I was uhh h-hot
My eyes are closed but I’m awake. I’m ready to sleep but my brain doesn’t seem to want to shut off. Thought after thought circles around like a cycle with no off switch. My mind has always been active, and shutting it down for the night has always been a struggle of mine.
I can’t tell if Declan’s asleep, his arm is curled around my waist and my back pressed close to his chest. His breathing seems even enough, but his breathing is always even. Declan has a sort of calm around him that makes him seem like he’s comfortable all the time, even in tough situations. A calm that I myself don’t have.
Perhaps I can’t sleep because I still feel guilty. I feel guilty for running on my own and making Declan worry about me. When I got back and saw his face, my chest ached, I hated seeing him upset. He should always smile because someone as beautiful as him doesn’t deserve to frown.
He was working though and Olivia was busy, Thomas is in college, my mom was working too so I didn’t know what to do. I needed to get away from my thoughts, to have a clear mind space. The only way to do that was to do something that made my brain quiet and running is a good temporary distraction.
The only option I had was to go alone, but I shouldn’t have. Some decisions I make on impulse and that was one of them. The soundless house was killing me after so long I couldn’t take it anymore.
“What’s bothering you, baby?” Declan murmurs resting his head on my shoulder.
My eyes flutter open even though it’s dark and I can’t see anything. “I thought you were sleeping?” I whisper, glancing at the clock. It reads two am.
His fingers begin to trace circles on my exposed naval where my t-shirt well Declan’s has risen. A sigh passes my lips, as his warm calloused fingers graze my skin. A sizzling heat flushes my body from head to toe. The way he makes me feel even in the smallest of gestures is unexplainable.
I’ve never been close to someone like I am with him. I’ve never been able too, but he makes it easy. “I can’t sleep.” He mumbles nuzzling my neck. “Not when something’s upsetting you.”
My heart stutters, he knows. When doesn’t he?
Slowly I turn over so I can face him. “My head, it’s so loud,” I tell him, not knowing how else to describe it.
In the blackness I can see his outline, his elbow now propping up his head now that I’ve changed positions. “Come here.” He beckons softly, holding his arms out.
I scoot closer. Too slow for his liking, he leans over and pulls me in, lifting me on top of him. My head instinctively settles above his heart. He lifts one leg placing it on top of mine, so we are entwined together. Once again his fingers find somewhere to touch me, this time they twirl my hair.
“How about I try to quiet it down?” He mutters, his lips brushing my forehead. Not waiting for my reply, his hands trail down my back with a gentleness I can barely feel. His graze is like a prickling fire, hot tinder coming to life.
So easily my breathing picks up, shallow yet quick. He takes his fingers and traces them wherever he sees fit all the while my brain goes fuzzy, him as my only thought. I can’t help as I wriggle against him, I can’t logically stay still when his touch is an electrical pulse shocking these sensations so divine into me.
I was so thankful for the dark, he wouldn’t be able to see the blush covering my cheeks. But with my warm skin against his shirtless chest, I’m sure he could feel it. My body was burning up as if I were running a high-grade fever.
“How is it now.” He breaths, drawing simple patterns on my back.
Drowning in you.
My breaths came out harsh, I will myself to get it under control before I try to speak. “Umm...b-better.” I stutter, trying to push myself up. He doesn’t have it, tightening his hold on me.
“What are you doing?” He grumbles.
Well, you see I’m burning up and need to splash some cold water on my face because I’m afraid if I get any hotter I’ll start melting. “I need to pee,” I mumble, needing to cool myself down a couple of degrees.
Thankfully Declan accepts my excuse, letting me free. I ungracefully get up and hurry to the bathroom making sure to close the door behind me. When I see my reflection I cringe, my baby hairs are clinging to the skin of my forehead and my face is a blotchy mess.
Switching the cold water handle on, I waste no time splashing it onto my red face. With the cool water, my body heat dwindles down a couple of notches. I grab the nearest towel and pat my face dry.
Still, my face is flushed, but at least it’s a lighter less ugly shade. Before I go to leave I wait another whole minute, so my excuse is believable. The door swings open just as I’m about to reach for the handle.
I jump back in surprise. Declan stands there shirtless, looking as good as ever, his tattoo on full display. His gorgeous green orbs fall onto me. “Feeling better?” He asks lazily.
I suddenly cross my arms and glance at my feet. I don’t want him to see my face, it looks like I just ran a marathon or something, and it’s gross. Yet he looks fine, unaffected. “Mhm.” I hum quietly.
“I thought you had to pee?” He states, and out of the corner of my eyes, I see him lean against the door frame and cross his arms.
Not realizing it, I’ve started shifting from foot to foot. Did he just catch my lie? I thought I made it believable. “I uhh d-did,” I mumble.
“Hmm.” He murmurs, “The toilet didn’t flush.”
My face begins to burn again. Why does he do this to me? “Well umm, I guess I forgot,” I mutter.
“Yeah.” He draws in a curious tone. He drops his arms and begins to walk forwards in my direction, stopping when he’s right in front of me. “Or there is another reason you forgot to mention.”
My hands fiddle with the end of his large shirt, “N-no I don’t think so.” I stammer.
His thumbs reach up and caress my warm cheeks, “I know you, Ellie, very well actually.” He coos, “I know you so well that I know when you’re lying.” He tells me, “So why is it you escaped in here?”
I glance up taking in his features, his plush’s lips, his hollowed cheeks, and the slight grin. He waits so patiently. “I was uhh h-hot.” The amusement in his eyes is not missed. “You were hot.” He repeats my sentence. “So why didn’t you just tell me?”
I close my eyes. “B-because.” His thumb gently hovers over my eyes. “Because why?” He presses. “Open your eyes.”
I shake my head, this is so embarrassing. All I wanted to do was splash my face to cool down. “Just tell me.”
Sighing I open my eyes, I look everywhere but him. “I just needed to c-cool down, I was s-sweating.”
He smiles. “Because of me?” He questions. I don’t even have to answer because he already knows. His chuckle fills the room. “You don’t have to be embarrassed, it’s natural baby.”
I cover my face with my hands. “Can we go back to bed?” I plead, not wanting to talk about this anymore.
His hands fall on top of mine, removing them from my face. His smile is still shining. “Come on, I’ll keep the touching to a minimum.” He teases lightly, leading me back to bed.
Declan left early this morning, he had to go back to his apartment to freshen up for school. He wanted to bring me to school, but I told him I would drive. I liked to drive and usually, he’s the one who always drives us around. He didn’t like the idea, but in the end, he gave in, though he was still wary on the subject.
His birthday was coming up soon and I needed to get him something. I had brought it up once but he brushed it off, telling me it wasn’t important. But it was important to me, of course, I haven’t brought it up sense but I haven’t forgotten about it as he wanted me to either.
Knowing Declan, his birthday must be a touchy subject. Living with Julian his whole life, I can’t imagine how they celebrated.
I didn’t know what to get him, I know he didn’t want anything but that wasn’t an option. His birthday this year would be special.
The drive to school was quiet, it was weird to drive alone. I haven’t driven alone in a while, and if I was being honest I preferred to ride with Declan. He calmed my nerves just knowing he was right beside me. Now that he wasn’t, I was anxious. It was my idea and now I’m regretting it immensely.
We always walked in together, would he wait for me today? Would he walk in on his own? My hands squeezed the steering wheel tight as I tried to pay close attention to the road. Would I have to walk into the school on my own? Will everybody look at me?
The thoughts that never seem to shut up came back, and Declan wasn’t here right now to stop them. Why does every little thing have to stress me out? Why can’t I just be normal for once?
The ride prolonged and my anxiety increased. I’m being ridiculous, this is just school, not some crazy alien invasion. Still, nothing seemed to ease my mind, only Declan could do that.
Pulling into the parking lot, I search for Declan’s GMC and after a minute I find it parked between two other vehicles. A shaky breath leaves my lips, I’ll just park somewhere close no big deal. Turning off the engine, I reach over to grab my book bag and phone in the passenger seat. My sports bags in the back.
My phone screen turns on as soon as I pick it up. ′Where are you Lil’ one?′
A smile greets my face. ′I’m here.′ I text back.
′You should have ridden with me.′ He sends back. ′I’m coming to get you, so don’t worry that pretty head of yours :)′
I giggle, he knows me too well.
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