Copyright © 2020 by MsAnastasiaWhite
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“Hi Brody. I’m sorry for not keeping my promise...” Delete.
“Hi Brody. I would have never contacted you if it weren’t something important. We need to talk...” Delete.
Fuck! Why was this so hard? I tossed my phone on the bed and stood up. Chiara was on a date with Miles, so I was alone in our dorm room. I desperately needed her, yet I also wanted to be alone. I couldn’t find the strength to tell her the truth. It was the second time in my life when I hid something that huge from my best friend. Once she knows she will be furious.
It felt like a cruel joke, but the only person who knew everything was Dominic. Honestly, I didn’t expect him to act the way he did. He didn’t push me to make a decision or torture me with his worries. He just let me know I can count on him, no matter what my decision is. My decision... Damn, I have only four days left, and I still have doubts.
My phone started buzzing, startling me. These days I was a nervous wreck. One morning I woke up with a swollen lower lip. I bit myself to the point of drawing blood in my sleep. Chiara was utterly surprised to see that. She thought I started getting better in my after-Brody period. I did, but only because it was the least of my concerns.
“Hey mom,” I said, walking closer to the window.
“Hi Mia.” She fell silent. That wasn’t something unusual. My mother was angry with me once she had seen her car after the crash. She told me I was reckless and selfish. I already promised to pay her back for the repairs, as I didn’t want to be in debt to her. “Do you plan to come home?”
“I guess so.” I sighed, staring out of the window. “Why?”
“Allan and I need to go to Washington. Your granny is sick.” Hmm, I don’t even remember the last time I saw my grandparents. Maybe when I was 16?
“Okay.” With a shrug, I turned around and looked over the room. I should have asked Jeff to spend a few hours with me. Ugh, I was an idiot.
“She’s been asking about you... They both did, actually.”
“Mom, if you think I’ll go with you, think again.”
“Mia, but they’re your grandparents.” Mom sounded annoyed.
“Really? But that means I’m their granddaughter. Though, I don’t remember their calls or...”
“Oh, it’s always about you, Miss Perfection. That man did a wonderful job spoiling you...”
“Look at yourself before you say something to other people.”
“Mia!” She raised her voice, and I gritted my teeth. The exact same old shit.
“It’s no biggie. I can stay in the dorm for one weekend.” The truth is simple, I can’t stay in the dorm, no matter what. I have a scheduled appointment with my doctor. Shit!
“I never said you can’t visit. It’s your home, even if you don’t think like that of this place.” Mom took a deep breath. “Mia, I’m tired of arguing with you all the time. That’s not who we are.”
“I’m not sure who we are anymore, mom...” I bit my lower lip. “I’ll be home Friday evening.”
“Okay. Will Miles come pick Chiara and you up?” Mom asked, trying to sound normal.
“Erm... Dominic will bring us home.” I closed my eyes, waiting for another lecture.
“Seems to me, Dominic and you became very close all of a sudden.” I can even imagine her with her pursed lips. I really believe my mom doesn’t think I’m capable of love or that I deserve to be happy. It’s like her goal to make me suffer.
“You’re wrong. Miles promised to drive Chiara and me home, but his mom had been admitted to the hospital a few days ago. Her surgery is scheduled on Friday, so...” I turned around and went to my bed.
“Oh, I had no idea...” Mom trailed off. Yes, how can she know anything if we barely talk? “Okay, Mia, have a nice evening.”
“You too. Tell Allan I said ‘hi’.”
“Sure... Oh, that reminds me of something. I forgot to tell you the cost of the repairs.”
“Which is?” I asked, preparing for the worst.
“Zero.” She sounded mocking. “Allan found the needed parts and Dominic did everything for free. Miles also helped.”
“That’s great!” I sighed in relief. I expected something like that. Before I left for college, Dominic talked to me about the damage and he was like “Did you forget we have our own car repair shop?” So, I wasn’t really surprised.
“You still owe me around 300 bucks.”
“For what?” I plopped myself down on my bed.
“For emotional damage.”
“Okay, mom. Don’t worry. I have the needed sum of money.” Yeah, because I sold some clothes Brody bought for me. I touched my pendant with my fingertips. I can sell everything except for this necklace. It means the world to me.
“Nice to hear...” I heard someone’s voice on the other side of the line. “Mia, honey, I gotta go. Call you later.”
“Uh-huh.” I hung up and stared at the ceiling. I wasn’t shocked to hear about the money, yet it stung. Allan and Dom did it all for free, while she... I took a deep breath, not letting tears flow. I was so fucking tired of all that. I want to graduate college and live my life far away from my mother.
I remember my childhood very well. Mom treated Matthew and me the same, I never felt abandoned or jealous. She was there for both of us, whenever we needed her. My first real argument with her happened in my last year in high school, just when I caught her leaving Watson’s apartment. To think about it, that day was the beginning of our downfall. Our bond shattered, making me doubt everything I had known. There must be something I hadn’t noticed. She couldn’t change so much just because she was with Allan. There should be something or someone. Or I just tried to find an excuse.
I put my palm on my belly. I have four days to make a decision. Dom said I should tell Brody, but I wasn’t so sure about that. Before we broke up, we had talked about our future and he made it clear - it would be better, if I didn’t seek an opportunity to see him again. Since he had left for Italy, I was on my own. So, if I decide to have an abortion or give birth to my child - it would be my decision. Solely mine. Yet, I have no idea what to do.