Chapter 37 - Return of my previous life [Republished]
I was laying on one of the sunbeds next to the pool waiting for Becks, having some lemonade ready.
It was such a warm, salty breeze outside, and I knew for sure she would love it.
I am feeling the breeze myself, with my eyes closed and I am smiling at the memories of Becks’ face while being plunging deeply into her cores.
Damn, she will be the end of me!
I smile wider when I feel her arms curling around my neck, coming from my back and a kiss lands on my neck.
“What are you smiling about?” she is asking.
“I am wondering why on earth I’m such an idiot and why I don’t let you rest just as Giovanna said,” I answer, pulling her from behind me and placing her on my lap.
“And how do you know what Giovanna said?” rhetorically she asks although she knows the answer very well.
“Well, maybe because Giovanna has been almost like a sister to me, for years now. And maybe because I want to know anything is happening with you... or to you...”
“Possessive much?” she has fun of me.
“Do you like me rather dominant?” I said and immediately I realized it was a bad move. The smile froze on her lips and I knew I touched a rather sensitive subject there. Only Lucas could be that way with her.
“What did you want to tell me?” she asks, becoming cold and distant and standing up she lays on the sunbed next to mine.
I knew I should have never mention that but hell, I loved her, and I needed to check her feelings towards Lucas. So far nothing has changed, and I don’t know if it is ever going to change.
“I have decided for a reception here, at the mansion. I am going to make official my coming back and becoming the Don. Or else none of us is safe and things like those of yesterday will keep coming,” I say in a neutral voice.
“Oh,” was her reply and she kept quiet for long minutes before we went back to the same subject that I hated.
“Have my divorce papers arrived yet? Did you speak with the lawyers?” she asks.
I feel like a claw is being curled around my neck tightening with every second that I delay the reply.
“No, no answer yet,” I say frowning and making it short.
Becks nods a few times and plays with her hands without saying anything.
No return of signed divorce papers means Lucas is dead, that’s simply perfect for me.
“Good night,“Becks says and stands up going inside the mansion and most probably in her room.
I knew he was never comfortable with me asking about the divorce papers but fuck it, I had to know, it was my right.
What the hell was so hard for some shitty lawyers to have the papers done?
I mean there are shit loads of money paid, why wouldn’t they just finish them?
Less to say that those papers will be my answer to Lucas being alive or not.
And before I know it, my mind going back to Lucas makes my heart hurt of missing him, my body shrinking in a ball as my skin’s memory flushes his touches and kisses all over my body and his strong arms holding me whenever his dominance was taking over and I, like a non-official submissive but an exceptionally good one, would give in and let him do whatever he wanted with me, with my body, with my feelings.
He always knew how to do it, he always knew what I liked and when I liked, he had always been the loving dominant, a beautiful mix between controlling and loving me.
I don’t know when tears start falling down my cheeks, but I know they kept coming until I fell asleep with my mind to Lucas, my heart traveling back to him and my senses stirring, missing him.
I woke up late next day and nobody bothered me, not even Enzo.
Opening my lazy eyes, I check my phone and I see it’s almost noon, I must get ready for lunch.
But there is another thing I have noticed on my phone.
It’s a missed call from an unknown number from the States.
I wonder who could have been, nobody knew my number, Enzo promised me that nobody would have it and I wouldn’t be bothered.
I scroll for Enzo number and I dialed it.
“Yes, tesoro. What’s wrong?” he answers after one ring.
“Nothing just wanted to know how you are. Anything new with you today?” I ask pretending casual but in reality trying to see if he knows anything about the call I have got.
“All same, tesoro, nothing new. Hey, I will try to get home earlier today for dinner. Do you want to go out somewhere?”
“No, I prefer dinner in. See you tonight, then. I’ll wait for you.” I say shortly, decided to call back the unknown number.
“Yes,” I replied quickly in expectation. I could sense the tension in his voice and I knew that the night before was not one of our goods ones.
We didn’t speak another word after I left him on the patio last night. And I wasn’t even upset with Enzo. I was furious for not knowing anything about Lucas. I was furious for not receiving the papers back. I felt stuck, not knowing what my future would be.
I was furious on Lucas for not knowing if he gave up on me or not. The waiting was excruciating.
“I’m not...” Enzo tries to say.
“I’m sorry, Enzo. I’m sorry for last night. I wasn’t angry with you,” I say before he has a chance to finish his words.
I know he wants to apologize. He has been walking on eggshells with me lately and I am not comfortable with it.
I want him to be bold. I want him to grab and take what he wants, I want him to say he doesn’t give a fuck if Lucas is still alive or not, I want him to take me, fight with me, fight for me instead of always stepping back whenever Lucas comes in the picture.
Well, maybe I am a little furious with him. But he doesn’t deserve it.
“I promise to give you soon the answer you are expecting, Becks.”
“I know, Enzo. Thank you. I’m... I’m grateful for it. I really am,” I tell him and I hear a breath of relieve from the other end of the line.
“I’ll be home around 5 today,” Enzo says with a shaky voice.
“I’ll wait for you. Please don’t be late.”
“Sure. Bye tesoro,” he says and I hang up.
I scroll for the unknown number with the missed call of earlier and press the green button, walking out on the balcony of my room and taking in the warm breeze smelling of ocean.
Closing my eyes and filling my lungs with the smell of the sea, I wait for an answer at the other end of the line, but nobody picked up.
I end the call and put the phone on the coffee table in front of me, decided not to try again and stretching my arms to shake away the sleep still lingering on my face, I turn on my heels to walk back in the house but before I make any step, my phone rings again, the same unknown number.
“Hello,” I answer with expectation in my voice, my first thought going to Lucas.
“Hi. Is this Rebecca Downhill?” the male voice asks and yes, he does sound familiar.
“Yes, this is she.”
“Rebecca, hi. This is Mike. Mike Saphiro,” he feels the needed to elaborate but how can I not know who Mike is, the tall dirty blond hair and amber eyes man that used to be my father’s right hand and my all-time friend slash elder brother slash protector.
“Oh my God, Mike,” I warmly said.
I remember him to have always been a kind man with me, most of the times he would protect me and take on himself any wrath from my father.
Of course, he was always getting off the hook easier than I would, maybe because he was not hated as much as I was.
“Rebecca, finally. I can’t believe I’ve found you. I wasn’t sure I got the right number.”
“Yes Mike, it is me. My God, how are you?” I try to diplomatically get to the point but deep inside I was boiling with eagerness to find out the reason he has been looking for me.
Could it be about Lucas?
“I am in Sicily. Do you think we can meet? There is something I would like to talk to you,” he says, and I am taken aback a little by his request.
After all, he worked for my father, I didn’t know what to expect from him.
Not that I was afraid of him but... I felt the need to be on my own territory.
“Of course... I could see you at the place I am living currently, Benito mansion.”
“I know where that is, Rebecca. I will definitely come there. I can be there around 5pm.”
“Okay, I will be waiting. Bye Mike.”
I cut the call.
My brain is flooded with memories from my past life, my life in my father’s house, with pain and hurt, my life with Lucas, the love he once gave me and the pain after. Other thousands of possible reasons for Mike’s visit rush over and squeeze my kind and I wished I could meet him right now.
I blow out a sharp sigh. My life seems filled with three other normal lives and I wonder how much more it can fit.
I spent my day between swimming and tanning, napping and reading but constantly thinking of the time when I would meet Mike later today.
Around 4 in the afternoon, I retrieved in my room for a refreshing shower and put on a yellow sundress with a length up to my knee and sleeves to my elbow.
At 5pm sharp I hear the doorbell ringing and stand up from the barstool at the kitchen island and rush my steps to the entrance door and pulling it opened I see the tall figure of Mike standing in front of the door, his broad back facing me.
When he hears the door opening, he turns towards me, taking his sweet time staring at me.
“Rebecca, my God. I still can’t believe I have found you,” he says and makes a step forwards which make me understand he approaches for a hug.
Which I gave, a quick, awkward hug.
“Yes, you did. Come in, please,” I move away from the doorway, motioning him that he can come in.
We both walk towards the living room, Mike assessing the room and showing himself pleased with what he sees.
“Mr. Benito’s mansion looks to be the top around here,” he says. “Hell, the top of all the other ones I’ve seen before,” he compliments.
“Yeah, he does. Family inheritance,” I reply. “Something to drink?”
“Yeah, please. Maybe a dry whiskey.”
What the hell is with these mafia guys and whiskey? Seems it makes them look more manly.
I fix a glass and hand it to him as he sits on the sofa and me on the armchair in front of him.
A few seconds of heavy silence passed before I decided to start the talk on no matter what subject.
“So, how is mom?” I asked him unexpectedly.
“I wouldn’t know. She left to her family immediately after your father’s and brother’s death. I didn’t see her or hear about her ever since.”
“Oh,” I say although it didn’t affect me in any way the news about her.
“Rebecca, I came here... I was searching for you because...” he tried to say but it seemed he could find his words.
“Well, I believe it’s time for you to come back and take over your father business,” he spat in a breath, leaving me mouth gaping at his blunt request.
“What?” I mumbled in shock.
I never thought about my father’s business after I left for Italy.
I never cared about it, never wondered what came of it, although it was very possible that I was the heir after the death of my elder brother.
And even now, like before, the thought of going back and run the Downhill Inc. doesn’t appeal me.
“Downhill Inc. doesn’t do well although it has potential. The board running it is sharing and stealing whatever comes from it as neither you nor your mother are around. It shouldn’t die, Rebecca. It is stable at the moment. It is safe for now, but I don’t know for how long and that company is yours, Rebecca. It will give you the stability that you deserve.”
“I can’t come back. This is my life now. I am missing nothing. I have everything I need here,” I reply spreading my arms and presenting him the surroundings as if being my own.
“Rebecca, that business is rightfully yours and you deserve it. I am going to be with you, every step of the way, like I did with your father and brother only that this time... I am going to enjoy it,” he insists with an honest smile bloomed on his lips, looking deep into my eyes in search for a glimpse of interest from my side.
The more I listen to him stronger I feel to back home although my tongue is speaking otherwise.
I can be the free, self-standing woman I have always dreamed to be but hey, am I really capable of it?
Will I manage on my own or I will fail and lose Enzo as well? He will not be happy with this, I know it.
Even though he has always claimed that he wants me a strong woman standing on my own feet, he will never agree that I move back to the states.
He has given me so much here, my freedom to do whatever I find fitted to me, but here, in Italy.
But what if I really want to go back? Maybe I could find Lucas.
Maybe I could go back to my life I had before it was broken in millions of pieces.
But then again, going back home means facing Salvatore and Marciano Benito.
And how much protection I can have from Enzo with him being thousands of miles away?
Mike’s eyes are piercing mine, staring at my struggle that I am sure it shows on my face and still, patiently and quiet he waits for my final reply.
I am pending between the two options, each one fighting for dominance in my brain and I stand up and pace around the room, weighting the two options I have.
“Who the fuck are you and what are you doing in here?” a voice breaks on the house walls like thunders in a stormy night.
"Purpose fuels passion."