Let me be your teddy.
Hug me when you’re lonely.
Get comfort from the warmth.
Don’t be sad my babe.
I can’t help you exit.
But I will endure it,
Always and forever,
All the way home and even after washing up and sitting on my table for completing my homework, I couldn’t get it out of my head...get him out of my mind. I can still feel his warm lips on my forehead. It was crazily weird but it also felt good sending shivers to my stomach whenever I thought about it. I don’t know why he kissed me. To be honest it wasn’t a big deal but why my mind is making it a big deal?
It was just a friendly kiss. I am sure it doesn’t mean anything to him... but why? Why do I feel this way? I shouldn’t feel this way. It’s wrong. I don’t even know him that long for me to feel this way. I shook my head to clear the thoughts in my head and tried to concentrate on my homework.
It was so late when I finished my homework, only then I realized that I was hungry. Grandma didn’t call me for dinner, and I know she didn’t like to disturb me while I was studying. I went to her room to check on her, and she was sleeping soundly. I closed the door to her room slowly and went to the kitchen to see what she cooked for dinner.
I heard the doorbell when I waited for the food in the oven which I kept to reheat. It was near 9 pm and I wonder who it was at this time. I opened the door to see two familiar faces.
“V! Jay! What are you guys doing here?“I was really surprised to see them here at this time. They both were soaked completely due to the rain outside and were shivering. They were still wearing their uniform, so I guess they didn’t go home after school.
I didn’t wait for them to say anything. I pulled them inside and offered them a towel each. I took an oversized t-shirt and a hoodie of mine along with some pants from my wardrobe and offered it to them to change. They hesitated but complied when I urged them to do so. I didn’t want them to get sick.
I showed them the guest bedroom to change and went to the kitchen to make some food for them. I didn’t know why they were here but they looked like they were tired and hungry. Even if they weren’t, I don’t want to eat alone when they were here.
I served the dinner on the table and called them. They both are oddly quiet from the moment they were here. I am not sure about Jay but as far as I know, Vian can never be quiet for this long. Jay hesitated for a moment before he touched the food but Vian didn’t wait for him. He ravished it within a minute and didn’t deny it when I served him again. I decided to wait until they finish their food to talk.
They helped me with cleaning and we started to watch TV. Still, they didn’t open their mouth. I guess I should be the one to talk first. I switched off the TV and turned to them with a meaningful look.
“What’s wrong?” They looked down when I asked them. I know they didn’t want to open up to me yet and I was willing to wait but this I can’t overlook. Two boys knocking at my door at night looking like a stray dog is not a simple thing for me to ignore without knowing the reason.
“What made you come here at this time? Is something wrong?“I enquired a little worried.
They both looked at each other’s faces and then mine. I could feel that they were uncomfortable telling me especially Jay and that made me more curious.
Finally, Jay started to talk. “We were hoping... um... do you mind if...” I could see that he was trying so hard to form a sentence but failed to do so. I wonder why.
“We were wondering if we could stay here for the night if you don’t mind. We can sleep on the floor. I swear we won’t snore or anything and we will be on our way once the sun rises.” Vian said anxiously but I didn’t know how to react to that.
“You don’t have to sleep on the floor. You can use the guest room where you showered before.“I said laughing slightly.
“What about your grandmother?” Jay asked me reluctantly.
“Don’t worry about her. I will tell her in the morning. I told her about you guys and she was excited to meet you.” I said with an assuring smile which made him sigh in relief.
“But if it’s not too much to ask, may I ask why you want to stay here? Why didn’t you go home?“I asked carefully not to offend them or scare them off.
I know how difficult it is to open up to a new person even though somewhere inside you know you could trust them. The fact that I did it with them easily doesn’t mean that they have to too. I have never had a friend even before I moved here. Everyone I saw or talked was just an acquaintance but... these two persons right here are different. I want to be with them, and I know it in my heart. I know it’s so stupid for a middle school girl to think like that, but it is what it is. I can’t put my finger on it, but there is something. So I don’t want to scare them off by pushing them to say things to me.
They looked at each other like they were contemplating but Vian was the one who talked first.
“I think we should tell her,” Vian said to Jay
“It’s ok. You said it yourself that we can trust her.” Vian assured Jay who looked miserable. But finally, he nodded his head permitting for Vian to go on.
“Ava, by now I am sure you are curious about things... about us. We try to keep it to ourselves mostly. We don’t hang out with other boys as usual middle school boys do. It’s only Jay for me and me for him. It’s been like that for a while until you.”
“We said we needed to go somewhere after school. It’s not that we wanted to hide it from you, but it’s just...it’s just been our secret for so long, so it wasn’t easy for us to tell you.” Vian carefully explained looking right at my eyes. I can feel that he didn’t want me to feel as left out at the same time he wanted me to understand their feelings. His words amazed me. I never thought Vian could act like this... calm and collected.
“Jay loves dancing. Last year he wanted to join a dance class but his parents were not that supportive of that idea. They wanted him to concentrate only on his studies. But he joined the class regardless of spending his pocket money. When his parents found out about it, they cut off his pocket money and they started beating him every day for something he didn’t do.”
“His grandmother, who lives in London with his uncle came to know about this and she started sending money to Jay. Luckily he was able to befriend some of the older guys from the dance class, and they agreed to coach him. So he started practicing secretly without his parent’s knowledge or anyone. He wanted to be a dancer, and he is working hard for that.”
“As you know I am living with my grandparents and Jay practically lives with us. After school, we go to work together to save some money. I decided to help him in every way I can. And then he would go for his dance class and I would go to my violin class and then we come home together.”
“Today my grandparents left town informing us to stay at Jay’s house. But when we went there...” he stopped and looked at Jay worried. Jay was on the verge of crying but he hid his face lowering his head looking at his feet.
“What is it?“I was worried thinking about the possibility of his parents hurting him. I never imagined that Jay might be living this kind of life. I was really grateful that he had Vian at that time and I wish I were there for him too.
“His father was so drunk, and we were afraid... Jay was afraid that he might hurt us. We don’t have anywhere to go, and we were tired and starving after all that practice...I am so sorry Ava but we didn’t know what to do... this never happened before. Jay didn’t want to, but I forced him to come here...” Vian trailed off trying to explain.
I didn’t let him continue. I hurried to stand between them winding my arms around their neck and hugged them. I slightly shifted my body and hugged Jay tightly. He buried his face on my shoulder and started crying.
“I didn’t want anyone to pity me. No one knows about my parents except our school Principal and our history teacher. Mr. Harrison saw my bruises one day and reported it to the principal.“He said while sobbing. He tried to control it, but he couldn’t. It made me cry too.
We hugged ourselves tighter trying to console each other for how long I didn’t know. But that night decided our fate. That moment cemented our future together.
I can now understand their weirdness and maturity beyond their age. Vian might be childish sometimes, but he was the most thoughtful and kind-hearted person I have ever seen. Vian took care of Jay as much as Jay took care of him.
From that day on, we became the best of the best friends if there was even a thing like that. Everyone envied us about our friendship some even hated us, tried to break us. We thought we were stronger than those people, but it finally happened, and it was all my fault.
Enjoy reading -T
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