The Long Way Back

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Chapter 4

"Hey you in there?" Blake said from behind my door.

'Yup," I answered but he'd already entered.

"So, it really wasn't that bad was it?" Blake said laughing. I would be okay for Blake, I reminded myself.

"Yeah, it was great, everyone seems... nice." I said, forcing a smile. Everything did go okay, I just really didn't wanna be there.

I have social anxiety. That's what terrified me about school, not the actual school. In fact I loved learning, it was the masses of people that made me wary.

Well not just wary, it was the masses of people that petrified me.

That was the reason Blake worried so much. In the past I'd had panic attacks so bad I couldn't breathe and blacked out. Whenever that did happen Blake wouldn't leave my side for weeks. He was and had always been my protector.

People made me nervous, for no real reason.

It was simply the way I was. I didn't know where it originated from. I'd just always had it and always been extremely introverted.

So, that being said I wasn't about to mention to Blake how I nearly broke down several times from how panicked I got.

I was used to it. Used to hiding. I was being overly dramatic, problematic. I should be over my panic attacks by now.

But I wasn’t.

Blake sat down on my bed beside me.

"Yeah they were. Honestly, I was scared I wasn't gonna make many friends easy." Blake admitted.

"Blake you're like the most sociable, bubbly person i have ever met, how could you not make friends?" I said laughing.

"Thanks, i guess. Haha well I should go, just wanted to check up on ya." Blake said, turning around to walk out. "Moms in her room by the way, I saw her earlier...seemed alright. Well for her anyway."

"K, that's good. Night Blake."

"Night little sis." Blake said smiling warmly as he walked out the door.

Honestly, sometimes i didn't understand how Blake could be that genuinely nice.He cared about absolutely everybody, perhaps too much sometimes.

Siblings were supposed to argue, that's what they did.

But that simply wasn't us, never had been. Blake was extremely protective of me, I loved that he cared that much and I couldn't be more thankful for such a great brother.

I'd been lying on my bed staring at the ceiling for an hour now. It just wasn't working, i wasn't going to sleep anytime soon.

Thoughts were running rampant in my head at a rate that forced me to be unable to even squeeze any notions of sleeping away.

I think subconsciously I knew that I didn't want to sleep because I knew what happened the moment I closed my eyes.

Well, it was 2 o'clock in the morning and everyone else was asleep, I figured I wouldn't really be missed.

I got up, threw my sweats and converse on and climbed out my window.

What better time for an adventure?

Doing something like this wasn't unusual for me at all. In fact it was almost a regular thing. But i hadn't had any time to look around our neighbourhood since we moved in, so now at 2 o'clock in the morning was just the right time.

I got down from my window relatively easy, considering I used to climb mountains. Looking around it was dark, but not enough to be creepy, the streetlights actually make it okay. Peaceful sort of.

I set off down the street, looking for anything but nothing really in particular. I knew I saw an old park down the road, so I headed there. Maybe sitting on the swings for a while would clear my head.

It wasn't very far to the park, only a couple minutes walk and I found it with ease.

I finally got there and saw somebody else there too. Someone sitting alone on the swings. Who went to a park alone at 2 in the morning? Well I guess I did.But still…

He was crouched over holding his stomach. In pain? I couldn't really tell, but he definitely looked upsetI couldn't make out who it was, it was dark and I could only see a silhouette.

Me being the completely reckless person I was, somehow had a gut feeling that he wasn't some serial killer so I walked up to him and sat on the swing beside him

He was so out of it he didn't even notice my coming. I coughed lightly to announce myself and break the silence.

"H-hello?" I said.

I finally broke him out of his trance and he looked my way, I gasped not from fear but shock. It was Colby, the first person I met here.

"Daisy?" He said confusion lacing his hoarse voice.

"Yeah." I laughed shyly looking down. "Well n-no it's M-mellie...but yeah *aha*."

"What the hell are you doing here in the middle of the night? It's like 1 in the morning." Colby snapped.

"Well it's 2 a-actually and .... I couldn't sleep.” “Anyway, I guess I c-could a-ask you the exact same question." I said diverting the question.

" neither." He said quickly. Almost too quickly, before he straightened up and took his arms off his stomach. He winced, but tried to play it off. I caught it though. He was hurt.

"Are you okay?" I said suddenly filled with worry for him.

"Yeah, I'm fine...I'll be fine."I really couldn't tell if he was saying it to me or himself.

"Okay, but ... you can talk to me if you want to, you know." " I wouldn't judge." I added with a fake laugh hoping to lighten the already somber mood. I knew the feeling, not wanting to talk about my... troubles. He could tell me when he was ready.

We sat there in silence for a while, it wasn't awkward silence but we were just enjoying each other's company.

"Do you ever just feel that the whole world is working against you?" He me out of the blue. All the time. But before I had a chance to reply he kept going. I was strangely glad he felt he could trust me even though we barely knew each other.

"Like nothing ever goes right, no matter how much you want it to. Everyone either thinks I'm a cocky, arrogant bastard or a player, but no one ever sees me as me." " I know it sounds cheesy, but i don't think anybody knows me. Not really." He sounded broken, hopeless.

I was surprised he was actually confiding in me though, we had just met. I guess in some ways that actually helped. Sometimes talking to a complete stranger was much easier than a friend.

"I t-think the only person that b-bothers to get to know me is my brother. And well he's my twin so he didn't r-really have a choice.”

I look down.

“N-not that i tell him what I'm f-feeling half the time cause then he would w-worry, and I won't, no I c-can't burden anyone else with my messiness." I corrected it.

He just looked at me. Like right in my eyes. Right at me, with the strangest expression. I couldn't read it though. Awe? Understanding?

Suddenly my embarrassment came rushing right back tenfold. "S-sorry ... I s-shouldn't have said...all that. It was stupid, i was stupid." I said stumbling over my words.

"Forget abou-" i started only to be interrupted. "No, don't be sorry. Not at all. I don't think anyone's ever really been that honest with me before. It was nice...I liked it." I smiled.

Changing the subject I suddenly pointed up to the sky. "Look there's a shooting star."

"Oh yeah, make a wish."

I closed my eyes and did just that. i mightn't be very superstitious but who wouldn't make a wish? If even for the slight possibility of it coming true.

"Whatcha wish for?" Blake asked me. "Now I can't tell you that, then it wouldn't come true." I said jokingly.

“Fair point.” He agrees.

An hour or so more passed of us simply enjoying each other’s company and talking about the randomness topics, but also some deep questions.

We somehow managed to evade any personal questions and also any small talk.

Which i was thankful for.

I hate small talk. It gives me anxiety. I’d much prefer if someone wants to get honest and vulnerable and weird for a little bit.

It’s hard to find that with anybody now. Our world is filled with millions of mouths that talk far too much, but never have anything to say.

"We should get going soon." Colby says.

"Yeah...a few more minutes. I'm not ready to go back just yet."

"Okay." He replied.

" You know when i was younger, wherever i was in the world I used to sit at night and watch the stars,you know that wherever you are in the world you can still fit the entire moon behind your thumb." "It kinda makes you feel important, like we're a part of something that big, infinite even."

Colby just smiled at me, not in a mocking way because of my random comments but his smile actually lit up his entire face. I quickly decided that that was now one my favourite sights in the entire world. "Yeah i guess it does."

" You said wherever you were in the world." Colby stated. "Have you been to many places?"

"Yeah, pretty much everywhere. We've travelled ever since a month after me and Blake were born. Blakes my twin, if you couldn't already guess. Most couples want to travel before kids, but not my parents. *Haha* No, they wanted us to see the world. I've never been to a real school, I've always been homeschooled. But i guess that's all over, I'm here to stay." I didn't elaborate on why but i didn't want to share that yet. I wasn't even really my tale to tell.

"I wish I'd travelled the world. I was born here in England, I've lived in Devon my whole life. It's where my mum was from." Was? "You feel trapped sometimes you know? Stuck in such a small town. I'm gonna get out of here the moment I can." He said with a sudden burst of determine, as though he would do it if it was the last thing he did.

"That's a good plan." I said back. "I couldn't imagine what it must be like to be stuck in one town for your entire life. The world has much to see."

"Then maybe one day you could show me it." Colby suggested with an all too familiar smirk.

"Maybe." I answered, almost unsure of his insinuation. I was glad I at least made him smile again.

“You stopped stuttering.” Colby stated in a tone that sounded much more like a question.

“Yea.” I whispered shyly. “I kinda just do it when I’m nervous around people.”

“Well then I’m flattered.” Colby teased. “Anyway we should really head back now."

He got up off the swing and put out a hand out to help me. "Come on, I wouldn't be a gentleman if i didn't walk you home." He smiled.

“That's okay, i didn't think you were one anyway.” I teased him.

“Huh?! I have no clue why on earth you would think that.” Colby shrugs with a cheeky smirk.

This really was a random meet up now that I'm thinking about it. Who randomly meets a guy in a park at 2 in the morning?

"Anyway sure, but you really don't have to." i said as i took his outstretched hand.

I didn't want to come across as rude or something for making him walk me home.

I suddenly became extremely aware of our current position. We stood side by side as his large calloused hand encompassed mine entirely making it seem minute in comparison.

"Why of course i do." He answered in mock disgust at the suggestion of such a thing.

"Okay... if you insist." I said as a slight blush made its way upon my face.

I led him out of the park and back down the street, heading to my house.

"I didn't know you lived around here. I live just down the street" He stated. "Yeah we just moved a couple of weeks ago. I live just down that street too."

Something seems to click for him because he gasped. "Omy... I think you're my neighbour. A family just moved in there recently." He said lightly laughing.

"Omy." *Ahah*

"I haven't really been out much so I wouldn't have noticed." I said.

"Well I'm glad we've finally met." He said with a genuine smile. "You're surprisingly easy to talk to Daisy."

"Thanks." I replied genuinely flattered by the compliment. Its certainly not very often anybody actually says that to me.

"Well... we're here." He said. I was so distracted by him I hadn't even realised. Yet again, "Give me your phone." He demands.

"Okay?" I answered, baffled at his reasoning.

He took out his own as well and a few seconds later handed it back with a cocky smirk plastered on his face.

"Well, Goodnight daisy."

"Goodnight Col." I said breaking our still intertwined hands.

I walked up to my garden but not before I turned to take one last look.

I then climbed back up into my window and threw myself down on my bed.

A few minutes passed until I heard my phone ding.

Colby: Sametime tomorrow? ;)

I burst out laughing, of course that's what he did. He put his number on my phone. Well what else would he really have done with my phone? I thought. Sometimes my own stupidity amazes me.

Mellie : Sure ahah, I mean i guess i have nothing better to do at 2 in the morning.

Colby: Sure, sure like you wouldn't love to spend your time with me, I mean it's an honoured privilege to be in my company.

Mellie: ok sure sweetheart, whatever helps you sleep at night :)

I really like having someone to banter with, like this. I'd never really had anybody.

Colby: ok fine you win, Goodnight Daisy.

Mellie: Goodnight Col.

And with that I fell asleep only moments later with a clear mind.

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