

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Serendipity ~ finding something good without looking for it.


The soft sun trickles in from the curtains, my eyes are still shut as I scoot my back closer to the warmness behind me. The unusual feeling of being energised overcomes me and I don’t remember the last time I felt like this when waking up. I don’t open my eyes, wanting to savour this moment, something about this feels... a little too perfect.

I hear someone clearing their throat, a familiar sound that I would recognise anywhere, “Calla, can you not rub your ass on me...” he sighs, placing his hand on my hip to stop my movements.

My eyes fly open and I meet Ace’s intense stare. His dark hair is messy, and I can’t help myself, my hand reaches for it and I run my fingers through it, tugging at the little curls gently. I have been sleeping in his room, in his bed, the last couple of nights, mostly because he insists. More like demands, in the true Ace style.

However, I don’t mind because I haven’t had any nightmares when I usually get them at least every second night. Something about being in his arms comforts me and I can tell it does the same thing to him. The dark circles that are usually under his vibrant eyes have faded and he looks even more handsome.

It takes me a while to understand what he said but once I do my hand travel down to his pants... shit. Talk about morning glory, he is rock solid. My mouth curves into a small smile and he groans.

“Fuck, Calla,” he warns, gritting his teeth and grabs my hand to stop me but I’m not having any of it.

“Ace, good morning,” I say his name in the most seductive way I can, hoping I don’t sound like a dying cat and flash him a smile. I keep my hand there and move it against his length. He closes his eyes and groans, sending shivers down every part of my body.

He grabs me and easily turns me so I’m on top of him. Our lips fit perfectly together as if they were meant for each other. I run my tongue over his lips, appreciating the fullness of them and his hands begin to travel up my shirt. I shake my head.

“Ah, no touching,” I whisper against his lips.

He narrows his eyes at me, “That’s not fair,” he mutters, pouting.

“Shh,” I bring my finger to his lips, ignoring his protests and his mouth opens, gripping it gently in between his teeth. I wrap my hand tighter around him and he instantly lets go of my finger, bringing his lips to mine in urgency.

“Calla,” he whispers, and I can feel the desperation in his voice to use his hands, to touch me everywhere and it’s taking him everything he has not to. However, I continue to run my hands over him, kissing his jaw, his neck. Driving him insane. His hands fly up to me and I quickly swat them away, “Fuck,” he swears, getting irritated.

I sit up, pulling him up with me and straddle him. I finally place his hands on my waist and his mouth twists into an evil grin.

In that small-time frame before his touch, every single nerve in my body is electrified. The anticipation of us being together in a way that is more than words, connecting on a different level, in a way that’s completely intimate is exhilarating.

His hand travels up my shirt, leaving my skin burning wherever he touches me. The way my body responds to him almost immediately, makes me believe he’s the only one who deserves it.

He takes my shirt off and pauses, his eyes raking over my body. Taking all of me in and I hold my breath, letting him. He runs his tongue over his lips and my heart pounds in my chest. My mind is in complete denial, however, it’s not difficult to tell that what I feel for Ace is more than I have ever planned to.

I tug at the waistband of his pants, letting him know that I want him, right now, “Off.”

He raises an eyebrow and chuckles, “Bossy, are we?”

“Learnt from the best,” I retort, and he laughs. I love the way he laughs; the sound is low and perfect. Everything about him is so damn perfect and I know I’m falling too deep. Or have I already fell? I can’t tell.

He ignores my demand and kisses my neck, gently sucking. It feels too good for me to even care that he might leave marks. And being marked by Ace wouldn’t be so bad, would it?

His hands caress my body and pull me closer towards him like he wants to eliminate anything and everything that stands between us, “Do you know what you do to me?” he takes my hand and places his lips against the inside of my palm before placing it around his neck.

I shake my head slowly, my arms are around his neck, my fingers in his soft hair.

“You drive me fucking insane,” he tells me, his eyes on mine. “I want you.” He grabs my hips and I can’t breathe. “Nothing else. Just you.”

“Mmm,” I moan and try to pull his mouth to mine but he doesn’t let me.

“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. I want you to know that. Do you understand?”

This makes me pause. He has a way with words, they pierce straight into my heart, but I don’t want to be let down. I don’t want to depend on anyone.

“Calla, answer me,” he says, his eyes not leaving mine. Ace hasn’t let me down, not even once and I trust him. With everything that I have.

“Yes,” I tell him.

I understand and I trust you. Please don’t make me regret it.

“Good,” he says, and then his mouth is back on mine, more demanding than ever before.

Somehow, in the midst of all the kissing, we manage to get each other’s clothes off. I run my hand down his bare chest and his body feels so familiar. Like it’s been mine all along. Ace gets a condom from his bedside table and rips the wrapper with his teeth.

I sense everything, this colossal magnetic field between us. Electricity. He’s the only one who ever made me feel like this, the only one who makes me feel like he’s breathing fire into me. Lighting me alive. I wonder if he can feel this too or is it one-sided?

“Fuck, you feel so good. So fucking good,” he tells me.

His arm wraps around my back and his hand is in my hair. His other hand moves down my cheekbone down to my lips and that’s when the kissing begins again. Our bodies fit together like we were made for this, to feel this natural rhythm. Falling into one another like two stars colliding. But there are two things that can happen when two stars collide. They either form as one or they collapse into a black hole.

We lock eyes together and I feel safe. He makes me feel calm – high on endorphins. And that’s when I realise, we’re collapsing into a black hole. Because nothing that feels this good can last. And nothing can escape a black hole, not even us.


“My mom is going to be home,” Ace tells me nonchalantly when we’re almost at his house.

“Your mom? I’m going to meet your mom? And you couldn’t tell me this earlier?”

He shrugs as if it’s no big deal but I’m suddenly extremely nervous to meet his mom for the first time. I quickly look down at my outfit, fixing my sweater and tugging on the ends of my hair.

“Hey,” Ace says placing his hand on my thigh and rubbing it gently, sending a calming sensation all throughout my body, “it’ll be fine,” he tells me.

“Callaaaa,” the front door swings open and Ellie’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts. She’s wearing a light peach coloured dress with feathers at the front. Small wings are protruding from her back and she twirls around before wrapping her small arms around my legs.

“Hi, Ellie,” I say, bending down to hug her, careful not to bend her wings.

“Hey! What about me?” Ace pouts and crosses his arms, pretending to be upset.

“Acey!” she laughs and instantly jumps on him, he catches her, picking her up in his arms.

A woman, which I recognise as Ace’s mom, comes to the doorway. Her dark hair pulled back, her eyes vibrant like the clouds on a summer day. She’s wearing a dark blue uniform and I’m assuming she’s about to go to work.

“Hey mom,” Ace says, giving her a hug with one arm and balancing Ellie on his other arm.

“Ace,” she greets him, giving him a light squeeze.

“You must be Calla,” she says, turning and giving me a wholehearted smile. “Ace hasn’t stopped talking about you.”

I breathe out a sigh of relief and small butterflies fill my stomach. It surprises me that Ace has been talking about me and I wonder what he was saying to his own mom about me.

“Mom! What the fuck?” Ace glares at her but she just waves him off with one hand.

“Language darling,” she gives him a disapproving look before looking back at me, “Come in, I have to head to work now but Ellie is so excited for this party,” she says, leading us inside.

The house is filled with a sweet scent and I inhale deeper. I notice the cupcakes on the counter, some of them having pink icing and some purple. However, all of them have white wings on top of them, sprinkled with gold dusting.

“Come on, we have to go! We can’t be late,” Ellie says, excitement present in her voice. She grabs the purple wrapped box off the counter and tells Ace to grab the cupcakes. He shakes his head at her bossiness but does what he’s told. At least someone is able to tame him and it’s ridiculous that it’s a five-year-old girl.

Bella’s party is every girl’s dream. Children run through the house almost knocking us over as bubbles float in the air and balloons drift around everywhere. A stack of unopened presents stand in the corner of the living room and a huge cake covered with pink and white icing sits in the middle of the kitchen.

We follow Ellie as she eagerly runs outside to meet with her friends, forgetting all about us. Outside is even more extravagant than inside, for starters there is a massive unicorn jumping castle and a coat of pink glitter covering what used to be the lush green lawn.

Ace greets a few people but since most of the adults here are middle-aged women, we spend most of the time in our own little bubble watching Ellie play with her friends.

When the time comes to sing happy birthday, all the children eagerly pile inside, around the cake.

“Come with me,” Ace says, taking my hand and leading me outside without anyone noticing.

“What are you doing?” I ask raising my eyebrows.

“You’ll see.”

He leads me to the jumping castle and my eyes widen, “Ace!”

“Shhh,” he places his finger to his lips and tugs me with him, inside the enormous jumping castle.

He begins to jump and I laugh at him, he looks so out of place but he grabs my hand again, forcing me to jump with him. I can’t stop laughing because this is the most ridiculous thing I have ever done but also the most fun I’ve had.

After a few more minutes of jumping, I’m struggling to breathe. I really need to do more exercise. I lay on my back, not wanting to get up and Ace lays down next to me, leaning over me.

He takes my face in both of my hands and leans down, placing his lips to mine. He pulls away slightly and looks straight into my eyes and brushes a loose strand of hair behind my ear. My heart is plummeting in my chest and I’m trying to catch my breath from all the jumping and laughing.

I’m staring into his eyes, unable to get enough of them, enough of him. He’s different, he’s the only person that makes my heart happy. And he’s the reason why I’m smiling again.

He brushes his thumb against my lips, “Calla, I lov—” but we are suddenly interrupted by the shouting and giggling of small children around us.

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