I looked up at the ceiling and cursed God for putting me in this situation. I'm totally terrified of being coped up in here. I've never liked the idea of being alone ever since I've got her, but at this particular situation, I've got no choice. My mind keeps wandering to Tam who's alone in there in our home, with her growing belly. I was ecstatic when we found out she was pregnant. I've been planning to give her a surprise get together with her friends, but then I was doomed.
I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard the door open.
"Your food is here" a gruff voice called out.
I just laid on the bed immobile, and kept my eyes shut. I hoped this is a just a dream, a nightmare to be precise, but a nightmare doesn't last for almost... a week, right?
I blew out a breath as her light brown eyes flashed in my mind. Her contagious laugh, that gentle smile. But right now, even thinking about it is too much. I hope I could just get out of here soon. I hated the idea of her being alone with my unborn kid.
"We'll name him Aaron"
"What if it's a girl?" she raised a brow.
I chuckled, "I'm sure it's a boy"
"Honey, I'm the one carrying your kid. I'm sure it's a girl" she grinned.
"How sure? On the scale of ten?"
"I'd say eleven" she smirked.
"Really, Tam?" I drawled.
"Call it a mother intuition"
I smiled softly, "Then we'll name her Maria"
She looked at me wide eyed and her lip quivered, "You're naming her after my sister?", her eyes watered.
I panicked "Baby, I'm so sorry. I thought it's a good thing. Okay let's think of-"
"Aww, I'm just... I didn't expect that" she chuckled suddenly, wiping her tears off.
"It was just pregnancy hormones" she snorted and then started laughing. But she started crying again.
"Tam?" I whispered.
"I miss her so much" she sighed wiping her eyes again, "but I'm with you. We'll name her Maria".
"Are you sure?" I frowned.
"I'm fine you dork" she rolled her eyes.
Jeez, her mood swings is actually confusing. But damn cute too.
I chuckled, "Dork?"
"Dork" she giggled.
"I love you" I stroked the phone as I ached to touch her face.
"I love you too" she leaned down a made a smooching sound on the screen.
"You're beautiful" I smiled when she blushed. She's always felt shy when I complimented.
"Thank you" she whispered.
"You're not gonna tell me I'm beautiful?"
"You're not beautiful" she rolled her eyes.
"Keep rolling your eyes love, you'll find your brain"
"Ha ha ha" she sassed and rolled her eyes again, "but I'll admit you're handsome" she paused, "actually, you look hot right now. With that stubble" she sighed and then flashed me a wide grin.
I'm aching to hold her now.
"I've gotta go, love"
"Aww, time's up already" she whined.
"I'll call you tonight" I chuckled.
"Alright, bye" she blew me a kiss and then I was admiring my wallpaper.
It was one of my favorite pictures. She was facing me and she had her arms around my middle. Her long lashes casted a shadow over her cheekbones. Her lips were lightly parted and her long, wavy black hair fell over her shoulders and onto my chest. She pressed her nose to my neck and let out a sigh. A few strands of hair fell onto her forehead. She looked so cute when she slept. I had to lean over her to take my phone and she slightly stirred. But I know she won't wake up, she always slept like a baby. She always woke up earlier than me and I had no idea how she did that though.
"I miss you so much" I whispered, looking up at the ceiling. I let the tears flow down my cheeks. I've never cried except when my dad died, but I'm crying now. I'm crying because I miss her. I'm crying thinking of what if I don't get cured. I'm crying because what if don't get a chance to see her one last time. I'm crying thinking how she have to tell our kid daddy's gone. Mainly I'm crying, thinking...
What if I couldn't hold her one last time?