hello, it’s me from the other side
goodbye, you made false promises
see you soon, it’s too bad I lied
I’m fine, it’s none of your business
Even though they weren’t really together, nothing really changed. It had almost always been like this, but worse. Back then Dad rarely ever came home, not even on holidays. He was too busy making a name for himself to remember that he had a family that needed more than his money. Then Mom was always screwing around—the scent of sex clung to her like perfume and she was the very definition of ‘party animal’. She used to love me when I was younger, even after the split happened. I was one of the things she specifically requested for among money and properties. I think she started regretting her decision when I turned ten and she realized that I wasn’t something she wanted.
Now Dad came over four times a month and Mom kept her pleasures to a minimum, preferring to only seduce influential figures she could take wealth from—and the ones who knew not to spread word of the affair.
Maybe Trevor fit that mold. He looked like someone who could be rich, an heir to a million dollar fortune or something. But that wasn’t enough to make my mother want to marry him, and I didn’t think she did it for his charm either.
On thing I was sure of though, was that I was no longer a strong enough incentive for my parents to stay together. And no, I don’t say this because I think that they loved me.
They weren’t doing it for me. They never did.
They only made sure I stayed alive so that they wouldn’t have to deal with the reputation of being bad parents. I suppose that they also hoped that I would change and somehow transform into the perfect son they had always wished for overnight.
But I knew I wouldn’t, and I knew that eventually they would too. I had always known that it would only be a matter of time before they got tired of each other and me. Now that it had finally happened, I wasn’t so surprised.
And just before my eighteenth birthday, it’s like they planned it. I didn’t see either of them wanting to take care of me once I was legal. It made me wonder what I would do then. Would I need to start working? Can I still go to Art School? What would my future look like from now on?
I slammed the door behind me and headed straight for the bathroom. I didn’t dare look at the room that had been my protection for so long. I felt like tearing everything down, ripping the wallpapers off and burning all the clothes.
The shards of the mirror crunched under the force of my stomps. I still had my boots on. I was surprised that Mom hadn’t noticed. Or maybe she did and that was why she was so sure that I had been lying.
I sat on the edge of the bathtub and wrapped my arms around myself, trying to keep still.
I was too sick, too hungry and too tired to think of what would happen to me when my father got a new wife, and hence a new heir to his empire. I didn’t want to have to wonder if my mother would simply throw me away when she didn’t need my company anymore.
Right at this moment, I didn’t even want to breathe.
Everything just hurt, so I did the only thing I could.
I sat there quietly and closed my eyes, letting my parents’ conversation wash over me. The bathroom was right over the kitchen and the walls were thin. I could hear their quarrel perfectly.
This time I wasn’t even worried about being caught listening in, I just wanted to know...