Chapter 12: Hurt
Unravel Us Playlist on Spotify.
Song; (Sleeping at last- The Ink from books) & (The Weeknd- Call out my name) & (JVLA- Drama [slowed])
[email protected] @ @~~
The scene before me is familiar.
I feel my body respond to it as though it is real.
I know it’s not.
This is a dream.
Yet, I don’t wake up, I don’t feel the nudge to awaken. I’m simply present here.
My gaze finds the floor, to my boots, where I feel the thump of loud bass.
There’s a voice ringing in the air. It drags and winds itself across the long winding hallway filled with closed doors.
Red neon lights are the only thing that kept this place from total darkness.
I stand, right in the center of it all.
It’s the same dream.
This time, instead of hesitating, instead of fearing what is waiting for me, I walk through the fog and the many doors, already instinctively knowing where I’m headed.
I spot the watercolor painting almost immediately as it forms in front of me. My fingers reach down to the doorknob.
The door swings open with a loud creak.
Total darkness encompasses my vision, but there, within the far distance, I spot a shinning light bulb swinging ominously.
Beneath the light bulb is a girl.
Her red strands glow beneath the brightness of the bulb, her back is turned to me but something about the way she stands there, straight, shoulders rigid, hands too clutched to her sides...
I walked into the room and close the door shut behind me.
Silence spears the atmosphere, with only the sounds of heavy breathing.
Hers or mine, I wasn’t sure.
I blink at that, surprised to hear such a friendly tone come out from a stranger.
Was she... a stranger, though?
“What are you doing over there?” Feeling my feet move on their own accord, I approach her still figure with caution. “Are you waiting for someone?”
"Yes, I am." She turns, slightly, only allowing half her face to reveal itself, but the darkness is still too wide that I can’t make out her features. "I'm waiting for you."
I frown. "Why?"
She takes a moment but I know what will happen next. I've seen it before. She holds out her hand, in the same exact way she does in all my dreams. “...Won’t you join me?”
Won’t you join me?
It’s the same request, the same words, the same feeling, the same everything.
My mind must have conjured up a nightmare version of Rose, using my vulnerability to its advantage.
Well, I won’t falter.
This time, I won’t wake up screaming, I stand firm, feeling my fists clench as I keep walking towards her.
“Why should I?” I demanded. “Why should I join you?”
The distance is closing between us, my hand reached out to clasp at her shoulder. “Why should I-”
“Why else?” The intonation is sharper than a knife.
She turns while my hand is still outstretched and grabs at my wrist, pulling it to her chest where I’m forced up against her.
A gasp escapes from my lips.
The shadow that cast on her features is suddenly gone.
“It’s only a matter of time...”
It’s my face.
It’s my mouth.
Her right eye is a gaping hole of nothing but red flesh and blood. It’s trickling down her cheek, it’s dripping down the floor.
She grins. “...before they put a bullet in your skull too.”
I wake up, slowly, blinking blearily at the darkness that greets me.
It’s still night out, the room is quiet with only the faint whirring of the AC somewhere above us.
Warm arms are around me, Thomas is fast asleep, his breathing gently pulsing by my back.
At the back of my mind, though sleep still plagued my consciousness, the dream is crystal clear.
It’s been a while since I had those types of nightmares.
Now I know it wasn’t my imagination running wild. My subconscious had been screaming at me to connect the dots a long time ago.
I should’ve realized it sooner.
Maybe then, none of this would have happened.
Flashbacks momentarily hindered my ability to breathe.
The explosion, the uncertainty of Hailey’s demise, Elios’s near-death occurrence, Marlen, Rose, my men-
Suddenly, it’s hot.
The duvet feels scratchy, my palms feel sweaty, my body feels uncomfortable, Thomas’s arms feel constricting.
Slowly, I maneuver my limbs from his grasp, loosening his grip on my body so I can face up on the ceiling. My breathing comes out in erratic patterns. I fling my fingers to my throat and held it there, perhaps thinking I could slow it down myself.
My anxiety merely doubles when I can only feel how fast my pulse is beating.
Make it stop.
I turn my body to face Thomas, who is so lost in dreamland, he hadn’t reacted to how much I’ve moved.
He’s always been a person on high alert, but the fact that he was still now let me know, how exhausted he must be.
The pace of my heartbeat is rising faster than I can calm it. It’s crawling up my throat, making it difficult to see hear, much less see.
My current position allowed me to view Thomas from an angle that cast my shadow on his peaceful features.
Here he was, undisturbed, so at peace...
Something deep down inside me, twisted in on itself.
It possessed me, took hold of my body, made my hands move on their own accord, made me crawl on top of him so I had both legs on either side of his hips.
Before I even realize it and my head can make sense of my actions, I’m already on top of him with the blankets pooling by our legs.
I want... I want this feeling to stop.
This suffocating sensation is gripping at my trachea and paralyzing my brain into being unable to think.
Make it stop.
Lifting my right hand, I place it casually on his shirt, feeling the warmth from his skin through the thin material separating us.
I lean down to meet his face, my finger already drawing a line starting from his abdomen, sternum, then chest...
Thomas shifted, his sleep-hazed brain unable to deduce whether he is simply reacting to things in his dream or things in real life.
I tilt my head, curious when he didn’t wake up.
It didn’t deter me, I bent lower and moistened my lips before kissing down on his shirt, starting from the top of his collarbones, following the pathway of my finger from earlier.
He smells good.
It’s refreshing, it’s him, it’s so Thomas.
I’ve left small wet trails. It’s noticeable because when I run my hand down his body once more, I feel it beneath the tips of my fingers.
Something from within Thomas must have felt it too because when he shifts, it is towards my touch as though some part of him couldn’t get enough.
I do it again.
Thomas moves, but this time his lips part.
A soft, but prominent, moan.
From the heir of Graymoore himself.
There’s a bell ringing in my head.
It’s loud and deafening and too much but too little all at the same time.
The abrupt blazing feeling running through my veins made me see stars.
I grab the edge of his shirt and pull it up to reveal his tone stomach.
My fingers touch at the warm skin, and the firmness of his muscles, and the heat they give. I couldn’t help myself.
I bent down again and kiss at his navel, slowly peppering upwards, my hands drawing a circle above his left pec. He is firm beneath my touch, warm beneath my grazes.
I want more.
Unable to stop myself, my tongue darted out. I lick the smooth skin of his toned abs, the veins that make up his blood vessels, the leftover bruises he must have procured during the fire ordeal.
The air is growing hotter, my body feels like it’s about to combust into flames.
Leaning back on my heels, I wipe the edge of my mouth with my sleeve before hoisting the shirt I wore above my head, leaving my breasts free.
Even though the room is dark and I am unable to see Thomas fully, I can still feel him, sense him, touch him. If anything, the darkness has heightened every single molecule in my body to the point that it’s a struggle to even breathe.
I lower my face to the side of his neck, my breath coasting across the skin where his pulse beat. My fingers curl through his hair, my free hand slips down to the waistband of his pants.
Somewhere through my ghostly touches, Thomas stirs awake.
I feel how his muscles tense up, how his hands, unconsciously slide up my thighs.
Before those eyes can flutter open, I latch onto his neck.
I start slow, kissing the area, then my tongue licks a round circle around the area I want to leave my mark. When I’m satisfied I’ve wet the area enough, I suck, hard, hard enough that Thomas jolts at the sensation.
“What...?” His arms clutch at my hips, his grip harsh, having been startled awake.
He takes a moment to understand what’s happening around him, clearly unsure if he was dreaming.
But when he feels how my thighs are squeezing his hips, how my mouth leaves hot trails, how my hand lingers around the waistband of his pants, he is certain it is not.
He exhales, shakily, slowly... “Ginger, what are you doing?”
I don’t answer him, I suck, again and again, leaving spotted marks, leaving evidence that I’m the one that did this.
It got to the point that I feel Thomas shift his knees beneath me clearly trying to alleviate the pressure growing between his legs.
I’ve gotten him fired up.
I can feel it in the way his body trembled, his hands sweat, and his breathing becomes loud.
Sitting back up, I release his skin with a loud chu, my tongue slipping out to wet my lips. He is still beneath me, still, but not calm.
We stay silent like this, only the sounds of our breathing permeate the air.
He raises his hands and cup at my cheeks. One thumb drags itself down the side of my face. “Why are you awake?”
Even without fully understanding, Thomas always knew when something was wrong.
This both frustrated and elated me.
On one side, I’m glad he asked, on another side, I’m irritated that he did.
Not letting others figure out what’s going on in my head was something I had an advantage over, but when it came to him, everything always flies out the window.
So in an attempt to ignore his probing, I start to shift in my position, using my knees to squeeze at his thighs as my hands lower themselves to touch at the skin above his waistband.
“Did you have a nightmare?” He continues to question, seemingly oblivious of my advances.
I grit my teeth instantly, as aggravation filled my veins.
No, it wasn’t a nightmare.
It was a warning.
This feeling hasn’t gone away. It’s still there, it’s increasing, it’s boiling at the pit of my stomach, it’s making it hard to concentrate much less give me the ability to respond-
Grasping his hands on my cheeks, I drag them down to my exposed chest so he could palm at my breasts.
He hitches in a breath, startled by my forwardness.
I hold them there, not moving an inch.
Please touch me.
This seemed to go on for hours when really it had only been seconds.
I’m so sensitive that when he finally takes control, I involuntarily shiver.
His fingers are warm and firm and filled with curiosity, but at the same time, I also feel his growing need, that familiar hunger that’s consume both of us before.
A year and a half of being apart can awaken anyone’s primal urges and right now... right now he wants what’s in front of him, and what’s in front of him, is me.
He sits up abruptly, lips inches from my breasts in a position so close that I can feel his breath as it grazes my flesh.
“Look at me,”
He says, gazing deep into my eyes as his fingers knead at the skin, at my pebbling nipples, at the warmness that’s gathering between us.
When he cups my breasts and squeezes, I muffled a whimper and tightened my legs.
Thomas doesn’t let up, he leans forward and tugs at my right nipple gently between his teeth, the soft action makes me arch my back to his touch, allowing his lips to descend on the skin above my heart.
My fingers run from the front of his hair all the way down so I can hug him close.
His tongue leaves wet trails and hot promises, his hair tickles my chin.
Through the dreary haze and lust-filled atmosphere, I hear his husky voice somewhere beneath me.
“Do you want me?”
Do I want him? I don’t know, I don’t know what I want, I don’t know what I’m doing.
I just needed... something, because I can’t feel anything.
I can’t feel the pain from my bruises, I can’t feel the pleasure, I can’t feel anything.
I can only feel emptiness.
Do I want him?
Overwhelmed, I tug his hair back, forcing him away from my chest. He freezes, those blue-green eyes morph into something like confusion before I’ve pushed him to his back and keep him there.
Do I want you?
He’s not moving, he’s waiting for my next move, calculating the next action he should take to get through to me.
Want... what is want? Wants are people’s desires, wants are materialistic, no I don’t want him- My fingers reach for his pants, quick to drag the material down.
This is need.
I need him.
His growing cock springs out from its confinement, already bulging with veins.
He’s not hard enough.
“Shit Ginger, wait-” He cuts himself off, a hiss escaping his lips when my fingers wrap around the tip and squeeze.
Thomas jerks into my hand, curses float in the air between us. He grips the duvet tightly, in order to regain some semblance of control.
I halt in my actions and stare at him through soulless eyes.
Does he want me to continue?
He stares back at me grimly, breath stuck in his chest as all sense of logic and judgment slip from his grasp.
The sane part of his brain knows we should not do this.
The other part of him, the one that could hardly give a shit, wants me to fuck him in my mouth.
I don’t wait to see which side wins.
After all, this isn’t for him.
It’s for me.
My fingers slowly pump at his length, softly squeezing the flesh in pulsing and deliberate patterns.
His cock practically grows onto my palm and I feel him tremble as I continue, never once speeding up or slowing down. I keep it at the right rhythm, a rhythm that will only hang his pleasure and not allow him to reach it.
“Fuck...” He’s struggling to contain his groans. I’m making it very hard for him.
So much so, that pre-cum startled to leaked from the tip of his cock. I lift my thumb to my mouth to wet at the skin before placing it down to swirl at the cum, gathering as much as I can so I can run it down the rest of his hard length.
I glance up at him, watching his scrutinizing features, watching his mouth as it threatens to open into another moan.
Tucking my hair up my ear with my free hand, I blow out warm air onto the bulbous head and flick my tongue.
He flinches, one hand clutch tightly at the duvet.
“Ginger...” It was too sensitive for him. His eyes speak of mercy. I didn’t care.
The salty tang from his cum, is reverberating down the back of my throat.
I gather as much saliva into my mouth before I open my mouth and swallow him whole, coating the entirety of his cock inside my jaw.
He jerks violently, fingers snake their way to my hair to pull at the strands.
“Fuck!” Thomas snarls, teeth gritted to the point that I hear them grind.
I release more saliva and warm the base of his cock with my breath, keeping the length of him so deep in my mouth that I feel him at the back of my throat.
His cock twitches and I pull out slowly, letting saliva dribble down onto my hands so I can rub at his heavy balls. They are full beneath my palms as I knead them gently, softly... throughout all of this, my head bobs up and down on his cock.
Torturously, the rhythm I set is the same as before, I don’t go fast nor slow, I keep it neutral and consistent.
But it’s more than enough as Thomas’s grip on my hair has yet to loosen. When my tongue swirls around the length of his cock, to ensure he could feel my hot breath, it merely tightens.
“S-Shit, you need to stop-” His pleasure is obvious, the growing heat in his eyes tells me he plans on devouring me whole.
I simply tilt my head at that, my mouth sucking and pulling in deliberate meaning.
“Ah...” He shivers so hard, I feel it in my mouth. “I’m going to cum.”
It won’t be long.
Not with how hard I’ve teased him.
“God-” He squeezes his eyes shut, his toes curl. “Fuck, I’m cumming-fuck!”
His fingers pull at my hair to the point that it hurt before his hips jerk and he comes inside my mouth.
I taste the warm liquid instantly as soon as it seeps out and coated my tongue. It’s salty, almost bitter, I fuck him through it all, feeling the vein above his hip pulse in response.
He falls to his back, daze almost when I finally pull out, my mouth releasing him with a pop. I sit back up, my sticky fingers rest above his thighs, my gaze remains glued to his.
This isn’t enough.
I need more.
Spitting the cum I gathered from my mouth to my hand, I wrap it around his cock again, using the liquid as lube. He hisses in pain too stimulated, and grasp at my wrist, halting my actions.
“You’re going too fast,” He speaks out, struggling to catch his breath.
I pull my wrist away and refocused on the task at hand, pumping up his cock with deliberate movements so he had no choice but to get hard again.
It’s the first time I’ve seen Thomas so out of control of what’s happening around him.
He isn’t sure whether to take over or to let me do as I wish.
Before he can decide, I’ve already lifted myself above him and dragged my sweats down, exposing my cunt to the cool air.
His gaze widens, his hands shot up to my shoulders, halting me even as I rub myself back and forth on top of his cock.
“You’re not wet enough yet,” He gasps out. “It’s going to hurt-”
I’m sinking down on top of him just as fast as he can finish his sentence.
For half a second, as my cunt swallows his cock whole, I hear nothing but ringing in my ears and numbing throughout my whole body.
Then, the pain is sharp, intense, like a knife cutting into my stomach.
I feel the burn as his cock stretches me out and fills my insides.
Thomas is practically squeezing my shoulders to the point that bruises may form. His eyes are wide, and I know without a doubt, he can feel how hard I’m squeezing him.
When I reach down to the base of his cock, I stay still, finally letting a breath escape out through my lips as my head tilts back and I stare at the ceiling.
I’m so goddamn full.
He’s burning up my insides, reaching the deepest part of me without effort.
“Hah...” For the first time since I initiated the sex, I let out a sound, it’s a cross between a rasp and a choke. “It hurts.”
Something swirled in his gaze.
Lust, concern, animalistic need.
My body moves on its own accord.
I ride him, up and down, slowly at first, stroking that painful burn deep within my pelvis.
“Shit, slow... slow down,” Thomas rasps painfully as he sits up and grabs hold of my waist, his head on my breasts. “I can’t fucking keep up-”
His breath is coming out in scattered patterns, his sensitivity has reached its peak.
It’s far cry from the heir of Graymoore that once strived for my absolute submission when it came to sex.
Snarling my fingers into his hair, I jerk those sandy blond strands backward, earning a sharp growl from his lips.
Dark eyes glare back at me but I’m so preoccupied with his exposed neck, that I don’t react, not even as I pull the strands back some more, knowing it will hurt.
“Goddamnit,” His hands reach down to my thighs but I clench my walls down on his cock, making him gasp out loud, eyes wide, winded.
I suspect, if he wasn’t the prideful man I knew, he would’ve come right there and then.
Flattening my palms onto his chest, I push him to his back, using my full weight to my advantage.
He groans as his hands clench against the duvet beneath us.
I catch the way his muscles tense between my rolling hips, my avid movements as I continue to pump myself up and down his erect cock.
A mist of lust has clouded his senses, yet I can still see the uncertainty lingering in that gaze.
There’s a battle going on inside him.
He isn’t sure which side should win, but at this point what could he do?
I’m the one on top, I’m the one riding him, I’m the one that needs this fucking emptiness gone.
The ache in my lower pelvis is pulsing a sharp sensation throughout my clit. It hurts. It hurts so fucking much, yet I can’t stop, because if I stop, then I won’t feel anything.
I’ll be empty all over again.
Leaning backward, I brace my palms on his thighs and arched my chest, feeling his cock slip out in my impatience.
The emptiness swarm at my lungs, filling them up with bubbling water.
I grab his cock once more and prepared to sink myself back on it, but Thomas has taken the loss of momentum to his advantage. His hand cups at my pussy, one finger dipping inside.
“Oh...” I’m startled as the action tears my breath from my chest.
His finger rotates a full arc and it’s painful, that I flinch and tremble.
Thomas notices my discomfort immediately. He draws his hand back and places that finger on my lips, using it to tug at my mouth.
“You’re not wet enough,” He says softly, his free hand running down the back of my spine to squeeze at the plump of my ass. I taste the slight salt from the tip of his finger as his nail tapped at my bottom teeth. “It’s going to hurt even more if we continue.”
No, we can’t stop.
If we stop, I might fall into that horrifying emptiness all over again.
This was the only way.
Gritting my teeth, I smack his hand away and reach down to his cock, my fingers skating at those heavy balls with furious intent.
He frowns with clear confusion and tries to move away but at that exact moment, I snap my gaze to him, my eyes as vulnerable as they will ever be.
“Just... stay there,” I’m lifting myself up, I’m positioning my body over his cock. “Stay right there-” I place his hard cock over my pussy and widened the entrance of my core with two fingers. “...and feel me.”
“Oh... fuck... me...” Thomas spits the word through every inch of his girth as it entered my cunt.
This is it.
This was the feeling.
The fullness, the depth, the complete and utter bliss of not being vacant.
Rearranging myself, I got in a better angle and leaned backward, allowing him to see himself as his cock disappeared in and out of my pussy with each thrust.
The mist surrounding his eyes is fogging up, he’s losing control of the situation, and I didn’t mind, I didn’t mind at all.
After all, it would make this so much easier.
I’d get what I wanted.
What did I want?
I wanted the authority, I wanted Thomas to be powerless, I wanted this anger, this confusion, this rage and punishment ruling my thoughts to give me back my role, my role of leader, of Queen, because right now, I’ve never been any more lost.
With each roll, my breathing escalates.
With each thrust, my heart clenched.
With each movement, I know it is empty and that makes hot tears gather in my eyes.
I’ve felt this before.
And I know what it is, what it can do, the absolution it can bring.
“Thomas,” The words are said through clenched teeth, through hidden pain and agonizing uncertainty. His blue-green eyes stare up at me blankly and waiting.
I bite my lip so hard, I taste blood. “I think I’m starting to lose it.”
The atmosphere switches in an instant, the fog that once covered his gaze evaporated in mere seconds. Thomas wraps his arms around my abdomen and holds my lower back tightly.
With his free hand, he slides his fingers between my spread legs and grabs my inner thigh, pulling one leg over his knee so he can spear into me.
Oh my god.
It burned. My nails dig into his shoulder, expecting the brutality.
One second passes.
He still hadn’t moved.
I glance down at him, feeling his chest rise up and down. An expression I cannot understand has cast a shadow over his features.
I’m cut off when Thomas leans into my embrace and his lips descend at my neck. He nibbles at the skin, lips teasing, teeth grazing, all soft and loving.
Somewhere from deep inside my pelvic bone, I feel heat fill up my insides like molten lava.
“What are you... what are you doing...?” My brain has gone incoherent.
He raises his hands and palm at my breasts, two fingers twirling around my left nipple. I hold my breath, confusion, and impulse dominating the entirety of my senses.
He pinches my right nipple abruptly.
I hiss, feeling that pain send a direct calling all the way down to my tingling nerves, my throbbing clit, my beating pulse, and my blurring vision.
Yet, he still did not move.
I can feel how hard he’s throbbing from within me.
Why isn’t he moving? Why is he so focused on my breasts?
“Fuck-Oh fuck..." I squeeze my knees together to stall the feeling, but it merely heightened it, made my belly ache, and my chest tighten. “Please-please-”
What was I pleading for?
Thomas keeps one hand on my right nipple, the other reaches up past my face to tuck my hair back up my ear. “What is it?” He asks, and it’s warm, so warm. “What do you want?”
For it hurt.
For it to hurt so much that I can’t think of anything but the pain.
Would my confession alarm him? Would it frighten him?
The heir of Graymoore gazes deep into my eyes as he spreads my inner thigh further, exposing my filled cunt to the air. “Breathe,” He tells me, dragging his other hand down between us.
I can’t help it.
The air trapped in my throat, causes me to hitch.
“What did I say, baby?”
Was it even possible to be so attracted to something so gorgeous yet so dangerous at the same time?
It’s so sinful, so out of this world, so utterly bewildering-my pussy can’t help but clench.
“Fuck-fuck-” It shakes me, left me trembling, and when his middle finger begins drawing a line down the valley of my breasts, my abdomen, nearing the apex of my thighs, I hear his deep voice ring in the space between us.
“Are you even listening to me?”
His finger reached the top of my thighs and I’m hyperaware of the throbbing of his cock, the heat of our lusts, and the desperation in my muscles.
“Breathe...” Thomas drops another finger down on my clit, using the middle and ring finger against me as his own personal instrument.
I’m pulsing so hard, I’m clenching so hard. When his fingers form a V, and I feel his lips, skim across my collarbones at the same time, I lose my touch with reality altogether.
He scissors around my stretched pussy, squeezing my folds, pressing down on the sensitive flesh.
I curl in on my stomach, palms placed flat on his upper thighs.
Oh my god!
Thomas does it again, circling the base of where his cock remains and where my cunt swallows him whole.
His fingers arch and they curl in, stroking my folds, giving a hint of nails.
If he was trying to get my body warmed up, it was working, and not only that, I was getting distracted.
So much so, that when I feel the briefest flicker of pleasure coursing up my pelvis and promptly clenched-he slammed himself inside me, hitting that rising fire, forcing a whimper out of my mouth.
“P-Please...” My knees tremble, wetness coating the area where our limbs intertwine.
The heady mix of pain and pleasure is making me see stars.
Fingers still on my clit, he begins to thrust, starting slow at first, building up the tempo with each gentle rise.
The pressure is so intense that I have to close my eyes and focus on my surroundings, feeling the pleasure as it both weakened and killed me.
“What do you want?” He cups my cheek, wiping a stray tear with the pad of his thumb. Both of his knees are bouncing me over his cock. “What do you want from me?”
What do I want?
I don’t know, I don’t know what I need, my mouth is refusing to move, my body is lost to reality and its probability.
The heir of Graymoore thrusts so deep inside me, that I muffle a yell, feeling the choke scramble up my throat and threaten to wring me dry.
He grips my chin with his whole palm and engulfs my mouth with his own.
Our breaths mingled chaotically, his tongue presses deep into my own and it’s so sudden that I can’t catch up as saliva dribbled down the side of my lip. I...I can’t breathe.
Thomas releases our kiss and despite panting, he cannot resist biting my bottom lip and gently tugging it in between his teeth.
“What do you want...?” He repeats with dangerous grace.
I’m being lured in, my heart and my head are fighting for the right to call the shots. Thomas flattens his palm over the curve of my backside and I arch onto his touch, the warmth he gave, too undeniably good.
“I don’t want...” I try to form the words, I try to say them, but my head can’t seem to remember where it is.
“Then...” His hands slide down to my hips and those fingers massage at my flesh, scorching heat so bright I lose my momentum and soar. “What do you... need?”
The fog that hinders my speech is abruptly gone and I spit the words, I hurl them out, I lay them bare and for all to see.
“Hurt,” My thighs shake and tremble beneath each vehement pound of his hips. “I need it... to hurt.”
“Hurt?” He narrows his gaze, his voice a grating hum. “You want it to hurt?”
“Yes, I need it to hurt!”
He captures my mouth again, and our lips move rapidly, our fingers snarl at each other’s bodies. No places were left untouched, no vein or patch of skin, was left cold.
Everything was too much yet too little.
I wanted more, yet less.
This utter confusion and pleasure I’m experiencing are making me fall and fall, down to the depths of darkness.
I can’t see a way out.
“Fuck, fuck, Thomas, oh my god!”
His hips pound into me at a rapid pace, our mouths move quicker than our fingers, pleasure, and pain and bliss coated the entirety of my skin as sweat forms at the small of my back and the curve of my knees.
That fire embedded in my belly begins to swirl in circles, lighting live sparks that had me shaking and trembling in mess. I’ve lost all function.
I can no longer control what is happening to my body.
It feels so good.
“You feel so good,” My mouth parts from his, my voice is hoarse. “You feels so fucking good-”
“Fuck, that fucking face-” Thomas lifted me off his lap and threw me to my back so quickly that I practically bounced on the bed.
Winded at the action, I tried to sit up but did not have time to grasp my surroundings before he grabs my ankle and turns me on my front. “Thomas, what are you-”
I place my forearms under me in an attempt to get on my hands and knees, but he gets on top of me, his legs on either side of my thighs, keeping me caged.
“Where are you going...?” His mouth finds the curve of my right ear, a low grating hum vibrates from deep within his vocals. “Stay down for me.”
Thomas lowers his hands to my hips and hoists them up, keeping a commanding grip over my lower back so only my butt is arched.
I grit my teeth so hard I can feel the ache in my jaw.
This position he forced me into made me vulnerable.
But I didn’t care.
All I could feel were his hands, his fingers, his cock as it slides up and down the entrance of my cunt.
“Put it inside,” I rasp, pressing my forehead so hard onto the duvet, that I was sure I left an indent.
“What was that?” He asks innocently, one hand on my hip while the other strokes at his cock, at the pulsing, throbbing, erection. “I can’t seem to hear you, Baby.”
My nails claw at the sheets in brief anger. “Put it inside, don’t make me wait-”
He grabs the top of my head, retching it back.
The flesh of my ass slammed against his cock and my hands move to grasp at his abdomen.
“Don’t hide from me...” Thomas twines his fingers through the short strands of my hair and pulls, forcing my eyes open. “Why so shy now?”
Blue-green eyes gaze back at me, filled with heat and unspeakable fury. “Didn’t you wanted it to hurt?”
His expression may be blank, but his tone gave way to the unspeakable things he wished to inflict on my body.
I want to bathe in that voice, I want to drown in it.
The new position is forcing my spine to conform, leaving my throat, exposed to his lingering mouth.
“Shh...” He tugs my hair and lowers my head to eye level with the headboard in front of us. With one knee, he parts my thighs and lined his cock against my core. “Just, relax...”
“Mmm,” I bite my lip and visibly shake as his cock pushes deep into my cunt. He’s entering me so slowly, that I feel the stretch of my insides fighting against the size of his girth. “Fuccck-”
Thomas bites at my earlobe, breath hissing through his teeth. “Hah... you feel so good,”
He thrusts slowly at first, allowing my core to get used to the intruding size, but when I begin to whimper, weakened by how much energy this is taking from me, he ignores it all and thrusts faster-harder.
“God, I’m breaking!” I can’t control my moans. “You’re breaking me-fuck, Thomas!”
My body is stuck in a reality crossed between pleasure and torment and Thomas is not immune to it.
He’s experiencing the same thing I am.
Groans and wisps of noises are escaping out through his parted lips. We’re both struggling to hold on, wanting this moment to last as long as possible.
Skin slapping, flesh throbbing, fingers tightening to the point that blood circulation is non-existent, I’m seeing stars, I’m seeing the sun, the moon, the whole fucking universe.
“Oh god,” The word is said through tears. “-I’m going to cum-”
Thomas slides a finger over my clit and presses down so hard I screech. “Ah please!”
He’s pounding into my cunt, his balls are slapping against my clit, his fingers do wonders over my already sensitive skin. The heir of Graymoore is so brutal that I’m torn between fear and ecstasy all at the same time.
“Do you want to cum?” He says it with effort and focused eyes. “You want to cum baby?”
“Yes! Yes, I want to cum!”
Thomas grabs both my arms and links them behind my back, forcing my face into the duvet. “Cum,” He sets another familiar tempo, one, that had me moaning and drooling, begging and writhing for release. “Go on, Ginger, cum for me.”
And I want to come, I want to come apart, I want to break into a million pieces.
But he’s slowing down, his thrusts are controlled and being paced to the point that I ache for climax, I ache to cum, I ache to explode.
No, no, why-
“What’s wrong?” He chuckles behind me. “You can’t cum?”
I can’t breathe, I can’t think, I can’t fathom how else to make this pressure of coming to go away-
“Use your words, Vanessa,” The heir of Graymoore pummeled into my cunt and kept himself still inside, making the fire in my belly blaze into an inferno. “I want to hear it come from your lips.”
I can’t stand it anymore.
“Baby, please,” My begging is desperate and needy. “Please, I want to cum, let me cum-”
Thomas huffs a laugh that sounded approving. “Good girl.”
Then he was slamming into me, pistoning into me, pounding inside me like an animal in heat. The power of his thrusts, causes the whole bed to creak.
My bruised body rattles from the intensity of his actions and despite the pain, I could hardly care about that.
I’m almost there.
I can feel it.
He rotates his hips in one full swing and slams into me so hard, a zing of pleasure shot straight up my spine and clutch at my heart.
That was it.
I arch my back, my lips part, strands of my hair fell across my shoulders before I’m cumming, hard, detonating into a billion, million pieces.
My insides tightened around his cock to the point that it physically hurt. He didn’t last long after that.
“Shit...” His moan cracks at the air as he buries himself into my neck and his fingers dig into my flesh. “I’m fucking cumming,”
It’s too good.
It’s too much.
“Oh-” Unable to support his weight, I fall forward onto the bed, practically face planting as the heat overwhelms my senses and makes me see stars.
“God," Thomas gasp with reverence from somewhere behind me, as his chest mused against my back as his orgasm hits him at full force. “Jesus Christ!”
His nails make scratches against my skin and his lips find the place where my pulse beats.
No, I’m too sensitive.
He erupts inside me with brutal force, and I clench my teeth, feeling the throb of his cock as his hips stuttered against my ass to get every last drop out.
The thick liquid of his cum filled up my cunt to the point that a few drops leaked out around the sides of our still conjoined limbs.
It’s so hot, I feel like I’m melting.
“Hah- I can’t...” Disoriented and on the brink of fragility, I can’t help but whimper when he starts to pump through the mess between us, eliciting sounds that make me shudder with pure bliss.
“Thomas, please.” I shudder violently, feeling the pleasure clutch at my throat, and spread across my chest. Any more and I’ll surely die. “N-No more-”
“Stay still.” His tone dips into one filled with dark desire. “Just take it,”
He wraps his forearm around my neck and applies pressure.
I shook beneath his grip, teeth digging into my bottom lip.
I can’t do anything but accept all that he has to give.
My surroundings are swirling out of control, my breath is unable to keep up with what’s happening and his heat is encompassing me whole.
When I think I’m about to pass out, he finally, finally lets go of my neck and I slump against the duvet, feeling his body follow suit with me.
His erratic breathing matches the tempo of his heart and I don’t stop him when he laces our fingers together, his large palm covering my own.
“Oh my fuck,” I mumbled, as sweat dribbled down the side of my forehead. My voice is so raw, it’s scratchy.
“That good huh?” Thomas questions, with a tone I can only describe as satisfaction.
Embarrassment and resentment made me reach for the pillow in front of us so I could pull it over my face and hide beneath.
How is it that Thomas’s composure is already evening out, whereas, I’m still gasping?
His chest vibrates from a quiet chuckle, clearly amused by my lack of willingness to cooperate with his teasing. “No point being coy now, Ginger,”
“I know you loved it.” The heir of Graymoore tries to rise from his position on top of me, but I’m quicker, my hand shooting up, to rest against his outer thigh, halting him in his movements.
He freezes, caught off guard by the alarm in my voice.
“What is it?”
I swallow, hard, unable to form the words as the air between us teetered between unpredictability and vulnerability.
If he slips out, I’ll feel empty.
I can’t have that.
I don’t, want that.
“Can you... just stay inside me?”
For half a second, I expect him to convince me that he’ll stay beside me regardless and that this shouldn’t matter. After all, he deserved to do that. I was the one that jumped him awake and started initiating the sex.
He just went along with it.
Would he grant me this favor?
“Hey,” Thomas strokes my head gently as his voice breaks me from my trance and his blue-green eyes flared. “Lay on your side, you’ll suffocate if we lay like this.”
Relief is obvious in my expression.
I maneuvered myself against him, practically crawling at a snail’s pace so we didn’t break apart.
I can only visibly relax when we’ve managed to lie beside each other on the bed, with his forearm beneath my neck and his other, resting at the back of my thigh, pulling it over his knee.
We lay in silence for a while with the only thing resonating in the air, being the sound of our breathing and the turning of the AC.
I am aware of his fingers drumming a random tune beneath the sheets.
While the adrenaline begins to wind down, I’m beginning to feel the after-effects of his brutal love against my bruised skin. It hurts, but at the same time, I didn’t mind it.
Still, it must have been too obvious because when Thomas attempts to squeeze at my hip reassuringly, I flinched.
White-hot pain cut across my vision.
The heir of Graymoore quickly applies pleasure, evening out the pain with the weight of his palm. I struggle to bring my breath back to normal as he does this.
“Did I hurt you?” He asks after several moments have passed.
Shaking my head, I let out a strained sentence. “You didn’t give me anything I didn’t want.”
It wasn’t a lie, but it didn’t comfort Thomas who sighs and presses his nose into the crook of my neck. “I’m sorry,”
He wasn’t apologizing for that, he was apologizing for not being able to give me what I want.
I had wanted it to hurt, and truth be told, it did hurt, but it didn’t hurt to the point where my insides were tearing apart, he ensured I was wet enough and turned on that I won’t even feel it.
So in that sense, he knew what he was doing.
I don’t know if I should be grateful or angry, or maybe both. An emotion I cannot describe has bubbled up in my chest.
His hold on my body merely tightened. “I couldn’t hurt you,”
“You gave me more than what I deserved.” Came my quiet whisper.
He should be asking questions, he should be demanding answers for how aggressive I’ve acted. If he had been uncomfortable with it, I would have understood.
After all, sex wasn’t just physical pleasure, especially not between us.
It was a way to connect, to express, to tell everything you’ve always wanted to say.
Actions are more than enough but at the same time, it doesn’t take much to simply formulate the words-because we’re all human beings, and human beings all seek comfort at the end of the day.
Sometimes it’s just better to hear it.
So I start talking. “I had a bad dream,”
It’s still so vivid in my mind.
The neon lights.
The many doors.
The swinging light bulb.
The figure standing beneath it.
“I felt so empty when I woke up and I couldn’t take it...” Reaching for the hand tucked beneath my neck, I lean back against his chest and pull his arm to the skin above my heart. “If I scared you, I’m sorry, I know this is confusing.”
“All I had to hear, was that you needed me,” He calms my ramblings by sliding the hand on my hip higher up my abdomen. “I didn’t have to ask any other questions.”
“Still,” Sighing bitterly, I attempted to hide my face against the pillow. “IfeellikeItookadvantageofyou.”
“Oh no, you don’t-” Thomas curls his hand around my neck to prevent me from moving any further. “What was that you said?”
I side glared at him, annoyed that he’d forced me to say it. “I said that I feel like I took advantage of you.”
He raises an eyebrow at that. “Well you did, but it’s not like I got nothing out of it either.”
Always so direct.
Perhaps he was trying to ease the atmosphere with humor and playfulness. A stark difference to the usual heir of Graymoore.
In times like this, I’m reminded of how good of a lover he is.
He was patient when it needs to be, loyal when it came down to it, and determined when he wanted something, but he was also stubborn, gets triggered easily when it came to the people he cared about, and unkind to newcomers before they even had a chance to explain themselves.
Thomas Moore isn’t perfect, but I know he’s trying.
So, I should try harder too.
Snuggling into the sheets, I blink lazily at the scene before me, feeling his overwhelming warmth envelop me whole. I am aware of our lower halves still conjoined and his softening cock within my core.
“What you said earlier,” I roll my hips once and hum in my throat. “-that you couldn’t hurt me... what did you mean?”
It feels good to be filled like this.
Thomas runs his hands down my spine, over my belly, pressing down on all the right places. “Isn’t it obvious?” His thumb slides over my clit and begins rubbing the sensitive nub in circles. “You mean too much.”
“Mmm... ah-” I moan in delight as he shifts his grip and gently shuttles in and out of my cunt, keeping it slow enough that I arch my back.
Sleep and desire battled overhead in my brain. I feel greedy for another orgasm but knew exhaustion would win my senses.
Thomas seemed to notice my neediness because he plants a kiss on top of my head and sighs affectionately. “Sleep first,”
“I’ll make love to you all you want when you’ve recovered.”
For the first time in forever, when I went to sleep tonight, I dreamt of nothing but black nothingness.
I may have fallen into the darkness earlier, but I wasn’t afraid.
Because right there, beside me, was Thomas Moore, who had descended into the same void with me.
As he was my light and I was his...
We both shined in the darkness for each other.