EVADING EMOTIONS

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CHAPTER SIX

Nick

Mia and I sat among my family around the dinner table smiling like idiots as my parents retold the story of how they met. Even though they had told it more than a hundred times, the way they expressed themselves made it known to everyone around them that even after so many years, they were still happy and in love. I looked at Mia, like I did many times before and wonder how it would be to be able to share that kind of relationship with her. Mushy, I know, but she was perfect for me and she would never be a hit and run, especially not for me. Suddenly Ladies Night by Kool & The Gang blasted in the living room. We all made our way there and inspected the room which was now dark, except for the light from the disco ball dancing along the walls and the couches were moved to the side of the room into a make-shift dance floor. “Its New Year’s Eve guys, let party.” my youngest sister hollers as everyone, except Mia and I occupy the dance floor. Mia grabs my hand and whispers that she wants to go out on the balcony for a little while. I nod my agreement, as we grab a bottle of wine and two glasses before running up the stairs.

She rubs her shoulders, a puff of steam leaving her mouth as she exhales a hot breath. She pulls out a cigarette from her coat pocket, lighting it before she coughs and exhales a minty smoke. I gape. “Where the hell did you get that from?” I scold, taking it from her gloved fingers and throwing it off the balcony. She leans over the balcony in shock as she stares at the strewn cigarette that now lay in the snow below. “Don’t look at me like that.” I warn as she turns her glare at me. “That was my only one.” she says with a bite in her tone. I shrug nonchantly, even though I’m pissed at her. When the hell did she start smoking? I pour glasses of wine, passing one to her and she takes it, her glare still burning holes in my forehead. She always looks so sexy when she’s pissed. She shakes her head and gazes in the direction of the naked guy’s house. Silence engulfs us as we sip on the wine and she begins fidgeting with her coat sleeve. “Give it up.” I say, unable to bear her uneasiness when I know there is something on her mind. She sighs. “Nick I have something to tell you and I hope that you won’t be weird about it.” “Shoot.”, I say, my eyes never leaving her beautiful face. She tugs on her lips with her teeth as she moves from foot to foot. “Look Nick, I know we are friends but…” she starts and my heart beats faster. Please let her say what I think she’s going to say. “…I’ve suddenly started having strange feelings for you.” She says as she turns in my direction. My heart stops, my tongue tied, my mouth agape. “Shit! I knew I shouldn’t have said anything.” She says, buring her face in her hands and all of a sudden I found my voice again. “What feelings exactly?” I ask. She mumbles incoherently into her hand and I reach for her, lifting her face so that we’re eye to eye. “Tell me.” I plead. “I’m not sure what it is exactly. All I know is that I want you. I crave you.” She admits, a flush heating her cheeks and I dip my head, pressing a chaste kiss against it. She gapes at me. “I crave you too.” I say a heavy weight lifting off my chest at my admission. Her eyes widen and she licks her lips as I stare into her coffee coloured eyes. All too quickly, she pulls away from me, the distance between us instantly making me freeze. “What’s wrong?” I ask, confused. “I really want to kiss you.” she admits and I’m instantly flaming with need. I take a step towards her and she takes a step back. “Let’s just talk first.” she says. I stop on my tracks and nod, praying the conversation ends quickly so that I could finally have a taste of her hot mouth. “So, I’m guessing you’re attracted to me to? In a way that’s more than friends?” she asks, insecurity making her nervous. “I’d be blind and stupid not to be.” I say truthfully and she lets out a relieved breath. I clench my fists to my sides as I try to control my urge to grab her and kiss her until we both can’t breathe. “Okay. So, if you’re up for it, can we try to be friends with benefits? And if you agree you have to swear to me that if it ends badly, we will do our best to forget our little fling and never ever letting it affect our friendship.” My heart stops again. Fling? She wanted a fuck buddy? I inhale a deep breath as I consider it. Well if she wants a fuck buddy then I could be that but what if I land up broken hearted? Would that be worth it? Even if I did promise her that I could remain friends if this went south, could I be able to be her friend after tasting her, after having her? Don’t be such a girl. , I chide myself. Maybe this would be an opportunity to make her fall in love with me and I won’t pass up that opportunity or maybe it could be a way to get her out of system. Mia stares at me as I slowly pace the length of the balcony for a few minutes. “Okay. We’ll do it, and I promise to never let whatever happens affect our friendship.” Mia beams and closes the distance between us until we were tongue tying and spit swopping. She tasted even better than I could have ever imagined, the taste of wine from her mouth adding to my headiness. The need to have her consumes me and I forcefully pull away, take her hand and lead her to my bedroom.

Mia

Nick led me to his bedroom, my heart skyrocketed as he grabbed me by the hips, lifting me up so that I could wrap my legs aground his waist as he slammed me against the wall. He kissed me with so much passion and I desperately returned the favour. He hitched up my dress before grazing my sweet spot with his finger as he softly bit on my nipples through the fabric. Soon we were naked and he carried me to his bed, and we took each other desperately, trying to keep our moans quiet which heightened the intensity of every moment, of every touch, of every breath. My back arched as I reached the highest peak I’ve had yet to experience and he grunted his release at the same time. Shouts of “Happy New Year.” from below echoed through our breathy silence and I kissed him, hoping the New Year led to more earth-shattering orgasms.

After Nick and completed our ‘business’ in his bedroom, we hastily put our clothes on before making our way downstairs to the others. We were engulfed in hugs and handshakes as we wished everyone a Happy New Year. Thankfully nobody commented on our absence and we all danced into the early hours of the morning. We both slept separately, not that Nick didn’t try to persuade me otherwise, but I was exhausted and I knew the drive back home would be difficult if I didn’t catch up on some sleep. I plop on my bed and go over everything that had happened last night. I didn’t want to lose our friendship or Nick if this ended badly but I wanted him so much. My new sex toy barely satisfied me and that’s when I knew that I couldn’t take the sexual frustration anymore, thus leading to my confession. To say I was glad that we did have sex would be a serious understatement because Nick rocked my world – literally, but the gooey feeling in my heart afterwards was hard to ignore and I seriously wondered if I just made the biggest mistake of my life.

The drive back home was quiet and my brain wouldn’t give me a break from thoughts of last night’s endeavours. Nick and I hardly had any time to even talk this morning as we all gathered for brunch. Nick was due to leave later in the afternoon, due to Nicholene’s insistence, and I hoped that maybe he would stop by at my place before going home. My phone buzzed in my pocket and I fished it out with difficulty due to my gloved hands. A text from Nick popped up on my screen – I’m going to grab Chinese food and come over around 19:00pm. I think Santa forgot to give me one more present, so don’t wait around naked because I want to unwrap you and devour you. I instantly blush and a grin spreads across my face. I glance at the clock which stated that it was 13:00pm and I groaned in dismay.

I nibble on my nails – a very bad habit that hadn’t faded over the years – as I sat on my couch in sweatpants and a tank top, waiting for Nick. I should have worn something sexier shouldn’t I? But wouldn’t that be too weird? Even though Nick and I have decided to be friends with spicy benefits, doesn’t mean I had to wear lingerie or something. Right? I bit on my nail harder and cursed when the skin underneath broke and started to bleed. My nerves were acting up as I stared at the clock ticking as the seconds passed. Fifteen minutes more. I told myself as I started pacing. Stop being a nervous wreck! It’s just Nick. I had no idea why I was acting this way. I already slept with him so what’s the big deal? After some serious thought, I regretted admitting my feelings for him, but what it led to I would never ever regret. He was amazing in bed, just like he was an amazing friend. Oh God, What if either of us screws it up and we hate each other? My doorbell rings and I jump, startled. I pace more, to and from the door, wondering if I should make an excuse and send him away or drag him in and kiss him. The doorbell rang two more times before I decided that maybe we weren’t ready for this. I sure as hell wasn’t ready to lose him. So I opened the door, “Nick I…”, my excuse to send him home was cut short as he grabbed me by the waist and kissed me, long and desperately. “You were saying?” , he smirks as I realise that we had moved to the middle of the living room and my apartment door was closed. Wait how did that happen? He stared in my eyes, his minty breath made me conscious of my own and I pulled away. He smirked again, this time more flirtatiously and butterflies danced in my belly. Flirty Nick was so much hotter than friendly Nick. I nearly swooned. Nick took the take-out bags into the kitchen and even though I wanted to follow him, my legs couldn’t move. Oh my God Mia! Why are you so nervous? You wanted him, so take him. I encouraged myself and yet I still couldn’t move a muscle. Why was I being so girly? “So…” Nick starts, turning his attention to me and even through the distance between us, his eyes penetrated mine, his evident lust heated me. “I bet you were making up an excuse not to let me in. Right?” he asked and I gaped. How the hell does he know everything? Am I that easy to read? He chuckles, knowing that he hit the nail right on the head. “Come here.”, he says, crooking his finger and suddenly my legs weren’t buried in dried cement anymore as I move towards him. He was magnetizing though, everything about him drew me to him and no matter how much I ignored it, it finally became overbearing. He held me by the waist and lifted me onto the kitchen counter, spreading my legs apart as he stepped in-between. “I know you well enough, we’ve been friends for a very, very long time and most of that time I jerked off to thoughts of fucking you. Trust me no excuse can make me back off now.” He sounded so sultry and dangerous and utterly, utterly hot. He grabbed my ass and jerked me forward until his head was buried in my breasts. He squeezed my butt cheeks as he ran his stubbled face along the curvatures of my breast. My breaths were becoming short and coherent. My fingers itched to touch him but the feel of him made me want to bask in my selfishness. I had never ever felt so wanted or wanton before. Everything Nick did - the way he kissed my bare nipples, the way he ran his tongue along my belly button and made his way to my core - was torturously slow and I nearly screamed with impatience. His hands and mouth were everywhere, and suddenly out of nowhere, I combusted – hard - and he kissed me - even harder. And to think I was going to chase him away. How foolish of me.

After Nick had devoured me – as promised-, we both sat on the couch eating our Tuesday norm – Chinese food - and everything went back to how it usually was. Well most of it – we got a little handsy which made everything way more fun. The lack of awkwardness was surprising and I finally I was convinced that this could work out. Okay maybe Nick’s awesome hard-on might have done the convincing but it seemed natural, kind of inevitable and even though I still wasn’t sure what the girly feelings that popped up when he snuggled me meant, I knew I wanted him – bad.

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