Chapter 31 - My name is Becks [Republished]
Smokey eyes, pinkish cheeks, sheer pink gloss and hair in loose curls falling on my shoulders, my reflection in the mirror makes me try to remember when it has been the last time I’ve felt shivering with anxiety, much like I feel now.
And of course, it has been with Lucas.
The only difference is that tonight I feel like being another woman and right here and now I decide that starting tonight my name is Becks.
Becca is no more. She remained in the places I left behind, together with the memories of my previous life.
It felt like ages ago and at the same time it felt like being the only reality for me.
I keep staring at myself in the tall mirror which is reigning my room.
My black dress covers tightly my hips, bracing my generous curves in all the right places and I smoothly slide my palms over the velvet of the fabric as if I have forgotten whose body this is, and I need to remember.
Turning sideway and checking myself once more I decided that my naked back would be more emphasized with my curls gathered up in a loose bun.
So, I lifted my hair up, fixing it with a few hair pins and I smiled, satisfied with the result.
I am having a date tonight, a date with Enzo.
I wanted to look the best I ever did. For Enzo.
I felt I owed him at least that, for everything he did for me.
I know it’s very possible he will never have a place in my heart like Lucas does, but he grows nicely in there, and once leaving everything back home, my old life, my love and hopes, I know I can be a new woman and I want this new woman to belong to Enzo.
But even with all these grandiose plans I have, I still see my reflection in the mirror wearing a shy tone of sadness on my face, and I realize that, as grandiose as my plans are, they are also scaring me.
It is scaring me because I don’t have Lucas close. In his twisted way he has always made me feel safe, maybe not safe from himself, but definitely safe from any harm that might reach me.
He was my safe house. He was my shelter and now I was supposed to learn living without him.
I take a deep breath, manning up and shaking away all the fears in my heart. This is the beginning of my new life and I must embrace it with courage.
Enzo said I should be ready by 6pm and it was time now.
I slide my feet in the silver heels and grab my purse when I hear someone knocking at my door.
It’s 6pm. Sharp.
I add one last puff of perfume on my wrist and walk towards the door.
Opening it with a shy smile I see a handsome Enzo standing in front of my eyes, looking gorgeous in a black Armani suit and a black bow tie on the collar of a crisp white shirt, holding a red beautiful rose in his hand and a ravishing smile on his lips.
“Hey,” he says, and my eyes fall on his sensual smile that I decide to taste with a peck of my lips.
He hands me the red rose and I dip my nose in its heavenly perfume.
“Hey,” I answer him back and I lean further against his chest, locking my eyes with his while my head bends back, pinning my chin on his chest.
Enzo leans down his head, holding high my glare and placing his hot palm on my bare back. He is so attractive. We kiss, a long, passionate kiss that finds its echoes in the pit of my cores.
“You look beautiful,” he says while his sensual lips are all I can see once our kiss is consumed.
“Thank you. You look handsome as well,” I manage to reply him back.
He smiles even more handsomely and places a kiss on my forehead.
“Let’s go,” he breaks the magic and I feel his warm palm still on the bare skin of my back while I walk before him.
“Where are you taking me tonight?”
“Somewhere special. Somewhere that I hope will match your beauty.”
I feel a knot of emotions building up in my stomach and my palms are sweaty and I just can’t stop my mind flying back to Lucas.
I guess I will never be able to take him out of my heart completely, but for now I decide to shake these thoughts off and enjoy my night out.
This evening will be only me and Enzo. This evening will be for Becks and Enzo.
A limousine is waiting for us at the front door and seems my night will start quite luxurious.
“Are you trying to knock me off with your richness, Mr. Benito?” I chuckle.
“Nothing that you don’t deserve, Becks,” he whispers in my ear in such a deep voice that strikes electric shivers through my body. I slide inside the limousine after he gallantly opens the door for me.
He follows suit, sitting next to me, his hip touching my curvy one, making me feel all turned on and I could swear I was dripping.
“Oh,” is all I say, rounding my lips in a perfect shape and throwing a sensual glare between my eyelashes to a cocky, smilingly Enzo. “You do know how to make a girl feel special.”
“You didn’t even see the best of it yet,” he says and curls an arm around my back, pulling me closer as I lean with my head against his shoulder.
We drive in a complete silence and with a heated tension growing up between us, a tension that spoke to us volumes when our hands touched, and he buried mine in his large one.
From the moment I opened the door of my room until now that satisfied, cocky smile on his lips didn’t fade.
The way he was glaring at me was knocking down all the walls I’d built around me, hoping they would save me from harm and pain, and I wondered which harm and pain? Enzo was a man that any woman would die for. He was sweet and gentle. He was completely surrendered to any of my moods, adjusting his mind and heart to any of them. And still, I couldn’t embrace his love with a full heart, even though right now those walls I kept building up were useless because what Enzo was giving me was only care and love.
Yes, I knew he loved me.
He gave up his freedom from his family to keep his promise he made to me.
He gave up the only thing he kept for himself for years now, and the only thing he had important in his life, independency from his mob family and now it was my turn to show him he didn’t give up on it for nothing.
I only hope I will learn to love him back.
The car stopped in front of a tall building, the evening setting sun flushing in its glass walls in an orange fiery shade.
“Come, we’re here,” Enzo said and getting down the car he reached his hand to help me.
“Impressive,” I say running my eyes on the height of the building.
“Good. That means my magic is working,” he chuckled and grabbed my hand, leading me inside through some huge sliding doors and towards the elevator.
Once in front of it, he pressed the upper last button, and I knew we would end up on the roof of the building.
His arm was curled around my waist all along and as we reached the roof and the elevator’s door opened, we exited into a large room of a restaurant where I could see the patio through some glass doors, the space being loaded with green plants and dim light.
A waiter, the only person inside besides us, wearing an elegant black suit, walked to us with a small, professional smile.
"Benvenuto, Don Benito. Benvenuta, Seniora,” he bowed and showed us to the patio where there was a table with two chairs in the middle and a beautiful arrangement waiting for us. (Welcome, Don Benito. Welcome, ma’am).
I gasped at the view, showing us the city stretching below, having behind the vast sea in a dark blue shade.
“It’s beautiful,” I said mesmerized by the view.
“I knew you would like it,” he said, wrapping his arms around me, pressing his chest on my back.
I raised my nose a little and closed my eyes, enjoying the warm breeze on my face.
“You know how to make a girl happy,” I whispered.
“All I want is to know how to make this girl happy,” he said and pressed a kiss on my shoulder.
It felt good, all of the sudden I felt relaxed and a good vibe about tonight was nesting in my heart.
The waiter cleared his throat and we turned around towards him, pulled out of our moment.
He was holding a bottle of wine and Enzo walked us to the table where he held the chair and adjusted it for me as soon as I sat down.
He took the other chair in front of me and the waiter poured a sip of wine in my glass, waiting me to try and approve it.
I tasted it and its perfume invaded my senses and it felt so good against my tongue.
I nodded in approval and he filled firstly my glass, then Enzo’s glass.
He raised the glass looking happy and content, smiling so sensual that it tickled my cores and it made me heat up. Damn the power he has over me!
“For you, Becks. For a woman that is yet to discover herself,” he said and we both sipped from our glasses.
A soft music filled the atmosphere with a romantic vibe, as the sun was setting, and the night came to shelter our little escapade.
The first course was served, and we didn’t speak much.
Although we knew each other, this evening was only the beginning of learning about us even more, so I started a small talk.
“So, how long have you been living here?” I asked Enzo.
“Since my birth till I was 24 years old. I moved to the States after that and started a new,” he replied in a fast pace, looking eager to close the subject but I was not having it.
There was something in the back of my mind that Feli stirred and I had to find out more.
“Why? What happened?” I pushed for details, but he didn’t reply, continuing his meal. “Was it because of her?”
I knew I was walking on thin ice speaking about her, whoever she was, but I had to, and what better time to ask would be than this moment, in this place, when we were wrapped in this peaceful bliss.
Enzo stopped moving his hand, frozen with the fork clenched tight, without lifting his eyes from the plate.
He just kept silent, swallowing his food like it was filled with needles.
Seems we are two with a painful past.
I gave up my curiosity seeing how affected Enzo was by my question and I gently wrapped my fingers around his hand, squeezing lightly and with affection. At my touch, his eyes locked with mine, his black irises pooling in sadness.
“It’s okay, Enzo, I am really sorry. You don’t have to tell me,” I tried to comfort him, but we had been both startled by the waiter bringing us the second dish and picking up the rest of the plates.
While the waiter busied himself with our food, Enzo stood up, still holding my hand with his and I had to follow him, walking slowly into his arms as he was pulling me closer.
“Dance with me, Becks,” he said looking down at me and placing feathered kisses on the knuckles of my hand.
Although smiling and fully aware of me standing in front of him, the sadness was still floating in his eyes.
I placed my hand on his cheek and smiled back at him, brushing my thumb below his eye.
“I would love to,” I whispered and let myself taken to the dance floor where Enzo curled his arms around me and I laid my head on his shoulder, with my palms flat on his chest.
I closed my eyes and let myself sway on the sound of the music and the weaving of Enzo’s hips.
We danced like this for some good minutes before Enzo took one of my hands and pushed me a bit further, throwing me in a spin on my heels, sending me far and then pulling me back to his chest, with with the tips of the noses inches apart. And I giggled.
I giggled like a small kid being given a candy and oh, how much I liked that.
Enzo’s smile was now shinning and growing, and I felt good about it.
He seemed happy and I was satisfied with this effect I had on him.
No, I had never been a possessive woman, nor I was wishing for dominance, but I was happy that Enzo found his joy with me tonight.
With one last pull of his arm, he slammed me on his chest once more and his eyes and beaming smile suddenly became lustful and tense.
He kept me captive into that arousing tension and I was already feeling stirred and tingling between my thighs. He lowered his head to my face and his lips grabbed mine in a rush and needy kiss and I felt my legs weaken under the weight of his seduction.
“Let me have you tonight, Becks,” he whispered in my mouth with a deep voice that literally ravished my cores. And overwhelmed by his burning eyes like the night stormy sky, I only nodded and gave in to that sweet painful kiss.
The night was our partner in crime, the crime of devouring each other.
"Inspired by the fear of being average."