She's dead.
And it's all my fault
••••••
Ava
It's September 1st's Eve
And no, it's not a special day celebrated around the world like New Years. It's a special day for me, though I won't really call it special, because 'special' usually refers to good happy things. It's the day before the start it a really horrible memory.
'The feud of a season and half' as I call it, or if you may, 'The time Ava Mathews becomes an even more annoying pain in the ass' according to my cocky twin; Austin. This year I'm trying not to be a 'pain in the ass' just like I promised myself last year, and the year before that, and also, the year before that year and a few years before that but let's not dwell on my failure to keep the promises.
Anyway, though I'm not able to keep my promise, the point is I don't want to be like those heroines in some sappy novels or movies, who think that everything is their fault, and then some prince in shinning armor would come over, sweep her off her feet, help her face her fears and they fall in love.
Some people would say that it's not a big deal, but it is a big deal, I don't want to fall in love, and have the person I'm in love with also deal with my baggage, in 34 letters; I don't want to be that heroine in distress.
Stepping out of the bathroom, I dried myself down, then slipped into my panties and sport bra then into dad's shirt, which I had stolen earlier today, the hem of the shirt reaching me mid-thigh.
I put off my room light then put on my bedside lamp, lowering the intensity of the light, to give my room a soft glow. Just so you know, I'm not using my lamp as a night light.
I grabbed my headphones from my work desk and walked up to the window to pull down the curtains, Jaiden is back from his summer holiday in New York and I have no doubt that he would bring one of his bitches over and I wouldn't want to see them doing 'stuff' if I wake up sometime in the night.
Jaiden Prescott, Highschool heartthrob, perfect face, perfect bod, great soccer player, an even more greater player in the sex department, Austin's archenemy (call me sadist, but I love the way they hate each other, at least I won't be seeing Jaiden coming over to house) and then, the human being that I hate more than anything in the world (and I'm not confusing passion with hatred, this is pure hatred), the universe seems to love seeing me annoyed, last year (I mean school semester) we were in almost the same classes.
Jaiden's room is opposite mine and so is his window, and when I say opposite I mean directly opposite, so I have to deal with his loud music and sex noises.
Austin hates Jaiden so much, they even got nicknames for themselves. At first I thought Austin hated Jaiden because he was a 'great football player' but Austin plays in basketball team, so I asked Austin why they hated each other, when I got the answer it was the most baseless hatred I've ever heard (he hates him because Jaiden beat him at a contest), and I was pretty sure that he wasn't telling me the truth.
I on the other hand have a good reason for hating him; He uses girls and dumps them, at first I didn't care, until he broke my best friend Stephanie's heart.
Someone barged into my room, breathing heavily, without looking back from the window I knew it was Austin.
"You!"he said in a betrayed voice.
"Me?" I asked innocently, still not turning to face him.
"Don't you 'me?' me" Austin said furiously "Dad took my headphones because you took another of his shirt, I'm starting regret telling Dad I'll take your punishment, why can't you wear your own stuff?"
I turned around and smiled sweetly at Austin.
"I just love dad's shirt, their cozy" I said dreamily, mocking him discreetly. But really my dad's shirt are cozy. "Speaking of Dad, is he back, it's already midnight"
"Of course he's back, how else will he take my headphones" Austin said, still infuriated.
Dad seems to be working a lot more than usual. Yeah, he comes home late all the time, but not this late. Probably because of mom. A wave of guilt hit me.
Right then light came in from Jaiden's room, keep me from dwelling on my thoughts, and seeped into my room, bringing in a little light in my room.
I haven't pulled the curtains closed yet.
Austin eyes flicked to my window then back to me, big-twin-protective-brother-mode on.
I mentally face palmed myself, I should have closed my curtain before Austin came, so I would stop another window fight, but it doesn't matter anyway, Austin would have opened the curtain when he sees the light coming through, and then no sooner than later Austin would start spiting on my window and Jaiden on his, just because they're insulting each other.
"Hey Dick face, I see you couldn't wait to see me, so you had to steal your sister's room." an all too familiar cocky voice said.
Austin was bristling with anger beside me, for some reason I don't think I t was because of the words Jaiden said.
I turned around to face the window and saw what annoyed Austin.
Jaiden wasn't alone in his room, beside him with a hand wrapped around her waist stood Lilah, Austin's girlfriend. She looked shocked to see Austin. Jaiden on the other hand was grinning slyly.
What the what?
Lilah pushed Jaiden's hand from her waist looking pleadingly at Austin,who just gritted his teeth then left my room slamming my door behind.
Those slimy pieces of trash.
"You fucking son of a bitch!" I glowered at both Lilah and Jaiden.
Sometimes, I just wonder how Aust picks his girlfriends they always end up being bitches or continue being bitches like they were from the beginning, only being nice to me cause I'm his sister and he'll do anything for me, he maybe annoying but he's still sweet and he deserves more than those girls
Lilah looked pleadingly and helplessly at me."Ava, it's not what it seems."
"Ohh, sure you were just going to have a conversation that's consists of moans and groans done on the bed." I said, sarcasm dripping from my voice.
"I-I...I" Lilah stuttered then looked down at the floor then. She looked at me again, this time her face in a sneer.
I raised a brow tauntily at her.
"What do you care? it's not even your relationship." She said.
Suuuree, go into bitchy mode, we all knew that was coming.
Jaiden looked at her, slightly surprised.
I laughed a humorless laugh.
"To think I used to think you're smart. Anything, concerning my brother concerns me. Hurt him, I hurt you. Hurt me, he hurts you"
I might not look like it, but I got some tricks up my sleeves. Lilah stared at me like I'd grown another head.
I stared her down, having a some what intimidating glare, Lilah slightly flinch under my gaze.
"I don't need this" she said breaking eye contact and left the room.
My gaze shifted from Jaiden's door to him, who was smirking, amused.
I gave him a disgusted look.
"You don't really care who you hurt do you?"
I closed my curtain before he could say anything and put my headphone on.
Just the best way to start the season.
Eva, my fluffy Japanese Spitz puppy, pushed opened my door then jumped into my bed, nuzzling my palm.
I let myself a small smile.
One of the puppies, from Rear mom's dog, who's now dead along with her.
Mom...
My smile turned down. Mom's dead, Austin doesn't have great girlfriends, Dad seems to be working a lot more than usual, And Everything is all my fault.
I sighed.
I drew Eva closer to me, removing my headphones.
She's dead and it's all my fault