FLAME

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Fallen angel

Dream... you are my dream.

You come and go as you wish,

Even when I am awake.

My heart flutters spreading its wings,

Sensing your heat.

Losing myself alone in my room,

My body blooms, smelling you.

You arrived like rain,

Sending shivers with your gaze.

Makes me wanna get drench,

Soaking my every inch.

Look at me and touch.

Teasing me is a bit much.

Let me feel all of you.

And let the storm slowly brew.

Like the fireworks in the sky,

Let's get high and dry.

I was standing in the middle of a forest surrounded by green everywhere. It wasn’t raining but the raindrops falling from leaves due to the breeze looked like it was raining. I could feel the wet ground under my bare feet. I inhaled the smell of rain closing my eyes. I saw grey clouds in the sky ready to cry any minute now. It was a dewy and hazy day.

I saw a raindrop threatening to fall from the tip of a leaf. I walked to it and bent towards it to take a closer look. It was fascinating to see that how a single raindrop holding on to its might, not to fall. I saw a black figure moving through the raindrop. Strangely I knew who it was before I could lookup. I caught the drop on my palm that fell and raised my eyes to see that black figure.

Vian stood under a big tree, a few meters away from me. He was wearing all black, my favorite. He stood leaning against the brown, wet trunk of the tree with his hands inside his black’s coat’s pocket. He doesn’t look like a high school kid. He looked a bit older, and I could see his clean-shaved beard and mustache from here. His hair was permed and set. The curled bangs on his forehead were long and hiding his eyes underneath. But surprisingly I could see them clearly like the grey clouds on the sky searching for something.

He was like a fallen angel in all black missing his wings. Emanating power and charm waiting for his prey to come willingly and surrender. And I was his prey. I slowly walked to him carefully placing my leg like I might hurt the ground. His eyes diverted from somewhere to me. That moment… my breath caught up in my throat. I couldn’t express it in words. It was like a dream. His eyes were commanding me to come to him.

Suddenly people were walking around us and we are not in the forest anymore. I don’t know where they are coming from or where they are going. A girl who was about to walk past him stopped in her tracks and started talking to him. He politely answered her, but I could tell that he was annoyed. The girl couldn’t take a hint, and I felt sorry for her.

A tear escaped my eyes out of the blue. I wiped it away wondering why the hell I was crying. I started to run towards him. It looked like he was few meters away but I felt like I ran for hours. Somehow the girl disappeared in the meantime but his eyes stared at me all the while.

Since I couldn’t reach him, I stopped running. He was looking at me but didn’t move. He stayed there with a smirk on his lips. I took that moment as my chance to admire him. I just wanted to take all of him in like I breathe fresh air. It felt like I haven’t seen him in ages and only after I did I was able to breathe.

Once I stopped running towards him, he came to me. He just took few steps, and he was already here. It was that easy for him. He closed the distance between us. Cupping my cheeks between his hands, he started kissing me feverishly.

And the next moment, we were in my bedroom snogging. His kiss was rushed and demanding. His hands were all over me. He stopped kissing and let me breathe while trailing down my neck kissing all the way. I let out a moan when he sucked the flesh above my collarbone feeling the pleasure shooting all over my body ending at my core.

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited for you.” He whispered in my ear and started kissing me again. His lips were hungry, fast, lustful asking for more. I wasn’t satisfied with just a kiss. I wanted more and I knew he wanted more too.

His hands slowly went inside my top. It was amazing to feel his warm hand on my bare flesh. I curved my body upwards towards him indicating that I want more. I want all of him to touch all of me. I could hear his slight chuckle feeling my impatience. His hand slowly moved down leaving traces of tingling sensation all the way.

Suddenly I heard a loud thud. I sat up abruptly from the bed breathing heavily and sweating profusely. Then I realized Vian wasn’t here with me. It was just a dream. I slumped back sighing disappointedly. I don’t think I could sleep anymore.

I must have slept thinking about what happened on the basketball court. I was an idiot letting my feelings get the best of me. I was afraid about what he will think about me after this. Will he stay away from me and be cautious?

I didn’t dare to say a word to him on our way back. I even forgot to ask him about his recent friendship with Hazel. He dropped me at my home and went away in silence which was odd now that I think about it. I didn’t notice it earlier because I was busy with my own thoughts in my head. Did he suspect something? ‘Oh my God’ I facepalmed myself. I have to keep my distance from him for a few days until he forgets about this incident.

It was 2 AM when I looked at the clock. Suddenly I heard footsteps going down on the steps like they were tiptoeing.

I panicked thinking that it might be a thief. Slowly I got down from the bed and went out to check without making any noise. I peeked through my door, but there was no one. He must have gone downstairs. My grandma keeps all the money in her room anyway. I grabbed my phone to call the police, and that’s when I heard my grandma squealing.

I ran downstairs without thinking towards my grandma’s voice thinking that something might have happened to her and stopped abruptly in front of the kitchen looking at the persons in front of me.

My grandma was standing there with the lampstand ready to swing it and Jay stood there in front of her like a deer caught in the headlights with some toast and a fried egg on a plate in his hand.

“What are you doing here at this time, Jay? I thought you were a burglar.” She said surprised to see Jay there.

“I am sorry, grandma.” He apologized but didn’t say anything after that.

“I heard someone walking around, and I thought it was some thief looking for trouble in my house. I came out to beat the shit out of him.” This time when she spoke, it was directed to me. I don’t know if I wanted to laugh or feel pity for Jay.

I was yet to understand the situation but right now I should send grandma back to bed to save Jay who stood there in embarrassment.

“Grandma, it’s okay. We were watching a movie, and I was hungry so he came to fix me something up. I am really sorry, grandma.” I apologized, taking the blame.

“It’s a school night, Ava. Why are you staying up this late? What do I tell to your mother?”

“I know… I know. It won’t happen again, Grandma. I will go now. I am really sorry.” I said with a puppy face.

She shook her head and went back to her room murmuring something about ‘kids these days.’ I sighed in relief and looked at Jay who was still looking at the floor. I wanted to talk, but I decided to leave him alone for now.

“I couldn’t sleep.” I heard his almost whispered voice when I turned around to leave. I turned back to look at him.

“I couldn’t sleep for days now. I tried to stay in bed afraid of waking up you guys but today I was so hungry and I thought maybe if I had something to eat then maybe I might fall asleep. So…” he said apologetically.

“It’s okay Jay. No need to worry. Eat that and try to get some sleep. Let me know if you need anything.” I said smiling and tried to leave. After all, he said he wanted to be alone but then I saw his face. He looked lonely, and I couldn’t go back leaving him alone.

“I couldn’t sleep too. I was going to watch TV for some time. Care to join?” I invited him with a smile.

He nodded his head ‘yes’ and we both went to the living room. He looked comfortable sitting on the couch with his toast and egg and watching TV. Me on the other hand, not so much. I fall asleep easily while watching the movie, so it was hard for us to complete a movie. I was always cooped up in one of their arms so that they could annoy me to hell when I fell asleep while watching the movie.

Now that one of them is in his home hopefully and the other one is sitting far away as I might burn him, I felt so sleepy. I tried my best to stay awake to keep him company, but I guess I failed. Because when I woke up in the morning I was in my bed safely tucked in. I guess he isn’t that stone-hearted to leave me alone on the couch.

I never have had such a bad day in my life. Due to lack of sleep, I felt groggy all day. And then I tried to stay away from Vian’s sight. It was hard to hide when we go to the same school and attend the same classes.

But somehow I successfully managed to do so until lunch. I was so tired and lazy to go to the bleachers so I just sat on an empty table alone ignoring all the weird looks. I don’t care about them, and I don’t care about Jay or Vian. I just want to go home and sleep all day long.

“Hey Ava,” I heard Ryan calling me sitting beside me keeping his food on the table.

“What are you doing here?” he usually sits with Jackson and his friends.

“I thought I might accompany you. Is that ok?” He said smiling and started eating like it was a usual thing between us. At least he asked ‘is that ok?’ He never asked me before he does something.

It was weird sitting with him after spending one day out of pity. I didn’t think he would take it this far. I thought it was just a momentary thing. But it also kind of felt good not sitting alone although I keep getting stares from people for entirely different reasons.

After few moments, Jackson, Naina, and their entire gang joined us at our table. Jackson was unusually friendly, and I couldn’t figure out if it was fake or not.

“You look surprised,” Jackson said noticing that I was looking at him.

“Well, you know why,” I said casually.

“You are a friend to Ryan, so you are a friend to us. It’s as simple as that.” Jackson said shrugging. Ryan looked at me and smiled assuringly. I didn’t say anything, but I didn’t like it. I can never be a friend to Jackson. Not in a million years.

Two other boys joined us so we moved a bit to give them some space to sit. Ryan’s hand went to my lower back and stayed there while we moved. I was surprised and looked at him angrily, but he looked like he did it unconsciously. He casually removed his hand to take fries as soon as someone offered it to him. I was flabbergasted and didn’t know what to do about it.

That’s when I heard a loud noise. I looked around to find Vian throwing his plate on the ground and looking at me furiously. He left the room walking across me without taking his eyes from Ryan.

Immediately after that I was pulled abruptly and made to stand. And now Jay was looking at me furiously grabbing my wrist so hard.

“I told you to leave me alone.” He said in anger dripping voice. I didn’t know what he was talking about, and I hissed in pain trying to get free from his grip.

“Leave her alone.” Ryan came to my rescue.

“Not your business Ryan,” Jay said looking at him intimidatingly. I could say Ryan was a bit reluctant to get involved after Jay’s warning.

Jay pulled me with him dragging me outside without loosening the grip on my hand. And then I remembered why he was angry.

“I am sorry Jay. I just wanted to help.” I apologized. I almost cried because of the pain in my wrist. I couldn’t think anything else. I just wanted him to let me go. The pain was too much that I thought my wrist might be fractured.

He finally released me in the hallway where there was no one. I looked at him in fear rubbing my sore wrist.

“What the hell are you doing with Ryan and Jackson?” he yelled angrily.

'So he wasn’t angry about the other thing?'

“I am sorry. They came to my table, and I didn’t know what to do.” I said in a meek voice.

He sighed and combed his hair with his hand in frustration. “Stay away from them, will you?” he looked like he wasn’t angry anymore.

“So you are not angry about what I did?” I tried to push my luck further. He frowned and looked like he just remembered why he kidnapped me here.

“Don’t involve, Aves. You don’t understand. Please…” he said and left without looking back. It wasn’t a warning. He was more like begging.

After what happened last night, first thing in the morning I met up with Mr. Harrison and Mr. Donan. I told them everything that happened with Jay. They were genuinely concerned and told me that they would talk to him.

He wasn’t himself lately and going through something that I don’t know. He refused to talk and pushed his friends away. I thought I would give him some time to open up, but it’s getting worse. He wasn’t sleeping well and eating properly. He walks around the school like a crazy person. So I thought maybe an adult could handle this better and able to help him. That’s why I told them and that’s why Jay was angry.

I went to the principal’s office to see them. I know Jay came straight to me after their talk. They both looked worried when I entered the room.

“So what is it, Mr. Harrison? Did he talk?” I asked curiously looking at both of them.

“He didn’t talk Ava. He kept telling us that he was fine.” Mr. Donan said in a worried tone.

I sighed in disappointment. I can’t believe my final attempt to help him was a failure.

“But I know he will talk to you or Vian.” Mr. Harrison told me confidently.

“I told you. He told me to leave him alone and If you have noticed V and Jay are not on talking terms right now.” I said in frustration.

“He will. You just need to give him some time. He will because he only trusts you guys.” He said firmly.

I wanted to yell how long because I was getting restless looking at Jay suffering to go through a single day. It’s been weeks and there is no improvement. In fact, he is just getting worse losing sleep and his appetite.

I want him back. I want my happy, smiling, carefree jay back and I am willing to do anything for Jay to be happy.


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