Say It Isn't So

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Chapter 20

M A X

Spending time with Cain Harvey when he wasn't being obnoxious or arrogant was an eye opener. True to his word, he behaved like a gentleman, and even let me put on Criminal Minds.

"Is this realistic?" I ask, laying in the crook of his arm.

"Hmm?"

I look up into his cloudy eyes, which are trained on me. My heart skips a beat when he gives me a lazy smile, his fingers stroking the side of my face as he does.

"This," I murmur, nodding to the screen. "Is it like the real thing?"

Cain nods with understanding, before frowning. I'm trying not to stare at him, but he is truly mesmerising. He is leaning his head against the pillow beneath him, and he seems so relaxed.

"Not really. There's not that many hot people for a start," he snorts. "Most of the time people have barely slept, and we are surviving on caffeine, nicotine or both. It's hard as fuck sometimes."

"But do you love it?" I press, wanting to hear his passion, his excitement.

Cain smiles then, and turns his attention back to me. His eyes are breathtaking, and I'm desperate to kiss him. The only problem is, I know if we kiss again, we will end up in the bedroom, and I wouldn't be able to face Andy if I slept with Cain.

"I'm good at what I do," Cain says nonchalantly. "I'm perceptive. I also get bored easily, so this job is perfect for me. I'm not as dedicated as Harry though."

"Harry's first wife is his job," I quip, and Cain laughs, his fingers lacing with mine. I turn my head away, but it's too late: Cain has his arms wrapped around me. He manoeuvres around, sliding me in front of him as he spoons me from behind. It's stupidly comfortable, and my God he smells amazing. His hand brushes my hip as he settles behind me, his large bulk clearly squashed behind me on the sofa.

"I've always said you can't do our job and have a relationship," Cain mumbles into my ear, kissing my cheek. "Yet here I am, with the one woman who can't stand me-"

"I just told you I liked you, stop attention seeking," I interrupt, slapping his hand that lay on my hip.

"Huh, I'm gonna just put it out there, Maxie, I think getting to know each other could be dangerous."

His voice was a whisper above my ear, and my skin shivered with goosebumps when he leaned forward, close to my cheek. I turn slightly, so our lips are hovering close together.

"Why?" I whisper, knowing full well that we were far too close for comfort. Cain leaned closer, his woody scent intoxicating me.

"What if…," he smirked when I shivered involuntarily, his hand slipping around my waist as I turned to face him fully. "What if we were perfect for each other?"

I hesitate at first, deciding to see if Cain could focus on the conversation at hand despite our proximity.

"Mr I Don't Date? Could there be anyone out there for you?"

Cain's gaze sweeps over me then, and I'm a wreck. My heart is thundering in my chest, and I'm praying he just loses control. Even if it proves me right, I'd enjoy every second of him fucking up.

"No, I don't think there's anyone out there for me," Cain answers honestly, tilting my head towards his. "But maybe there's someone right in front of me."

"You're a charmer," I whisper, reaching up to stroke his face hesitantly.

"My mother has always said that," Cain smiles, turning his lips to kiss my hand. "Apparently, I get it from my father."

"I bet you're a right Mummys boy," I tease, as his eyes crinkle with amusement.

"I get on with both of them, actually. My Mum seems to think my biological clock is ticking-"

I snort then, and he holds back his own laughter, continuing with his tale.

"When I told her about you, she nearly put forward baby names."

I sat up on one elbow then, my mouth slightly open with disbelief.

"Did you just say you told your Mum about me?"

Cain slips his hand around the back of my neck, his eyes drinking me in as though he was trying to commit my features to memory.

"Yeah. Can you blame me?"

He moves me closer, and I don't resist. I'm expecting another kiss that invokes a fire within my core, but Cain takes me by surprise. The kiss is soft, almost teasing. I have to coax his tongue to play with mine, and he doesn't make a move to intensify things between us. I'm not even sure how long we kissed for, but every time we tried to stop, he kissed me again, creating another wave of delight between our lips.

"How do I know you're not just doing this because you want the sexual part of us?" I blurt out, when we finally break for air. The chemistry between us was dynamite, but I knew Cain had that with many women. I wanted more.

"Come on, Maxie," Cain says with annoyance. "Are you ever going to give me a break?"

"Cain, I'm just asking you a question," I reply hotly, flopping back down onto the sofa. "One minute all you want is sex, then you want to try dating me?"

"Why is that so hard to believe?" Cain frowns, his posture stiffening.

I drop my eyes as Cain sits up, removing his arm from beneath me with a huff.

"Because! Your history? Your reputation? Anyway, why me?"

"Now who is attention seeking?" Cain grins, shaking his head. "Alright, I'll admit I'm stupidly attracted to you. The sex is insane, and you are just…" he whistles as he examines me briefly.

"Cuddly?" I tease, using his own words against him.

"I was trying to make you laugh."

"Instead you looked like a pig."

Our eyes meet then, and he tugs me over to him, complaining that I'm just being mean.

"Out of the two of us, I'm not seeing anyone else," Cain points out quietly, his head dropping to my shoulder. He dots open mouthed kisses along it, and I turn my face to his, my eyes eagerly seeking his.

"Do you want to?" I ask, my heart hammering in my chest. Cain looks at me, his head tilting to the side as he frowns.

"No, I just want to get to know you," he admits. "What are you afraid of? What are your dreams?"

I'd never heard Cain talk this way, and I can’t operate my brain accordingly. He is gazing at me, his full lashes sweeping across his cheek with every blink. Why did he have to have such beautiful lashes?

"I'm not a fan of balloons," I finally say, aware Cain is trying to keep a straight face. "I don't like the sound they make when they pop!"

"Okay, no balloons," Cain purses his lips together, before letting me continue.

"I guess I want the fairytale romance, " I admit, avoiding his gaze. "I loved what you and I had, but then it just felt…"

"Empty?" Cain offers, his voice barely above a whisper. "I know what you mean. I was the one that wanted to stay over with you, remember?"

I nodded, a lump in my throat. I knew that I'd pushed Cain away on purpose for fear of him messing with me. Cain seems to sense my discomfort, reaching up to plant a kiss on my head.

"Tea?" He offers, rising up from the sofa. I nod gratefully, tugging my legs beneath me as I watched him navigate my kitchen. He looked so comfortable, his eyes glancing back over at me every now and then. "Sugar?"

"No, I'm sweet enough," I call out, as he smirks.

"Damn right you are."

Cain strides over, handing me my tea before we sit in a comfortable silence.

"I'm scared of commitment, " Cain admits. "The whole control thing? It's not for me."

I study him silently, my core screaming for me to just devour him, right then and there.

"But with me?" I ask tentatively.

Cain studies me for a moment, his jaw clenching as he rubs his finger beneath his chin.

"Honestly, I don't know," he says quietly. "I just know that you make me feel things I've never felt before."

My breath hitches in my throat when he swallows. Why was he so handsome?

"But you know I want a relationship," I say slowly, taking note of the way his eyes narrow slightly at the use of the word relationship. I was having trouble believing that he would be able to commit, enjoy or even attempt a relationship with me or anyone else.

"I do know that. Which is why I'm here. I don't know if I can be that guy, but I don't want to lose you if I don't try."

He leans forward, kissing my lips softly.

"So try I must."

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