Life is Just Not Kind

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With Kitten’s passing, Yoza thought it would be a better idea to just get married in September once and for all. We couldn’t have a celebration straight after the funeral, it wouldn’t make any sense and the family agreed to it. Mom didn’t take it so well losing her mother, she was the one to check on her that morning and found her pulse not there so she was pretty traumatised by what happened and who could blame her? Dad that day was in a no service area but he made sure to come home straight after hearing the news to be there for his family and everyone of us.

It’s been four months since Kitten’s death, it’s September and next week Yoza and I tie the knot. I won’t lie I am excited, I can’t wait to make this amazing woman my wife. I’m meeting her for the final cake tasting during lunch at the cake store. I park outside and then walk into the store

“Mr Mtwa”

The shop assistant greets as I walk in

“Hi, is my wife here already?”

She giggles

“Not yet sir”

She says

“You can come and wait this side so long”

She says and I tell her to lead the way, I dial Yoza’s number and it rings for a while

“Sthandwa sam”

I say

“Hi Baby, I know I’m late”

She says and I cut her off

“What happened?”

I ask

“I have to be in the theatre in 10 minutes, I won’t be able to make it Sthandwa sam. Please do this without me and I promise I will make it up to you”

She says and I sigh

“ay ok”

I say

“I know babe, I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you later I promise”

She says and I can’t even argue because this woman is a doctor and these things happen, I should be used to it by now I guess. We getting married on the day we met in last year.

“Bye babe and good luck”

I say

“Thank you Sthandwa sam”

She says and we cut the call

“Is everything ok?”

I’m startled by the shop assistant, I turn around

“My wife won’t be able to make it today but I’m here”

I say

“We can just go ahead”

I say and she heads out back and comes back with the cake we requested. My phone beeps and it’s a picture of the cake Yoza wanted. I prefer Red velvet and she likes chocolate cake so we opted for both cakes, each layer will be a different flavour. It’s a 4-tier cake. We finally decided on the colours and everything else.

“Well here is the red velvet and here is the chocolate” she says placing muffins in front of me

“Miss Ngesi requested I make muffins for the tasting and I have a few more out back for you to take along with you”

she says as I take a bite of the chocolate, it’s perfect

“This is perfect”

I say and she smiles

“I’m glad you like it, I’ll bring in the cake”

She says and then goes out back and then comes back with the cake and it’s not done or rather not what the picture looks like

“It’s not done yet but I can promise you that by next week Saturday it will be as it is in the pictures. All that’s left on it is the decoration”

She says

“I don’t think she will be happy to know that it’s not finish”

I say and she nods

“I understand that sir and I assure you that it will be as it is in the picture. You can come back and check it this Friday”

She says and I nod

“May I take a picture of it?”

She nods, I take out my phone and take a picture of the cake and send it to my wife. I know she won’t see it anytime soon until after her surgery.

“Thank you”

I say

“I’ll wrap these up for you. Miss Ngesi asked that I make the first tier fruit cake, she mentioned something about tradition”

She says and I chuckle

“I know, she told me about it.”

I say and she nods and walks out to the back, there’s a tradition about keeping the first tier of the cake for until you and your partner have your first child together and Yoza wanted us to go about this whole things as traditional as possible and I respect her for it.




Moving forward is never easy but we go on because we have to. Losing Kitten was not easy on the whole family but we had to go and if there is one thing I have learnt is that life is short and nothing is promised. It’s saddening that we have to lose people in order to appreciate those we have and I personally have learnt to appreciate the father of my children. I am now 7 months pregnant and I cannot wait to give birth, this pregnancy has been an amazing easy journey unlike the one I had with Jay. I’m 7 months and still working, everything is way too smooth and I won’t lie I am very grateful, with Jay I don’t know how I survived the whole 9 months. I am happy to say that Lara gave birth to twins, a girl and a boy. She named them Adriane(boy) and Amara(girl) and they are the most cutest beings ever, it’s weird because her son is more troublesome than her daughter but they are both adorable kids and I love them. Jay also loves

them as much and he always wants to hold them every time we visit Lara, he probably thinks they are dolls that one.

“Miss Mbana you have a visitor”

My P.A says peeking at the door

“Who is it?”

I ask and she shrugs

“He refused to say but I can guarantee that you will want to see him”

She says with a smile, I roll my eyes because Bandile is out of town and will be back this weekend so it cannot possibly be him.

“Let him in”

I say and to my surprise it is Bandile. I get up off and run to him, the bed has been so cold without him. I’ve been sleeping with Jay in his absence, he’s been gone for a week, today it’s Wednesday. I really didn’t expect him here today

“What are you doing here?”

I ask hugging him tightly clinging onto him as if he’ll leave again. He chuckles

“Got done with business early” He says and but I still don’t budge

“Are you crying?”

He asks pulling me away from him but I don’t respond and just sob, he laughs

“Glad to know you guys missed me”

he says and pulls me to the couch putting the food on the table, I sit ontop of him

“I missed you. I’ve been sleeping with Jay since the day you left”

I say and he chuckles

“My poor son, traumatising him with this big tummy. You sure you not carrying twins?”

He jokes and I slap him but not hard enough, he laughs

“I’m joking”

He says cupping my face

“It’s not funny”

I say and he chuckles

“Yeah the fact that you just slapped me right now says it all. I won’t ever joke like that again”

He assures me

“Lets eat and you can tell me everything I missed”

He says placing me on the couch

“Aren’t I heavy?”

I ask and he shrugs

“You didn’t gain much either than the big tummy”

He says and I shoot him a look

“honestly you not that heavy, I guess the exercise makes up for it”

He explains and I don’t respond “Hello my angel”

He says kissing my tummy and baby talking to it, he/she starts kicking like crazy

“Somebody is happy to hear daddy’s voice”

He says all excited kissing my tummy and baby talking to his son/daughter. We don’t know the gender yet but Bandile is hoping for a girl and I hoping for another son. I’d really like another version of my son

“Ok enough, I want to eat now” I say and he laughs “Mommy is jealous”

He says and places one final kiss before serving me the food. We eat over light conversation

“So I have been thinking”

I start off

“Should I be worried?”

He asks and I shrug

“Not quite. This is about me actually”

I say and he raises an eyebrow giving me his undivided attention

“I’ve already spoken to mom and I was thinking of publishing a book about my parents, it’s not a book trying to explain his actions but more of a book explaining my mother’s side of the story and how she did not know what was going on”

I say and he frowns

“Are you sure you want to do that? Why all of a sudden anyway?”

He asks and I shrug

“I don’t know. I guess it’s something that has been on my mind and now it’s time I put it out there. Khaya was one of my father’s victims, when my grandfather recruited him he wanted revenge for what my father did to him and the thought of other people out there trying to avenge themselves through my family scares me”

I say

“But publishing such a book would only put a target on your back and our children’s backs Mihlali. I don’t think it’s a good idea to publish such a book, what your mother suffered in the hands of your father and what every other

person did should stay buried. Publishing the story will only ruin everything”




After surgery I head to my office and I have a message from my husband, it’s a picture of our wedding cake and it’s not what I had asked for. I dial his number

“Sthandwa sam I’m in a meeting, can I call you later”

He says and drops the call. This is what sucks about our relationship is that we only have enough time for each other on weekends but with the wedding preps we barely have enough time to ourselves. Both our jobs are as demanding, maybe mine more than his because the minute I think i’m free I get a call that I need to rush to the hospital in the middle of the night. It’s strenuous I won’t lie but we coping I guess. I get a call from my mother


I answer

“Hi nana, are you busy?”

She asks

“No mom we can talk”

I say

“Ok that’s good. When are you taking your leave?”

She asks

“Friday is my last day this week mom why?” I ask

“Because there’s still so much to do here at home with Amabhaso this Saturday”

she says, I sigh

“Zonke has it covered nje Mama”

I say

“Ha.a kaloku Ntombi that’s not how we do things. I understand that you have a planner but somethings need you in person to oversee them”

She says

“Mah Zonke sends me everything to oversee”

I assure her, someone knocks on my door

“Mom I have to go, a patient just walked in”

I say to her

“Ok ke Yoza, come home tonight so that we can plan everything accordingly”

She says, Ntando walks in and sits down opposite me “Bye Mah, I’ll see you later”

I say and then drop the call

“Ntando hi, I didn’t know you were coming today”

I say and she chuckles

“It’s Wednesday, I said we would meet Wednesday”

She says and I hit my head

“I totally forgot”

I say and she chuckles

“It’s ok, your job and the wedding are stressful enough”

She says and I smile

“Here is the picture of the house and renovations being made”

She says handing me a file

“How long is going to take to finish everything? My wedding is next week”

I say

“As you can see it Dr Ngesi it’s almost done, bye next week you’ll be able to move in”

She assures me

“Are you certain Ntando? My mother doesn’t know about this and I want to have my traditional wedding in this yard”

I say

“Dr Ngesi I promise you it will all be done by next week. It’s a beautiful thing what you are doing for your mother”

She says and I smile

“Thank you, if not me then who right?”

I say and she smiles closing the file

“I’m sorry it took this long to fix it up”

She says

“It doesn’t matter anymore. I am paying a lot of money for this Ntando, it better be what I want it to be”

We end the meeting and I go to see my mother. As we are sitting I get a call from Ntando telling me that a pipe had burst


I ask

“We don’t know Dr Ngesi, we got a call from the neighbors saying that the was water coming out of the house”

She says, I drop the call

“Everything ok?”

She asks

“Yeah, I have to go Mah but I promise I will sleep home tomorrow and the rest of the week until the wedding. I need to call Biko”

I say getting up going to my room. He answers immediately

“Sthandwa sam”

He says

“Can you please come and fetch me, I’m at my mom’s place”

I say

“Everything ok Sthandwa sam?”

He asks

“No, we’ll talk about it when you get here”

I say

“Ok, I’m on my way”

He says and then we end the call

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