Life is Just Not Kind

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She goes silent, I don’t know whether to continue or what

“I watched my parents be killed in front of me. It was traumatic and I needed the therapy but your father took advantage of my trauma, he took advantage of me and it hurt. My first time there was nice, he made me feel comfortable to talk to him about anything but being a kid I was closed off. Slowly I began to open up to him because he seemed trustworthy. Months went by and he suddenly changed. I didn’t understand what was going on but he changed and started touching me in weird uncomfortable places”

I say and then take a deep breath and let it out. I’ve never opened up about this to anyone before and I honestly don’t know what the hell it is about Mihlali that compels me to open up to her. Akhona’s mother only knows that I have a dark past that I never wanted to talk about and she respected that at all costs but here I am sharing my dark experience with someone I only met 2 weeks back. Is that normal?

“It’s ok if you don’t want to talk about it. I shouldn’t have pried”

She says, I kiss her hair

“He would give me a handjob until I cum, he wouldn’t stop until I have atleast came 3 times in a row. As time went by things only got worse, he made me give him handjobs and blowjobs over time. At some point I wanted to kill myself, I wanted to kill him. To make him pay for what he had done to me. He made me feel dirty, I knew that all what he was doing was wrong but my fear was that it would always be his word against mine and who would believe a child? I lost my parents after all, I’m a broken damaged kid so who the hell would believe a word I say huh? Nobody because in this life you are on your own. I had to grow up before time, learn things before time. When he was found out and arrested we got the help we needed but it didn’t change the anger I had in me, the hunger to avenge myself. The hatred I had for him never surpassed just because I got help. I hated that he died before I could make him suffer and then I found out that he had a family. A wife and a daughter”

I say calmly, I always thank God for Lwando Mbana and the training I received else I wouldn’t be where I am today.

“When I got out of the institution I taught myself how to hack and when I was 15 I needed to make my mark, I needed recognition and I knew that the only way I could get Lwando Mbana’s recognition was if I pulled off something big and so I hacked into his system and left my mark. Your grandfather didn’t take kindly to threats and his system was the most protected there ever was so hacking it definitely took me months to hack into. He

recognised my talent and did his research on me and took in under his wing. He had me train under Click, the $prits in the USA. I learnt everything I needed and when I was back he took me in and showed me all the ropes, tricks and trades to survive and today here I am”

She inhales and lets it out

“My grandfather could always make people talk, if he knew your intentions then why did he continue to train you?”

She asks

“You and your mother were always protected. I could only get to your grandparents, Lunga’s parents”

I say and she sits up full speed

“You killed my grandparents? They didn’t do anything to you”

she says, I nod

“A parent pays for the sins of their child”

I say coldly

“You don’t regret what you did?”

She asks and I shrug

“Why should i?”

I ask with a raised eyebrow, she clasps her mouth

“What about my mother and I?”

She asks

“I already told you. Your mother and your family are safe, you protected and Lwando made sure of it”

I say and she frowns


She asks

“You think I’m the only one that wanted to avenge himself? Mihlali your father hurt a lot of people. Your grandfather and I had to clean up the mess he made. You have enemies everywhere Mihlali because of your father. You did well by changing your surname”

I say and she can’t hide her shock

“You need time to process everything so I’ll leave”

I say getting up, she sits still confused or trying to process everything I just told her

“I’m sorry if I scared you but everything I just told you is the honest truth. I have no intention of hurting you or your family Mihlali and if you want me to stay away from you then just say the word and I will stay away from you”

I say as I finish getting dressed. I walk over to her and kiss her forehead

“Bye Mihlalikazi”

I say and walk out. On the way I call Chip


He answers

“Retrieve everything you removed from that girls laptops”

I say

“Are you sure boss?”

He asks

“I’m certain. Let them dig and find out everything”

I say

“Eish boss are you sure you want to do this? What’s so special about this Mihlali?”

He asks and I shrug

“I don’t pay you to ask me questions. Do as I tell you”

I say and he takes a deep breath and lets it out

“Sure thing boss”




What is the most sane way to react to such news huh? I watch him leave, I don’t think I have ever had anyone

open up like that to me before without their pulse increasing or whatsoever and that makes it hard to believe him. I get up and drag myself to shower then get dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt with sliders then make my way downstairs. It’s a mess, I call a cleaning company and ask them to come and clean up. I’m way too tired to do anything. I clean the kitchen at least so that I can make something to eat.


I’m startled by a female voice, I look behind me and see Yoza

“Hey you. You look amazing”

I say and she blushes

“thank you. Happy belated birthday honey”

She says and we share a hug as I thank her, we break it

“So you and Biko are that serious?”

I ask and she blushes

“No. he’s respecting my wishes”

She says and I giggle

“I hear you. Who else slept here? I was too sloshed”

She chuckles

“Yeah you were hey, Bandile left right after you and Khaya took off”

She says

“Anyway your sisters are cleaning the mess out back I think and your brother is getting dressed. I can’t stay, I have to get to work”

She says

“That’s ok hone, we’ll catch up some other time”

I say then head out back to check on the twins and they really picking up alcohol bottles on the floor

“You guys don’t have to, I called a cleaning crew”

I say standing by the door

“Morning to you too. I did not know you drank like that”

Mange says and I roll my eyes

“I am a grown woman thank you very much”

I say proudly and they both laugh and walk over to me

“Ise can I talk to you alone”

I say as I make way for them to walk inside the house. Ise remains outside and we walk to sit on the couch in the patio

“Before Ima walked in yesterday you were telling me about what you managed to get on Khaya”

I say

“Oh yeah, I did get a lot on him and then later everything had disappeared from my laptops. It doesn’t make any sense”

She says, I sigh

“Khaya must have done something”

I say and she shrugs

“I’ll keep looking sis”

She says

“Don’t worry about it mntase. This morning he told me what I am assuming to be everything”

I say and she nods

“He’s a dangerous person Hlali”

She warns and I nod

“I know, he told me”

I tell her

“And you still with him?”

She asks and I shrug

“Honestly I don’t know. He told me he would give me time to process everything. I think what scares me is that he’s not ashamed for the things he’s done”

I say and she sighs

“Grandpa did train him after all. You and I both know that grandpa only ever showed kindness and love towards family. Anyone outside was literally just an outsider”

She says and I nod and laugh, Lwando Mbana was mean AF.

“So what happens now?”

She asks and I shrug

“Honestly I don’t know. I really don’t know”

I say honestly. We get up and head back inside, just then we meet the people that are here to clean with Mange showing them around. We make our way to make breakfast. It’s just me and siblings left. When we done we go and eat outside on the patio in front of the pool. The back yard looks new and clean. I must admit hanging out with my siblings after so long feels amazing. Reconnecting and just bonding and laughing together is what gives me life right now.

“Would you believe Jay came back Monday with money from school?”

I say laughing and they all burst out


Biko asks and I shrug

“He said some girl gave him money and told him that he was her boyfriend”

I narrate and they all laugh

“So he has a girlfriend? Damn!”

Mange says

“And I’m 15 years old and still don’t have a boyfriend”

She adds and we all laugh

“With you it’s by choice and with Jay he wasn’t given much of a choice”

I correct and they laugh “He takes after his uncle” Biko says proudly and I laugh

“he needs to stop spending so much time with you, you going to make my baby cocky like you”

I say and they laugh

“Speaking of which, what’s the story with you and Yonela?”

I ask

“Hopefully you can get him to talk because we asked and he flatly told us it wasn’t any of our business”

Ima says

“I wanna ask her to marry me but I’m scared she’ll say no”

I say

“Wait! Is Bikokuhle Lerato Mtwa actually afraid of rejection?”

Ise says sarcastically with a gasp holding her chest, we all laugh

“After Pamela, yes I am actually” He says honestly

“Sorry Bhuti but Yoza is not that bitch. She would never do you like she did”

I say patting his knee

“Thanks sis but I’ll wait a little longer than a month and we’ll see where we at. What’s the deal with you?”

He asks, I raise an eyebrow

“You and Bandile and that Khaya dude”

He asks and I shrug

“Khaya was a fuckbuddy and now I don’t know where we stand. As for Bandile, he and I share a child”

I say

“Is that really all?”

Ima asks and I shrug

“We kissed in the kitchen”

I say


“Jay’s party”

I say

“I wish I had guys to choose from”

Ima says and we all laugh

“You still too young to date, both of you”

Biko says faking a stern voice

“Hlali whatever you do, remember what happened to mom. Sometimes rather the devil you know than the one you don’t”

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