White, an inherently positive color, is associated with purity, virginity, innocence, light, goodness, heaven, safety, brilliance, illumination, understanding, cleanliness, faith, beginnings, sterility, spirituality, possibility, humility, sincerity, protection, softness, and perfection.
Sin, an immoral act considered to be a transgression against divine law.
A soul corrupted by Sin overtime grows weary and dark.
DISCLAIMER: only the prologue has some aspects from the youtube film ‘why does god hate me.’ I thought it was an amazing way to introduce the book, although the rest of the book has nothing to do with it. Thank you so much for choosing this book to read, by the way! I hope you enjoy!
Ever since I was a kid, things have always been strict.
Bed by nine o’clock, curfew is eight. Do not miss a Sunday sermon, read your bible every day. Parental blocks on the television. Sing your hymns loud and proud in church... but do not forget to stand up while doing so.
When I was about eight years old, my brother lived with me... Matthew Ivy. He was known at school as the ‘rebellious child’, though it didn’t bother me. He wouldn’t wear the school uniform, he’d stay out late- regardless of what our parents told us... But I admired him. I think what I admired most about him was his confidence... his confidence against the adults.
11 years ago
″Bed by eight, Luke... You have school in the morning.″ Mom said to me, gathering her items and placing them into her purse. Dad stood beside her, pulling the coat over his torso. I didn’t quite know where they were going... but I knew they were protesting against something they didn’t like.
″You have a test tomorrow, Luke. Make me proud, alright?″ My dad said to me. I felt my stomach drop at his words... I spent all of my time watching veggie tales, rather than studying. Uh oh.
Suddenly, Matthew walked in the door with a big smile on his face. He told me before he left that he was going to spend some time with Melody, his girlfriend. She’s really pretty... she has this long blonde hair down her back and her voice was very soft. Sometimes she’d even bring me cookies when she knew I wasn’t feeling the best. I watched as the smile left his lips, averting his gaze from my mother and father.
“You were supposed to be home TWO hours ago to watch your brother... Why can’t you do anything for us?″ My mom said in almost a scream. I couldn’t help but notice how he flinched at her words, a faint blush lingering on his face.
″I’m sorry, mom...Melody and I got a little busy.″ He said as he made his way over to me, flashing me a reassuring smile. He always did that when mom or dad were mean to him... he didn’t want me to worry... but I couldn’t help it.
He sat down on the couch next to me, slinging his arm across my shoulder. My dad’s face turned beet red as he looked in his direction... I couldn’t remember the last time my dad actually said something nice to him. They don’t really speak a lot to each other... besides the times my dad is constantly telling him that he shouldn’t wear the clothes he wears, or he should be going to church and reading his bible more often.
″Michael, we don’t have time for this. Let’s just go.″ My mother said to my dad in a rush, pushing him out the door without another word.
Matthew let out a deep breath. I figured he was holding it in ever since he got home- I knew it. He was always tense around our parents... but when it’s just us, he’s rather happy and calm.
He reached over, taking the remote control out of my hands. He flipped through the channels with his eyebrows furrowed, his blue eyes lingering with confusion. Every channel that worked had something to do with our lord and savior Jesus... or the jewelry channel for mom.
″I’ll never understand why they do this to the TV... what do they think we are going to watch? I’m not going to watch veggie tales all of my life, I don’t know about you Luke, but I know I can’t...″ Matthew muttered to me. Before I could tell him about my love for veggie tales, he pulled himself off of the couch without another word.
With a few seconds of messing with the wires and hitting the tv twice, an old show came up. A big smile came onto his pale face, sitting down next to me once more. The show was one of those old cowboy shooting shows that my friends talked about in school... I never really got the point of them. It was kind of terrifying...
″Hey Luke, it’s okay...″ Matthew said reassuringly, breaking my gaze off of the television. He was looking at me with a soft smile... which calmed me slightly.
″I’m right here... always. I’m not going anywhere.″
A few months later, Matthew got kicked out.
″WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO LOVE THY NEIGHBOR? LOVE THY NEIGHBOR AS THYSELF?′ WHAT ABOUT THE SCRIPTURES YOU FORCE PEOPLE’S DOWN THROATS EVERY SUNDAY? DO THEY MEAN NOTHING?″ Matthew screamed at the doorway of our room, shoving his belongings into bags. Suddenly he looked back at me, frowning at the scared and sad expression in my face.
″Luke, do you remember what I told you a few months ago?″ He asked me, his voice shaking. I nodded my head, gazing up at the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes. I didn’t know quite what was happening... Matthew had been acting different since yesterday. He can’t stop shaking, he begins to cry at random moments... he can’t look dad in the eyes. Now he got kicked out?...
“Yeah... that you’d be by my side. Always...” I replied to him. He kneeled down in front of me, bringing a shaky hand to my shoulder.
“One day we will meet again. I-I’m going to get you out of this.” He whispered to me. I didn’t know quite what he was talking about... but he was sincere about his words. He always was.
“Never listen to them, they aren’t right Luke... Dad isn’t what he says he is, Mom is just trapped. I know you don’t understand this now, but someday you will. You need to get out as soon as you can...″ Matthew sobbed, the hand on my shoulder growing tighter with every word he spoke.
″I...I will Matthew, I promise.″
I didn’t know what I was promising to... but I figured it was something I had to deal with when I was older.