Chapter 7 [Glorius heartbreak]
I pulled my knees up and put my chin on them as I gazed outside. The beautiful, busy city of New York waved back with brightness while I laid in the darkness of my room.
Everyone had left when party had ended, leaving cleaners who were doing their job to bring back home in its usual condition. I sighed, playing with my fingers.
Where did I go wrong?
Everything was going exceptionally good but my life turned upside down in few days. I was in huge turmoil. The options that I could see in front of me were only two. First, marry that person and second, resolve to begging in front of him.
Begging would do nothing good even. He is just a cold slab of chilled ethanol filled ice.
May god help me! Amen!
I huffed and got up before pulling out holy Bible from the bookshelf. Reading something religious might help me or provide a sense of peace.
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”
“Creating praise on their lips. Peace, peace, to those far and near,” says the Lord. “And I will heal them.”
“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.”
I relaxed back into the cushion after reading what I desired and it did help me. All I needed was faith in god, in good or bad, doesn’t matter.
I kept the book back and stood up to go to sleep. Atleast I could sleep with blank and free mind. I had whole three days to think in the world. I picked up my phone and sent one message to Ashton
Need to meet tomorrow! At the restaurant near my penthouse. Ten thirty in morning.
I tried falling asleep while drawing patterns on the cold bed, blanket warming me up and succeeded.
I nervously rubbed my hand, waiting for Ashton to show up. I bounced my legs again and again, wanting to escape from this. What was I actually doing? I had no fucking idea. My brain was blank and heart was dumb.
I knew only one thing I was supposed to do. It was to tell everyone that I was marrying to someone after three days and that someone was not Ashton.
I chuckled, shaking my head as I sipped on the juice. Yesterday only I was kissing Ashton and today I was going to break his heart. One thing was good that our personal pictures of yesterday were not given to media. Jesus christ, help me and save me.
I took deep breaths to calm myself down. There was no good in weeping in front of god. Even god helps the ones who help themselves.
I had to be strong, calm, wise and cunning.
“My beautiful Caitlyn,” I jumped out of my seat and the glass in my hand slipped, spilling the juice and the broken glass all over.
I gasped and looked at Ashton in surprise and dread. I paled as my hands shook while I looked at the mess created by me, breathing heavily.
“Hey! I am so sorry. I didn’t know you would react this way,” Ashton reached out to me, rubbing my back, “Love, it is okay. It was just a glass.”
I shuddered and removed his hand from my shoulders. I pushed my chair away, getting up hastily.
I rushed to bathroom as fast as my steps could take me. I could not face him. I couldn’t. I slammed the door shut to the bathroom, leaning onto the door. I hiccuped as a sob ripped through me.
Before I could stop myself, I submerged to the clean ground, crying agonizingly. I hiccuped, hiding my face under my arms and on the knees.
“Cait,” I flinched as Ashton knocked on the door loudly, making me drown more into the pool of regret.
“What happened, baby? Tell me something!” He murmured softly, slowing down his knocking.
I sniffed, clearing my throat.
“Cait, speak something.” His tone hardened as he pushed the door and tried opening the lock.
I sighed and took a long, steadying breathe.
“You go, I am just coming.” I grudgingly spoke as more tears spilled from my eyes, my voice hoarse.
“Are you sure?” His concerned voice reached my ears.
“Yes,” I mumbled, getting up.
I opened the tap and washed my face with water but again ended up sobbing.
“En–enough, Caitlyn. Yo–you are not gonna cry an–anymore.” I whispered to myself, exhaling loudly.
I wiped my face with the tissue and dried my hand with the drier before walking out, acting all normal.
As I reached our table, I saw everything was already cleaned. Ashton stood up from his chair, cupping my face in his hands as I stood before the table.
“What happened? You don’t look well to me,” He frowned, his palm providing warmth to my cheek.
“I’m fine. Let’s sit down, everyone is getting disturbed.” I mumbled, removing myself from his hands and sat down.
He remained standing for a second before he sighed and followed my actions. Silence fell on our table as we both stared at table.
“Did you have breakfast?” He suddenly spoke, lifting his gaze to me.
I gulped and shook my head.
“How many times do have I to tell you to have breakfast on time?” He scolded, his eyes narrowed.
He groaned, frustrated, after getting no reply from me.
“What is your problem? I am not getting it. If there is something, tell me. Don’t stay silent.” He bit out, clenching his jaw as he pushed his hand through his hairs.
My face squinted slowly, ready to sob again but I pushed the tears away, straightening up.
“Yes, I do want to talk but first, have breakfast.” I muttered, not meeting his eyes.
“Cait,” He sighed, taking my cold as ice hands in his warm ones.
“You know that you can tell me anything, right? I am here for you. I am sorry for getting angry at you but I was just concerned.” He spoke softly, his eyes searching my eyes for answers.
I had totally forgotten that he was an army official. He had the ability to read the person in front of him. As I got out of world and shock, I abruptly pulled my hands away from him.
He frowned, feeling dejected as he looked at his hands but did not say anything.
“Waiter,” He called, opening up the menu.
“Your order, sir?” A man with notepad came after a minute, greeting us.
“Four bagels, two plate omelets and two chocolate dip bananas.” He looked at me, “Anything else, Caitlyn?”
I shook my head at the waiter and he went away. This was our usual breakfast whenever we met outside.
He took my hands in his stubbornly, looking at my face.
“What is it, Caitlyn? Your behavior is hurting me.”
I closed my eyes and pulled away my hands, not able to pick up the courage to look into his eyes.
We spent another fifteen minutes in silent before our breakfast was brought. The waiter served us, separating our plates on table while Ashton pulled out a bunch of cash from his pocket.
“Thirty for food and rest your tip.” After waiter left, we silently munched on the food.
I dipped the banana in chocolate before bringing it to my mouth. I could feel his eyes on me all the time as I ate. My throat clogged as I picked up the courage to speak.
“Ashton.” I whispered lowly, stabbing the bagels with the fork.
He hummed, staring at me as he bit down on the remaining pieces of omelet.
“I don’t know how to say but..” I paused, trailing off.
I fisted my hands in fear as I saw his hold tightening over the spoon. I blinked hardly and looked up.
“We can’t marry.”
His face turned blank. After what seemed a mintue he seemed to digest what I had said. He slowly and very calmly raised his hand and pulled my chin up, looking directly into my eyes.
“Are you kidding with me?” He chuckled, shaking his head.
I dug back into my seat, his calmness was scaring me.
“No,” I whispered.
“Just because I shouted at you a little, you don’t want to marry me? Don’t I even have the right to express my anger at you?” He muttered dryly, his gaze darting left to right.
He glanced at my left hand and clenched it tigthly.
“What is going on, Caitlyn? You have even removed the ring.” His tone chilled my soul; I had never seen him this much angry.
“Ash, I know th–this is hard b—” He cut me off, pulling me out of my seat.
“Move. We’re going to my car.” He hissed as we drew attention of the people.
“Ashton, listen t—”
“I said, move.” His face hardened and his voice became more cold.
I sighed and walked along with him. As we reached his car, he pushed the door open and nodded at me to sit. I sat down and he came from other side, settling onto his driver seat.
“Now, tell me. Did I do something wrong?” He asked, his whole attention on me.
My eyes moistened while I shook my head.
“No, it i—”
“Are you afraid of me?”
“Do you feel uncomfortable with me?”
“No.” I sighed, looking at my lap.
“Then, what the fucking problem is?” He thundered, slamming his hand on the window.
I jumped, my heart thumping erratically and loudly.
“I rea–realized that I li–like someone e–else.” I stuttered, clenching my hands together tightly on my lap.
“What do you mean? Do I look like a fool to you?” He hissed, grasping my arm as he jerked me forward.
I winced but did not utter anything more.
“Yesterday we talked about out marriage and today you’re telling me you don’t want to marry me? Is this marragie kind of a sick joke to you? Huh? Tell me, Caitlyn.”
A lone tear spilled and I turned away from him.
“Ashton, I don’t have anything to tell. Let me go, now.” I spoke hesistantly as I tired to tore my arm away from his vice grip.
“No!” He growled, bringing me back to his chest,“I am not letting you fool me. I know there is some problem. Tell me, dammit, tell me!”
His voice lowered down, head hung low.
“I’m sorry, Ashton. I realized that I was just marrying you out of guilt. This relation was suffocating me. I liked you really but not anymore.” I lied perfectly through my teeth, repeating the lines that I had learnt by heart.
“Get out! Get out right away before I end up hurting you!” He yelled, jerking me away.
My hear clenched painfully, hearing the disgust and anger in his tone.
“You never loved me but I thought you were better than this!” He spat, looking in front.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re lying. You cannot even look into my eyes. Just to let you know, I don’t trust you. I will find out what is the reason behind this! But for now, get out of my vision.” His words pierced my heart but that was what I deserved.
I looked at his white face and red eyes once more before opening the door and jumping out.
Till the time, you will find out what is wrong, it will be too late. I would be married till then to another man.
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