I stood on the pavement with my eyes fixed on the road waiting for Lisa to show up. With all my courage I had made up my mind to talk to her. When she finally showed up I felt my heart beating up loud and I was feeling nervous. Step by step she was approaching me but I began to tremble.
At first I thought it was because of nervousness but gradually shaking increased. I was having chills and my heartbeat pounded loud. I felt sweat on my body including on my forehead.
“No, no, no… not now please not now” I was getting the anxiety attack for a drug which was impossible to control.
I found it was not the good time so I turned to leave but all of a sudden I felt a hand on my shoulder. I bent my head down not willing to turn back but I had no other choice because I wanted to know whether it was her or not. I slowly turned my head back and saw it was really her.
She had a smile on her face but I was no longer able to control my anxiety. So, without giving any response I ran away from her. I ran and ran not turning back. For the first time I hated myself for taking drugs. I had thought to quit it completely but it was not possible at all. I was in the point where willingness no longer worked.
As I reached my home and closed the door leaning my back on the door I called out loud “MOM DAD.”
Both of them came running towards me and before they asked for anything I said helplessly “please help me I want to quit drugs, please.” I collapsed on the floor.
The flashback ended and I was drop down back to the place where I was standing with Lisa’s notebook on my hand. With shaking hand I flipped another page and when my eyes fall on the sketch on it notebook dropped on the ground. The sketch of boy holding flower in his hand totally made me realize that it was totally me. She had made the sketch of me which means she remembered me.
Somehow I tried to handle myself and bent to pick up the notebook. The notebook was now flipped on the page where there was sketch of me. I picked it up and walked outside.
As I was near the receptionist desk Jessica lifted her head and with shock she asked “What… what are you doing with that notebook? Where did you get it?”
“Do you know about this?” I asked in astonishment.
“Of course I do. Lisa had picture of the boy who she loved in that notebook but she never showed it to me.”
“I need your help” I said taking deep breath.
She stared at me in confusion. I placed the notebook in front of here. She slowly picked it up in astonishment and began to flip through it. When she saw my sketch she glanced at me with her wide eyes.
“It was you. It was really you. How could I not understand this? Lisa who never got close to any boy was so close to you. She even gave me the clue saying that being with you she feels like she was with him. She gave me the clue to understand but how fool I was. Shit.”
She plonked hard on her chair. She seem to be lost in thought so I called her out “Jessica… will you help me out?”
She just nodded her head absently. Maybe she was not able to come out of the shock like me.
“Please give me her address” I asked.
“I don’t know” she replied.
She interrupted me “I never asked for it. I have no idea where she is married.”
“Damn how am I supposed to find her now?” I pinched my nosed bridge in irritation and suddenly I remembered.
“Check the patient’s details it will defiantly be there” I said to Jessica and she hurriedly started to check it.
Late in the evening I pressed the doorbell desperately for the fifth time and heard someone opening the door “I said I am coming stop ringing the bell… again… Sir” Rose stood still staring at me with her wide eyes in shock.
“Rose what is the password?” I asked trying hard to suppress my anger.
Rose gave a big smile and leaning on the door said “Oh! I was thinking you came to see me to provide back my post.”
“Rose don’t fool around please tell me the password” I requested politely.
“I am not the one who is fooling. It’s probably you fooling around standing in front of my door late in the evening” she chuckled.
I signed and said “for god sake please tell me the password. I really don’t get this why the hell do you need to passport protect the patients details.”
“As you can see it’s definitely for this reason” she folded her arms.
“What do you mean?” I asked in astonishment.
“One day when you kick me out of your job without thinking twice you would come back to me, stand on my door and beg like you are doing right now.”
“Stop being unreasonable I didn’t kick you out. It was you who quit the job now stop wasting my time and tell me the password.”
“I won’t do whatever you want I am not giving it to you. My one month salary you gave as a welcome gift to that new staff right? Now go to her and tell her to crack that password.”
She slammed the door on my face. I knocked the door hard but she didn’t open. I took my cell phone out and dialed Arvin’s number.
“Any progress?” I asked immediately when he answered the call.
“No, sir he is still trying to crack the password but he says it seems impossible to do that” Arvin’s reply made me more upset.
“What about Jessica?” I asked with little hope on my heart.
“She is still here trying out…” ‘Jessica’ he called out and I heard him saying ’tell your progress to sir.”
“Hello…” As soon as I heard her voice I asked “what is the update?”
“I called out my brother and asked him to visit Lisa’s parent’s home but he said they are out of town since last week.”
“Shit…” I kicked the wall hard and asked again “Any idea where might they be gone?”
“No, they didn’t said anything to any one. They just left” replied Jessica.
I disconnected the call and took deep breath. Rose was only my hope now. I stared at the closed door for a while and walked to the lawn.
Looking at the house I yelled “Rose, please I am begging you. Please…”
“Go away I am not telling you” she yelled looking out of the window.
“I will not go anywhere until and unless I get my answer” I yelled back.
“Then stand there for forever” she replied back loud.
“Rose come on don’t be that rude come on tell him yes. I have not seen anyone begging you like him…” a voice came from neighboring house.
“Shut up mind your own business” yelled Rose looking at the house and glancing back at me she shouted “go away and let me sleep peacefully.”
She then slammed the window as well and drew the curtains. I watched the window and kept on standing still. Told you it was way hard to persuade Rose. I really wonder if I ever would convince my wife like Rose.
Time passed the light went off in her room. I was all alone on the lawn absently staring at the window with just the light of lamp lit up on the either side of the gate. I had no idea what time it was or for how long I was watching that window. I just had one sentence repeated on my head “I need to do this for Lisa, I need to do this for Lisa.”
I rubbed my arms to keep myself warm but it was not helping out. The chill air was passing through my clothes making my body to tremble. But I had made up my mind I wouldn’t make single move from there.
Finally after so long the light in her room lit up and I heard her “What the hell?” Rose opened the curtains and opened the window wide. She glanced at me for a while trying to say something but she turned back.
In a while the door opened and she said in angry tone “You are still here its already late night. What are you trying to prove?”
“I am not trying to prove anything Rose. Just please give the password that is all I want. I will do anything you say.”
“Anything?” she smirked.
“Yeah…” I replied.
“Will you give back my job?” she asked.
I thought for a while and nodded “yes, I will.”
“Come on in…” she invited me inside.
I walked in following her.
“Take a seat I will prepare coffee for you” she said and walked to the kitchen.
Looking around I sat on the couch. It seem like she lived alone. In a while she came back with two cup in her hand. She handed me one and sat beside me.
Smelling the coffee she asked “so tell me is it about a girl?”
I glanced at her in confusion she rolled her eyes and said “come on I have seen in movies man standing in front of her house whole night asking for the answer.”
“Um… I…” I stammered.
“Relax… I know you definitely not stood out with such intention. I am just asking you does this have any relation with any girl” she said and sipped the coffee.
“Yeah….” I took deep breath.
She widened her eyes and said “it’s someone who got admitted at the centre is it?”
I nodded my head.
“Who is it?” she asked.
“Lisa…” I replied but she stared at me in disgust for a while “it’s the same girl because of whom I was kicked out…” she said sipping the coffee.
“I am sorry I yelled at you that night. I shouldn’t have done that” I apologized.
She just nodded her head and drank her coffee.
After drinking the coffee I got up “I will be leaving then.”
“I will see you in the morning at the center but make sure you give back my job” she said standing on her feet.
I glanced at her and nodded my head. I walked out of her house and got on the car feeling little bit of ease on my heart.