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Mind BODY & Soul part II: To have and to Hold

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Chapter 1

Present

We have been discovered, alert the media!
I paced the length of the guest suite that I considered mine, which was located at the northwestern headquarter compound. My mind was working overtime as it calculated all possible outcomes today.
Over the past three months Kaajhem and I had managed to keep our bond-mate status on the down low. Well, that was before the Klah-tie came on scene and completely ruined everything. Kaajhem would most likely lay the blame on me, attributing it to my little rendezvous. Besides it wasn’t as if he were as concerned about the outcome as I was. He had always warned me that it was just a matter of time before his brothers or mine, discover the truth. He wasn’t telling me anything that I didn’t anticipate already. However, for me, it was a ‘we’d cross that bridge when we get there.’ Right about now, I was on that bridge. Crossing? Not so much.
The past three months had been crazy maybe because I had been at the epicenter , but a wild ride it was, nonetheless.
I must make it known that finding one’s mate and remaining in contact and un-bonded was a major distraction, and distracted we were.
That mission that I had, had turned out to be a complete disaster resulting in the Prime Maiden’s abduction. Kaajhem had been willing to take full responsibility for it but I couldn’t sit back and let him because I too had played a major role. Rujcharm was furious, Kaajhem was torn and it transferred to me because I never wish to be that wedge that would come between both brothers especially with how unbelievably close they were. The whole ordeal was tumultuous, nerve-racking not only for Rujcharm but for everyone including me. Na-Leigha was a norm and she and I were close already. I was willing to do any and everything within my power to assist them in rescuing her. Instead I was unwillingly and forcefully ushered off to safety despite my protest. I resisted because I felt responsible and I could have been an asset. Yet, Kaajhem would not hear it, he ordered his men to take me away from the situation. He even justified his actions by stating that he was honoring our nonverbal agreement, which I proposed. I understood him perfectly since our proximity had already screwed things up.
Thankfully, Na-Leigha had been rescued by her mate and to this day she remained safe by his side. As for me, I really tried to be on my best behavior.
Kaajhem’s men took me back to my family home. I didn’t mind initially because I had a good time catching up with my parents. However, I couldn’t stay like I knew Kaajhem had hoped. I knew he just wanted me safe and out of harm’s way and that wasn’t just because I was his compat. He had always been this way with me, and he wasn’t going to change overnight. However, my parents knew that there was something different about me and would have uncover the truth if I had stayed longer. My mother should never be underestimated just because she is a norm, she was very insightful.
I had returned to my flat at the college under the constant watch of Kaajhem’s men. Of course they knew we were compats, but they were loyal to Kaajhem. We stayed apart in the presence of extras elsewhere, but Kaajhem would check in occasionally just to tempt the living willpower out of me.
Merciful heavens! Kaajhem was a tease and deliberate as hell. He would take unnecessary showers using my things and then parade around my place shirtless flexing his carved muscles. Then he would reap his delight when his keen senses detect my body’s lewd actions that he had provoked. He would find humor in my contradictory state. I was utterly aroused by him even though he forever antagonized me. I tried to avoid him as much as possible. I had to if I wished to remain un-bonded so I could do justice to my ongoing mission.
For the most part, I kept myself occupied in my room while he was present. Apart from the bathroom, it was the only space that he would allow me. I say allow loosely because allow and Biddu didn’t relate. Whenever I’ve had enough of him and his antics or when I honestly felt like I was at my breaking point; I would all but throw him out.
Sure, our relationship changed, maybe grew throughout the years but it had always been intense for reasons unknown then. It made him exceedingly uptight where it concerned me. Kaajhem wasn’t a brooder so naturally his usually easygoing, humorous, and comical qualities would surely make an appearance to charm the socks or in my case, the panties off me. It made it difficult to stay mad at him hence the reason why annoyance persist.
He also visited when he suspected that I had something up my sleeves, like my own personal mission but it was mostly just to read me, trying to delve into the real reason why I would not bond with him. There was a deeper reason, one I couldn’t divulge with anyone.
The reason why I, we were here was because of my most recent mission. It started off perfectly more or less after I narrowly escaped Kaajhem’s goons. I was meeting with someone, a norm, who had useful albeit risky information and our meeting had been going well until I detected Klah-tie presence. After I verified that I wasn’t being setup by this norm, I decided to pull the disappearing act not wanting to be caught up with the Klah-tie; but I then realized that the norm was their intended target. This young woman was a new scientist, a recent university graduate but had unwittingly gotten herself caught between both worlds. She wasn’t dangerous, just unlucky I guessed, and I felt the need to help her nerdy ass to escape the Klah-tie. They were bad news and also the bridge between life and death where this young scientist was concerned. For my efforts, I only got myself trapped in an area that was becoming increasingly populated with Klah-tie. I was outnumbered but not outwitted because I usually could handle myself but I was now a bit handicapped by the scientist. She was smart alright, but she hasn’t got even the slightest street smarts. I would never proclaim sainthood because the thought of ditching her to save my ass crossed my mind, but some code written deeply within me prevented this. I held my own as expected with the first Klah-tie I encountered, they were norms and had never met a girl like Biddu. The shock on their face when they witness their own defeat at my hands was hilarious. In no time, despite me trying to suppress all the happenings; a tipped off Kaajhem was heading my way. His men were closer they were already mobile since I had given them the slip. Kaajhem’s men being my personal security, guaranteed that he would be notified first in any event even before my parents or brother. It was one of the reasons why he was often the one on my case. He wasn’t particularly intrigued about it at first but now that we were compats, I was sure that he was appreciating this setup.
By the time that both Kaajhem and his men were on the scene, it was like a warzone culminating at the edge of a forest with Kaajhem, his men and I as the victors. But of course, I would be a part of the fight! I was no damn damsel in distress. We had however taking serious hits since we were significantly outnumbered. Kaajhem himself had been stabbed several times in his chest. He sent his men who were severely injured back to the headquarters for treatment, while he and the two who weren’t worse for wear; remained behind awaiting the second trip. When he was certain that no other Klah-tie members was going to show, he ordered his men to take the girl to one of our secured facilities until they knew further. However, this couldn’t happen until I sorted her. On top of what she knew already she was now exposed to us, placing her in even more danger, hence me and my sorting.
We had to change plans because Rujcharm had made himself the second unit and was already on his way which gave us little time to act before being discovered. Kaajhem called back his men so that I could leave with them before Rujcharm showed up. However Rujcharm was approaching fast and was expected to arrive before Kaajhem’s men got back. Our best option was for me to go ahead and meet up with them putting distance between us rather than waiting here. I knew the plan, but I couldn’t implement it. Kaajhem was struggling, lying there on the ground. His breaths were long and harsh because his lungs were filled with blood. He needed to go under, suppressing himself to a meditative or subconscious state to preserve his life by reducing its physical demands. In that state he would appear lifeless.
He had refused to go under when I left because he wanted to be fully aware should anything go awry. He was risking his life for mine and unduly so because he knew I could take care of myself. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if anything were to happen to him. I had gone back to him and I begged him to go under. It had cut me deeply, much deeper than it should, how much he was suffering and struggling with every breath. My word! Kaajhem was my undoing, he appeared so vulnerable. He was bleeding from his sides and coughing up blood I felt the need to help him. I knew he was communicating with his brother who was getting closer each minute. I didn’t care that my little secret was in jeopardy, not when Kaajhem’s life was in the balance. I might not want to bond with him, but it didn’t mean I wanted him hurting. I love him too much to just watch him suffer or die. Well shit! I admitted it. I hated these close call situations that exposed all those deep-rooted feelings in all their cheesy glory, particularly when Kaajhem was reading me with his knowing eyes holding me in deep regard. He’d know the things that I refused to admit.
I badgered him persistently until he gave in and went under, and the second he did, I instantly procured one of my blades. Gritting my teeth to suppress any painful outburst, I sliced deeply into my wrist causing bright red blood to gush. I placed it to his mouth, and he latched on swallowing in large gulps due to need and pure instincts. Every pull of his lips brought me euphoric satisfaction and I struggled to stay focus on what I was doing rather than how Kaajhem’s mouth on my skin was making me feel. Also with every pull he was becoming more aware and was beginning to refuse what I was offering him, so I pushed him to take more to boost his healing. What I had done was not practiced and was going to be added to our already overflowing list of arguments. Not the consuming blood part, oh no, it was the part about taking from females.
I was about to lift his shirt to assess his wound, but he grabbed my hand his eyes full of expected questions, questions that I too had for myself. Nothing screamed mate more than male extra taking blood from a female. What other reason was there? Kaajhem sat up and braced his back against the tree behind him just as I detected the link between him, and his brother opened again. Rujcharm was much closer and I needed to put distance between me and Kaajhem. It might be too late, but I would give it a shot. Kaajhem had been showing signs of improvement already, he would be okay yet still I felt so torn leaving him there. I had only left him after I reminded myself of my reasons.
In no time Rujcharm had found him but I believed that I had placed enough distance between us. I kept my link to Kaajhem open, and I had felt the full impact of the anger rolling off his brother who was very suspicious of the entire scene. I had stopped running because it was no use and I felt Kaajhem’s resolve. I had returned the way I came; my secret was out.

*************************
I lay back in bed and closed my mental space, shutting it off from everyone because I needed to hear myself think and with the newsbreak, everyone was in a heightened mental state; especially Rujcharm, Kaajhem and now Bishorn and I was in the middle of it. A foreboding feeling within me prophesied of an impending storm. What we did and how it had significantly impacted past events was now on the front burner. Rujcharm was furious, my brother was fuming and Kaajhem was… Kaajhem was in a fog as he had been patched up by Dr. Caine. I felt his every effort at staying connected with me, my wellbeing taking precedent. He too could sense that trouble was coming our way.
We both awaited Rujcharm for a promised discussion and I didn’t know why we were even entertaining a discussion with anyone else for that matter, when we haven’t appropriately done so with each other. Our agreements were basically a bunch of undefined pacts between us both.
What have I done? Although I was closed off mentally, I could still sense Kaajhem. What was I thinking? I had created a blood link with him and there was no undoing that. I tried to find comfort in the fact that the link would be stronger in me than it would be for Kaajhem because he received my blood. This should give me a greater control of our shared path, but this was Kaajhem d’ Varq. He overpowered and not the other way around. With that thought, the sliver of positive outlook that I had, came crashing down. Besides having the strongest connection wasn’t going to aid my cause.


“Biddu?” Kaajhem communicated across our link the minute he came to. He was still in the infirmary on the third and uppermost floor.
“Biddu is out of her mind, please leave a message and make it quick.”
“I’m on my way to you.”
“On your way? Lie down Kaajhem!”
“I prefer to do so beside you.”
“Kaajhem, stay where you are! Please. You need to heal.” I added trying to reason him into compliance.
He wasn’t listening to me. He blocked our link temporarily and was already heading my way when I suddenly felt my brother’s presence in the building.
Bishorn's mood hadn’t improve since the news broke, in fact it gradually worsened. I zeroed in on his location because I had planned on meeting with him instead of staying here waiting to be tempted by Kaajhem.
However, Bishorn didn’t go to his dorm, he remained somewhere on the ground floor.
That floor I wasn’t au fait with because its access was highly restricted. I had only been there for a handful of training sessions. The first floor which was the living quarters came equipped with a gym and training area and that was where I received most of my physical or combat training.
“Later Biddu,” was all that my one and only brother threw at me. It hurt; but why was I getting the cold shoulder? Call me spoilt because I was, but I wasn’t used to him being this way with me.
Kaajhem too diverted towards Bishorn's direction the moment he entered the building broadcasting his foul mood.
I was grateful for small mercies because I really didn’t want to deal with Kaajhem just yet. I was already getting an overdose of him just because of the blood link that I unfortunately had created. He remained open to me probably hoping that I would reciprocate. Too bad I really couldn’t.
The tension within him shot up and I didn’t have to dig deep to know why. I freshened up then sped towards the ground floor. A heated confrontation was brewing between my compat and my brother and it could get ugly really fast.
Finding one’s compat was considered a blessing but this thing between me and Kaajhem was a curse, a curse I tell you. Riffs were occurring left, right and center and I found myself at the heart of it. One developed between Kaajhem and his twin and it was happening again. This time between Kaajhem and his best friend, my brother. When I got to the ground floor, I was denied access as per usual. I remained unmoved at the security point; someone was going to let me in. I faced the camera.
“Geminee, hun; you there?”
I waved at the camera even though I didn’t sense her. She was most likely off duty today. Geminee was a very brilliant computer engineer and one of the supervising security personnel here.
I really needed to get inside before they kill one another unnecessarily because I was detecting very hostile vibes coming from them.
Both were engaged in a very heated standoff and I tuned in closer when I realized that the confrontation was about to get physical.
I didn’t mind being the center of attention until now because I really don’t want them fighting over me. Thankfully I felt Rujcharm's present. He was heading this way. He was the best man for the job and possibly the only one who could diffuse this situation.
“Biddu.”
“Your highness,” I returned in mocked tone as I turned to face my Prime Servant. Your highness wasn’t a traditional greeting that we used as extras but it never stopped me from using it to poke fun. I had the utmost respect for him and giving our close familial relationship, I could be and was usually casual with him. But I had screwed up. Royally; and he wasn’t entertaining my teasing at all. Actually, he wasn’t entertaining me at all.
He accessed the door without further acknowledging me.
“I’m sorry,” I blurted; guilt overriding my conscience.
He paused, “I know,” he said as he disappeared beyond the door. I felt anger, frustration and a whole lot of annoyance bubbling deep with in him. He was going to let Kaajhem have it, but to be fair I should be right next to him during. On a mental link he reminded me of my upcoming audience with him where we’d discuss and address all my issues as he puts it. He had a pressing matter that we both needed him to address.
Releasing a long breath, I backed away slowly from the door. Initially, I had thought that I needed to be on the inside to knock the shit out of the two chest-beating-apes in there, but better sense told me to get the hell away from that testosterone overdose situation. I wasn’t responsible for any of their senseless actions and yet I sent a subtle plea for my brother’s sake since he was acting on high emotions.
I returned to the first floor seeking my friend. Imagine that. Biddu has a real friend. I opened the door and barged right in. I heard movement in the kitchen and went there.
“Hey you. Ugh!” I wrinkled my nose. “You smell like sex and Rujcharm.”
“Thanks, it’s a new fragrance, now get out.”
Ignoring her, I smiled cheekily at her as I grabbed a mug and poured myself a cup of her coffee. I sat at the table while I sipped and savored the coffee.
Na-leigha poured herself coffee and sat at the table with me.
“And you my dear, smell of Kaajhem and sex—ual frustration,” she smirked at me.
I rolled my eyes at my Prime Maiden, punishable but thankfully she too considered me as her friend. One of her best as she had expressed.
“So, you and Kaajhem, huh?”
“Not yet.”
“Well, congrats!”
“Did you not here me say, not yet?”
“Exactly, not yet rather than not at all, so in advance then. I always thought that you two had chemistry.”
“But of course! The chemistry that is involved in the creation of nuclear bombs and deadly explosives.”
“And fireworks,” she added teasingly.
I smirked at her. “I’m here for your support not your mockery.”
“And you have it Bee, you have both.”
I got serious for a moment, “I also have an apology…”
“Water under the bridge Bee,” she interrupted. “You had nothing to do with my abduction and therefore nothing to apologize for. Damon did that and he got what he deserved.”
“And what exactly did he deserve? I heard he was still alive.”
“He is because he is paying with his life."
“You don’t know exactly how, do you?”
She shook her head. “I’m not sure if I want to know the details. Just knowing that he'd have to spend the rest of his life in confinement as a crippled, balls-less and dick-less invalid is satisfying enough.”
My friend had proven herself tough on many occasions but deep down she was still a softie. She probably feared the details might be too gruesome. We extras can be ruthless; we are human beings after all. If it were me, he would have been in my custody while I executed his punishment for the rest of his most definitely miserable life. As Prime Maiden she certainly had that power. Powers and authority that she was getting used to.
“I heard that our Prime Maiden was shattering the little doubts that had existed about a norm governing the Extra Community. In fact, it was said she is even more highly requested than our Prime.”
“Mostly true. It’s why I needed the coffee this morning. I had recently returned from travels and I’m still a bit tired.
“I know for sure Rujcharm is appreciating this and appreciating his mate. Intelligence hiding within a simple diner waitress. It teaches never to judge the book by its cover. Now he is tossing you into the ring to handle the diplomatic tasks on his behalf so he could stay right where he wanna be; out in the battle field.”
“He really does have a lot of responsibilities now that I’m fully exposed to all his undertakings. So, I don’t mind shouldering some of it, if it’s just to take the load off him.”
“And our people love you Leigha because of who you are and what you do, not just for your mate but for our community on a whole. We too feel that load off. You are doing great and it’s not just what I heard it’s what I observe too.”
She smiled brightly at me and I smiled back.
“Thanks Biddu it means a lot coming from you.”
She wasn’t lying. One’s got to work hard for a simple complement from me.
“Don’t stop taking them loads from your mate, keep him and thus the whole nation happy.”
She burst out laughing nearly choking on her coffee at my guttered innuendo.
“So, what’s the hold up with you and Kaajhem? Why are you denying your compat, and why did you keep it a secret?”
“Are you asking me as your friend or as your Primae?”
I watched my one and only friend wishing I could disclose to her the reason why I was denying my mate. There was a deep and very serious meaning behind everything I do. All of it. The reason why I wanted to attend norm college and most importantly why I cannot accept my mate. I really needed to share my burden, share what I know with someone I believe I could count on, someone I could trust and the woman sitting across from me would have been ideal. Except one of the things that I appreciated her for was the major thing keeping me from sharing. She was a norm and vulnerable within our society. I risk exposure if I shared anything with her.
“As your friend of course,” she confirmed.
I observed her closely as I swallowed the last mouthful of the coffee knowing she was not getting any answers from me. I was a bit miffed not being able to confide in her but had to remember what was important.
I stood up abruptly and took my cup to the sink. “I, you, we need to get away from here for a bit. The testosterone spores in the air are so concentrated I almost feel masculine. What say you, girls’ trip?” I watched her with poppy-dog eyes knowing she’d come on board thinking that maybe I’d open up to her away from here. It was far from the truth, but I plan on keeping her quite distracted.

Kaajhem

This could very well be my last day on earth, I thought as I made my way to the slaughterhouse. I might as well bleat like the sacrificial lamb. I bet the butcher, my former best friend; was probably sharpening his knifes.
I burst open the door to our training room and immediately Bishorn’s murderous glare challenged me. He came straight here after returning from his recent assignment and he remained dressed in combat gear as he stood in a darkened corner silent and deadly.
“I wouldn’t sharpen my knives for you.”
“Ouch!” I knew I really screwed up when my brother would rather butcher me with a dull knife. “Hey, I thought I would be the one who gets the witty one-liners to my own end scene or should I just say baa or moo maybe.”
He remained silent and unmoved by my taunting even though I could taste the fury radiating from him. His anger clouded any reasonable thoughts and thus he was in a ‘shoot first then ask questions after mood’. This all meant that our encounter here would most certainly culminate in a physical confrontation. Superficially, it might seem like an unnecessary and senseless conflict because matters such as discovering my compat were out of my control; but as with every drama there was always more to the story. Anyone would agree that our situation was indeed complicated, but this was further compounded by secrecy.
“Biddu is my sister, Kaaj!
“Really now!? Why didn’t you say so?” Sarcasm saturated every word.
“So you discovered that she was your compat over three months ago but you hid that fact from everyone, like it was a burning shame. Yet all the while you were stringing her along like a disgraced bitch. Biddu doesn’t deserve that, Kaaj.”
“No, she doesn’t.” I took a deep breath and held my tongue for a moment before I act the fool and grin at him or blurt out ‘I told you so,’ at this most inappropriate moment. Knowledge of a distant argument between us was headlining my thoughts. I had challenged him about a year ago that I knew Biddu better than he or even her parents did, and his conclusion was that it was impossible. At this point even if it wasn’t so then it is so now. The tables had turned for quite a while in my opinion. For sure Bishorn had always been soft on his sister, bias even but he always made sure to hold her accountable for her actions. Yet now he would never appreciate her role in this mess and that she was the one who indeed orchestrated it.
“Then enlighten me Kaaj what excuse do you have for the past three months. What about the missions we did?”
“What about them?”
“Because of your secrecy you acted like it was business as usual even while we entertained and slept with women.”
“You! You slept with women,” I defended.
“But you certainly entertained them because I witnessed it, how far you took it I’m not sure, but in all that time you knew already that you had a mate. MY LITTLE SISTER, YOU SON OF A GUN!” He lashed out at me before leveling his tone. “And for what reason because I can’t think of any."
Deep down I can’t say I didn’t know where his anger at the thought of me being the perpetrator stemmed from. I believed that everyone would in fact interpret it that way. In the equation with me and Biddu, while Biddu had always been enamored then infatuated and even a little bit obsessed with me, I had been mostly annoyed by her and often pushed her away. However within the last two to three years being in my protection, I witnessed what everyone else fail to see, her transformation into a self-made woman. She remained in their minds the same mischievous girl though I would say brat but that was in my mind.
“Biddu obviously would always be your little sister but she’s a grown ass woman. Trust me I know and…” Shoots! That didn’t come out right, especially with Bishorn fuming nearby.
“Oof!” I got the wind knocked out of me before I could finish my statement, but I saw it coming the second the last suggestive words left my mouth. I should have known better. I found myself on the ground flat on my back. Pain seared through my body from the impact and the awakening of my most recent wounds. His right then left fist jerked my brain each time they contacted my jaw. The assault desisted quickly when there were no counter attacks. I didn’t retaliate, I just let him empty his rage on me for thinking I cheated, shamed and dishonor his sister. Besides it was impossible to reason with him this enraged plus Biddu was close by and all but pleaded with me not to hurt her brother. She never pleaded with him on my behalf, and it didn’t sting me like it should have. Biddu knew who her compat was when it came to fights and battles. Apart from my two brothers Bishorn was the best out there, still he was no match. I was undisputed.
“Let me know when you two idiots are done so we can sort this mess out like sensible norms instead of volatile extras,” Rujcharm threw at us when he entered using a line his mate probably threw at him. You couldn’t tell by just looking at her but his mate had a hot mouth on her. He barely cast an eye on us as he proceeded to bench press weights.
Bishorn loosened the choke hold he held me in since I refused to fight. Rising up, he shoved at me before proceeding to punch the filling out of the punching bag. All the while, I sure bet he wished it was me.
I sat up slowly, evaluating my wounds old and new but found none too serious. A few stitches undone but I would heal just the same. They waited as I prepared to summarize the past three months, explaining my seemingly senseless act. It probably was senseless indeed, even I had thought it unnecessary from the start. The gamut of this situation rest on the reason why. The answer was simple yet complicated. I did it for Biddu and why she wanted it, I had not a clue. Yet.
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