HEART LIES

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WRONG

The woman was incapable of lying, but she was a good schemer. Here, the issue which stood before the woman was that Ji-Seong excelled in both scheming and lying; therefore, he detected these things without effort.

“I would like to pick Gong-Won he has made good progress, and his family is pressuring the board, and I can’t take all the rumbling, but I can’t have him puke in the patient’s thorax. Still, he is the heir of a company that will create equipment for all the hospitals of Korea.”

“Sa-rang, you should be thinking of yourself.”

“There’s nothing to think about,” Sa-rang said bluntly.

Ji-Seong stopped abruptly on the path they walked on, “how can you say that Sa rang? There’s your condition; I mean, what treatment are you taking?”

“You know I’m taking Opioids.”

“And?”

“And what? I’m not getting treated, Ji-Seong, I told you, I don’t want to go through that.”

A nervous laugh escaped Ji-Seong, who already foresaw the conversation would end in a Tsunami of Sa rang’s anger. Still, he continued, “you can’t just wait for death.”

“Why not? I’m not doing any chemo or getting an operation.”

“Sa-rang, what are you saying? it doesn’t make sense.”

“Yes, it does. I don’t want to spend the last months of my life as a patient in a hospital.”

“If you get treated, perhaps these are not the last months of your life,” Ji-Seong said in a desperate tone, which made Sa-rang raise an eyebrow.

“You see, Ji-Seong, this is why I locked out In-Sung and Sonmi. I don’t want this pressure, I don’t,” Sa-rang said, shaking her head and backing away from Ji-Seong, who took a step towards the woman who now hugged herself.

“Oh my, Sa-rang, are you listening to yourself? You don’t want people who care for you to ask you to get treated.”

“No, I don’t because I’ll die with or without treatment, and I don’t desire any attention or pity.”

“You are not God, Sa-rang. You don’t know what might happen if you do chemo.”

“Ji-Seong, I don’t even have 0.5% of a chance, do you understand?”

“I can’t believe you, Sa-rang; I can’t comprehend a woman as educated as you would trust statistics.”

“My education is the reason why I trust statistics. I told you, Ji-Seong, I’m dying, I wish to die my way, and so please respect my choice.”

“Your choice is wrong,” the man yelled.”

“And what? I’m not getting treated, Ji-Seong, I told you, I don’t want to go through that.”

A nervous laugh escaped Ji-Seong, who already foresaw the conversation would end in a Tsunami of Sa-rang’s anger. Still, he continued, “you can’t just wait for death.”

“Why not? I’m not doing any chemo or getting an operation.”

“Sa-rang, what are you saying? It doesn’t make sense?”

“Yes, it does. I don’t want to spend the last months of my life as a patient in a hospital.”

“If you get treated, perhaps these are not the last months of your life,” Ji-Seong said in a desperate tone, which made Sa-rang raise an eyebrow.

“You see, Ji-Seong, this is why I locked out In-Sung and Sonmi. I don’t want this pressure, I don’t,” Sa rang said, shaking her head and backing away from Ji-Seong, who took a step towards the woman who now hugged herself.

“Oh my, Sa-rang, are you listening to yourself? You don’t want people who care for you to ask you to get treated.”

“No, I don’t because I’ll die with or without treatment, and I don’t desire any attention or pity.”

“You are not God, Sa-rang. You don’t know what might happen if you do chemo.”

“Ji-Seong, I don’t even have 0.5% of a chance, do you understand?”

“I can’t believe you, Sa-rang; I can’t comprehend a woman as educated as you would trust statistics.”

“My education is the reason why I trust statistics. I told you, Ji-Seong, I’m dying, I wish to die my way, and so please respect my choice.”

“Your choice is wrong,” the man yelled.”

“Who do you think you are? Do you think because I’m given a tiny whiny little space in my life, you can come and throw your opinion around? Let me die in peace. For goodness sake, what is wrong with you? You said you wanted to be with me; this is the condition to be with me,” Sa-rang said, eyes gawking to threaten a man who seemed unaffected.

“What, do you want me to watch you die?” Ji-Seong asked though he knew what the woman’s answer would be.

Sa-rang approached him to stare straight into his eye, “yes,” she whispered.

“This is insane. You’re crazy,” Ji-Seong said. It was his turn to take steps away.

“No, Ji Seong, you’re the crazy one.”

“What, why am I the nutcase? Because I want the woman I love to live and that if your daughter and ex-husband were aware of this, they’d probably wish it too.”

“Don’t throw that about carelessly, Ji-Seong,” Sa-rang warned.

“What?”

“Don’t say you love me; you don’t know me.”

“I know you, Sa-rang, maybe better than you know yourself. You are lying to yourself because you’re scared; you are afraid to fight. And yes, I love you, I want to live.”

“WHAT’S THE POINT OF FIGHTING, IF YOU KNOW YOU’LL LOSE,” screamed the woman.

“You don’t know,” Ji-Seong said as he grasped Sa-rang by the shoulders.

“You are so selfish you want me to live for you, for your sorrow and mourning, but I don’t desire that. If you can’t respect my choice, I don’t want you by my side.”

“Sa-rang, don’t do this.”

“Ji-Seong, I made my decision. You told me you wished to be with me, and I thought you understood, but I know that asking you to witness my decline without lifting a finger is too much. So please, Ji-Seong, just let me be.”

With these words, Sa-rang turned and started walking back to her building. Not once did she look back on Ji-Seong, who remained to watch the woman’s silhouette disappear in the dark.

Days past Ji-Seong did not attempt to talk to Sa-rang, who, as expected, ignored him. Instead, he chose another tactic.

“Dr. Moore.”

“Oh, Chae Ssi,” Yoona said, brushing a strand of hair from her face to show her best profile. Like the students, Yoona, too, was a fan of the water boy.

“Can I speak to you for a minute?” Ji-Seong said, eyes darting down the hall as he made sure no one heard.

“Yes, sure, come into my office. What brings you here?” Yoona entered her office and pulled out a chair for herself while prompting Ji-Seong to sit.

“Eh, it’s about professor Lee,” Ji-Seong said as he took a seat.

Yoona’s face darkened as he spoke.

“What about her?” Yoona said in the most detached tone she could muster.

“Do you know she’s not doing any chemotherapy?”

“I know.”

Ji-Seong frowned, “you know, why are you leaving her like this?”

Yoona sighed as she understood the man’s mind was precisely where she was when Sa-rang told her resolution, “because it’s her wish, and I respect that.”

“Hasn’t occurred to you that she could be depressive due to the painkillers, and maybe she isn’t in her right mind?” Ji-Seong asked.

“OMO, are you lecturing me? Listen, Sa-rang is my friend; it’s true, but I’m a professional, and my medical analysis of Sa rang is that she is in her right mind. Chae Ssi, you know as well as I do that at this stage, there isn’t much Sa rang can do.”

“So you are going to watch your friend die without doing anything, she is committing suicide under your eyes, and you are just standing there.”

“Chae Ssi, I know how you are involved with Sa-rang, and I thank you for being there for her, but ask yourself a question what does Sa-rang want? Because for me, it’s all that matters.”

“Dr. Moore, I think you are wrong. Professor Lee isn’t on her deathbed. I can’t believe you are suggesting I leave her with her resolve. I came here thinking since she was dear to you, you would help me, but youㅡ,” Ji Seong paused and got up as he remembered Sa rang told him about Yoona’s pregnancy.

Seeing Yoona’s expression, the student realized he attacked a pregnant woman, and the professor would probably kill him, “sorry for bothering you, Doctor Moore,” Ji-Seong said before leaving Yoona bewildered.

Everyone was crazy thought of Ji-Seong. How was he to convince Sa rang to fight for her life?

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