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Chapter 21

I open my window, I pull a chair near the window. I take a cigarette and lit it. This has become my habit, especially if I have problem. I looked at the sky and I take a deep breath. I still can’t believe what happened today. Right now I’m having problem with Blake, my relationship with him has been going on for a long time, and there’s no way I’ll betray him.

Now suddenly Adam came. I realized he was attractive, he wasn’t my age, that’s made him different. I don’t know what to think or do with Adam, after what he had done to me earlier. I do play with guys before and they are the same age as me but that was before I hooked up with Blake.

When I play with guys before, I know how they are but Adam was different and I couldn’t figure out how or what he would do to me. Until now, Blake and I have not communicated. I’ve been avoiding him for several days. He called me many times and texted me a lot, but I ignored them all. I know how he is and I don’t want to provoke him even more with Adam’s problem. I looked at the clock, it was already late. thinking about this problem would not end. I better sleep and forget all the problems that happened.

I saw my wristwatch, it seems that today I still have time to have breakfast on campus. When I walked out the parking lot, I saw Blake was in front of the building. Damn, I can’t avoid him this time. We do have to solve our problems. I walked towards him, I saw the look on his eyes like he wanted to kill me.

Blake snapped at me “Where have you been ? I called many times, I texted, but no answered”

I pulled his hand, I took him away from there. I don’t want him to make a scene in front of my building. He brushed my hand, I was shocked. I snapped him “It’s up to you if you want to get angry but this is not the place to be. If you want us to solve our problems, come with me. I turn around and walk. When walking I felt Blake holding my hand, I didn’t say anything and continued walking.

I took him to the parking lot, when I took out my key, he rushed to snatch it. I don’t want to make a fuss here, so I go to the passenger side and get in the car. In the car I told him to go to my flat then I turn my gaze to the window, he just stares at me then his eyes back to the front of road. Along the way none of us spoke.

When we arrived at my flat, I took my cigarette from my bag then I put my bag on the table. I sat on the sofa while I lit my cigarette, I looked at him

“What the heck is your problem ? The last time we talked on the phone you yelled at me, accusing me. For God’s sake, I just went swimming and I went alone. Blake, we’ve been in touch for a long time. I never forbid or ask all your business. I think it’s fair that you also do the same to me.”

Blake sat beside me, he was holding his head in both hands, he looked frustrated “you know I love you right ? When I called you and you didn’t answer, I was almost crazy thinking what you did. I thought you were with a guy.”

“You know Blake, this is ridicilous, you know what I look like and now you doubt me. Blake, if you want our relationship works, you have to trust me completely. Because that’s what I did to you”

Blake suddenly hugged me, he put my head on his chest, stroked my hair and whispered

“I hate seeing us fight, you know I was almost crazy when I found out you were gone and I couldn’t reach you. I couldn’t lose you, I love you so much. Forgive me for accusing you, I’m just pissed off.”

I looked into his eyes, his gaze filled with regret. I smiled then I held his cheek with my hands. I kissed his lips, he kissed me back. The rest of the day I didn’t return to campus, I was with Blake in my flat. We spend time cuddling in front of television watching movies. It’s been a long time since we’ve been like this, I just realized how much I miss his hugs and kisses.

Last night Blake didn’t want to go back to his place. He insisted to sleep on my sofa. He doesn’t want to leave me yet. I’m facing a stubborn Blake, so I’ll just let it go. When this morning I left my room, I saw he still sleeping on the sofa. I went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for both of us. After finished, I took quick shower and get ready to go to campus. I see Blake is still sleeping. I knelt in from of him, I stroked his face, his eyes slowly opened he looked a little sleepy.

“Morning handsome, breakfast is in the kitchen, eat before you go home. I can’t accompany you today, I have morning class and I’m almost late. I kissed his forehead, this time he just smiled then hugged me and pecked my lips. I took my car keys then closed the door slowly.

This time it was the biggest fight between me and Blake. Usually I always give in with his wishes. Maybe because yesterday was a bunch of all the stuff so I exploded. I love Blake, it’s just that it’s still difficult for me to adapt to Blake’s wishes. He wanted me to always be near him, no socializing, I had to tell him where or with whom I was going. I know he did it because he loved me, but some times his possessiveness is killing me.

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