I was standing on the 24th floor, the roof of our company wearing a mandarin collar shirt and crisply creased dark blue trousers paired with a blazer of the same color. I threw my blazer on the wooden bench at the near corner since I was feeling stuffy in it. The wind was strong making my styled hair go wild. I was supposed to be at the photoshoot with my band members, but I didn't know where to go to escape from my manager. I knew he will find me eventually, but I just have to get some air before that.
I looked up at the sky and noticed a couple of moving clouds.
"Did she send you? Do you have her message for me?" I talked to myself looking at them imagining that they would answer me miraculously. I know it's stupid, but I have been doing this since the day I left for New York. I remember her saying that she would send me a message through clouds whenever she misses me. So every time I look at the sky and notice some clouds, I become happy, thinking that Ava is thinking about me. That's why I hate when the sky is clear without any clouds.
I remember how I used to pretend that I don't know that she has feelings for me. I used to catch her looking at me but she will turn away shyly trying to ignore me and I always finds that cute. Teasing her was the best part of my life. I love when her cheeks turn rosy when I look at her or stay close to her. I know it affects her, but what she doesn't know was that it affects me too.
Days passed by, I started doing things because I wanted to but not to tease her. Being with her makes me happy and I felt alive. I realized that I was in love with her when I first kissed her. Our lives changed from that moment. I did a lot of things that I regret finally leading me to walk away from her.
I did what I thought was right at that moment hurting us both. But I thought we had more time. I never expected her to just vanish from our lives. That's when I realized how much I hurt her and from that moment I have been trying to forget her and let go. I wish that she is living happily now somewhere with someone who loves her.
My mind came back to the present when I heard my phone ringing. I already knew who it was, so I just ignored it but it kept ringing.
"What?" I asked him not so enthusiastically as soon as I pick up.
"Where the hell are you?" my manager, Edward yelled from the other side.
"What do you want?"
"You need to be here for the photoshoot. The boys are waiting for you."
"It's my break time, and I know they are not waiting," I said firmly.
"Well... I told you I wanted to talk to you at your break." His voice softened trying to ease my mood.
"Not going to happen." I said before cutting the call.
He's been trying to convince me to act in a film as a lead role. Since I am planning to release my solo album this year, according to him, this movie chance will be a good promotion material gaining more reach.
But I am sure it's just the opposite. I am not trying to be cocky, but my album would do great even if I don't do any promotion at all. It's been 7 years since I joined the band and we gained more popularity among the fans and faster than anyone ever did. I can't remember how many awards we won and now we are growing worldwide.
So I don't know why he wants me to do this and besides I am a singer why do I wanna act? Since the album release date is decided it's too much work to act in a film alongside doing the album work. So I have been saying 'no' to him but he is persistent.
The phone rang again annoying the hell out of me. "I said, I am not doing it. Why are you so determined?" I yelled at the phone again picking up the call.
"V, just hear me out. The director is here to see you."
I rolled my eyes in annoyance. "You called a meeting without asking me?" I was beyond angry.
"Just talk to him ok. Listen to the storyline, read the script and if you don't like it I won't disturb you again. Just once... do this for me please?" he almost begged.
"Ok..." I said after thinking for a moment. "But tell me why. Why are you so persistent? What's in it for you?" I asked him curiously.
"He is my friend and he is kind of in a bad situation now. I am just trying to help out a friend ok? You... acting in the film would make it easy for him. People will watch it... for you." He said.
That made me think about it a little more. I almost decided that I would do it, but it's not in my nature to go down easily. "So you agree that you are using me and not the other way around," I asked him smirking even though he cannot see me.
"Oh, don't be so smug. Now come down here, bastard." He cut the call in annoyance.
I went down to Edward's office and was surprised to see Jay was there too along with another person whom I've never met. I am guessing that is the director.
He looks like he is above forty years old wearing a simple white linen shirt paired with loose-fit faded blue jeans. He wore a spectacle that made him look older and his hand went often to his face to adjust it. I understood that he was just nervous watching him tapping his legs on the floor continuously.
He stood up to greet me as soon as I entered the room. "Hello, my name is Richard. Nice to meet you."
"Hello, I am Vian but you know that already and nice to meet you too." I noticed Jay and Ed rolling their eyes hearing that.
"Why are you here?" I directed the question towards Jay.
He just shrugged. "He wants you both to be in his film." Ed filled me in instead. I nodded my head and settled down on my chair.
I listened to every detail of the story Mr. Richard explained. It was a romantic comedy script, and I liked it but I don't know if I can pull it off. Jay was offered a character as my best friend even in the movie and I guess that's why he wanted both of us to do this role. Even off-camera we are known for our friendship among our fans.
"So what do you think?" I asked Jay looking at him.
"I will do it if you are in. I think the story is nice. It will give a different perspective of you to the fans since you are called as 'anti-romantic.'" He teased. But that was the truth. I have never dated anyone after High school and people even thought that I am gay and I am in love with Jay. There's a lot of theories and it's hard to keep up.
"Ok... but I am not sure, though. Have you decided on the female lead role yet?" I asked the director. I just wanted to prepare myself for the role, and it would be better if I know who will be my partner.
"Yeah... It's Ava Peggins. You might have known her as one of the famous models in New York. She's done a small role before in a movie called 'When I see you again.'
Jay and I looked at each other with wide eyes.
"You mean the CEO of the Peggins entertainment?" Jay asked Mr. Richard who looked confused with our reactions.
"Um... yeah..." he looked at us both, unsure of what's going on.
"Are you sure she is in?" my interest was piqued.
"Not yet... but she will be." He said hesitating.
"What do you mean?" Jay asked.
"Well like Edward, her father Willie is my friend too so I asked him a favor and he said he will ask her to do it," he explained.
"So she doesn't know about us yet, right?" I asked him.
"Ok then, we have a deal. If you bring her in I will do it. But keep it a secret that we both are in this film as long as you can." I told him.
He looked at us confused regardless he was happy that his work here was done. We talked a bit more about the script and the schedule before he left.
"What were you thinking?" Jay asked me once we were left alone. Edward went to send off the director.
"I don't know." Honestly, I don't know, but something tells me that this is my second chance and I shouldn't ruin it. Fate has a way of its own to bring people together. I smiled to myself.
"I guess I should be ready to meet her soon." He sighed and got up to leave.
"Hey, V. Wait." Ed came running behind me when I proceeded to the photoshoot after the meeting.
"What's all that about? Do you have a crush on her or something?" he asked me.
I just smiled and walked away.
'Sit tight, Ava. I am sorry I am late, but this time, I am coming to you.'
I feel so empty.
And it's so cold without you.
I am scared, that I might get lost.
My only fear is that I might not find my way,
Back to you.
And I am afraid even if I find you,
You wouldn't take me back.