I was frozen. I knew it would be hard when I sat next to her at dinner to try and apologize. She smelled so good and that little jumper she was wearing made me a little crazy. She was beautiful, there was no denying that. But when she took my hand my whole body lit up. Her hand was warm and gentle and it sent shockwaves through me. I hadn’t expected the contact. And after she got up and walked away I found that now I was craving that touch again.
As I walked into my bedroom I couldn’t figure out what was happening. This girl was taking over my thoughts. I didn’t want this again. Losing control like this. Last time I didn’t have the chance to feel the mate pull as strongly, and now that I was starting to really feel it I was going crazy. I could tell my wolf was about to lose it. I could feel my wolf pacing in my head. That touch of her hand had affected us both. Turning on the shower, I stood there for a long time, the water coming down over me. It had calmed me a little. I needed to calm down. I wrapped myself in a towel and laid down on the bed, thinking about that evening, slowly drifting off to sleep.
In the morning I woke up with the tiniest hope I would see her before she left for the day. But I was also trying to actively avoid her. I stayed in my room a bit longer, hoping she would go downstairs and I could sneak off to my office without her noticing. After a shower and a change, I walked out just as Addison left her room. We crashed into each other and she lost her balance. Reaching my arms out, I grabbed her and pulled her close to my chest before she could fall. I could feel the warmth coming off her. Her skin was soft and when she looked up at me with those bright turquoise eyes I felt a jolt. Addison gave me an awkward smile before pushing herself out of my arms, tucking some hair behind her ear as she blushed. “Good morning.”
“Good morning, Addison.” I looked down at her, trying to pretend that the closeness didn’t affect me. “You’re leaving for the day, right?”
“Yep!” she smiled. “We’ll leave after breakfast and probably won’t be back until dinner. I’m not sure how long it will take.” I could tell she was excited for her girls' day. “Are you headed down for breakfast?”
Her question warmed me. “Yep, walk down with me?” I offered. I was surprised at myself for saying that. Apparently, I was in a good mood today. Sensing Addison’s surprise as well I started walking. “You coming down?”
Blinking her eyes, Addison gave a smile and trotted over to me. We walked down the stairs in silence but we could both feel the heat when our arms would occasionally bump each other. Turning the corner to the kitchen I watched her walk in. She looked good today. She was smiling and her eyes were bright. But more than that, those shorts she had on were working wonders. And her yellow tank top had a knit lace in the back that showed off her shoulders. I held back to catch my breath. I was being nice but I couldn’t let myself go there.
Hannah, Olivia, and Addison piled out the door with Addison turning back and flashing me a sweet smile. They were gone the whole day and I found myself checking the time often and searching out the window for my dark SUV that I insisted they take. By lunchtime, I was starting to get irritable. She said they would be gone all day but I mean seriously… all day? My wolf huffed. He wasn’t enjoying Addison being so far away either. Shaking thoughts of her out of my head for the fiftieth time, I settled back into my chair and looked through this season's pricing for the bison sales. Thankfully, I had consumed myself in my work for the rest of the day.
I heard a car pull up and looked out the window to find it was my SUV. Three very happy, and what looked like very successful women hopped out of the car. With their hands full of bags, they smiled and chatted as they strolled up to the house. I sighed a bit of relief knowing they were back okay. And then pushed back that thought. I was not going to let her in like that. I was not going to worry about her. I needed to fix my mind. Because if I saw her now I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from embracing her.
But what would be so bad about that? Rang the voice of my wolf. My wolf was still ornery about the fact that our mate was kept at arm's length. But I wasn’t ready- no matter how much my wolf protested.
Taking a breath, I took my time to turn back on my cool facade. I couldn’t let Addison know I had kind of missed her. I slowly walked down the stairs as the dinner bell rang and I strolled into the kitchen. But there she was, right there in front of me. And almost as if she could sense me she turned and gave me a warm smile that reached her eyes. I walked over to the island where the food was laid out.
She turned to me, handing me a plate as she spoke, “Hello Alpha, how was your day? Did you get done everything you needed?” I could see she had enjoyed herself and was almost giddy.
“Hey. Yes, I did. Thanks. Did you find everything you needed today?” As I motioned over to their pile of bags she blushed.
“I did actually,” she responded with a bit of sass.
I like sass, I thought. Then shaking my head to clear the thought I grabbed my food and walked over to the table. We sat near each other but not next to each other. I craved the closeness and I hated myself for it.
As the evening ended and everyone headed to their own homes it was just me and Addison. The tension was thick and neither of us knew what to do or say. I finally broke the silence. “I’m heading up, do you need help carrying your things?”
“It’s just a couple of bags,” she replied, "I’ve got it, thank you though. Walk up with me?”
Her question swelled in me and I took in a heavy breath. “I actually have some things to finish up in the office. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
And just like that I had closed myself off again and made my way upstairs to the office to sit until I thought she wouldn’t hear me come up.