Life is Just Not Kind

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“Do you have to go?”

He asks hugging me from behind

“yes I have to, this wedding is not going to plan itself”

I say and he kisses my neck making me giggle


I say but he doesn’t stop

“But it’s Saturday and I miss my fiancé”

His voice vibrates next to my ear

“I know and I miss you too but I have to go if we getting married this June”

I say and he chuckles

“Fine, you win for now”

He says and I chuckle

“I know”

I say proudly and he kisses my neck again. Ever since the engagement I only work during the week and have weekends off

“I’ll drive you then”

He offers letting go of me

“I’d love that”

I say and then finish tying up my braids

“You look good Sthandwa sam”

He says

“Thank you Babe”

I say and then he wears his shoes while I clean up where I was fixing myself. I’ve learnt to apply make up over these past few months with the help of youtube videos but I’m still not on that Mihlali_N level yet. Just enough to look cute.


He asks and I nod getting up, we head out together to the car, he opens the car door for me and then go to his side.

“You’ll call me when you guys are done right?”

He says as he drives us off

“Yeah I will”

I say

“who is this wedding planner you guys are meeting?”

He asks

“Lara recommended her, he helped plan her wedding and apparently he’s the best in the game. His name is Zonke”

I say

“you’ll tell me what you need me to do”

He says and I nod

“Obviously, I’m not going to plan our wedding alone idiot”

He chuckles

“I’ll hang out with the guys, we’ll watch the game and drink”

“if they coming over then ya’ll better make sure the house is clean when I get home”

I say and he chuckles

“Yes Ma’am! We’ll clean up before you come home” he parks outside the restaurant

“I’ll see you later?”

He says and I lean in to kiss his cheek

“bye honey”

I say and then get off and go inside, Mihlali and Lara are helping me plan my wedding with the planner. I greet everyone and then sit down

“You look amazing”

Zonke says and I thank him

“It’s nice to finally meet you. So what kind of wedding would you like? This is a file I put together with different kinds of ideas for all the weddings I’ve done”

He says handing me a file, I page through it

“Have you and Biko even spoke about what kind of wedding you want?”

Hlali asks and I shake my head no

“Not quite but we want the wedding held at your grandfather’s house”

I say

“That’s a nice place for the wedding, the yard is nice and huge”

Lara says and I nod

“Where is this house that you guys are speaking about?”

Zonke asks

“Lwando Mbana’s house”

Mihlali responds

“That is a really beautiful house and the yard is amazingly huge. It would be a beautiful place to get married in. Wait, you marrying Lwando Mbana’s grandson? How have your engagement not made it to the news?”

he asks and I shrug

“Because we not famous”

I say and Zonke chuckles

“Sweetheart Bikokuhle is a catch! Of cause people want to know your business. You do know that as soon as people find out the press will hound you”

He points out and I shake my head no

“I don’t want my wedding making it to the news, I want something small and intimate. Something private. I don’t know many people and my family is small and so will be the guest list”

I say and he gasps in shock

“The wedding of the century without the press? Miss Ngesi why would you do that?”

He asks

“Because I love my life private and would like to keep it that way”

I say

“I understand that sweetheart but”

I sigh before he even finishes his sentence

“Zonke honey this is Yoza’s wedding and what she wants should go”

Mihlali cuts in

“I understand that and we will make it how you want it” He says and I nod

“Thank you. We don’t want over a 100 guests, we’ll both write a list of the people we would like to invite and send it to you”

I say

“I’m assuming you guys want something simple and class?”

He asks

“yes something simple and classy, shouldn’t be too simple though. I’ll have to discuss the colours with my husband and then get back to you”

I say and he nods, we discuss everything else with Hlali and Lara adding their opinions, when we done Zonke leaves.

“he is too much”

I say as soon as he is gone and they laugh

“trust me I know hey but he is the best in the game and he will make sure that your wedding is everything you want it to be”

Lara says and I nod

“I just don’t want my wedding to be a circus, heck I don’t want any kind of paparazzi at my wedding. I just

want something small and intimate with the love of my life”

I say and they giggle

“that’s so cute”

Lara says, Hlali takes my hand

“this is your wedding and you will have it how you want it. We’ll go over the wedding file and choose everything that you want”




“Are you certain about this Mr Tshawe?”

I’m on a videocall with my lawyer Siviwe Mtshali

“Yes I am”

I say

“I’ll draw up the contract and have it sent to Miss Mbana’s office”

He says

“Send it over to my house instead”

I tell him

“Of cause sir”

He says and then we end the call. I walk out of the study and go find Jay


He says as soon as he see me

“Hey buddy, how are you?”

I say picking him up

“I’m hungry”

He says rubbing his eyes

“Hungry or sleepy?”

I ask him and he yawns

“hungry and tired”

He says

“Where’s nana?”

I ask him, that’s what he calls his nanny

“She’s in the room”

He says

“Why didn’t you go to her?”

I ask him

“I wanted you to make me something to eat”

He says pouting, I chuckle and head to the kitchen with him in my arms and place him on the counter

“So what do you want to eat?”

I ask him

“I want chips”

He says and I chuckle

“Which chips? Mommy will be mad if I give you junk”

I say and he smiles, he unlocks my phone and presses it. He knows how to unlock it and play games, I never thought I’d have games on my phone until Jay, mind you this person has a tab to play all these games of his


I call out and he looks up with a smile

“I’m making us bread and eggs”

I say and he nods. I open the fridge and take out the things I’m going to use then switch on the stove, His nanny walks in

“Sir can I help you?”

She asks

“I’m making Jay something to eat”

I say

“his food is in the microwave and yours is in the oven sir”

She says

“Thank you”

I say and take out my food from the oven

“Miss Mbana had food delivered while you were on the phone earlier”

She says and I smile alone thinking about my girlfriend. She takes out Jay’s plate and places it next to him. It’s not much, it’s burgers and fries

“Daddy Lara is calling”

He says handing me the phone, I walk over to him and take it then answer it

“Lara hey”

I say

“hi Bandile, Mihlali fainted and we rushed her to the hospital”

She says speaking fast “Which hospital? Is she ok?”

I ask unable to help the panic in me. We went to the gynae that day and we found out that she wasn’t pregnant and that we should maybe come back after a month to check and she told me she had went and she wasn’t pregnant but she did ask the doctor to put her contraceptives

Lara tells me the hospital name, I rush out to my car and drive to the hospital Yonela works in which is close to one of my hotels. I park in the parking lot and then go inside and find Lara and Yoza pacing in the reception area

“Lara, Yonela. Where is she? How is she?”

I ask

“We don’t know yet, we waiting for the doctor”

Yoza says

“What exactly happened?”

I ask

“We don’t know, we were getting up ready to leave when she just swayed and fell”

Lara says and just then a doctor shows up and Yoza meets him halfway

“Is this her doctor?”

I ask Yoza nods

“I’m assuming you her boyfriend?”

He says and I nod

“How is she? What happened to her?”

I ask

“At this moment I can’t really tell, we’ve sent her results to the lab and they should be back in a while. For now we suspect dehydration or she’s tired”

The doctor responds

“What about pregnancy”

Yoza asks



“You sure about this?”

Baya asks

“Yep, I can’t wait to make Yoza my wife”

I say as we sit in the lounge watching the game and drinking beer

“I’m proud of you man”

Phiko says

“You’ve grown in a way I never thought you would”

Dan adds and we all laugh

“I met the right one and I couldn’t be happier”

I say honestly and smiling at the thought of my fiancé

“So what kind of wedding do you guys want? Have you guys even started planning the wedding?”

Phiko asks

“She went to meet the planner together with Lara and Mihlali so I’ll hear all about it later”

I say

“Isn’t that something you should be doing with her? I mean with my wife I had to be involved in everything that was related to the wedding”

Dan says

“Men don’t do that, you white so you allowed”

Baya says

“If my wife wants me involved then I’ll be involved. At the end of the day it’s our wedding and not just hers”

I say

“I’m surprised the engagement hasn’t made it to the papers”

Phiko says

“I’m paying a lot of money to keep it under the wraps hey. Yoza wants to keep her life as quiet as it is without being hounded by the press and what not”

I say

“yeah but you are Bikokuhle Mtwa, son or Bantu and Sinokuhle Mtwa so obviously people want to know who you marrying”

I sigh at Baya’s statement

“be ask it may, people don’t need to know her”

Dan says and I nod

“We’ve kept our relationship private for so long and she wants us to keep it that private still and I’m respecting her wishes.”

I say

“that’s great. And how are you handling the media?”

Dan asks

“Most media companies are under the Mbana payroll and the Tshawe payroll so for now they print what I want them to print”

I say proudly

“Lucky you rich people with rich people problems”

We all laugh at Dan’s statement

“And when are you planning on announcing you taken?”

Baya asks and I shrug

“When my fiancé wants me to announce it”




I wake up and look around, I’m on a hospital bed. Bandile walks in, I smile and he returns a weaker smile

“Hey you”

He says

“Hi baby”

I say, he walks in and sits beside me “What happened?”

He asks and I shrug

“I don’t know. One minute I’m fine and the next I’m here”

He chuckles

“We waiting for your test results and then we’ll know what happened”

He says

“Don’t look so glum, I’m fine” I assure him

“I know you fine, I just don’t like seeing my loved ones on a hospital bed”

I take his hand into mine

“Hopefully the next time I am here I’ll be giving birth” He chuckles

“So now you want a baby?”

He asks and I shake my head no

“No but in future we’ll have many more”

He says and just then a doctor walks in

“Miss Mbana”

He says and I smile

“That’s me. What’s wrong with me?”

I ask

“We waiting for you results to come back and we’ll know for sure what happened. Do you have any allergies I should know about?”

he asks

“Lilies and Penicillin”

I say and he writes them down

“When was the last time you went on your periods?”

He asks and I laugh

“last week”

I say and he writes it down

“I’d like for you to pee in the cup just so we certain”

He says and I laugh

“I am not pregnant, I’m on contraceptives”

I say defensively

“things happen Miss Mbana”

He says and I laugh getting off the bed

“If it will help then fine”

He hands me the cup and I walk to the bathroom to pee in the cup then close it, I wash my hands and then walk out with it

“here you go”

I say and he puts it into a paper bag

“I will be back with your results in a few minutes, you can wait here or in the waiting room”

He says

“we’ll wait here thank you doc”

I say and then he walks out

“So what happens if you pregnant?”

He asks and I shrug

“It can’t be Bandile”

I say ruling it out dismissively

“I’m only asking what if that’s all”

He says

“we’ll see”

I say

“What are you thinking off?”

He asks and I shrug

“That I made a promise to myself that the next time I fall pregnant I’d have a ring on my finger”

I say and he kisses my hand

“already Jay is out of wedlock, I don’t want to be one of those women that’s all”

I say and he nods

“Can I confess something”

He says playing with my hands


I say

“Promise you won’t get mad”

He says and I chuckle

“when people say that best believe they about to tell you something that will piss you off. Talk Tshawe”

I say and he lets out a breath I didn’t realise he was holding in

“On Christmas I never bought the morning after, I gave you a vitamin pill”




You know that crazy psychotic laugh women do when they pissed? That kind where you know they not laughing cause they know what you just said is funny but that’s them giving you a chance to run before they kill you. During the years Mihlali and I have been together I barely ever piss her off on purpose and she’s not someone that’s easily pissed, hence I’ll never get used to her pissed. I am fortunate enough for the doctor walking in right now

“Mr Tshawe and Miss Mbana”

He says

“Yes doctor”

She says

“Well I have your results here and you are 5 weeks pregnant”

He says

“I… uhm thank you doc”

I say


He says

“What are my options for not wanting to keep the child?”

Mihlali asks shocking the shiit out of me

“Uhhmm… Since it’s still early there’s the pill and then there’s the suction”

He says

“Thank you”

she says and gets off the bed and walks out leaving me with the doctor

“Thank you again doc”

I say

“Here is a prescription of the meds she will need to get should you 2 decide to keep the baby”

He says handing me a sealed letter “Thank you”

I say and then leave, I find Mihlali in the reception with her friends

“friend please drive us to the restaurant I need to fetch my car”

she says to Lara, Lara gives me a questioning look and I shrug my shoulders

“Hlali here is your prescription letter”

I say and she takes it

“Thank you”

Yoza remains behind

“Arent you leaving?”

I ask her and she shakes her head

“there’s some things I need to get at the office, Biko will be picking me up”

She says

“ok cool then. How are the wedding plans coming along?”

She giggles

“pretty stressful, my planner wants something huge since I’m marrying into the Mbana/Mtwa family and I want something small and intimate”

She says and I chuckle

“I just enjoy my quiet invisible life you know? I’m not a spotlight person and if people knew I was seeing Biko then I wouldn’t have my privacy anymore”

She says and I nod

“I know the feeling her but you’ll be fine”

I say and she smiles and nods

“hopefully. Everything ok?”

She asks and I shrug

“I messed up and I need to fix things”

I say and she chuckles

“better get to the fixing”

She says and I laugh, we talk a little more before saying our goodbyes to each other. I get into my car and drive home. When I get home the house is quiet and Mihlali’s car is not here yet which only worries me.

“Mr Tshawe is everything ok? When you left you were in such a rush”

Jays nanny says walking into the room

“Mihlali was in hospital but now she’s fine, how’s Jay?”

I ask

“he’s sleeping, he did struggle a bit to sleep with the way you left. He actually ran after you and cried when he saw you drive out. He was pretty upset”

She says, I sigh

“did he eat?”

I ask and she shakes her head no

“He cried himself to sleep”

She says

“thank you, I’ll go and check on him”

I say and then go upstairs to Jay’s room and find him sleeping peacefully. His hair has grown from since his small accident and the scar on the back of his head is barely there unless you shave off his hair offwhich he

doesn’t want his hair cut off. I sit on the edge of the bed and watch him sleeping. He’s so cute. I’m going out of my mind thinking about Mihlali and where she is, she should have been home by now. I head out to the lounge and Jay’s nanny hands me the contract, I read through it to try and get my mind of Mihlali possibly aborting our child, I don’t think I would recover from that, what sucks is that I can’t even call her because she won’t answer my calls. I’m going out of my mind sitting and then pacing around the lounge with hopes the door will swing open any minute from now but nothing. After an hour and 30 minutes I hear the sounds of Mihlali’s shoes in the corridor and walk out of Jay’s room. She doesn’t even look at me as she walks to our bedroom

“Where were you?”

I ask walking in behind her

“I went to terminate”

She says stripping out of her clothes, I take a deep breath and let it out


I say calmly

“What Bandile?”

She says turning to me

“What is it?”

I sigh

“Please tell me you joking”

I plead, she raises an eyebrow

“it sucks doesn’t it? Knowing that I went and did something like that behind your back”

She says and walks to the bathroom, I follow her

“Mihlali why would you abort our child?”

I ask

“Why would you trick me Bandile?”

She yells

“It’s not like you fell pregnant in December”

I say

“That’s besides the point Bandile! The point is that you lied to me, you tricked me for your own benefit!”

She says getting in under the hot steaming water, I’m about to get it when I remember everything of mine is in my pockets. I take off my things and then get in the shower

“I understand I did you wrong but aborting our child Mihlali?”

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