Four months. It's been four months when I last talked to Ana. When I last kiss her. Hug her. Touch her. I did what she wanted me to do.
I stopped pursuing her I stopped trying to gain her attention. I stopped meddling in her matters and let her do as she wishes but then why.
Why is it so hard to stand her behaviour. Why is it so hard to keep my cold attitude on the spot. Why am I starting to feel empty? Hurt And lonely.
These things started to make me realise her pain. All these years she fulfilled my every need. She gave me everything and what I did.
Nothing I gave her nothing except emptiness. I am so cruel. I was so busy thinking about my pain. I was so selfish for expecting only for her love and not giving a one bit damn about her emotions.
If I wanted to be loved then why shouldn't she want to? She's also a human like me and I was treating her like a robot. I am so damn selfish.
"What should I do. I can't help it my heart is not letting me love her. " I whispered to myself staring at the view from the vast window of my office.
Her ignorance and not communicating with me was another thing but the most heart-piercing thing was the way she distanced herself from me.
She even changed her room. She sleeps in a guest room now. She made breakfast before I woke up and left me alone. She sent the lunch to my office clearly telling me to not come home. I had to eat dinner alone as well.
My nights went sleepless without seeing her angelic face. Without hearing her full of love voice confessing to me. I felt tired I can't even have a proper mind peace.
I never thought that her ignorance can make me this miserable. I felt like grabbing her and filling my desires. I wanted to pour my longing on her but again I can't. I promised myself to not disturb her just like she said.
But how much time she wants more. I am missing her like a crazy person what about her then. Doesn't she miss me? Doesn't she love me anymore?
No, she does. She still loves I know. I can see in her eyes that she still loves me but then why she's doing this. Why she's playing with me like this. She knew about my hate towards love then why she's behaving like this.
Sighing heavily I sat down on my chair and stared at the files in front of me blankly. I don't even feel like working anymore. My head was spinning so badly. I wanted to just sleep.
Sleep but in her arms.
I was craving to hold her. I wanted to take the time back when she used to cuddle with me. I missed it. I missed her every behaviour.
Hearing a knock on the door I opened my eyes and yelled come in. "Hey, dude. Damn you look beautifully ugly today. "
I rolled my eyes at his absurd remark. He sat down in front of me. "What you want Andrew. " He sighed heavily staring at me with concerned eyes.
"Look at you bro. What have you done to yourself? You look like a person who hasn't slept for God knows how many months. "
He was right I was indeed looking messed up. Ruffling my hairs I shook my head "I don't know. I can't sleep anymore. Her ignorance is piercing me. It's like that she's hiding something from me. I am frustrated. Really frustrated. "
I said sighing heavily rubbing my face using my hands "Your right. I think so too. There is something going on between her and Emily. Emily isn't telling me anything but they both are hiding something. "
I looked at him as he continued his words " Emily seems concerned and upset nowadays whenever I asked her something she only replied me with simple words. She can't break the promise she made with Anastasia. "
"That's the problem. For the past 2 months, I noticed her getting paler. Indeed her weight is gaining as she's pregnant but her arms and face are becoming Skinner. She's not even looking at me anymore. I can't see her like this. "
I heard his chuckle which was clearly full of sarcasm "And you think she likes you seeing so miserable. Your eyes are looking sleepless. There are dark circles under your eyes. Your skin is getting paler as well. You both needs each other. I don't know why your this stubborn. Just accept the fact that your heart is telling you and everything can be better. "
With that, he walked away from me leaving me stunned and confused. I gulped taking a glass of water and gulping it down my throat. He was right I need her. I want her. I am losing myself without her.
But I don't love her. Right. I don't.
Shaking my thoughts away I decided to go home today earlier my head was spinning badly. I can feel my body getting hotter. Shit, I think I got a fever.
Darian entered the house and stopped in the hallway feeling his eyes getting blurry. He sat down on the sofa and took a few deep breaths to calm himself.
Anastasia wasn't at home because she had an appointment with her gynaecologist. He made his way towards his room and without changing his clothes he slammed his body on the bed.
And within a few minutes, he fell asleep. Anastasia reached home and made a lunch one of the maids told her that Darian has came earlier today and he's not going back as he instructed them.
Anastasia waited for him to come down but he didn't. Not able to hold herself she made her way to his room which used to be theirs.
She walked towards his sleeping figure. Her eyes slightly got widened seeing him sweating furiously and trembling a little. Touching his forehead and neck.
"He has a fever. " She instantly called the doctor and to ease his burning body she used cold water with piece of cloth using it on his forehead and neck to lower his temperature a little which indeed worked out.
After some time doctor came and he instructed her that he lacked sleep and because of overwork and tension, his condition becomes like this.
She was already stressed out for him from few weeks. He was getting paler and restless and she can feel it. She wanted to talk to him and ease his tensions as her love once wanted to push her to him.
But she controlled her emotions. She controlled herself from falling on her knees for him once again. Changing his clothes into sweatpants and a over sized shirt she laid him down properly covering his body with a duvet and removing his shoes along with socks.
Making him eat medicine while he was half-conscious. She stayed beside him because for her this wasn't the time to show ignorance. For humanity, she can at least do this.
She carefully sat down on the bed placing her back on the bed's headboard placing her hand on her swollen belly. She was 6 months pregnant.
After Sometime without realising she dozed off.
Letting out a small groan Darian opened his eyes. It was 11 at night. He remembered he slept at 5 in the evening. Rubbing his forehead he felt his fever eased up alot.
Soon his whole body got frozen and heartbeat went crazy when his eyes witnessed her sleeping beside him in a sitting manner.
Sitting up on the bed he scooted a little closer to her placed his back on the headboard staring at her with soft eyes.
She steadily unfolded her hazel orbs feeling something moving beside her and got startled to see her husband's dark eyes staring in hers. He was still staring at her without showing any emotion.
"I Uhmm you had a fever so I called the doctor I don't know how I fell asleep like this. " She said now looking away from him she tried to move away from him but instead he placed his head on her shoulder freezing her in the place
"Don't go. Stay here like this. " He whispered in his tired and raspy voice while she sat there stiffen in her place. Extending his hand he placed his hand on her swollen belly caressing it softly
"How long. For how long Anastasia you're going to ignore me. I stayed away from you just like you wanted me to. But my limit is ending now. I can't do this anymore. I can't stay away from you. "
She was frozen in her place and had no idea of what to do. He said those words with full of softness. She was stunned to witness his new side which he never showed before
Maybe because of the medicines she gave him made him behave this vulnerable. His actions were making her weak but she still didn't let her guards down.
This man ruled her for many years and now she's not ready to get played by him again. She let him control her for over 3 years and now her limit has given up.
"You need something to eat. The doctor has instructed to give you something to eat before giving medicine. " She said as she once again tried to distance herself from him but instead he held her arm nuzzling his head in the side of her neck.
"Don't go. Just let me enjoy this moment. Please. " His last words left her more shocked. He was almost begging her. She never thought that almighty Darian Black can ever be this vulnerable.
Soon he dozed off inhaling her scent after so many months. Anastasia didn't stop him as for her this will be the last night he will hold her like this.
Because this wasn't her ignorance. It was their fate.
Fate to be separate from each other.
Hear my unsaid words love the way I used to understand your unasked favours.
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