Dependent On You
Adrian Taylor’s is her name. Adrian turned age four in August and was attending her first day of pre-k today. She was not the least bit thrilled about it either. You see Adrian was a severely shy girl who suffered from separation anxiety. Her mother was her safety net.
One time Adrian’s mother tried to drop her off at the babysitters and little Adrian threw a crying fit. She clung to her mother’s leg and held on for dear life. She would not let her mother leave her there even if it was only for a few hours. The thought of her mother not being by her side to make her feel safe terrified her.
It’s not that Adrian purposely acted this way, she was born this way.
It wasn’t her fault.
She was one of a kind her father would say. It’s okay to be different he would tell her. Adrian’s father always knew how to make little Adrian feel better. He would turn her negatives into positives.
The morning of Adrian’s first day of school was not a bright one. Her mother woke her up and got her ready in Adrian’s favorite striped turtleneck and Dora vest. Her mother combed her straight blonde hair all the while Adrian sat miserably holding her soft purple blanket.
Adrian did not like her hair touched, that’s why it was only combed straight. That purple blanket she was holding, she brought it everywhere never leaving it behind. For some reason, she was drawn to it and loved it even though it was nothing special. Well, it was special to her.
There used to be a small silk outline around the blanket but when she was younger her mother cut it off. Still, Adrian loved it, and slept with it every night.
After eating, brushing Adrian’s teeth, and putting on Adrian’s sneakers they were ready to wait for the afternoon bus. She was going to be attending afternoon pre-k for only half a day. But to Adrian, that was too long to be away from her safety net.
Her mother packed her little purple blanket into her character book bag, she thought if Adrian had it with her she would feel better.
Too soon the big yellow school bus came. Any other child would usually walk right onto the bus no problem and have their parents buckle them in. But not Adrian, she refused to go on that horrible bus.
She began to cry, little Adrian hugged her mom so tight in fear. Her mother tried to usher her onto the bus but Adrian would not budge. Her little hands fisted her mother’s jeans, her head hid behind her mother’s legs so the bus couldn’t see her.
“No no no, mommy please don’t let them take me.” She wailed.
Her mother tried to undo her daughter's fists. “Adrian we talked about this, it's your first day come on.”
Adrian held on for as long as she could, as tight as she could. But of course, her mother was stronger than her, she was a grown woman. Her mother picked her up into her arms and began walking towards the school bus.
Adrian screamed and cried. “I don’t want to go, mommy, I don’t want to.” Her beautiful face was soaked with salty tears. Her cheeks became blotchy. “No mommy, please don’t make me.”
Her mother stood her ground but on the inside, she was worried sick for her baby. She loved Adrian with all her heart and hated seeing her like this. But she knew Adrian had to go to school, her attachment to her mother was unhealthy and her mother thought this would help her overcome it.
Through Adrian’s loud sobs, her mother continued onto the bus. She placed Adrian in the third seatback. Adrian saw all the other happy children staring at her and that made her wail harder. “D-don’t leave me, mommy, please don’t leave me.”
Her mother had a difficult time buckling Adrian’s seatbelt due to Adrian clinging to her. Once her seatbelt was buckled, Adrian’s mother took Adrian’s hands in hers and looked Adrian in her ocean eyes. “It will only be for a little while and then you’ll see mommy again, I love you, Adrian.” Her mother spoke softly trying to soothe her baby girl, but she knew Adrian would not be calm as long as she was on this bus without her.
Adrian’s own mother had tears in her eyes. She was nervous to leave Adrian, knowing Adrian did not do good without her. Seeing her baby like this tore at her, she almost gave into Adrian. But before she could she kissed her forehead and turned around trying her best to tell herself Adrian would be alright, though Adrian’s sobs heavily tried to convince her otherwise.
Adrian was not an easy child. She was fragile.
Watching her mother walk away from her was terrifying. She tried desperately to pull the seat belt off, she pushed the red button down as hard as she could with her small sweaty hands but she simply couldn’t get it to open.
“Mommy.” She kept yelling.
She didn’t know what to do. She wanted her mom more than anything to come back and get her but deep down she knew that wasn’t going to happen. She was more scared then she has ever been in her short life span of four years.
Adrian quietly hiccuped in her seat the whole way to school. She hugged her purple blanket that her mom packed her to her chest and cried.
This was a very bad day for Adrian, and she couldn’t wait for it to be over.
The school bus pulled up to a red brick building. Through the window, Adrian could see two adult females waiting outside. Adrian pulled her blanket closer, her lips began to tremble. She just wanted her mommy, she didn’t want to be here.
The bus driver stood up from his seat first. He was a tall young male, and that intimidated little Adrian. Guys always scared her more than girls did. The bus driver began to walk down the aisles and unbuckle the seatbelts. Other kids on the bus already had theirs undone but Adrian did not.
Adrian quickly tried to pull her seatbelt off, but like before she couldn’t. It was too strong for her, she needed help. Adrian didn’t know what to do, usually, her mommy or daddy would help her but they weren’t here.
She began to panic, her hiccups became louder and her tears began to flow faster. Adrian needed her mommy. This always happened when Adrian got overwhelmed.
The bus driver arrived at her seat and Adrian’s teeth chattered. He was tall and his presence scared Adrian, she couldn’t help it. She wasn’t used to being around other people without her parents.
He leaned down and unbuckled her seatbelt, but before he went to the next student he gave her a reassuring smile and said, “You’ll be okay kiddo, it will get better.”
Adrian didn’t believe him, she knew the only person who could make her feel better was her mommy. She knew she wasn’t like the other kids, and this day was going to get a lot worse.
She sat in her seat not wanting to move. She didn’t want to, she wanted to go home. Adrian was afraid to get off the bus, all the other kids were already off but she didn’t want to be with the other kids.
A younger lady came onto the bus, she was one of the ladies Adrian saw standing outside. She had brown hair and hazel eyes. She walked over to Adrian with a kind smile and kneeled down.
“You must be Adrian.” Her voice was soft.
Adrian nodded her head and wiped her tear-stained cheeks. Her blanket was clenched close to her giving little comfort. But it smelled familiar, like home.
“I’m Miss. Lynn, it’s very nice to meet you.”
Adrian stayed quiet. Miss. Lynn didn’t mind, she and the other pre-k teachers knew about Adrian’s severe shyness. Actually Miss. Lynn thought it was adorable. Adrian’s mother specified this when she signed Adrian up for pre-k, she specifically made it clear that Adrian has separation anxiety and was very timid.
Miss. Lynn knew Adrian was scared. “Do you like games Adrian?” She asked.
Adrian once again nodded her head.
“We have games and snacks inside, will you come and play with us?” Miss. Lynn chose her words carefully, she wanted Adrian to feel comfortable.
For the third time, Adrian nodded. Miss. Lynn kept that soft smile and said, “I’m very excited to get to know you.”
Adrian felt a little better. Miss. Lynn seemed nice, she was very pretty Adrian thought just like her mommy.
Miss. Lynn stood up and grabbed Adrian’s book bag slinging it over her shoulder. She held out a hand for Adrian and Adrian hesitantly took it very carefully. Adrian was still very nervous.
On the other hand, Adrian held her blanket. Slowly Miss. Lynn led her off the bus. The other kids and teachers were waiting outside. The kids were in a line but Miss. Lynn kept Adrian close to her.
Inside the classroom, the teacher had labeled little cubbies with hooks that had all the kid's names on each individual one. Miss. Lynn showed Adrian to her hook and hung up her book bag in Adrian’s cubby.
After the teachers round up the children and had them sit on the alphabet carpet. But Adrian didn’t, she sat at one of the tables with Miss. Lynn. She really wanted her mommy and once again started to cry.
“Hey... Hey Adrian what's wrong?” Miss. Lynn asks clearly concerned.
Adrian stuffs her purple blanket in her face. “I-I want my m-mommy.” She hiccups out.
“Oh honey, we’re going to play some fun games and then in a couple of hours you’ll see your mommy I promise.”
Adrian shook her head back and forth. She wanted her mommy now, not in a couple of hours. “I-I j-just want my m-mommy.” She quivered.
Miss. Lynn’s heart hurt for this little girl, she was so delicate.
The other teacher in the room who Adrian learned was Mrs. Blake began to speak welcoming the kids on their first-ever day of school. She began to tell the children of the different play stations they have set up. The nursery section, the art and craft section, the puzzle section, the building blocks section, and the reading section.
There was even a time out chair which Adrian did not like. It gave her knots in her stomach hearing about it.
Through Adrian’s tear-filled vision she observed the other kids. They all seemed happy and Adrian felt the complete opposite. There were the same amount of boys as there were girls.
When Mrs. Blake was done explaining the rules and showing the children around she let them go and play with the stations. Adrian didn’t know what to do. There were kids at every station and it caused panic in her stomach. This is why she needed her mommy.
She refused to go and play, she was too scared. She sat at the table sniffling and holding her blanket close.
Mrs. Blake and Miss. Lynn came up to Adrian. Mrs. Blake kneeled down before Adrian and said, “Sweetheart don’t you want to play?”
Adrian’s whole body was trembling, she didn’t like this one bit. She shook her head. What she wanted was to go home.
Mrs. Blake must have noticed her trembling. “Oh goodness your shaking.”
That’s when Adrian began to sob. “I n-need my m-mommy.”
Miss. Lynn put her hand on Mrs. Blake’s shoulder silently telling her she can handle it. Mrs. Blake stares for a second before reluctantly standing up and nodding her head.
Miss. Lynn sits down in the chair next to Adrian. She doesn’t ask Adrian what’s wrong, she just begins to tell a story out of nowhere. At first, Adrian didn’t care, she didn’t want to hear it. But as the story prolonged Adrian’s hiccups lessened, she started to enjoy the story. She wanted to know what was going to happen next. Was the big bad wolf going to blow the third little piggies house down like the other two?
The story took Adrian’s mind off of what was going on around her. Adrian enjoyed all kinds of stories, her daddy would always read to her before bed and she loved it.