Life is Just Not Kind

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Growing up a mama’s girl, everytime something happens the first person you want to tell is your mother but when you get married I guess that changes and you are forced to turn to you husband for these news.

“You are pregnant”

The words echo as I try so very hard to contrate on work. I can’t say I’m excited I won’t lie but I’m also not bummed out about it. I wonder how my husband is going to feel about this. First time breaking my virginity and I fall pregnant right away… Wow! I guess that’s what happens when you don’t use a condom and your husband purposely cums inside of you.

“Doc are you ok?”

I’m startled by Dr Matu, she’s the head doctor and I report to her. I don’t even know when she came into my office

“I knocked but you didn’t answer”

She says, it’s too late to even hide the sonogram in my hand

“I… wow, congratulations”

She says and I fake a smile with a heavy sigh

“What’s wrong?”

She asks

“I don’t know how I feel about being pregnant. I mean I haven’t even been here for long, it’s only been a year and already I am pregnant”

I say and she places her hand over mine. The way I’m so distracted I didn’t even notice her take a seat

“Children are a blessing no matter the time they come at. You’re an amazing doctor Yonela and those kids love you and I know for a fact that you are going to make an amazing mother. Talk to your husband and find a way forward, in fact take a day off”

She says

“Doc i…”

she shakes her head no

“We will manage without you, take a day off and come back tomorrow with a clear headspace”

She says and I smile

“Thank you doc”

I say and she gets up

“See you tomorrow morning kid”

She says and walks out leaving me packing my things. I call my husband

“Lerato Laka”

I say

“Hey Sthandwa sam, how are you?”

He says

“I’m good, are you home?”

I ask

“No, I went to get a couple of things in the office. What’s up?”

He asks

“Can you pass by and fetch me on your way home?”

I say, yes I still don’t have a car and my husband offered to get me one but I flatly rejected it. I know it seems stupid but it’s so nice to interact with people in the morning or in the afternoon rather than being all by yourself in the car or with your husband only catching up. I mean I enjoy every minute I spend with Biko but sometimes it’s nice to sit and interact with strangers and taxi gossip is funny if you ask me and the noise and the drama that comes with riding a taxi. My husband doesn’t understand it, he grew up with a silver spoon in his mouth, he had a driver to take him to and from school, he’s never been on a taxi before and the one time he could actually experience the life of a taxi which would have been in varsity he got a car so nope, never in his life has he been on a taxi or ever had that experience. Today is one of those days I wish I could sit in a taxi

surrounded by strangers and just forget my life for a few minutes

“On second thought never mind. I’ll meet you at home”

I say

“Is everything ok?”

He asks with so much concern

“Everything is fine, we’ll talk at home”

I say

“Yonela I’m on my way coming to fetch you”

He says and I sigh

“Sthandwa sam it’s ok really, I’ll meet you at home. I promise you everything is fine”

I say and he lets out a sigh

“Please don’t shut me out”

He says in a tone that breaks my heart

“I’d never shut you out. U-Lerato Laka, my forever times infinity. I could never shut you out”

I say with so much promise in my words because that is how much I love this man

“I’ll call you when I get to the hospital”

He says, I knew he wouldn’t drop it. I wait for him by trying to keep myself busy with work. After what seems like 45 minutes I get a call from him telling me he’s in the front parking lot. I take my bags and head out, when I get to the reception to sign out I see Lara

“Hey you what are you doing here?” I ask her after we share a brief hug

“I brought Hlali here, she started having contractions and so we brought her here”

She says





She says opening the back seat passenger door

“Sthandwa sam. How are you?”

I respond

“I’m fine thanks and how are you? Lara says they brought it Hlali”

she says and I turn off the engine “She’s giving birth?” I ask and she nods

“Well I don’t know, Lara mentioned she had contractions”

She says, I remove the safety belt and get off “Lets go inside”

I say and then walk over to her side then we close the door and lock the car and walk inside the hospital

“So what did you want to talk about?”

I ask and she shrugs

“I never said I wanted to talk about anything”

She says trying to very hard to not look at me

“Yonela I know you. Talk to me”

I say stopping in our tracks and turning o face her, she looks up at me with her beautiful eyes

“We can talk about it when we get home Rato I promise”

She says

“Are you sure?”

I ask and she nods

“I’m certain”

She says and we head inside

“Yoza can you please go and check?”

Lara says

“What’s her doctor’s name?”

Yoza asks and Lara tells her then she heads to where I am assuming Hlali is

“So where are the twins?”

I ask

“At Mihlali’s house. Speaking of which I should get going”

She says

“Ok, Yoza will keep you posted”

I say and she nods. After what seems like an hour Yoza comes back


I ask

“She’s in labour. She asked that we inform her parents, Bandile is there with her. Your sister is so dramatic”

She says laughing

“is she ok?”

I ask and she nods

“She’s perfectly fine, she hasn’t stretched enough and her water hasn’t broken yet”

She assures me and I nod

“Lets go and chill in your office for a bit”

I suggest and she frowns

“Everything ok?”

She asks and I nod

“Yep, I miss my wife”

I say and she smiles

“That’s cute. Ok we can go”

She says and then we head to her office, when we get to her office I text mom that Hlali is in hospital and that she should call Bandile’s mother. Yoza sits on the patient chair and I sit next to her

“Something is on your mind”

I say and she sighs

“Is that why you wanted us to come to my office?”

She asks with a fake smile and I nod

“Lets just say I know my wife and I know when something is bothering her”

I say and she takes a deep breath in and lets it out. She puts her hand into her back pocket and comes back with a picture. A sonogram to be exact, I know this because our parents kept our sonograms

“I am 7 weeks pregnant”

She says, I look at the black and white picture in my hand in disbelief, overwhelmed with emotions, excited mostly. I look up at my wife and she’s crying

“Sthandwa sam look at me”

I say but she shakes her head no

“Sthandwa sam”

I say and place a finger under her chin and make her look up at me

“Please talk to me”

I plead with my voice so gentle

“I’m pregnant and I’ve only been working here for a year and a couple of months. What am I going to do with a child?”

she asks and sobs, I sigh

“Firstly, WE are pregnant and WE will figure everything out. Yoza we are a team here and I am here with you every step you take I am here. You are carrying our child which makes it even more precious. You don’t have to be afraid of anything because I got you”




After 15 long hours of labour and insults thrown at me, Hlali finally gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. We did play around with baby names but we never agreed on a name and now that she is finally here we don’t know what to name her. Hlali is sleeping and so is our little angel. I walk out to inform our friends and family that our baby is born and she is healthy and beautiful.

“What did you name her?”

Mom asks and I shrug

“We haven’t decided on a name yet”

I say

“How are they?”

Her mother asks

“They both sleeping, I guess they were tired”

I say

“Where’s Jay?”

I ask mom because I asked her to fetch Jay while I rush to the hospital

“Jay has a nanny”

She says proudly and I chuckle

“Can we see her?”

Mrs Mtwa says

“I don’t think it will be a problem, we’ll just have to ask her doctor first or a nurse”

I say and they agree. I spot Mihlali’s doctor and speak to her briefly and she tells me visitors can’t stay long since visiting hours are over. We walk into her room and she’s fast asleep, Mrs Mtwa picks her up and starts baby talking whispering to our angel. The feeling of holding my little girl in my arms is by far the best thing I could ever experience as a parent. I missed out on such a moment with Jay so to finally have it, the sudden need to protect her with every fibre of my being. It’s crazy, it’s exciting. I cannot wait to teach her so many things I couldn’t teach Jay.

“Can we pray and Thank God for this beautiful gift and for Mihlali”

Mrs Mtwa says. We all gather around and say a short prayer just thanking the lord for the safe delivery and for giving us this beautiful little angel.


We say in unison and Mihlali opens her eyes


I say and she smiles weakly

“hi, where is she?”

She asks

“Right here”

Mom says handing her over to her, she holds her

“she’s perfect”

She says and I smile

“Just like her mother”

I say and she blushes

“Thank you”

I say

“no, thank you for giving me daughter and for being there every step of the way”

She says and I lean in to kiss her forehead

“What’s her name?”

My mother asks

“I’d like for you guys to name but as for me I’d like to name her Ayola in honour of my late grandmother”

She says and Sino smiles

“Mom would have appreciated that”

She says

“Isiphosethu Ayola Tshawe”

Mom says and we smile

“It’s beautiful”

Mihlali says. Our beautiful gem was born a month later from her mother’s birthday, on the 8th of November.

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