“To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.” - George MacDonald
My lips found his before Peter could take another breath after what he told me. I fiercely kissed his mouth that tasted of lime from mojitos and the cool fresh mint of the gum he was chewing. My tongued danced around his, countering my ever move until the bell of the elevator warned us.
Spreading ourselves apart, the doors opened and two women enter. I glanced over to see Peter’s face flushed and trying to hide the amusement between us. Suddenly I blew a big bubble from his gum and his eyes near jolted out.
Again the doors opened and Peter pulled me out as laughter exploded from us. Stumbling down the hall, Peter tried to keep kissing me as he clumsily swiped the card for the hotel door to open.
Taking shallow breaths, we walked into the room and Peter turned on the bedside light on.
We were going to do this, I thought excited and yet nervous.
Pivoting slowly back to me, Peter met my glaze making me feel very self aware of that he was looking at just me.
Peter began to say nervously, “So what were those expertise notions you indicated at the bridal shower about the bedr-”
Without paying attention to his own steps, Peter fell right in front of my feet.
Bending down to help him up, I whispered, “You seem nervous. You’re not bothered that I’m not a….” I stopped at his mocha eyes search mine.
He asked curiously, “You’re not?”
Making his way to sit on the bed his eyes brows furrowed, “Alexia, either you are or you’re not. There’s no in between.”
Sitting next to him, I asked, “Does oral count?”
Peter shook his head with a playful smile, “No, I’m pretty sure not.” His hand played with my fingers and I could sense his undying question.
“It wasn’t with Oliver.” I caught his attention quickly and I replied, “It was sophomore year in college and I was really really wasted.” Peter was soaking in the information, “But apparently I give mind blowing ones.” My cheeks burst into flames as I said feeling self-conscious.
Whore, my mind yelled.
Peter chuckled and asked further, “So that’s it?”
My body stiffened, I had to say and be truthful. Stuttering out, “I, I also, kind of did it that year.”
His eyes slightly widen a bit as I explained, “I mean we tried, but I was a virgin and it hurt a lot with his initial few attempts, but I stopped him before we could go any further.”
My eyes clouded at the dark thought of my past.
I was on such a disastrous path to throw everything away. I first drank to drown my sorrows to aggressively try to find love the hard way. I thought sex would lead to what I desired. And when that came to a dead end, I reverted back to my old ways. I shivered at the thought.
“That wasn’t my greatest year.” My eyes kept glancing back at Peter trying to grasp for just a clue as to what he was thinking with his stoic face. “Do you think of me differently?”
Instantly Peter snapped out of his thoughts and replied trying to keep the subject light, “No. I’m just surprised that’s all.” Nudging me with his arm, Peter joked with a wink, “I never peg you for a wild college type.”
Oh, so it wasn’t me. Then why was he being so nervous? I wondered. Clearing my throat I asked, “What are you so worried about then?”
Peter seemed tense as he added, “Does it bother you that I’m 25 years old and I have no experience to bring to the table?”
My green eyes soften on him. He was nervous he wouldn’t satisfy me.
“God, no.” I brushed his golden lock back in awe, “I think it’s beautiful that you want to share your first time with me.”
Peter’s muscles began to relax as I ran my hand up and down is arm gently. How was I so lucky to find such a man? Very.
He suddenly halted my motion and my mind instantly thought; he changed his mind. He didn’t want me touching him.
But instead, Peter placed my hand over the white material of his shirt and aided me in popping the top one. My mouth seemed to go dry as he guided my fingers down to the next and the next one until his chest was exposed. Like Eve taking her first bite into the forbidden innocent fruit, my hands explored his chest all the way up to his broad shoulders to remove his dress shirt completely.
Standing up, I turned around from Peter looking perplexed. A coy smile enveloped my face as I pointed to me zipper. “Can you help me?” Peter gulped with lust burning in his eyes.
Erotically, his shaky hands slowly unzipping me made my breath pant more. The purple slim fit dress dropped to the floor in a puddle, I step away kicking it awkwardly to the side.
His gentle fingers guided around the waist band of my bra and Peter turned my body quickly around, thus allowing him to drinking every inch of me.
Timidly he grasped my covered breast. So happy I wore actually nice panties and bra, I thought back in my mind.
Peter’s wanton eyes stared back at me before attacking my plump lips and fumbled with the clasp.
After a few minutes, Peter laughed against my lips. “It’s like breaking into Fort Knox.”
Reaching back, I unlocked my clasp and joked, “All you have to do is ask.” Peter’s sweet boyish smile melted my heart before his warm hand squeezed my breast, actually making my body shiver.
Pushing closer to the bed, I asked, “Are you sure?”
His lips moved to my neck and I released an arousing sigh. He hit one of my sweet spots. Peter’s face enlightened with his joyous discovery, “About what?” and continued to ravish my neck.
Feeling totally distracted, by his touches, I tried to make a coherent thought, “I, I feel like, ah, oh, I’m corrupting you. Stealing your….”
A wicked grin crossed his face as Peter massaged my breast together in his hands, “The way you’re going on about it, you make it seem like you’re torturing me. Besides, you corrupted me way before this Alexia.” He pushed me down to the bed and climbed on top of me.
With his slight stubble on his chin, Peter guided kisses down slowly on my alabaster skin. I closed my eyes over whelmed.
Never had I been touched this way. I guess this is what really love making felt like.
“I was tainted when seeing you sitting by yourself at the engagement party. I was already yours.” His nose guided lower and he nipped at my belly button. He was driving me crazy.
“Are you sure I’m you first?” I questioned as I felt a smile press into my stomach.
He whispered, “Yes.”
Peter was going now due south and I suddenly grasped his hair tightly. Shocked by my sudden motion, I begged quietly, “Don’t judge me.”
His brown eyes stared at me confused and he whispered back, “Never.”
Releasing my tight grip on his head, I tipped my head back to the ceiling. I knew what he was about to find in his glorious exploration.
A soft intake of breath occurred and I was too tempted to glance back at Peter. His pressed together lips pursed as his hands gently strokes the small old scars on the inside of my legs. I barely whispered, “Like I said I had a bad year.”
Maybe years more like it.
Peter already catching on to my thoughts asked, “When did you start?”
“When I started high school, but it wasn’t regular occurrence until college.” I responded and Peter hover his lips over my healed scars and I could feel his hot breath on my thighs.
“Why?” Peter asked as he planted kisses around my upper thigh.
“Because I couldn’t handle anything at that point.”
Throughout my life, I had been picky and it finally came to a point my later college years, I may have pushed my chances away for true love. This continued to eat me up more and more as no guy showed interest in me. And being one year out of college, many things suddenly stack up. I couldn’t find one job in my field. Student loans were soon to breath down my neck. And I had recently received the news my father had officially been married.
Feeling at my most low, Dana was going out with Jason for their one year anniversary, so I had ventured off for the first time by myself to a bar. And that’s how I met Josh, a guy I hooked up there.
I’ll admit, at the time, I thought he was a man that seemed rough around the edges with cheeky comments, but yet deep down he have a gentle side I could bring out.
And like that, he somehow charmed me by giving me his only attention, which led to him coming over to my place. Of course with retrospect, I was being a drunken idiot agreeing to have sex.
My first time.
But, as weird as it sounds, I just thought maybe if we had this romantic smoky sex, possibly we would produce a spark to a flame.
But that wasn’t so.
No chatting to each other secrets of our past. Not even a witty banter to set the mood. Even more so, he didn’t attempt to do one romantic thing. Instead, one, two, three, Josh and I had got naked and he quickly tried thrusting inside me.
I yelp in pain as I gasped out, “It’s not working. Stop.”
But Josh kept trying to force more into me as he growled, “I can do it. Just a little more.”
My vagina was burning and tears were streaming down my face as I punch his throat. Finally he back away from me and I yelled, “Get the fuck out!”
I wrapped a robe around me and grasped the first thing to collide with my hands, my trusty softball bat. And Josh, getting hit twice, crawled out of the apartment door and I tossed his clothes down the stairs. Locking the door, I slid down hearing, “Crazy bitch! Fucking slut!! I hope you go to hell.”
My hands clasped my face trying to shake off the adrenaline coursing throughout my body. My emotions finally caught up to me as to what I just attempted to do. “God I hate myself. Please make it stop . Please, please, please….”
My eyes glanced up to the kitchen counter and stared at a knife.
Peter wiped a tear away from my cheek after telling the reoccurring story and how my best friends found me ready to do something really, really bad. It was a serious situation between only us three.
Staring at each other bare chest to chest, I admitted, “I never told that to anyone before.” Gently swiping a hair from my face, Peter stated with fire in his eyes, “No one is ever going to hurt you again Alexia. I promise.” I bent up to kiss his sweet lips and almost combusted as Peter lips whispered, “I love you too much.”
Sitting up more I replied with my lips inches away from his, “I love you too Peter.”
Placing my lips on his soft ones, I kissed him slowly trying to convey everything I felt for him. He reciprocated kissing back just as passionately and let his hands roam over my body. I wanted our bodies somehow closer as I hugged him tighter.
Breaking apart, Peter asked playing with my hair. “Are you sure you want to do this now? I can wait.”
I reflected deep down inside my soul. Unlike my last time, I wasn’t feeling rushed and scared. No, I felt safe and at peace with Peter. After that incident, I never thought I would ever be ready to try this again, but I was. I just could feel it.
Gazing into his mocha eyes, I smiled happily, “I want to with you. Let’s just try to take it slow.”
Peter nodded his head in agreement and I slowly left a trail of kisses from his cheek down to neck. His firm hands grasped my butt and squeezed it as I nipped his collar bone causing a slight moan to escape his lips. Testing the waters, Peter began to grind our clothed hips together making electric friction between us.
It was only a matter of seconds before he stopped suddenly.
Was something wrong?
My green eyes glanced up concerned to find his face flush, his breath panting and his innocent eyes reflecting both embarrassment and satisfaction.
“Excuse me,” Peter jumped off the bed and headed to the bathroom quickly with his bag of stuff. My mind tried to find a reasonable explanation.
Did he have to pee? Was he sick? Or worse did he hurt himself?
Sitting up fully, I clasped my bra fully back on and knocked on the door with only my under garments on.
“Are you alright?” I asked perplex.
His voice was higher than usual and he squeaked, “Yep. I’ll be out in a second.”
“O-kay,” I answered back with a shrug. Lying back in the comfy bed, I pulled the covers over my body.
I just had a feeling fun time was over? But why? We didn’t even do anything yet.
Peter peek his head out before fully stepping into the room with his pajama pants I’ve seen him wear for bed. My head tilted curiously as I watched Peter walk over without looking at me. Sighing I asked, “Peter what’s going on? Did I do something wrong?”
His eye’s nearly popped out and he said with redden cheeks, “No. God no. I, ah, well. I just got too excited.” Peter mumbled his last sentence, “Sorry I didn’t last long enough.”
Oh. My mind finally clicked what had occurred.
“Hunny you don’t have to ever apologize for that. You didn’t mean to do it.”
I reassured Peter and he shook his head, “But you didn’t get-”
He was worried about my needs. So thoughtful, I thought as my eyes stared at him with appreciation.
“No, but I thoroughly enjoyed the ride. Besides,” I said with a giggle, “the night is still young. We can always practice more.”
Peter pulled me closer so my head lay on his soft bare chest. Stroking my hair he responded, “Practice does make perfect.” With relief, his muscles relaxed when whispering, “Thanks.”
Our breaths were becoming softer and I asked feeling sleep soon to overcome me, “I still want to know, how did you know how to foreplay like that.”
I felt his face smile against my head, “Let’s say I’ve done a lot of research on the internet.”