To Be Loved

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My new life

I walked behind Ryan as he led me around the house. He kept an emotionless mask on his face as we walked around. The Ryan I knew had gone and was replaced by a monster.

I keep wondering why it is that I am never happy. Is it my fault? Did I unknowingly do something that made me deserve this? Am I never to be loved?...

People say that things once broken can be fixed. My heart had broken like glass and had somehow been fixed by Ryan. But he ended up being the one who broke it again. And I believe no one can fix me again. Because glass shards cut you when you try to handle them and my heart has become irreparable.

I was woken from my thoughts when Ryan suddenly stopped by the kitchen. I looked up to him and he looked at me with disgust before saying,

" You will be living in this house as my slave and not my wife and hence you are to do everything I tell you to. You don't address me by my name. You either call me sir or master. The stuff you kept in that store will be kept there. You are not allowed to use them. Slaves don't deserve luxury. There are some clothes kept in the basement. You will wear that when you work. You are beneath me and are not allowed to look me in the eye. You will always be respectful while talking to me or any of my guests. Now moving on to your chores,

You are to cook all meals and clean the entire house everyday. If I find any room untidy I will punish you as I please. There is a cook who comes by. Her name is Theresa and you will have her help on some days. You are not allowed to go outside for any reason.if you need to get something from the market Theresa will get it for you. Any questions?"

"No sir" I said without looking into his eyes. I know better than to disobey him. After all , I had learned my lesson from my uncle...

"Good. Now go dress in the clothes I have provided and start making dinner."

With that he walked away leaving me alone in the kitchen.

I went to my 'room' and found what he meant. Kept by the door was 2 pairs of ratty old jeans and 3 tshirts with either holes or weird stains on them.

I had expected something like that so it didn't come as much of a surprise. I'm just glad that he didn't make me wear something revealing.

I went back to the kitchen and looked around. The kitchen was well stocked and everything was kept in order. I quickly decided to make something simple and started on dinner.

As I thought about my life until now I realise that my future was looming in front of me in the form of a big questions mark. I had no idea how my life was going to turn out. The bright and happy future I had seen in front of me this morning had turned to dust in just a few seconds.

I have always wanted to know why.. why is it that my parents had to die? Why is it that the innocent five year old me had to go through that pain? Why is it that my uncle and aunt hated me? Why is fate so cruel to me? Just..why?

Never in my life had I hurt anyone. I had never even thought bad about someone. Then why is it that the world hates me?

I had been crushed by my parents death. Then my uncle and aunt happened and I was destroyed again. I had mended my broken heart piece by piece only to be stabbed again by Ryan. If I am only going to get hurt again then why bother fixing it? My life had become pointless and the people who were supposed to love me rejoiced for it.

I heard the oven beep indicating that the food is ready. I set the table and went to call Ryan. I walked up to his door and knocked.

He opened the door with a frown and asked,

"What?"

"Dinner is ready sir" my voice was barely above a whisper.

"I'll come down in a minute. You may leave."

Saying that he shut the door in my face leaving me alone in the hallway. I went back to the kitchen and started doing the dishes. A few minutes later Ryan came down and sat down. I went and started to serve him. Once it was done I went back to doing the dishes but was called back by him.

He looked like he was about to burst from anger and was completely red in the face.

"What is this?" He asked in a cool voice contradicting how he looked.

"Spaghetti..sir?"

"And you think that it is good enough to eat?"

I stayed silent not knowing what to say. I hadn't found anything wrong with it.

"ANSWER ME!!"

"yes sir?" I tried to sound firm but it came out as a question.

Suddenly I heard a loud notice and felt today's dinner making its way down my face.

Ryan had thrown the food in my face .

" If you think that is good then you and I have different definitions for the word good. I will not tolerate this type of cooking again and it will do you good to learn something from Theresa when she comes!! Since you messed up even such a small job you don't deserve to eat. You won't have anything to eat unless I give you permission! understand?!!"

"Yes sir" I said with tears in my eyes.

He stormed out of the room and soon as he went out I ran to the sink and washed my face. The gravy had gone in my eyes and it felt like they were on fire.

I somehow managed to cool my eyes although they were still red and went back to my room. There was not even a mattress there and and it felt like I had stepped into a refrigerator. I managed to make a bed of sorts from old linen I found in the kitchen and cuddled up by a wall. My stomach grumbled as I hadn't eaten since our reception.

But hey...that's nothing new

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