When I’m in my room, I pull out the small box that Blake gave me. The small box wrapped with chocolate papers, the box is neatly wrapped. I open it slowly, its a cassette, I read the cover
Thank you for being my girlfriend, all the song on this cassette are my feelings for you. I hope we will be forever
Damn Blake, now I speechless, another things of him that makes me admired him more. I know its so lame, but I guess he is a romantic persons, who still using cassette when now you have spotify isn’t? I remembered I still keeping my old walkmans somewhere inside my closet, I running to my closet and searching that damn walkmans.
I put the cassette inside, I push the play button and I heard I live my life for you Fire house playing. Shit Blake, what are you doing to me ? how can you be this damn romantic ... He’ll going to be the death of me. While listening of the music, I hold my phone, want to send him messages, but when I touch my screen, I see Sean send me messages
Gia, I’m sorry, I can’t face you. Today when I saw you at the cafe, I’m shocked, I don’t know you with Blake dating. I thought you never have relationship with any of us. I have feelings from you since the first time I laid my eyes on you, maybe you never realized it. I was to scared to admitted, I’m afraid of rejection. That’s why I never told you that I liked you. But when I saw you sit in Blake lap, I can’t holding it, Ryan saw it too. He know how my feelings to you. He took me out there, Ryan not mad at you neither do I. But I just regret why I never try to confess my feeling to you soon, and now I’m late, you with him. I can’t sit there and hanging around while watching you with Blake. I’m so sorry, I changing my tutoring class time, today. I guess I will never see you again. I’m sorry I have to be like this. Nice knowing you
Its like I get hit by a bus when I read Sean messages, I know he had crush with me, I know how this will be end. Even I know, I still feels sad and sorry for him, I never meant to hurt him, but I know from the beginning I don’t have any feeling for him. I don’t know how to reply him, or should I ignore it. I lay my head on my pillow, I don’t realized I’m crying, when I feel my tears running through my cheek.
I hear my phone ringing, I see that Blake calling me
“Baby, are you sleeping ?”
I keep silent, but sobbing, he sound worried “whats wrong baby, talk to me” he said softly
I can’t take anymore, I’m crying in the phone, he just silent listening me. When I calm and feel relaxed, “Blake I’m sorry for crying, you must wasting your time hearing me crying” trying to cheerful.
“Baby, tell me, is something happened ? you don’t like my small gift ?” now his voices sounded a little pushy to me
I told him everything, about Sean text, and how I felt after I received Sean messages. Blake just listening me, he didn’t say a word or cut me. When I’m done telling him everything, his voice sound angry
“Baby, its not your fault. I know that he likes you from the first time we got tutoring class. When he stared at you, looking at your gestures to others, I know he’s admired you. Damn Sean, do you remember when our last encounter ? at the billiard place, I know that time he will confessed his feeling to you, that’s why I sit in the middle both of you. I’m scared he will confessed to you first before me.”
I’m crying heard all of the things he said to me. I know Sean likes me, but I never thought about Blake’s feeling about me. Blake soothing me, he saying sweet things to me.
“Blake, thank you for today and the gift. You amazed me, cheering me when I’m sad, you know, I never like this before, when I’m sad, I make sure nobody knows. Everyone always think I never have problems, my family, or even my friend, they never know my feelings. You are the first one” I confessed to him
“Baby, why don’t you get sleep, we settled everything tomorrow after school. Now I don’t want you to cry or sad. Don’t ever try to think about Sean, Damn I will be hate it, good night sweet heart, dream of me will you”
After my phone calls with Blake, I feel more relaxed, I need to sleep, let everything go until tomorrow, and now I put pillow covering my eyes, trying to sleep.
I keep thinking about Sean, not because I like or missed him. I just feel guilty, especially when I know he likes me, and try to stay away from me. Our team will be separated after this, it makes me more guilty. While standing on the railing in front of my class, I make decision, I write a messages to Sean
Sean, I’m the who supposed to say sorry. Last time I’m shocked reading your messages. I’m sorry about everything. I never meant to do this to you. I wish we still be friends. I’m sorry because I don’t have feelings for you. Its not because who the first or last, maybe I do have feeling to Blake from long time, but I just don’t realized it.
I push the send button, and I feel my burden slowly disappearing, maybe it have to be like this. I know how the guys game, but still I feel guilty when it happened. Maybe when it came with other guys, I won’t have this much guilt. I sigh, take my deep breath, lucky Sean not in the same school with me. I can’t imagine how awkward it when we in the same school.
After school, I walking into my parking spot. When I reached my car, I feel someone hand covering my eyes, “baby, I missed you so much today” I hear the voice that I missed all this day. I smiling widely, “Blake, what are you doing here, wait, do you skip your school today” I pouted to him
He laughter and hug me from behind “Baby, no, how can you think so shallow about me ?” he press his chest pretending hurt.
I punch his belly, when I want to push my car alarm, he take my keys “I’m driving” he said, while opening passenger seat to me.
I smiling looking at him, and get inside the car. He took me to the Lane park. Lane park was famous park among students in my city. The park is round, in the middle, there is a small lake, and a car is parked around it. When we arrived there, I see a few student that I know from my school. I get out from the car, sitting on the edge of the car. He take his seat beside me. We spend time there, eating suburban snacks, sometimes saying hello to friend from him or me.