Chapter 56 - She feels different [Republished]
I can’t get rid of this damn headache since morning.
Ever since I woke up from coma, I kept having these awful headaches and no painkiller could take it away easily.
I feel like my head splits in two and the fact that Becca hasn’t given me any sign today, doesn’t help.
I drink the third glass of whiskey and it’s only noon.
Fuck, maybe mom is right and not a minute later I see her name flashing on the screen of my phone.
“Shit,” I curse and take the call, pressing the green button.
“Hey, mom. How are you?” I start a small talk, hoping she doesn’t have a lifelong subject to talk about.
“Luc, sweetheart, how are you?” she says cheerfully and I relax as I feel from her voice that this is just a checking call.
“Good, mom. Good. What about you? How is dad?”
“We are both good. Your dad went to doctor yesterday. All is fine, he just needs to be careful with his blood pressure.”
“Good. I am happy to hear it,” I say, leaning against the backrest of my office chair and hoping to end this call soon, pressing my fingers to my temples.
Fuck, this pain is too much today.
“Luc...” mom says with a shaking voice.
“Yes mom, I am still here.”
“Luc, your father says Becca is back,” she breathes, almost afraid to let me know.
“Yes mom, I know,” I tell her and fuck, the pain is darkening my vision.
“You know?” he says, surprised.
“Yes, mom. We met. We spoke. We are good.”
“Oh, well... If you say so, honey. How are your headaches? Still coming and going?”
“No, mom, none lately,” I lie.
No need to worry them more than they already are.
“That’s great, Luc,” she says in a happy tone.
“Listen, mom, I have another call. I have to go,” I tell her, seeing Mike’s name flashing on my screen.
“Sure, baby. We speak later. Bye, Luc. Take care, sweetheart,” she cheerfully greets me.
“You too, mom. Bye,” I say and press the green button on my screen to launch the call of Mike.
“Mike, how are you?” I said in the most serious tone I could utter. I only hoped nothing happened to Becca.
“I am good, Lucas. Listen, we need to talk. Where can I find you?”
“I’ll be there around 3pm,” he states and hangs up.
The gravity in his tone didn’t sit well with me, and the hours I had to wait till he had time to pass by my office... let’s just say waiting was not my strongest point, not when it was about Becca, so I decided on two painkillers instead of one, hoping my headache would ease until I had to have the talk with Mike.
True to his words, Mike was in my office at 3 pm sharp.
“Mike, come in,” I tell him when my assistant shows him in. We shake hands and he sits on the sofa of the office.
“Whiskey?” I ask him.
“It’s too early for that shit for me,” he says, and I call my assistant to bring him a coffee.
“What’s up, Mike? Where is Becca?”
He pins his elbows on his knees and starts rubbing his hands together. “Mike...” I encourage him to talk as I begin to feel anxious myself.
“Lucas, I had to tell her,” he starts and my face hardens.
I fucking hope he is not talking about what I am thinking he is talking about.
My assistant comes in with the coffee and she tries to open her mouth, probably to ask if I need anything else, but I don’t have time for her now, as my eyes are piercing Mike’s like knives.
“Out!” I growl at her and she disappears.
“You told her what, Mike?” I asked between my clenched teeth.
“About her mother and Marciano.”
“For fuck’s sake, Mike! Why?” I growl, standing up and running my fingers through my hair, pacing around, feeling like an idiot staying captured in this fucking office when actually I should be out on the door and be with her.
“She asked me to teach her to shoot. She says it is to defend herself. Which tells me that she is plotting something with Salvatore’s situation. So I thought that if she knew the truth, she might leave all this shit for you to solve.”
“And... she is her mother’s daughter. She still insisted that she learn to shoot, so I took her to shoot.”
“Fucking shit! Mike, she can’t take this in her hands, and you fucking know it!”
“Lucas, she is not a child anymore. She has all the rights to take her own decisions.”
“Are you insane, Mike? What the fuck are you talking about?” I holler at him and I’m expecting that he fights me back, but no. He just sits these, so fucking relaxed and my fists are itching me to smash his face.
“I have to talk to her,” I say, realizing that Mike will be of no use to me.
I grab my phone and exit my office, dialing Becca’s number and find out where I can find her.
“She’s home, Lucas,” Mike informs me, and I keep walking out of my office. I’m grateful Mike has his eyes on Becca and I make a mental note to repay his devotion.
Pacing through the lobby of the office building, I have a change of heart and end the call to Becca. I’m thinking it’s better that she doesn’t know I’m coming because she won’t have the time to run and avoid me. She is smart and for sure she knows Mike has told me by now about her plans and I’m afraid she will avoid me.
I don’t know why, but since I’ve gotten her back, I have the feeling she is slipping through my fingers.
I am not very sure I still have her under my control anymore, and that is making me insecure... and afraid, afraid I will lose her again, afraid I can’t have her back completely.
The drive to her home took like days. I got caught in the shitty traffic of NY and by the time I was exiting the city, taking the road to her mansion, it was already late afternoon.
I was grateful when I saw her mansion in the skyline and as soon as entered the gates I pulled my car in front of the front door and got down, rushing my steps to the entrance.
I try opening the door but it’s locked and I knock a few times, becoming anxious by the second, and soon the door opens and Rosie stands in the door frame, welcoming me.
“Mr. Tate, hello,” she says, and being one damn smart woman, she steps aside and opens the way for me.
“Is Becca home?” I ask and before Rosie has the chance to answer, Becca shows up at the top of the stairs.
“Lucas, what are you doing here?” she says in a happy voice and my brain clears of all thoughts, doubts and worries just by seeing her.
Most probably my face is not that calm as I see her frowning and rushing her steps down the stairs, almost running towards me.
Seconds later she is close to my reach and I grab the back of her neck, pulling her in my arms and burying my face into her beautiful black hair, inhaling her scent that I’ve missed so much.
“Lucas, what’s wrong?” she whispers, curling her fingers through my hair and rubbing gently the skin of my head. Besides the twitching of my manhood in the pants, that warmth and love streaming out through each of her skin pore were my addiction.
I breathe deeply and squeeze her strongly in my arms, completely surendered to my addiction.
“Are you okay?” I mumble against the skin of her neck where I kiss softly.
“Of course I am okay. Why wouldn’t I?” she replies with concern in the tone of her voice.
“You didn’t call. You didn’t text. I knew nothing about you almost all day,” I reply.
“Is Gio on vacation?” she laughs at the fact that I always have Gio on her tail and there was no such thing like ‘I knew nothing about you all day’.
And I smile back to her. God, I love this woman!
“No, but I told him to back off,” I say, distancing myself a few inches, just enough to take in her beautiful face while she bends back her head to see me better.
Her hands caress my temples and brushes back some strands of my hair while my arms refuse to unwrap from around her waist.
“You shouldn’t have. It makes you not to worry when you know about me. I should have texted you. I am sorry,” she says, and no matter how relaxed she tries to look, her cheeks are flushed in a pink-rosy shade, and I can’t resist her plump lips shaping a sensual smile.
I lean my head towards her and capture those lips in a kiss that she responds to with no hesitation.
“I know it does but I want you to feel free,” I whisper between her hot parted lips and I crush another kiss on her lips, deeper this time and more urgent.
She moans when her lungs empty of air and struggles to inhale. And only then I allow her to breathe.
“I missed you, Becca. I am really sorry for last night,” I apologize, locking my eyes with hers and hoping I won’t have to live another day without her.
“I know, Lucas,” she says, cupping my cheek with her delicate palm and I snuggle my face into it, lazily closing my eyes.
“Come, I will make you a coffee,” she says, taking my hand and guiding me to the living. “Did you eat?” she asks.
“No, but I am okay. I am having a business dinner in an hour. A coffee is just fine,” I say while seems to completely ignore me and, shoving her hands under my suit jacket and pulling it off. She places it carefully on the armrest of the sofa where she pushes me to sit.
Standing between my flexed knees, I grab her hips and pull her closer, raising my eyes up while her head is bent, glaring in each other’s eyes. My hands won’t lose touch of her skin.
Her black curly hair falls along her face and gives her an angelic look that soothes my tormented heart.
She sinks her hands into my hair and I close my eyes, taking in those touches that I have missed so much. Her tiny hands with long, delicate fingers find their spot on my face, her thumbs brushing over my closed eyes and I lean against her right hand placing a kiss in her palm.
“Are you okay, Lucas?” she insists asking me in an angelic voice and I frown my eyebrows thinking of how much I missed her caring. No woman has even known me so well as she does.
She feels my anxiety when I am nervous, she can read me when I’m worried, when something is pressuring me. She always knew how to make those struggles feel lighter.
“You look tired and tensed,” she whispers, and I smile, leaning my forehead against her womb.
I never forgot our baby that was lost. I blamed myself for that all the time, and I still do.
She didn’t insist with more questions, she just allows me to stay there, in this blessing silence, feeling each other.
I needed the silence only she knew to give. I was mad to feel the heat of her body close to me.
She always knew how to give me peace.
“I’ve missed you, Becca. I’ve missed you so fucking much,” and the grip of my hands digs deeper into the flesh of her hips. “I wrecked without you, a dead man walking. I don’t feel, I don’t care, I don’t give a shit on anything, not even myself. You can’t imagine how much I wished I could stand up from that fucking hospital bed and stop you from leaving. You said that day you were leaving far to keep me safe, and all I wanted was to tell you I didn’t need protection, I needed you, Becca,” I tell her, my forehead still pressed on her womb. “I could never find enough words to tell you how much I loved you, baby. I’ve always loved you, from the first moment I saw you that night. I knew then that I wouldn’t stop until I made you mine, and when I finally found the way, I’ve hurt longer than I loved you during our marriage. I used to come to your room every night asking you to forgive me but... you... were so rarely sober from those shitty pills I pushed you to need.”
I feel the muscles of her stomach tremble and a sob escapes her lips.
She didn’t stop caressing the crown of my head my entire confession and she sat there, quiet and humble, listening to my shitty excuses of gracefully failing to love her the way she deserved.
When I raise my head to look at her beautiful face, I see her staring down at me, her eyes flushed in a pool of tears, many of them rolling down her face and my heart shrinks.
I don’t want to see her crying, I can’t bare seeing her sad and suffering.
“Oh, Becca,” I sigh and snap up on my feet, towering her small frame and pulling her into my arms so strong that I almost crush her against my chest.
“Daddy... take me upstairs,” she whispers.
“Fuck...,” I hiss and grab the back of her thighs, lifting her up as she curls her legs around my waist.
Crushing my lips on hers in a demanding kiss, I make my way towards the stairs while she leans her head on my shoulder.
I want to ravish her. I want to smash her on the walls while I pound into her, deep and wild, but she feels so fragile in my arms right now that I am almost afraid I would break her.
I walk slowly the stairs up and I feel her wet lips on the skin of my neck leaving goosebumps behind.
Opening the door of her room, I walk to the bed where I lay her gently on her back.
Her eyes shine in the dim light of the room and I feel drown in their green depth. I capture her lips in a passionate kiss, our lips molding each other.
Light bites on her lower lips are urging her to let me dive in her mouth and when my way is free I kiss her deep, curling my tongue with hers while moans are emerging from her throat.
I break the kiss just to look into her eyes that hold so much tenderness and love. Her cheeks are flushed pink and my stare makes her shy.
“I want to make love to you, Becca,” I tell her in a forceful low tone, but my voice is still rough and deep.
She smiles and her fingers make their way to the buttons of my shirt that she starts to open, one by one.
“Then love me, Lucas,” she replies, fisting the fabric of my shirt with her hands and pulling me closer to her lips.
"Being happy never goes out of style."