Life is Just Not Kind

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CHAPTER 11

-BANDILE TSHAWE

I call Mihlali after leaving home and she answers after a while

“Hello”

She says

“Hi, this is Bandile. Can we talk? Where are you?”

I ask, sounds like she’s driving

“I am on the way to my place, can we meet tomorrow instead”

She says sounding really drained but the jerk in me doesn’t want to give her the satisfaction

“Send me your location and I’ll come to you”

I say and she sighs and calls out her location, I’m surprised to hear that she lives 2 streets away from Troy and Lara’s house. I drive to her place and drive inside the yard right after her car. I park behind her car and she gets out. I walk over to her, she opens the back door

“Let me”

I offer and she stands aside, I pull out a sleeping Jay

“Thank you”

She says and I nod. She takes a bag out and then leads the way; he is such a light weight. She walks up to the door and opens it the stands aside for me. This whole time we both quiet as she leads the way to the bedroom, she opens up the blankets for him and I place him in. She walks to the closet and comes back with his pj’s then starts undressing him, she pats him a little and tells him to go and pee, he makes his way to the bathroom with his eyes half open

“Will he manage?”

I ask and she nods

“He’ll manage”

She says confidently. He walks back in and then she helps him into a onesie while I stand and watch her every move. She tucks him in

“I love you mommy”

He says in his sleepy voice, she smiles

“I love you too baby”

She says and then kisses his forehead and stands up preparing to leave, she switches on a side lamp that makes the room look like an aquarium and turns off the main light.

“Can I get you anything?”

She asks as soon as we get to the lounge

“Wine please”

I say and she gets up and walks to the kitchen. Mihlali still looks as amazing as she did when she left, I’m shocked she has a 3 year old yet she still looks this fine! She walks in with a bottle of red and 2 glasses then pours for the both of us.

“So, what do you want to know?”

She asks stretching, I take a sip of the wine and pat on my lap she looks at me confused

“You’ve been standing most of the day. Bring your feet”

I offer and she looks at me still stunned but she places her feet on my lap

“Thank you”

She say, I place the wine on the table and start massaging her feet. Force of habit I guess. I myself don’t know why I’m doing this

“So?”

She says

“Everything Mihlali. Why you left and never looked back? Why you didn’t think to tell me about our son Mihlali? Why you went about the way you went with things?”

she takes a sip of her wine before responding

“Honestly? I was scared”

She says and I frown confused

“Scared of what Mihlali? You the one that left me. You ended things with me Mihlali not the other way around”

.

.

-MIHLALIKAZI MBANA

I knew we would have to have this conversation, I just didn’t think it would be today. Watching him massage my feet so gently feels so good, Bandile always was a

gentleman but I don’t know why he’s being so kind to me.

“I understand that I hurt you Bandile really bad with what I did. At this point nothing I say will make you feel any better. It won’t be good enough”

I say and he stops massaging me

“I need real answers Mihlali, if I was so angry then I wouldn’t be here right now”

He says

“Bandile when I left, I loved you. I never stopped just because I was miles away from you. I didn’t even know I was pregnant when I left until late and I swear when I found out you were the first person I wanted to tell but I didn’t tell you. I didn’t tell you because I was scared that you’d think I’m trying to trap you with a baby or something. I was scared that maybe you had moved on already and I was only going to ruin things between you and your new girlfriend at the time. I’m sorry I kept you away from your son this long, I didn’t know how you would take having a child considering we never spoke of having a family so I just assumed you didn’t want

children and that bringing him here or telling you about him you would reject him or something. I ju..st I don’t know Bandile. A lot was going on in my mind at the time and I felt it best to keep the pregnancy to myself and to keep Jay to myself”

I explain hoping my explanation makes some kind of sense, he gulps down the wine and pours another glass

“Mihlali I loved you, I would have never rejected you because of our son. You’ve seen me with my brother’s kids and you know how much I adore them. How could you think such of me?”

I shrug at his accusatory tone

“Look, I cannot change the past. I cannot undo what I did. You’ve already missed out on a lot in his life and at this point I would really like to give you back the time you lost. But that is only if you want a relationship with him. I don’t want a man that won’t be fully present for my son”

I say and he frowns

“I would never not be there for my son Mihlali. We’ll co-parent if that’s what you want. I just want a relationship with my son that’s all”

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