One year later…
I dialled Mia’s extension “Hello.”, she answered, sounding a tad irritated. “Hi. Could you please come to my office?” I ask, doing my best sultry voice. “Sure.” she sighs and I knew she rolled her eyes. I laughed, the poor girl must have been sexually frustrated. I spent the last week out of town, meeting a number of potential authors and as much as I wanted to tag Mia along for company, she declined as she had an important appointment at the beauty parlour. Why she needed to go, I had no idea because she looked spectacular, even without trimmed eyebrows. I shifted in my seat, adjusting my pants due my growing bulge as I waited for her. She entered my office and closed the door behind her, locking it. My grin widened because locked doors meant getting down and dirty in my office and right now I would really love for her to go down on her knees. My grin widened further when she turned to me, her hands crossed over her chest while she popped out her hip and stared at me in a ‘What do you want?’ way. “Why so frustrated?” I tease, cocking my eyebrow. She huffed, “I’m not frustrated. I’m busy. You do know that I have work to do and can’t just leave my work at your beck and call? she says and I laugh. “Don’t lie. You were waiting for me to call you. You’re just mad that I walked pass you and haven’t ravished you in the last two hours.” She let out a sexy, frustrated growl that made me harder. I rose from my seat, rounded my desk and stepped right in front of her. “You know you don’t have to wait for me to make the first move. You can always take what you want.” I clenched my fists in my pocket, barely controlling the urge to touch her silky, milky skin. She ran her hands slowly down my chest, tugged my tie which made me bend towards her, almost a breath away. She lifted her lips, her eyes downcast as I felt her soft, warm breath brush against my lips. I close my eyes, waiting, begging her silently to dip her tongue in my mouth. “I’ll take what I want when I want it.”, she whispers, pushing me away while she giggles. I smirk, trying to hide my obvious need for her. If she wants to play, I’d play harder. She strolled towards the door, swaying her hip as she feigned dropping her pencil which was previously perched on her ear. She bent over, her low hem skirt revealing her bare bottom and I nearly blow up in my pants. Once she was done with her little show, she stepped out of my office, closing the door silently behind her .She is such a little Devil and I absolutely love it.
I arrive at my apartment to find Mia already lounging on my couch. “Where’s the pizza?” she pouts, as she takes in my empty hands. “Hello to you too.” I tease. She waves me off. I take off my jacket and shoes, throwing them into the coat closet in the entryway. “Seriously though, where is the pizza?” she asks, crossing her arms like a petulant child. “I was thinking I could make dinner tonight.” I say. I was in the cooking mood, which wasn’t often. Mia grimaced, “Are you sure?” and I laugh. “I’m not that bad of a cook.” She shrugs, “If you say so.”, she says as she continues watching reality TV. I head to the shower, as per my normal routine, and lather myself up with one of Mia’s body washes. I had secretly used them when I missed her, but right now my own was empty so I had no choice in the matter. She had spent more time at my place than her own over the year that we became official ‘friends with benefits’ and somehow we turned into an old married couple, which I loved and hated at the same time. Making Mia fall in love with me hasn’t been easy. Whenever I try to be romantic, she just shrugs it off or doesn’t even notice it. I was severely disappointed but luckily it wasn’t as bad as it seemed. We wanted each other more and more. I got to explore her and learned a new trick almost every day on how to make her orgasm more thrilling. It was fun being around her that way and it was like we’ve been that way forever. She wasn’t the type of girl to sleep with the same man over and over again and she liked changing things up. I enjoyed attempting new techniques and my ego notched higher and higher whenever she screamed my name. I continuously glance at the bathroom door, hoping that Mia would enter as usual, but this time she doesn’t and I frown all the way to the kitchen to prep for dinner.
I look over my shoulder to see Nick’s back facing me as he makes dinner. Things were becoming awkward – for me at least, Nick seemed totally fine. Nick had been out of town for business meetings before, but why did his absence last week make me want to cry? I was getting overly emotional when I woke up to a cold bed, or when I went into my bathroom to find the toilet seat the way it was supposed to be. This wasn’t me. This wasn’t the person I fought so long and hard to avoid being. I remember being that girl, the type that believed in love and searched for it in every relationship. But love didn’t exist, lust did and I believed that because the burn and pleasure I felt with Nick when we fucked was out of this world, except these days, it felt like we were making love instead of humping each other like animals. Don’t get me wrong I enjoyed our faux love making but the ache it left it my chest was getting hard to push aside. I knew Nick was probably frowning because I didn’t join him in the shower and thankfully I had the excuse of having my time of the month. I honestly didn’t want to talk to him or any other man about feelings. I feel so lost and vulnerable, a complete contrast to the woman I was a year ago. I tried, without Nick’s knowledge of course, to vibe out other guys and see if they could make me want them. I couldn’t seem to bring myself to actually make a move because my interest in them thinned out the minute I saw them, no matter how attractive they were. I so badly wanted to go back to my place, to avoid Nick and the sudden rush of feelings I had when he came back to work this morning, but before I could make a decision, I was already in his apartment changing into my comfy clothes that was kept in his closet. My head throbbed and my heart ached. I wanted to touch him, to feel him, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
I lost myself to the reality TV programme that played in front of me, my head swimming with thoughts and before I knew it, a plate of steamy pasta and meatballs were in front of my face. I inhaled and groaned. Taking the plate from Nick’s hand, I dug in and groaned again, my miserable thoughts pushed aside as my hunger took over. “Oh my God Nick. How?” I ask, mid chew. He shrugs and takes a bite, smiling as he basks in his glory. “Don’t underestimate me.” he chuckles. Nick shifted as he pulled out something from his back pocket. Handing it to me, I saw that it was Christina Aguilera concert tickets. “Ohmigod.” I stood, staring at the tickets with awe, my plate of meatballs nearly slipping from my other hand. “How?” I asked knowing full well that it was sold out. “I have friends in high places.” he grins and I jump on his lap, nearly spilling my plate on his bare chest. “Ohmigod. I love you!” I shriek, kissing him on the cheek as I happy danced on his lap. His eyes widen and I look at him in confusion. “What?”, I ask, cocking my head to the side. “You love me?” he nearly chokes on his food, his eyes lighting up and then I realise my huge blunder. “Yeah, I do. You’re the best friend ever.” I say as sweetly as I can, emphasising the word friend as my brain went into overdrive at my stupidity. But come on, how could he think that I was in love with him? Was I? No, no, no. We were strictly friends. I couldn’t lose my best friend for something as stupid as love. Nick’s expression turned somber and then it hit me – Nick was in love with me. No this can’t be happening! “Nick?” I whisper carefully. He snaps his head in my direction, looks into my eyes for the briefest of seconds and I instantly feel my heart break in two. He trys to cover it up with a forceful smile but his eyes could never express it. I scoot off his lap, the tickets in my hand forgotten as the air between us thickened with tension. Nick excuses himself and makes his way into the kitchen as I play with the food on my plate, thoughts invading my brain. Maybe I should just end this ’friends with benefits’ thing. But the sex was over amazing and what if things became awkward afterwards. Well it was kind of awkward right now. Maybe I was just delusional due to my overthinking. He can’t be in love with me. We made it known from the very beginning what this relationship was and even though I wasn’t sure about the weird emotions, I’ve been experiencing lately. I could not, would not, let it lead to love. But it was overly selfish of me. Nick had been looking for a steady partner and I offered him nothing more than benefits and even though we both enjoyed it, I knew it would never be enough and it would end sometime soon, but I never ever thought it would be this soon. My pulse was beating rapidly as I started to panic. No, if Nick was in love with me , he should know where I stood, or at least assumed. If he really wanted a serious relationship filled with hearts and flowers, he would have told me so because he is that type of honest guy. Maybe I’m just misreading the whole situation. “Nick.” I call over my shoulder as I put down my plate. He turns in my direction. “Come here.” I coo, crooking my finger. He obliges, a forceful smile plastered on his face. I knew exactly what would make him feel better, even if that meant I was selfish enough to ignore his feelings, if there were any. I seat him on the couch and go on my knees. The sadness in his eyes slowly turned into lust which burned into me. I ravished him and his moans heightened my need for him. I made it all about him the entire night until both of us lay in bed, him satisfied while I throbbed in need until I fell asleep in his arms. No matter what happens, I cannot lose him.
I laid in bed after being taken in the most exhilarating manner. I wished I could be inside her and I cursed when she told me she was on her period. Her lips were apart as she drooled on her pillow and the sight made my heart clench. How much longer could I put up with this? Clearly she wasn’t going to fall in love with me and maybe if we weren’t friends with benefits, I would have found a steady partner. But it wouldn’t be her. I wanted it to be her. I couldn’t fall in love with anyone else now that I’ve had a taste, felt her warmth as she circled her hands around my waist, seen her naked and moaning. I fell deeper than I ever thought I would. I just wanted this a little longer, no matter how much it hurt. She stirred, her eyes fluttering open as she smiled at me. “What time is it?” she asks, her voice hoarse and it was so damn sexy. “Almost 10pm.” I say as I run my fingers through her dark locks. She pulls away slightly and gives me a comforting smile, hitting me right in the chest. Surely she should have guessed how I truly felt about her if she had noticed my reaction earlier. Maybe that was why she was pulling away. She glanced at the clock beside her and groaned. “I have to get going.” she said and I stilled. She was leaving? She always stayed over. That’s when I knew she was really pulling away. “It’s late Mia, you should stay.” I said as calmly as I could. She shook her head from side to side as she slid off the bed and started to dress. “I got to be somewhere tomorrow morning.” Bullshit. “Where?” She shrugs, “It’s not important really but it’s near my place so I want to get there earlier.” she lies. Mia had never been a good liar and it hurt even more that she was lying just to get away from me like I was a monster. I watched her gather her things and walked her to the exit until she got into a cab. I made my way to my now empty bed that has not been empty for almost a year and the scent of her floral body wash clung to the sheets. This hurt too much. Maybe it was time to just go back to regular friends, if that was even possible.