I look at Bryson who has a smirk on his face and move his hand from my exposed thigh.
"What are you doing?"
"You can't do that!"
"You know why," I say. "I'm tired. Take me home."
"Sure, let's go."
Bryson doesn't touch me like that. It felt kinda weird. Why haven't I seen Leo yet? Didn't he come to this party? His future girlfriend threw it.
Bryson and I get into the car and drive off. We're both quiet and it's really strange. It's almost like there's so much tension between us.
"Why are you suddenly so silent around me?" I ask.
"I don't have much to say."
"Are you serious?!"
"Yeah. Should I play some music?"
"No. I'd prefer to look out the window."
Cool? Knowing Bryson, he would've made a joke out of this. What's up with him? Is he drunk? It can't be. He's driving.
Bryson parks the car outside the house and turns to stare at me. His eyes don't leave my legs and for the first time ever, I feel so exposed to him.
"Are you coming in?"
"Nah. I'm gonna head home."
"You're gonna fuck a girl and then go home," I remind him.
"How I want the girl to be you," he leans in, "I wanna fuck you and that dress is only making me want you more."
"Stop fucking with me..... Goodnight Bryson." I chuckle and get out of the car.
Once I'm in my bedroom, I take off my heels and the dress and get into the bathroom to take a quick shower.
When I'm done, I wear a hoodie and shorts and sit on my bed waiting for someone to call me.
The party was really great but I didn't like how weird Bryson acted around me. Did he really mean what he said in the car? I'm seriously doubting. It's Bryson. He was just joking. He'd never want to sleep with me.
I'm not even desirable. Why would Bryson want me in his bed? I'm totally out his league. I lack experience and he loves to go hard on girls. I can't even handle half his dick.
I turn on my phone and call Leo. He picks up after a few rings.
"Hey Ari,'' he says.
"Hi. Are you busy?"
"I didn't see you at that party."
"I didn't go and never expect you to go either."
"Bryson took me with him."
"Okay. Are you still mad at me?"
"No. We're good. Kate talked to me and I thought I'd give you a call to let you know that we're fine. I'm not mad."
"I'm sorry," he says.
"It's okay Leo. No need to apologize.''
"I'll see you around."
"Okay," I say and he hangs up.
Why didn't he go to Kate's party? He likes her. Leo doesn't like parties but I thought he'd go to this one 'cause of the girl he likes.
Maybe he's busy. He mentioned something about a song earlier. He might be working on it.
I'm seated in the kitchen with Amanda and Tina. They came over when I was still sleeping. I was kinda pissed but when I saw the food they brought me, I cheered up.
They're so thoughtful. Mom is out with her friends for breakfast and Cole must've eaten and apple and gone out of the house.
"Have you talked to Leo?" Tina asks.
"Yeah. We're cool now."
"You looked really hot last night. Guys were staring at you but they didn't want to be kicked in the balls like that dude." Amanda says.
"Aren't you exaggerating?" I question.
"No. Ari, you think you're not desirable but many guys would like to go out with you. You just push 'em away."
I don't push anyone away. I just avoid shit. I was obsessed with Leon that I didn't see any other guy but him.
"She's right. You're really beautiful and desirable. You just don't let guys show you that. I kinda realized that Bryson is into you." Tina says.
"Fuck off Tina. Bryce is my bro bro. He can't be into me! You guys are so ridiculous." I laugh.
"Come on Tina. Bryson can't be into Aria. That's impossible!" Amanda exclaims.
"You're both fucking blind!" Tina shakes her head.
"I'm not." I say quietly.
"Check your message requests on Instagram and you'll know who the liar is." Tina says and I immediately checked my message requests.
Whoa! There's a lot of guys from school. Darren, Michael, Travis and others that I've been seeing around. Most of them are asking me out. How is that even possible?
Was I really pushing these people away? I can't believe all these gorgeous boys are wasting their time on me. I don't even deserve this.
"I'm gonna reply later." I say.
"You won't." They say.
"You're going to avoid them just like you always do." Tina says.
"I don't deserve this." I say quietly.
"Why do you think that?" Tina asks.
"I'm so obsessed with my best friend and if I get a boyfriend, he'll probably get sick of me."
"If he truly likes you, he won't get sick of you." Tina says.
These girls do nothing but give a person so much shit to think about. It kind of makes me crazy sometimes. How could those guys actually like me? Am I actually desirable?
Do I really have a future in love? I can't wait to find my guy. I need to know what it feels like to be loved a guy. I need to know what it feels like when he tells me that I'm his whole world. I need to know what it feels like to be kissed with so much love and passion and not just lust.
I'm so tired of treating myself like shit. I want to find someone and I will. Just... who?
The girls leave and I make my way back to my bedroom. I need to clean up before my mom starts scolding me. She's not gonna leave me alone if I don't clean up.
I change the sheets and place my dirty clothes in the laundry basket.
When I'm halfway through organizing my closet, someone comes into my bedroom.
"Hey kid." It's Bryson.
"What's up Bryce?" I ask without even turning to look at him.
"I was bored out of my mind so I thought I'd come by."
"Don't you wanna look at me?"
"I'm busy as you can see."
"Cleaning up so we could have sex? How sweet!"
"Shut up! I'm cleaning up because this is my bedroom and it needs my attention."
"I need your attention too."
"Go hang with Leo. You're talking too much."
"You like it when I talk too much."
"Not when I'm busy!"
"Leo's working on something. That's why I came to you. Can't you just take a break for me babe?"
He doesn't say anything and the next second, I feel his arms wrap around me. I can feel his warm breath on my neck.
What's he trying to do? Why am I nervous?
He lifts me off the ground and starts to laugh. Why was I so nervous? It's just Bryson.
''Come on Ari, let's do something fun. I'm bored as fuck!"
He lets go of me and sits on my bed. I stand there looking at me and he stares at my boobs. Haha... I'm wearing a tank top and sweatpants.
I sit next to him.
"I like your boobs," he says.
"I like your abs."
"I like your ass."
"I like your arms."
"I like your hair."
"Stop," I laugh," this is stupid."
"Let's go on and touch," he winks.
"Ari," he whines.
"Fine." He takes off his shirt and lays on my bed.
I finally have some silence in here. Bryson talks a lot. He never runs out of words. Even when he doesn't know what to say, he'd just talk. I like that about him but sometimes I feel like punching him so he could shut up.
I have to hurry. My mom will be here any moment. I don't want her scolding me. I need to fucking sleep. There's school tomorrow. How I wanna skip!
I turn to look at Bryson who is actually sleeping right now. He looks adorable. His blonde hair is messy and his lips slightly parted. My eyes move down his body and stop at his well definitely abs.
Bryson is really attractive. This is the first time I'm staring at him like this. I can't stop looking and now I have the urge to touch him. This is weird.
"Are you done staring?" He says with his eyes still closed.
"I thought you were sleeping you dickhead." I sit next to him and mess up his hair.
"I don't sleep like a dead body. You do that." He sits up.
"It's called relaxing."
''Did you talked to Leo?"
"Yeah. I called him last night."
"Are you guys cool now?"
"Leo's boring! If I was the one you had a crush on, I'd fuck you every chance I got."
"He's not boring, He's a gentleman."
"Sure," he scoffs, "do you still like him?"
I've been in a really bad mood for the past few days. I don't have time to sleep! Why the fuck do we need to start classes in the morning?! I wish I'd just go to school at night. I'm not a morning person. My mom poured cold water on me when I was younger just so I could get up. If Cole didn't scream this morning, I wouldn't wake up. Sometimes that stupid alarm can't even be heard. It's not my fault!
Right now I'm just looking at the clock. When are we getting out of here?! I'm so tired and Bryson isn't here. He didn't come to school for the past two days. I've been bored out of my mind. I sat with Karen yesterday and heck she made me sick. She kept asking about Leo and I wanted to punch her so she could fucking shut up. She still likes Leo after everything that happened between them. Their friendship got ruined in freshman year but they still talk. It's awkward though.
I'm seated next to Darren today. He's the one who joined me. I thought Bryson was coming to school today. He hasn't been answering any of my calls so I decided to go see him after school. It's so unlike him to get lost like this. Something must be going on with him.
Darren is staring at me like I'm some piece of meat. As much as I'd like to believe I'm attractive, I just can't. I lack self confidence and I find it hard to trust boys. Sometimes I feel like they just pity me. I have trust issues and I'm so scared to let some guy in. I'm afraid that I won't be enough later.
"What are you thinking about?" Darren asks.
"Nothing." I say.
"Wanna hang out later?"
"I have stuff to do." I need to study. We're gonna start having tests very soon and my mom will get really pissed if I don't do well. She hates it when my grades drop.
"I'm having a party at my place on Friday and I really want you to come."
"I'll see if I can.''
"Cool." He smiles at me and I look at the clock again.
I'm so hungry! Lunch is after this class and I can't wait to eat. Time has been moving slowly and I've been freaking out. I also need to talk to Tina. She kept texting me last night. She wanted to talk about something and it was urgent. I saw those texts this morning but didn't see her around when I got to school this morning. The first thing I need to do is talk to Tina then eat lunch.
The bell rings and I pick up my books hurriedly and rush out of the class. Tina is leaving English when I get to the hallway. I approach her and she gives me a small smile.
"Hey Tina. How're you? I'm sorry I didn't reply your texts last night. I was asleep."
"It's okay. I'm fine. I just need to tell you something."
"Sure. Go ahead."
"Not here though." She holds my hand and we make our way to the library. There's no one in there at lunch.
Once we're in, she takes in a deep breath and looks at me.
"Tina, you're starting to worry me. Are you okay?"
I'm so shocked right now! Tina is gay?! I didn't expect this. She dated a few boys and I thought it was serious. I'm glad she was able to discover this early enough.
"I don't know what to say," I chuckle.
"I can't believe this." She says.
"What's the matter?"
"The hardest part is coming out. How am I gonna tell my parents? They keep setting me up on dates and if I tell them this, they'll freak out."
"Don't worry. You don't have to tell them yet. Tell them when you're ready."
"You're right. Thanks Aria. I'm really glad I could tell you. If I didn't say this to someone, I'd be freaking out by now."
"I'm always here for you," I smile, "you can always tell me things. Have you met someone?"
"There's this girl I always see at the diner. I think she works there. I might be into her."
"That's really cute. Did you speak to her?"
"No. I was confused."
I give her a hug, "is that the reason you were so down on the first day?"
"Yeah. I feel better now."
We pull away, "does Amy know this?"
"I don't trust Amanda. She doesn't know how to keep a secret and she talks bad about you. She says she doesn't like you and likes comparing herself to you. She envies you Aria."
"I'm serious. I don't tell her shit anymore. She tells her friends in dance club everything and she keeps asking them who the hotter one is. She takes you as competition and not a friend. Do you think everyone just noticed you had a crush on Leo?"
"What do you mean?"
"Amanda just assumed it and she's the one who told everyone. Leo found out from her. She wasn't even sure of it."
"Are you serious? What kind of person just assumes shit and spreads it around? It was true but she could've confronted me before telling everyone!"
"Calm down Ari. You don't have to get pissed."
"I can't believe she's that stupid! Isn't lying bad enough?!"
"Please don't do anything crazy."
"I won't do anything."
"Let's go have lunch."
We make our way out of the library and get to the cafeteria. I get myself fries and a slice of pizza. Finally! Time to eat.
We join Calvin and he starts talking to Tina. I'm not paying attention. I'm only focusing on my food.
I wish Bryson was here. I miss him so much. It feels like forever since I last saw him. I really hope he's okay.
I'm standing at Bryson's doorstep right now. I just rang the bell a minute ago. I went home before coming here. I took a shower and dressed up in shorts and a T-shirt.
Bryson opens the door for me. He's only wearing shorts and his hair is damp. He probably just got out of the shower. I look at him without saying anything. He doesn't look okay.
"Hey Ari." He lets me in and we go to his bedroom. He puts on a shirt and sits next to me on his bed.
"How're you?" I ask.
"Fine, I guess." He says quietly.
"Bryce I'm worried about you. You haven't been to school in two days and you don't look fine right now. What's going on?"
"Nothing. I'm okay Aria. I wasn't feeling fine so I stayed home. It's nothing big." Why is he lying to me?!
"You're lying to me! You have a problem. You just don't wanna tell me!"
"I don't wanna talk about it Aria. Don't push it."
"Are you okay now?"
"Is your mom around?"
"No. I'm glad she isn't."
Does he have a problem with his mother? Why? I met her a few times but we didn't say much to each other.
"I was just about to leave."
"Therapy." He heads out and leaves me completely confused.
Bryson goes to therapy?! That's impossible. He's the happy guy who loves to stare at girls' bodies. He's my asshole friend who doesn't have any problem with anyone.
I've known him for a year and didn't even realize he was seeing a therapist?! Why didn't he tell me this? I'm so confused. There is something that puts him down. He just can't tell me.
I hope he talks to me soon.