Beep. Beep. Beep.
The steady beat of the of the heart monitor and sound of the rain hitting the panes of the hospital window makes the melody that wakes me up from what seems like a very long sleep. The harsh light hitting my eyes make me cringe but I'm too weak to bring my hands up to cover them. My mouth feels like its been stuffed with cotton and the dryness makes my throat ache.
White walls and cold air greets me as I finally manage to open my eyes. A dark figure sitting by my bed captures my attention and I turn towards it. Mason's head lies on my hand and my lips tilt slightly at the sight of his tired figure.
I manage to remove my hand from his grasp and tentatively touch his dark locks. My hands run through his soft hair and he gives a soft sigh. I don't say anything, just continue to stroke his head as I stare out of the window.
The rain had now intensified, the drops of water looking like threads falling from heaven. Drops drip down the window pane like silent tears that remain forever unseen. I ignore the pain across my body from cuts I made myself and let the rain relax me.
I had always preferred the rain over sunny days. At least then I wouldn't have to hide my tears...they would merge with the rain and I could finally cry without others seeing.
I saw them today...well I think I did.
I was surrounded by darkness. It clung to me like second skin, chasing me as I tried running. But it seemed like I was running through an endless maze, the end seemed so close...yet so far.
Where was I?
Silent screams echoed around me sending shivers down my body. The word frightened suddenly has a new meaning as I crouch down clutching my ears. Tears fall down my face as I clench my eyes, trying to drown out the shadows around me.
Then suddenly I feel a hand on my shoulder. I flinch back at the contact but slowly open my eyes when I hear the voice that always comforted me when I was afraid of the monster under my bed. The comforting words drown out the screams and I look up to see the sight I had longed to see one last time.
"Shhh...It's okay sweetie...we're here.."
Her arms wrap around me in a protective embrace as I cling to her warm body. The sounds of my loud sobbing and her soothing words echo around me and then I hear another deep voice.
"Everything will be fine my princess...daddy's here.."
My dads strong arms engulfs both me and mom and we all sit in each others hands as I cry my eyes out.
I cry for my lost childhood.
I cry for the abuse I went through.
I cry for the pain I went through.
I cry for the betrayal I went through.
When my loud sobs calm into small sniffs and I finally open my eyes, I see that we were no longer in the dark void but that we were sitting in a beautiful field. Crispy green grass crunches under me as I move and the scent of the thousands of flowers around us wraps me in a sweet embrace. The sky was the bluest I had seen and clouds like large cotton balls hides the sun from our view casting a cool shadow across us. The song of the crickets helped calm me down as my parents made themselves comfortable around me. I laid my head on my mom's lap and she stroked my hair as my dad scooted closer to us and sat next to mom.
" Why did you leave me mom...." My voice broke as I asked this. My emotions clogging my voice.
Mom and dad both have tears running down their faces and look completely shattered but they still manage to smile and mom says,
"Our time had come baby...we had to go. But yours is not yet over. You still have an amazing life ahead of you...so why did you do it?" Her voice breaks when she mentions my cutting episode.
"I had to escape mom...it was the only way" My voice is a mere whisper but I know they heard me.
"No princess...you are stronger than that. You don't need to depend on others . You are an amazing and strong woman all on your own and we couldn't be prouder of you. You don't need the cliche knight in the shining armor...be your own hero." Dad's words hit me somewhere deep inside and I realize that that was what I had been doing.
I was waiting for someone to come and save me while I suffered. I kept thinking that I was stuck in my situation because others never helped me. I kept waiting for someone else to help me and didn't bother to help myself. That was my biggest mistake.
"I'm sorry dad..." Regret for my actions took over me as I thought about my reckless action.
"Don't worry baby...as I said your time is not here yet...You still have a wonderful life waiting for you."
"B-But didn't I die?" Mom and dad smiled ruefully.
"No baby...so now you have to go back. Always know that we love you and we are very very proud of you. Nothing will change that okay? "
"N-No please don't leave me again...please...." I cling to my dad as they get up. They both kiss my cheek and start moving away from me.
Our tears are now flowing uncontrollably as they start walking away from me. I start to chase after them but something prevents me from going forward as I lose my parents all over again.
"It will all soon be okay honey...We love you!" My parents turn around giving me one last glance as a white light surrounds us. My vision is blurry from all the tears but I manage to catch a final glimpse of them.
"Also....keep that Mason guy around!! He's a good guy!!" My mom yells out as they disappear.
"No way!! you're not dating till you are 60 young lady!!" my dad's voice follows. I give a sad chuckle as the vanish before my eyes, leaving me alone in the world again.
A small sigh reaches my ears as I feel Mason moving under my hand. He stiffens when he feels my hand moving and then jumps up straight. When he's sees me awake his eyes go comically wide and he starts fussing over me and scolding me at the same time.
"Mal!! Thank God you're awake!! Do you know how worried I was ?? What were you thinking??!!"
All I do is smile sadly as he gets me a glass of water. Once I finished it and he finally calms down, he sits down drenching the room in silence.
A few minutes later his regret filled voice asks,
"Why did you do it?"
I remain silent.
"Damn it Mal why did you do that?? Why would you do that to yourself??Don't you care about yourself?? Did you even stop to think? About yourself or Nico or Angela..or me?" the last words come out as a whisper.
I give a sad smile and grab the edge of the loose shirt I was wearing.
"What are you-"
His eyes go wide as he sees the canvas that is my body. Old and new scars combine, displaying the story of my life better than any words could. Ryan and my uncle were the artists who painted my pain. It was tragically beautiful.
"What's another scar Mason? I was already broken."
But not for long.
My face remains emotionless as I say this but the same could not be said for Mason. Tears fall down his cheeks and he doesn't even bother to wipe them away. He just continues to stare at me with a broken expression but then he explodes.
" Your past does not define you Mal...your actions do. You are the most amazing woman I have ever met and I don't care what others say. Do you think your parents would want to see you like this? That your baby would have wanted to see you like this?"
"What baby?" My voice even scares me.
Mason has that deer caught in a headlight face as he stammers trying to answer me.
"WHAT BABY MASON?!?"
"I-I..Y-You were pregnant Mallory...when we found you, you were pregnant. B-But you lost the baby...."
A mixture of emotions pass through me like a moving train. Happiness that I would be a mother, the despair of the knowledge that I couldn't protect my child, Thankfulness that my child didn't have to go through the horrors I did...knowledge that he or she was the result of rape...but I would have loved him or her no matter what. I would have finally had someone to love me and me to love unconditionally.
Most of all...betrayal.
Mason betrayed me by not telling me this. A lie by omission is also a lie. I trusted him...and once again I had been betrayed.
"AND YOU DIDN'T THINK TO TELL ME THIS MASON??"
"I-I didn't want you to go through more pain than you had Mal...I-I'm sorry..."
"Get out" All trace of my hurt had been wiped from my voice.
Well that was interesting...
I hope you liked the chapter. You better like it cz I used the time I should be using to write my pending notes to write this and am probably gonna regret this later haha. 😜
So how was it??
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Also I republished the last chapter so those who haven't voted for it pls do...or not *shrugs*
Thanks for reading guys!!