The Road to Oneself

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"He who blames others has a long way to go on his journey. He who blames himself is halfway there. He who blames no one has arrived" *** A 28-year-old woman was forced to face her worse nightmare after watching her husband and her two kids leave her alone to walk out the door and out of her life completely before being told it was her decision her fault that she chose her career more than her marriage. Grace was devastated and cried herself to blackout only to wake up and being notified she has never been married or have any kids. In fact, she was in the hospital for the opposite purposes.      join Grace Parker in her short story as she is forced to face her worse fears.  And how she thrives through it.   Her journey to, self-discovery. Hope. And surprises that life throws at her.  ***

Romance / Children
Age Rating:


The first thing I say to myself when I opened my eyes was ‘I am a hypocrite, so fucking hypocrite at that.

Then abruptly I felt something hopping up and down. Opening my eyes, the first thing I did as an intuition was to grab my daughter and start tickling her so hard.

She was laughing begging me to stop and calling for her older brother to come save her.

Lena was whirling here and there and nothing felt so alive as that moment for me.

When her brother came, he joined in and began jumping up and down with her. Laughing and asking what we will do for our day today.

“ mommy mommy I need pancakes and eggs and –“ my 5 year old son, Marco began to mention everything he wants to eat.

“ woouw! slow down buddy, you can’t eat all those, no wonder you are losing all the teeth. Come here let me take another one out” I grab him as he was trying to run away laughing.

“ mommy I have all teeth come on see” showing me all his teeth.

“ yes, my big big boy is growing up so much,”

“ yes i am big now, I will protect you mother from all monsters ”. He explained and making actions like he was fighting an imaginary monster.

“definitely you have to protect us dear, now off to breakfast, the last one looses”. They start running off.

Lena, the youngest was 1 year old, following her brother with her tiny feet.

This was my world. I was happy with my two beautiful children right there, wanting to give them the world because they mean that much to me.

Finding them playing with chocolate almost made me eat them alive, my kitchen was a mess and how the hell were they able to turn it upside down in a minute.?

I stare at them as they act surprised of what they did.

Smiling I just shook my head and applied more chocolate to marco’s hair. He ran screaming all over the kitchen.

A knock was heard after we finished our breakfast. Marco was the first to go open the door. “ daddy ” I could hear him scream.

I ran to the living room, somehow deep down I felt something was wrong, but what was it really? We are perfect. Happy. With my kids. Right? Then what was this feeling that I felt deep down.?

I watched Marco been listed up and twirled around by his dad; Lena followed later trying to hold her dad's legs.

Scott put down Marco and lifted Lena up who was so eager to be in her dad arms somehow.

I watch him smile and laugh with the kids. He was handsome. This man was handsome, with blue eyes, tall and consciously charming. When he laughs, his dimples shows which are so identical to Marco and Lena.

“ hey babe, I missed you so much” he uttered as he carried me up.

I felt something in my heart that this was not real, but it was, I could feel and touch my husband and kids.

Scot put me down and looked at me.

” I am sorry I am late, flight took longer than anticipated. Now remove that face and bring back my beautiful wife”. He kissed me.

I felt butterflies I hadn’t felt in ages, so I kissed him. My husband. My charming handsome husband. I held him by the neck and felt his body closer to me. The smell of his tom ford fragrance invited my nose closer to him. Mmh he smelled good.

“ I miss you too, now welcome home”. Taking off his jacket. “take a shower and freshen up, I will prepare breakfast for you”.

“ how about a shower together, that sounds more good don’t you think love”. He was more saying than asking for his hands were all over me again.

I giggled. He was making me feel strange things at that.

“ the kids will destroy my kitchen again if I leave them in a minute. Now go and takea shower then I will be there in a minute. How does breakfast in bed sounds like?” teasing him by licking my lips.

“ woman you will be the death of me, shower right away”. He kissed me.

The kiss was emotional like nothing I ever felt before. He did not want to let go. And neither did i. I closed my eyes and deepened the kiss. Holding his neck and pulling him down to me. Kissing him for he had been gone for a week. It felt great. It was perfect.

Until I opened my eyes and see him looking at me.

“ Grace, I have been talking to you, did you hear anything I said,” he asked, his voice was soft and sweet.

“ what?”. I did not understand, wasn’t he the one kissing me and devouring me right now. He was about to go to take a shower right?, I took off his coat and – what?.

As I look at him, he was there standing, still with his coat on and never took any step towards me. What the hell?

It when I caught a glimpse of the woman next to him. She was blonde and younger, beautiful at that. She looked at me then looked aside avoiding my eyes. No! she was not here before, were did she come from? Scot who Is she?

Scot looked confused too, like he had no idea what I was saying or either I was speaking in another language.

“ what are you talking about Grace?, you know Anika, my girlfriend and once your friend. What is going on Grace?”

Oh no, it can’t be, I am friends with her? How? When? and why don’t I remember that?. I keep looking at her, she drew back a little to hold scot hand.

my heart crushed and for a moment i could not breath. If she was my friend why did she take the only wonderful man away from me? Scot loves me; I can see it in his eyes.

“come on kids, let’s go. Marco did you pack everything?” scot asked and Marco nodded. Trying to remove some chocolate on his head.

“ yes we are ready to go dad” he was heading towards the door.

My heart gave out and I could not process anything anymore. The only things that matter to me in this life were walking out of my life. Why? What was going on. Without knowing I was crying.

“ hey grace, stop please, we have been through this before.” Scot said without even walking to me to comfort me. “you made this choice grace remember, I begged you and pleaded to you, but I guess you love your career more than us. You gave up on us grace.”

I could feel scot sincerity in his tone. I left him? Why did I leave the most amazing man in the world. And my kids? They are everything. They are my happiness and my world.

“ I never left you, what are you talking about?”. I asked with tears in my eyes. I could not comprehend the situation. It was ripping my heart in half. I was in pain and I felt I could die any second scot leaves that door. So I kept talking just to get more understand on that.

“ really? Ever since you got pregnant, you changed, said did not want kids and regret having them. You almost had an abortion grace but I pleaded and stood by you. Thinking that maybe it was pregnancy hormones. But even when you gave birth, you did not want to touch Lena.” Scot paused and looked at me.

I could see hurt in his eyes. I hurted this man. This wonderful man in front of me.

“ I did everything, I tried my best for you grace but at the end you broke my heart to pieces. It took me a while to be okay. It’s when I met Anika here. Life became easier.”

“but I love kids scot you know that, I fucking love kids”, now I was crying harder. I truly love kids and whatever scot was saying could not be true. Could it? No way.

“ maybe in another universe but not this grace. No you don’t. Now we have to go, Marco say goodbye to your mother.”

No! no! no! please no!. I could not control my emotions at the time. My vision was clouded with tears. My heart was heavy. I could not breathe and just wanted someone to pull me out of that nightmare. It must be a nightmare. But why does it hurt so badly if it was one.?

Marco came closer to me and hugged me. The words he said next brought panic in my body

“ don’t worry mother, I forgive you, and will always protect you. Now go back”

He stood up and smiled at me. His eyes were blue like Scots, but they were filled with tears and pain.

Damn it. What did I do? Why did I let go of this wonderful family.

I held Marco again. So hard and cried. “please don’t go, don’t leave me please I love you. I love marco look at mommas eyes. See I love you”.

I tried to shake him and make him see how much I love him. He was crying, he held my face with his little hands and looked straight into my eyes.

“ mother, I know you love me, I know you love us. But something’s are meant to be, and us not being with you was meant to be”,

He kissed my cheek and ran outside.

I look at scot as he was turning to look at me. I pleaded with my eyes for him not to go. My words could not come out completely, just sobs could be heard.

Scot looked sympathetically to me, then he turned, held Anika and left. He was carrying Lena at his shoulder.

I watched as how Lena smiled at me one last time, showing of her dimples. I broke down completely. God I could not contain myself any more.

“ no, no, I must be dreaming. Grace go to sleep when you wake up, everything will be back to normal. Right?” the more I asked my self any question the more I cried.

I looked at the empty house. Silence welcomed me. I can’t take this anymore. God please I can’t take this anymore. Please wake me up from this nightmare I beg you please.

I cried so hard. Until the last thing I saw was the house getting dark. My chest heavier and I could not breathe anymore. Darkness welcomed me andi slipped into it.

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