To Be Loved

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Broken again

My body screamed for me to stop as I added the last touches to today's dinner. The bruises I got that morning throbbed with pain due to over exertion. My stomach was trying to claw itself with hunger and I was barely able to stand straight.

It took me more than 5 hours to clean this monstrosity of a mansion from top to bottom. By the time I had finished cleaning I had forgotten about dinner and then hurried to prepare it.

I can only hope I haven't added salt instead of sugar in the pudding...

I like to compare my life to that of a flower. When a flower first blooms it is so beautiful and so full of life, inviting the whole world to come and take a whiff of its sweet fragrance. But that only lasts for a few days. Once it reaches full bloom , it slowly starts wilting, losing its color and fragrance and one day turns into dust. The same people who worshiped its beauty walk away, forgetting about the happiness it had once brought them. The period in my life where I brought people happiness had ended the day my parents died. The day my uncle took me in I started wilting and soon I shall too turn into dust. Forgotten.

The burning of my body once again reminded me of this as I set the table and later collapsed into the kitchen floor. My muscles sighed in relief as I sat down for the first time in hours. As i heaved in relief I was met with the sight of Ryan walking into the kitchen with a frown on his face.

"What are you still doing here?? I have got some clothes for you to wear tonight so get ready and come serve us. The guests will be here soon. If i am satisfied you may have something to eat tonight." he said and went out leaving me alone.

I got up and went down to the basement and took a bath before looking for the clothes Ryan was talking about. I almost cried out loud when I saw what he had kept for me.

The dress could barely be called one. It looked like someone had pieced together all the remaining pieces from making other dresses and made this ...thing.. to cover just what needed to be covered. The skirt barely reached my thighs and would ride up if I sat down or bend over. The chest part barely covered my breasts and it looked like everything was about to spill out. A pair of black heels which looked like some one had made it to torture someone were kept on the floor.

I held in my tears and got into the dress trying to cover as much of my body as possible. I struggled to stand upright in my heels as I tied my hair into a quick bun and didn't even bother with makeup. The bruises on my body were clearly visible but there was nothing I could do about it.

I heard the bell ring as I stumbled around with the shoes and went to open the door. In front of me stood three men in their fifties and a woman who looked to be in her twenties. As they came in I heard a sound behind me and turned around to see Ryan coming down the stairs. He greeted them with a wide smile and ushered them inside.

As the men passed me I was gifted with sleazy grins and lust filled eyes as they shamelessly roamed their eyes over me. Their gaze burned me like someone had poured hot liquid metal over me. Ryan was oblivious to this as he talked to the woman who had come with them.

They went into Ryan's office to conduct their meeting and I went to the kitchen and set the table for dinner.

A few hours later they came out with wide smiles on their faces and everyone seemed to be in a good mood. Ryan led them all to the dining room and they all sat down to eat. As the man whom Ryan had previously referred to as Mr Wilkins passed me I felt his hand grab my butt and squeeze it in front of all these people.Tears filled my eyes but I refrained from speaking out loud thinking of what Ryan would do if I disturbed them.

As I served the first course, I saw that the woman had sat next to Ryan and that she was moving closer to him every few minutes. She kept rubbing her hands all over Ryan's arm and kept giggling for no reason. Seeing me looking at them Ryan smirked before turning to the woman and moving closer to her. They kept whispering in each others ears and and smiling as I served them, holding back tears.

Every time I neared one of the other men they would either grab my butt or make crude remarks under their breaths. At one point Mr Wilkins dropped his spoon and when I bent down to pick it he tried to pull my face towards his crotch. I pushed him away with as much force as I could and dashed away from him. Turning to Ryan I saw that he had seen the entire incident transpiring but he simply gave me a grin before going back to his conversation with that woman.

It was at that moment that my heart was broken again. I realized that he didn't care what happened to me. I doubt he would have raised a finger if that bastard had raped me in front of him.

No one cared.....

As I served the final course I was surprised to see Ryan getting up and walking towards the kitchen before coming back with a covered bowl in his hands. He sat down and then set the bowl by his feet.

"Dani. come here." he said.

I went there with reluctant steps and stood by his side waiting foe him to continue.

" I am pleased with your behavior today. You may have something to eat." he said

I gave a small smile of happiness at that.


" Kneel."

The smile left my face without leaving a trace at that moment. I stood there in stunned silence and this must have angered him as he then suddenly stood up and pushed me to my knees by pressing down on my neck. I fell to the floor with a thud as Ryan used his leg to kick away the cloth that had covered the bowl.

As soon as the cloth was removed I was hit by the stench of raw meat and some sort of gravy,

Dog food.

I tried to stop myself from throwing up at the revolting smell and pushed back against his hand to get my face away from it. Ryan just increased the pressure on my neck and almost made me fall face first into the stinking meat.

" Eat" he said.

I have been through many horrors throughout my life. But none of them could compare to what I was feeling at that moment when Ryan, my husband, the man who I had once grown to love and believed loved me too, forced me to bow down at his feet and eat food that no human would eat as the rest of his friends watched on with gleeful expressions.

When the pressure on my neck became unbearable and my nose was almost touching the meat I finally gave in. I took a bite of what was in front of me.

As the first bite entered my mouth and I bit down on it, the bike juices coated my tongue, threatening to bring up what little whater I had I my stomach. The tears were now freely flowing as I swallowed the piece of meat in my mouth . I could feel Ryan's bosy shaking as he and his associates laughed at the sight in front of them.

He made me finish every last piece of revolting flesh in that bowl before finally letting me up leaving me to dash to the bathroom as I threw up every bite I had eaten. I sat on the floor, loud sobs ripping through my body as I clutched my stomach in pain. After a while of retching I realised I was no longer throwing up food but something else...


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