Chapter 36 - The need to feel alive [Republished]
"Physically and clinically you are alright, Becks. Everything seems to be okay except for some bruises. I also think that you should take these pills for tonight. You need a good sleep. It has been a trauma, after all,” Giovanna said being done examining me.
“Nothing I didn’t see before, Giovanna. Do you think I can take the pills after Enzo comes home? I want to be awake when he arrives,” I ask Giovanna putting on my clothes.
I see the confused look on her face at my words before, probably baffled by the calmness in my voice.
“Have you been kidnapped before, Becks?” she asks ignoring my last request.
“Kidnapped, shoot at, beaten... let’s see, what have I missed?”
I see Giovanna widening her eyes like huge orbits, staring at me.
“Come on, Giovanna, I am exaggerating,” I try to calm her, and she nods not being quite sure if I am serious or not.
“Well, I thought only here things like this happen. I will take my leave now. I’ll call you tomorrow to check on you, Becks. Please do take the pills tonight. Have a good sleep and you will be like new tomorrow,” she says and waving me a flying kiss she leaves the room.
I whisper her back ′bye′ and lay on my back.
I would faint even without her pills, but I need to keep my eyes opened.
I need to see Enzo before I sleep, to make sure he comes home in one piece but my eyes close involuntarily, so I walk to the bathroom and splash some chilly water on my face, to wake up.
Why is Enzo taking so long? The waiting became suffocating and each minute seemed endless.
Walking downstairs to find something to bust myself with, I enter the living where I find Alex on the sofa, sitting with his legs spread in front in their full length, head leaned against the backrest of the sofa, typing something on his phone.
“Becks, hi. Umm... how do you feel?” he says straightening himself up when seeing me.
“Why is Enzo taking so long to be back?” I ask ignoring his question. In truth, I would be doing so much fucking better right now, sleeping and forgetting these last awful days if Enzo was home.
“He is at the warehouse. He will be done soon,” Alex replies and just as soon as his words end, I hear the entrance door open and I snap my eyes towards it, landing my glare on Enzo coming in.
“Enzo...” I whisper, seeing him all covered in blood, eyes enraged, lips pressed in a thin line and eyebrows frowned.
I ran to him and curled my arms around his neck forcing him into a hug which he welcomed.
I didn’t care he was all covered in blood, I didn’t care if it was his blood or someone else’s. I was relieved to see him walking in on his own feet and I was grateful.
His arms wrap my waist. I feel his palms laying flat on my back and his nose dipping in the crock of my neck, sniffing my scent.
“What took you so long, Enzo?” I ask him when he pulls me a bit further from him, just enough to look into my eyes and ensure himself I am not hurt.
“Let me get rid of these clothes. I will come to your room as soon as I have a shower,” he says in a husky voice and I untangle my arms, allowing him to walk past me and reach Alex.
“Thanks, man,” he says to his friend and they shake strongly their hands.
“Anytime, brother,” Alex replies and nods his head to me taking his leave, walking towards the entrance door.
Without sparing me a glance, Enzo climbs the stairs to his room, and I follow him, decided to wait for him in my room.
But then again, a feeling of happiness and gratitude to see him home in one piece was nesting in my heart and I couldn’t stay away.
I walk by the door of my room and try the door of Enzo’s.
It opens and peeking my head inside I see it empty, but I can hear the sound of the shower through the opened door of the bathroom.
I cross the room and walk inside the bathroom, slowly pushing the door opened just to see Enzo through the glass door of the shower with his arms pinned on the shower wall and his head hanging low in front, as if the water running on this body has paralyzed him.
I felt a strange need of being with him and show him how grateful I was for saving me when I thought nothing, and nobody would.
I needed the warmth of his skin stuck to mine, I needed to feel ravished and torn apart painfully in search for the prove that I was alive. I needed to feel Enzo inside of me, invading me, trashing me.
I removed my clothes, tossing them on the bathroom floor and I opened slowly the glass doors, facing Enzo’s tensed back, showing off his rock-hard muscles move under the stretched, tanned skin while he turned his head back, looking at me.
I step in, walking around his tall figure, slightly bending my knees to pass under his left arms and placing myself below his lowered head, my back almost touching the shower wall.
His arms are still supporting the weight of his body on the right and left side of my head, while our eyes lock with each other and they fill with lust and need.
“Vivi is... was the woman I loved... the woman I still... I thought that killing that bastard today with my own hands will bring me some sort of closure. Him and her father had Vivi killed in this house, in the apartment from the second floor because she chose to run away with me. We had a daughter, an angel, Samantha, and she was killed in the same day with Vivianna, my Vivi,” Enzo starts his confession and my breath hitches hearing this awful story.
Enzo’s eyes glisten with tears while talking but he never breaks eye contact.
I lifted my arms and cupped his cheeks with my palms, brushing my thumb under his eyes, like I always like to do, catching any tear that would fall. My chest shrinks in pain for my Enzo, at the suffering he must feel.
He still loved her. I know so well what it means to still love someone that you can’t have, and I completely understand Enzo.
He bends his head and reaches for my lips where he pecks and kisses, soft and questionable and encountering no barrier he crashes his mouth on mine, forcing my lips apart and dancing his tongue inside, in search for mine.
“I didn’t realize it was you I was revenging when I was hitting the motherfucker, with you in my mind until they told me he was dead already and I was happy. Nobody touches you and gets to live another breath,” he whispered in my mouth once our kiss extinguished only to restart even hotter.
I hang my arms around his neck and pull him lower into my mouth and I feel his strong hands grabbing the back of my thighs, lifting me up, pressing my back on the wall and forcing my legs around his waist.
Our kiss becomes painful, strong and urgent, our tongues clash with each other and lips are sucked and bitten as if hunger was suddenly the only feeling we had.
I feel his fingers brushing against my throbbing crevice and a whimper escapes my lips, followed by deep, carnal moans.
I push my butt behind against the wall giving Enzo enough space to work me out, his fingers caressing my folds and rounding burning circles on my bud, slashing heated blades through my body, making me jerk and twist in pleasure while my lips are always in search for Enzo’s sweet kisses.
“Fuck, Becks! I know you don’t love me, but you sure turn me on good,” he whispers in my ear and two of his fingers slide deep inside of me, making me moan and panting for breath.
While his fingers move in and out his thumb keeps circling around my bud building nots of nerves inside my navel making me dizzy and I’m burning in fire while my climax builds up and explodes with his last thrusts deep and curling inside.
My whimpers and moans come to a stop with his mouth swallowing them in deep kisses.
While my feet touch the floor and my right leg is placed on his left shoulder, placing himself crouched in front of me, his fingers on my folds are being replaced with his lips, oh, such skilled lips around my bundle of sensations, teasing, sucking, nibbling me as if his entire world was buried between my thighs, deep in my clenched cores and with two more times of sucking, my body shivers and shakes on the heights of another climax.
“OH, fuck!” I shout throwing my head on the back and arching my body, pressing my cores deeper onto Enzo’s mouth, grabbing full hands of his hair while the flesh on my thighs trembles.
While coming down from my climax Enzo’s lips leave my thighs raising up and fanning hot breaths along my navel, around my belly button and then pecking feather kisses on the skin between my breasts, grabbing both of them in his palms and molding them passionately.
His kisses come closer to the base of my neck and along my jaws and before I blink twice my lips are ravished in a strong, hungry kiss.
“Let me have you, Becks...” Enzo says between my parted lips, breathing heavily and loudly.
“I want you. I want to fuck you like there is no tomorrow...” he keeps saying although no rejection raised from my side.
“Please Enzo...” I reply and in one swift move Enzo raised my left leg placing himself at my cores and pushed his shaft roughly and deeply inside of me, grabbing the other leg up and forcing me circle his waist and I take him deeper in my cores.
Every thrust he makes his body shivers.
His lips suck the skin on my neck in an attempt to accede the pressure between my thighs, but I feel his thick length so deep and stretching my muscles like a storm of excitements sending sweet painful shocks through all my body.
My muscles stiffen, my nails dig in the flesh of his back when I feel my release building again.
“God, Enzo...,” I warn him of my coming climax.
“Becks, come with me, tesoro...” and I’m climbing my heights of pleasure while feeling Enzo swarming inside of me and his seeds filling me up.
He groans deep from the pit of his throat, riding his own release and tightening the grip of his fingers on my neck just enough to show me the intensity of his own pleasure.
We stand still while waiting to recover our racing breaths, none of us willing to unglue our sweated skin. Enzo, still buried deep into my cores, peppers kisses on my face and neck, caressing my hair and removing the rebel strands of hair, revealing my face.
“Becks, don’t reply, don’t answer me back, but... I love you. I really do.”
I didn’t reply and didn’t break our intense stare either. I only smiled him back and tighten the grip of my arms circled around his neck till his head is close enough for me to pepper his lips with soft kisses.
He doesn’t leave my cores and I keep myself clenched on him, feeling less lonely having him inside of me as none of us has the will to leave the other. I love his shaft twitching inside of me from time to time and I lean my head against his shoulder, holding him caged with my legs and arms and dive into the bliss of being in his arms.
He reaches his hand for the bottle of shampoo, letting my frame slide along his body and forcing me to pin my feet on the shower tiles, leaving my cores with a pop. He squeezes a drop of shampoo in his palm and one more in my palm and we rub it on each other’s hair, staring and smiling, taking in with joy that pure moment of finding each other. At least that’s what I felt. Nothing could have made me happier right now but having Enzo back, alive.
We continue washing each other, Enzo washing me first and then I finish him. He seems to be quite involved in it while I playfully keep searching for his eyes. He glares at me a few times trying to understand why am I staring so much.
“What...?” he asks with a shy smile in the corner of his lips and a look that fuck... stirred million of sensations in the pit of my cores.
He damn knows the effect he has on me, or any sane woman for that matter. He knew I wanted him again. And again. And again. And still, he had the audacity of pretending oblivious to it.
Well, I was turned on beyond any power of control. One that knew Enzo could never blame me. He was a mountain of sensuality and could stir me up any moment of the day. Or night.
I didn’t reply, just stared, smiling and taking in that moment when we dried each other skin with towels until our touches transform in passion and lust again.
In a swift move Enzo throws the towel on the floor and lifts me up in his arms, walking with me out in the bedroom, kissing me and battling for dominance over my own lusty arousal.
He places me gently on his bed and without any warning I feel him hugely pushing himself in my cores while I yelp and tighten my cores around him.
“Becks, you feel so damn tight, so good, fuck...” he whispers while trusting me in a slow pace at first, making sure I feel every inch of his thick length and every back and forth he does gets greeted with a moan rolled on my lips.
I love the way he fills me up, I love the way he makes my body shiver and feel the excitement, and this is what I need to feel that I am still breathing, I am still alive.
It is lust and need more than passion, but it is exactly what I need and what I can give back.
Spent and breathing heavy, Enzo collapses next to me pulling me on his chest and peppering kisses on my temple and neck.
“There is something I need to talk to you, Becks. But first let’s clean up and I will meet you down at the pool. I will wait for you with fresh lemonade,” he says and rolls out of bed going to the bathroom for yet another shower.
I ignore the seriousness of his tone and follow him to the shower. I need more.
"Find your fire."