EVADING EMOTIONS

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CHAPTER THREE

Mia

“Georgie Porgie, puddin’ and pie, kissed the girls and made them cry.” I sang as I scooted closer to George in the secluded booth of an uptown restaurant that I hadn’t heard of before today. I gave him my best sultry look and his toothy smile in response was gorgeous. “Just say the word Sugar and I’ll put it in your pie.”, he whispered in my ear, making me giggle and shy away. “Oh really?” I said, pulling him close with his tie until we were a breath away, the scent of the wine on his lips made me want to ravish it. “Say the word baby. I know you want to. I promise when I kiss my way down that amazing bod, you’ll be screaming for me to stick it in.” he whispered again and shivers ran down my spine. “Cocky now are we.” I jokingly chided as I pushed away from him, sipping on my wine seductively. His hand inched his way up my thigh and I caught it as it neared the short hem of my dress. “You’re a tease.” he pouted and I laughed. He was right, tonight I was going to be a tease thanks to my time of the month that had me eating a whole lot of chocolate, drinking a whole lot of wine and would result in a bunch of pimples popping up on my face in the morning. So why was I here? Hmm… maybe I needed the attention. Today was super crappy. Nick told me a week ago that he was trying to go steady and like the great friend I am, I encouraged him hoping that it would just blow over like the many times he had tried. But today I found out that he was going on his third date with a supper hot blonde and the overwhelming jealousy surprised me. He never ever went on a second date and now he’s on his third? Maybe she is special. I should be happy for him right? I always had a vibe that Nick should check me out in the sly and it made me feel good but now I feel like crap, especially after Facebook stalking Susan- the girl he was now dating- and realising how totally awesome she is. From what information I could compile, she was an outdoors person, loved dogs and seemed really dedicated to charity work. It didn’t help matters that she was drop-dead gorgeous in the most innocent form and it made me feel like I was a dried up gum stuck under a table in a cheap bar. Susan was totally Nick’s type. He loved hiking and biking, while the only exercise I did was my poor excuse of yoga and I never ever liked rummaging in dirt. Nick loved dogs, especially since his parents had two huskies that he had to lock away when I visited them because I was shit scared – I blame that on the stray dog that bit me when I was ten - , and he did charity work - not as much as Susan though. I was surprised at the magnitude of my unexpected jealousy so I decided to go out with George who I had met at a nightclub a few weeks ago. He asked me out on several occasions, and even though he was attractive enough, I was too busy – well that’s what I had told him. His attention made me feel better, but not quite enough.

A high pitched laugh distracted me from George’s heated gaze and my eyes searched for the source of that hideous sound. Unable to see properly from the secluded booth in the VIP section, I scooted a little to the edge of the leather seat, hearing the most annoying laughter again before landing at the source – Susan. Nick sat at a regular table with Susan seated at his side. He seemed oblivious to her ear-bleeding laughter as he stared at her breasts. For a second it felt good to know that Susan wasn’t all that perfect but was Nick deaf or was he just desperate to go steady? “Mia, come back here? I want to show you what to expect tonight.” George said as he grabbed my hand and I forcefully tugged it back. “Sorry George. It’s that time of the month for me…” I said, feigning disappointment. “Not to worry Sugar.” he said, scooting closer, pulling at my bottom lip down with his thumb, “I bet you could do wonders with your mouth.” he cooed. And just like that my interest in him died with no possible way of resurrection. I smiled, my irritation seeping through as I lay down his hand that was brushing my face, “Not tonight.” I said and thankfully he got the message as his face contorted with anger. He stood abruptly, fastening the buttons on his suit. “You’re such a tease.”, he said, this time no seduction seeped through, only pure annoyance as he stomped his way out of the VIP section and out of the restaurant. I let out a heavy breath and shooed down my waiter. “How may I help you Ma’am?” the dashing waiter asked, his bearded face making him look older than he sounded. “A bottle of whatever I ordered before.” I said before he turned and made his way and suddenly I felt embarrassed at my inexperience with quality wine. I usually resort to wine that came in a bladder but I knew this classy restaurant would rather burn to the ground than serve that. The bottle would certainly be expensive but right now I didn’t care about the hole in my wallet, but rather the hole I was trying to burn in Susan’s head, wishing I had Cyclops’ energy beams emitting form my eyes. Yes, I love X-Men – shocker I know. Nick’s eyes were now focused on her face and he looked happy. I mulled in my seat as I watched them wine and dine as I gulped the expensive wine, my heart breaking in two. You should be happy for him. I told myself. There is absolutely no reason for you to feel like this. You want him- sure. But your hormones are just haywire right now. This emotional shit will end when your period does. I continue with my pep-talk. I huff, exasperated and undeniably drunk as I call for the bill and pray that I make it to the door without falling. I take off my heels as assurance of stability, which doesn’t work because halfway towards the exit, I stumble on nothing at all and fall to the floor, butt-first, dropping the dashing waiter’s tray of glasses that were brimming with champagne. Well at least someone is celebrating their non-embarrassing life. The stunned waiter apologises and my heads starts spinning as he tries to lift me up and I fall on my butt again. Lost in a blur, I hear Nick’s voice and my ears perk and suddenly I’m being cradled in Nick’s arms, his warmth instantaneously making me pass out.

A strong ache in my tummy made me stir from blissful stupor. The bright light that shone in my face made me squint and I reached over to switch off the lamp. Rubbing my eyes, I sat upright causing me to groan as another wave of aches tore through my tummy. I closed my eyes immediately after I had tried to open them, a sharp pain shooting through my brain. “Fuck!” I muttered, massaging my temples. I opened my eyes again to darkness and thankfully my headache soothed to a dull ache. After adjusting my sight to the darkness, I realised I was in Nick’s bedroom. I knew this room well since I always stayed over during our late Netflix and chill catch-up sessions – that had no added benefits unfortunately. I groaned in pain again, slumping forward to ease the tension in my tummy – I hated a being female right now, especially a hung over one. As if period cramps weren’t enough, you had to get drunk. I chided myself. Wait. But how did I end up here? I thought and in less than a second, the room illuminated with light and I shut my eyes, covering them with hand. “Switch it off.” I groaned. “No. You need to wake up.” Nick said as he passed me a glass of water and two pills. “Why? It’s not even nine a.m.” I said, peeking at the digital alarm clock next to me. “You have a little lady problem.” he said, glancing at his bed and I followed his gaze seeing red blotches on his ivory bedsheet. “Shit!” I said my voice a whisper at my embarrassment. “I’m so, so sorry.” I said as I jumped out of bed and tore out his bedsheet, checking quickly if it hadn’t seeped through into the mattress – I released a breath of relief when I saw that it was stain free. I realised then that my clothes would be messed as well. Noticing that I had Nick’s pale blue T-shirt, I groaned when I saw a huge fresh stain near my butt. Fuck sakes! I’m so sorry I said as I held the bedsheet to my chest, tears threatening to spill at any moment. Nick’s face contorted with concern. “Hey. Hey. Don’t worry about it. I understand, after all I do have four sisters.” he said and even though I knew he genuinely meant it, it didn’t make me feel any better. The serious ache in my belly, the shooting pain piercing my brain and my over-bearing, embarrassing leakage made the tears fall. Oh God, now you’re crying? Could you be any more of a mess? Nick came closer and wrapped me in his arms as I whimpered on his shoulder, instead of getting my ass in the shower and cleaning up the mess I had made. “It’s okay Mia. Really.”, he soothed and held me tighter. “I’ll run you a bath and get the coffee going. You just relax and I’ll sort everything out.” he said as he tugged on the bedsheet that was still balled in my hands. I tugged back and shook my head. “Mia, it’s fine.” He said again and after a beat of hesitation, I let go. He strolled to the ensuite bathroom and the sounds of gushing water filling the bathtub. The gushing stopped and he stepped out of the steamed up bathroom, “Go get cleaned up. I’ll sort out the rest.” I was so grateful to have him at that moment that I gave him a lingering kiss on his cheek, which made him smile, before slipping into the bathroom and into the huge bathtub that was filled with hot water and bubble bath - just the way I like it. I sighed in contentment as I peeled off his shirt and soaked my body, all the aches and pains fading away.

I emerged from his room, dressed in another one of Nick’s shirts with a towel wrapped around my head and found him sitting by the kitchen counter with two steaming cups of coffee in front of him. He smiled at my arrival as I took the seat next to him, wrapping my hands around the mug he handed to me. I took a tentative sip of the coffee and flinched as it burned my tongue. Nick knew the way I liked my coffee and he made it perfectly – two sugars and a dash of creamer. Taking a second sip, I moaned. “Wow. I guess you have to resort to my coffee for your orgasms these days.”, he laughed, slurping his coffee noisily. I rolled my eyes dramatically “They aren’t that good.” I fib. “I beg to differ.” he said with a smirk and slurps his coffee again. I grimace “Can you not do that? You know it weirds me out.” I say, gesturing to his irritating slurping noises and he slurps again. “Hey, I’m just enjoying me coffee.” he shrugs. I roll my eyes again. “So what happen last night?” he asks and I remember his date with Susan, the jealousy creeping up again and I shove it down hard. “I was drunk and I slipped and I don’t really know what happen after that.” I shrugged. “How did you know I was at that restaurant? Did someone call you? Was I that bad?” I ask, successfully feigning ignorance at the first two questions and really not wanting to know the answer to the third. Nick rose from his seat and deposited the dirty mug with the rest of the dishes piled on the sink. The neat-freak in me begged my eyes not to stare at it. I just might get sick again. “Number 1 – I was there with Susan; number two - there was no need to call anyone because even if I wasn’t there, I could have heard the crashing glasses from a mile away; and number three – bad couldn’t even describe the condition you were in. By the way, you never got wasted like that, so what’s up?” he asks and suddenly my mind blanks out. “Uhm…. I was on a date too and the buzz of the wine never hit me after the first few, so I drank a bit more and suddenly it hit me all at once like a wrecking ball.” I lied easily, pleased with myself. “Oh.” he replied, his concern easing. “Sorry I disturbed your date.” I purred, batting my eyelashes in the way he hates so much and he sighed in irritation, making me laugh. No matter the embarrassments of the night and early hours of the mornings, it was all worth it – his date with Susan ended early.

Nick

“Sorry I disturbed your date.” She practically purrs and bats her eyelashes in the sexiest way. I sigh, my irritation, clearly not at her but instead of uneasiness in my pants. I told her she freaks me out when she does that, but in all truth, it turns me the fuck on. I regret ever telling her that though because now she does it more often, making it harder to control the urge to kiss her. Looking at her now, I really don’t mind my date being cut short. She was the only woman I wanted to take home anyways, and here she was, dressed in my shirt that made her legs looks phenomenal and I wished it ended higher than her mid-thigh. She looks adorable with her hair wrapped in a towel, but I knew she would look hot as hell if her wet curls fell on her shoulder. I was exposed to too many post-bathroom scenes when instead I wanted to be with her in the bathtub, massaging her all over her body and indulge in her moans. “Thank you Nick.” she says shyly and I push all my naughty thoughts to the back of my mind. “What for?” I ask. “Well for taking care of me and bringing me here and about the mess in there…” she says, thrusting her thumb behind her, towards my bedroom. My heart warmed. “No prob.” I say, shrugging. It was the truth after all. No woman should feel embarrassed about something like that. She nodded, staring at me with a smile playing on her lips. “Want to Netflix and chill for a while?” I ask since I’m clearly not going to get any sleep with her tempestuous body around. She beams and nods. “Nick I swear you are the perfect guy.”, she says as she grabbed the T.V. remote and scrolled through the list of movies. Little did she know that I wanted to be perfect for her.

The forth date with Susan was nerve-wrecking as I thought about Mia the entire time. I tried once again to get lost in her breasts but smiled as I the thought of Mia’s breasts being much more symmetrical – oh and bigger, way bigger. Susan waved her hand in front of my face, fanning away my misted thoughts. I looked up at her and her face was flush. She thought I was checking her out- it was anything but. It wasn’t as if Susan wasn’t sexy or alluring, she was a bomb of a package and would have any guy eating shit out of her delicate palms. I met her through Tinder, and according to her profile we should be a perfect match, maybe we would be if I could get Mia out of my head. I put on my biggest smile and focused my attention on Susan, hoping that maybe when I bed her tonight, she would help me forget Mia because if I didn’t forget her soon, I was going to lose it.

Mia

The sky was cloudy and grey, the wind chilly and soft droplets of rain fell on my skin. I huffed after ten minutes of non-stop running and it felt like my lungs were going to collapse. I bent over, hands on my knees as I wheezed. Flip this – I’ll stick to sex, I thought as I waddled to the nearby bakery and ordered a sugar coated doughnut and cappuccino. I wanted to be the type of girl that looked fit in tights and a work out bra but I guess I could just pretend that I ran a whole mile as I wore it during my morning strolls. I licked my lips as the waitress brought over my doughnut and coffee and I immediately sunk my teeth into the soft, sugary piece of heaven, closing my eyes and taking pleasure in its buttery taste. The door to the bakery dinged open and a heavy guy, who looked like a biker strolled in, locking eyes with me as I took another bite of my doughnut which almost fell from my agape mouth. He was hot. Not like the cappuccino-hot, but like the lava-erupting-hot. He smirked at me before making his way over to the lady handling the orders, ordering a box full of chocolate doughnuts with multi coloured sprinkles - odd. He waited a few minutes for the lady to box his doughnuts and pay, after which he casually turned in my direction and strolled towards me. I ducked my head, dabbing my lips that were covered in crumbs and sugar as he took the seat in front of me. “You missed a spot.” he said as he reached over and swiped his thumb over my Cupid’s bow. Maybe it was the lack of sex for the past two weeks, but his gesture warmed my core. “Rob.” he says smoothly and after I found my voice, I mutter “Mia.”, offering my hand. He takes it and gives a strong shake and I instantly like him. “Chocolate with sprinkles huh? Didn’t peg you for that type of guy.” I say and he laughs. “It’s for my niece. I’m heading over to her birthday party and if I don ’t show up with her favourites, I might as well be dead meat.” I laugh “Don’t mess with little girls.” I playfully warn. “No. I’d rather mess with you.”, he smirks sexily. “Hmmm. What if I’m not someone to be messed with?” I add coyly. “Guess I’ll take the risk.” He winks and just like that I’m on his bike - told you he was a biker – and we were off to his niece’s birthday party.

“How is Susan?” I ask Nick as we enjoy a Sunday brunch at Mama’s Pie Factory. “She’s great. Got a new job at a bank.” “Oh wow, send my congratulations.” I say, lies dripping on every word. “And Rob?” Nick asks. “He’s good too” I say, not at all interested to talk about biker guy. He was fun at first but almost a month and a half of attempting a relationship – due to the freakishly insane attempt to get over my new-found feelings of my best friend that was currently in a serious relationship – but now I was drowning in boredom, and this is why, ladies and gentleman, Mia Kennedy does not do relationships. We sat silently as we munched on a delicious apple pie and sipped on our coffee. “I’m breaking up with her.” Nick blurts absentmindedly. I scoff and choke on my pie, “Why? Isn’t she perfect for you?” I ask, my eyes round as saucers as my heart did a little happy dance. “On paper, yes she is. But I’m getting bored.” he sighs, frustrated. “That’s a relief.” I mutter under my breath. “What?” he asks. “Oh nothing.” I chuckle. “I was thinking of breaking up with Rob too.” I say, finally glad that I would be able to do it after hearing such great news. “Why?’ he ask, this time. “Same as you. Bored as hell.” I answer, shrugging and Nick let out a relieved breath. “What?” I ask, getting slightly irritated at his reaction. He looked at me questioningly. “You just seem relieved that I’m going to break up with Rob.” I say, agitation escaping into my tone. “He just doesn’t seem to be your type.” he answers nonchalantly. “And you would know my type?” I full on glare at him now. “Come on Mia. You don’t have a specific type to fuck. But I know that Rob isn’t your type for a serious relationship.” He answers. “So Mr know-me-so-well, what would be my serious type of guy?” I asked, daring him to answer. “Me.” he says with calm and my eyes bulge. “Well not me, but a guy like me.”, he corrects lightning fast. “And what so special about you that would make me take your type seriously?” I ask, intrigued. “Well number one, I’m hot. No use denying it…”, he starts, flexing his muscles and giving me the sexiest smile that could melt panties, “…number two, and this is the most important… I’m damn awesome.” I laugh a full blown, tummy-cramp-inducing laugh. “Well, I can’t deny both of that. But unfortunately there is only one of you to go around.” I tease. “Well that’s a huge problem. I guess you are going to die alone, or maybe when you frail and wrinkled, you’ll have a thousand cats that would stick your side.” he jokes, and even though I knew he was teasing, my heart sank because even though I didn’t want to be in a relationship, the thought of dying alone did scare me.

“I’m horny as hell.” I say, pouting as I dump the Chinese takeout bag on Nick’s kitchen counter. “Lack of dick these days?” he teases. “Haha”, I say sarcastically. “There’s plenty of that all around town but none are interesting me these days.” I say. It was true though, no hot guy, no matter how seriously fuckable they look, my libido cut off shortly after a few minutes of flirting. I wanted Nick so bad right now as he lounged in his couch with his sweatpants that hung loosely on his hips and his vest that clung hopelessly on his taut torso. “I’m sorry, do I know you?” he teases. I roll my eyes and fish out our chow-mein and chopsticks, grabbing a fork for myself. Plopping down beside him in my sweatpants and tank top, I hand him his food as he continues to search for a movie on Netflix. He eyes my fork as I dig in, “When are you actually going to learn how to use a chopstick?” he asks. “Why make life difficult when someone brilliant out there invented a fork.” I counter with my mouth full. “It’s about respecting the food you eat and it’s not like using chop sticks are hard.” Nicks says and I scoff, “Not hard? It’s like I have butter fingers every time I use them and my food always – and I mean ALWAYS- slips out before ever reaching my mouth. Respect for food or not, I just need it to go in my mouth.” I say dramatically. “Hmm. Like that’s the only thing that you want to go in your mouth.” he teases, cocking his eyebrow. I shove him and blush. “Can we not have any sexual teasing today?” I say because I honestly can’t handle it right now, especially when I’m hot, and I mean blazing, calling the fire department hot for Nick. “So this is what you call sexual teasing? Who have you been with?” he jokes and I shove him harder. “Pick a movie already; I’m almost done with my food.” I squeal, trying to redirect the subject and luckily he immerses himself in finding a movie and all I could wonder is how Nick would sexually tease me and I almost whimper. I’m so flipping horny.

The movie starts and Nick and I munch on our chow mein. We both have our legs slayed on the comfy couch and I regret not getting one just like it when he tried to persuade me to get matching couch sets. It may look overly big and buffy but it was like putting your bare butt on a warm toilet seat on an ice-cold morning. It didn’t help matters that it was soft and I sunk into it comfily. Nick and I shared a blanket between us and he moved his leg to lap over mine. His body heat on that exact spot made me want to combust but also gave me a sense of calm, a sense of wanting something more than a one–night stand with him. I sat there, not concentrating on the movie a as I thought about all the moments we shared. We were a perfect fit, a yin to a yang, Oreo to milk, and that made me panic , really panic, and the next thing I know, I’m strolling to the bathroom where I lock myself in, sit on the edge of the bathtub and bury my head in my hands. I shouldn’t feel this way. I couldn’t! Especially after…. Don’t think about that now. Don’t think about that ever! I say to myself and suddenly I’m crying for all the pent sexual frustration, for all the weird feelings for Nick and for all I tried to avoid by deflecting any feelings for anyone. After I have my little pity party which thankfully didn’t last long, I wash my face, grab a face towel and wipe away the evidence of my tears. I practice smiling in the mirror, but it was weak and I dreaded going back to Nick and the movie which I didn’t want to cut short because even though it was overwhelming being around him right now, it would be worse without him.

Nick

I let out a laugh at the funny scene of the movie, choking on my chow mein. Mia came out the bathroom looking red-eyed and sulky, distracting me as I composed myself. She plopped down on the couch, her half eaten chow mein sat on the coffee table in front of us and I knew something was wrong. Mia always finishes her food - always. Maybe she was sexually frustrated. Heaven knows I was at that moment with her tank top dropping low on her chest, her nipples straining against the material making it known that she skipped her bra tonight and all I could wonder was if her nipples were as pink as I imagined it would be. I didn’t comment on her weepy eyes as I tried to get engulfed in the comedy screening in front of us. I noticed her biting her lips as she tried not to get watery-eyed again and I couldn’t ignore it anymore. “What’s wrong?” I finally ask. She gulps, her eyes fixed on the movie. “Nothing.” she says as she clears her throat. I roll my eyes and pause the movie. “Come on, everyone knows that when a girl says ‘it’s nothing’, it’s always something and it’s usually drastic.”, I say dramatically, looking at her but her eyes doesn’t leave the screen. “Seriously, it’s nothing. Just hormones acting up.” she says, shaking her head, making her ponytail swish from side to side. “Menopause starting so soon?” I tease, and thankfully she smiles but doesn’t come up with a snarky come-back. After an hour of her moping and my absent-mindedness, the credentials start rolling. I switch off the television, clearing up the remnants of our take out and offer her ice cream, which she declines, which is so unlike normal Mia. Her moping is killing me and all I want to do is make her feel better, but how to I do that when I don’t even know what the hell is wrong? Mia is as stubborn as a bull and getting her to share her feelings is like scratching your way through a wall. She helps me neaten up, grimacing at the pile of dishes on my sink and trots off into my bedroom.

After I lock up the apartment and shut all the windows, I find her asleep in my bed, wrapped in the blanket up to her chin. I lean against the bedroom door frame and admire her beauty. She looks so pure and innocent when she sleeps and I know she is anything but. Slipping into bed next to her was like second nature to me as we always shared a bed whenever we stayed over at each other’s apartments. She stirs and scoots over to me, something she has never done before. “Hold me? Please?” she whispers, her voice shaky and my heart breaks as I indulge in her request, sliding my one hand under her head while placing the other over her belly as we spoon. My heart sunk when I realised that this is how I really wanted things to be. I wanted something real. I wanted her. I tucked the strands that escaped her tied hair behind her ear and she shivered slightly. I held onto her the entire night. Mia fell asleep during the early hours of the morning but I refused to shut down just so I could hold on to this moment forever.

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