Nick (Alpha) pov
Sitting here in my office waiting with my Beta Roan pissed off about yet another meeting I have to attend. I'm a 265 pound 6 foot 7 inch muscle machine of one of the largest packs around. I'm a beast, take no prisoners, and don’t give a shit about feelings. I don't care to hear excuses, just get the job done. I have built a reputation of not caring, not wanting any weaknesses.
Growing up being an only child my parents were the biggest pieces of shit there were. My dad abused me to make me "stronger" and my mom just watched not caring. Hell sometimes she would even participate. If it happens behind closed doors no one knows right, and if clothes can cover it then no one can see. My body is littered with scars, and tattoos have only been able to cover so much. The mental scars are there as well, and therapy might of been able to help, but I don’t have time for that shit. I don't want a mate because I don't want kids. I don't want to repeat the cycle, or take the chance of ending up with a shitty mate. Moon Goddess or not, It's not happening, and if I do find her there is no fucking way I will want her. Rejection can be done easily if you don’t care.
My Beta Roan has been my best friend and confidint since I was a kid. While the years went by I knew I could always talk to him to get me through my personal hell. When my 18th birthday rolled around, my father thought I should get a proper birthday celebration with a major beating in store. Little did he fucking know.... I was waiting for this day. I day I could challenge him to take his position. I waited for hours for the sun to come up and for them to make their way down towards my room. I knew my mom wouldn’t miss such a momentous occasion.
When I heard them coming to my door I waited in the middle of my room with a grin on my face. I could hear them laughing on the other side and this fueled my rage to end this insanity. I was not going to be their punching bag any more. When my door flew open I shifted running straight at my dad and caught him before he could shift. In one quick motion I grabbed him around the nape of his neck and snapped it. Dropping his lifeless body on the ground I then looked towards my mother. That Bitch had the audacity to yell at me about what a disappointment I was. How I was nothing but a drain on them financially and waisted their time. My wolf just smirked and slowly stalked towards her. When she knew what was going to happening she begged for her life. I thought to myself why now after all this time, now you care.
I grabbed her by the neck and snapped her neck also. And I don't have any regrets. What they did and put me through no kid should ever have to suffer.
Who would want me anyways... I'm broken, scarred, and can't trust anyone. Well except Roan. That fucker I trust with my life! My warriors know about the scars, but dont know my story and I plan on keeping it that way. But now I'm 23 and the council is urging me to find a mate. I don't want one but if I don't find one, they will find one for me. The pack needs a luna, you need support blah blah blah... like hell I do.
Wanna know how much I hate these council meetings? There are no words. Sitting here at my desk with my Beta at my side, I'm trying my hardest to act like I'm paying attention. But every meeting its the same topic...a MATE.
“You do know you need to find a mate, the pack needs it's Luna" Frank says.
"Yes I know, (slamming my fists down) don't think I haven't forgotten. You remind me of it at every meeting we have!"
“And yet you still have a ball every year and still haven't found anyone, you know by your 25th birthday, you.."
"Yeah I know, you will pick one for me. I know, she has to be here somewhere right?"
“Alpha we are just trying to help" Jeff adds in.
"I know, I know. The ball is tomorrow and hopefully I will find her." Rubbing my hand down my face.
The councilmembers start whispering and I excuse everyone telling them to get out. The discussion is over. At least for now I hope. I hate having this discussion every week it seems. Either on the phone or by email or sticky note. If I have to choose I would rather have what the Moon Goddess chose, but how do I know that they would be perfect for me. What if she is a complete dud, I will just reject her. That seems to be the most logical solution. When the council members walk out I look at Roan
“You know at some point you will have to make a decision right?" He says.
"I know. She's gotta be out there right." I look out my window contemplating my life. How will I even act when I find her. I know every Alpha’s goal is to get a mate and have pups. I don’t want either because all it is is a weakness. Something another pack or enemies can hold over you.
“But what if she's not? Then what? Are you really going to leave this decision up to them to choose one for you?”
"I hope to Goddess I can find her! These other unmated females are driving me insane!"
‘Did any new people say they were coming that don't usually come?"
"A few people and the council even invited outside packs, guess they are getting desperate." running my hand down my face
“Well let's hope she shows up!"
Getting ready to head to bed I look out the window at the moon and silently pray to the Moon Goddess.... "Please, please send me a decent mate. I don't care where from, what shape, anything, just send me someone! I gotta get this figured out. I don’t want the council to pick someone, because they will do it on status and not any compatibility.
I lay there tossing and turning all night that it seems to drag on forever. I finally just sit up and look out my window by the bed. I catch something out of the corner of my eye and rub my eyes making sure I am actually seeing something. It’s like a white mist of some sort, but theres a figure in it like it's floating...
"What the..." I keep rubbing my eyes making sure I'm seeing this right.
All I hear inside my head is "she's coming, you will find her just have faith!"
The moment the mist was there, it was gone just as fast.
I rubbed the back of my neck thinking about what I had just heard. I hung my head for what seemed like hours until I saw the first rays of sun coming up. I decided to go for a run, because my wolf needs to blow off some steam. Fuck this.
I went charging out the front door quickly stripped shifting mid air, and I was off. Running at full speed dodging trees and fallen branches while I run. I run until I come to my favorite spot at the edge of the pond. I laid down taking a drink of water, and just looked around. I think about what to do with the council, the pack, and the upcoming ball. Did I have enough warriors at the perimeter lines, did I get enough food.
But as I'm sitting there in my thoughts, out of the corner of my eye I see it again. There it is again that fucking mist woman shit.
In my mind I hear "she will be broken, only you can help save and heal her."
What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I stood up walking towards the mist, and it was gone again.
Stop with this cryptic shit already...
I slowly walk back to the pack house thinking of what's been said. I will find her but shes going to be broken, and only I can help her... man oh man I hope I'm going to be able to handle this. If shes broken am I just going to reject her? How would I look at her and do it so callously if I am the only one that can help her? I don't need drama with the pack. I walk towards the tree line at the edge of the pack house I quickly shift back throwing on some clothes. When I enter into the pack house everyone is running everywhere. Staff is getting our guest rooms set up, decorations are being run down the hall to the ballrom.
You can imagine with our large pack status we have an extremely large pack house. I demolished the old one with the deaths of my parents to start with a clean slate. The pack didn't undestand but the change has only benefited us.
I walk through the entry down the hallway past the stairs leading to the upper floors. At the end of the hallway it leads to a large ballroom that can easily hold a couple hundred people. Half of the room was left for dancing while the other half has round tables with white tablecloths and red floral centerpieces being assembled. A dj is getting set up over in the corner while a bar is being set up on each side of the room.
I walk through the ballroom to the adjoining kitchen and see my planner April making sure all the food is starting on time. I wasn’t thrilled about hiring her since she's human, but she's the best at what she does. I stand there watching while she keeps yelling so loud you’d think she had some Alpha blood in her. Almost makes me feel like I need to start doing something. I just smirk to myself and head back out towards my room to start getting ready because in a few short hours the guests will start arriving.
Walking up to my room it can be intimidating. It’s a grand room that is very large. I have a large custom bed with a 4 poster frame that is a deep color mahogany wood that sits in the middle of the room. Light gray walls with white trim are on the walls with a large window and window seats on one wall and my bathroom and walk in closet on the opposite side.
I walk into the bathroom quickly stripping and get into the shower. I stand under the water thinking about how the day will go and wondering what my mate will look like if I do in fact find her. Praying today will be the day so the council will get off my back. I'll have a mate, mark her and then she can take a room, and live comfortably for the rest of her life. Walking out of the shower, I grab a towel drying off and walk to my closet to get dressed. Walking by the mirror I stop and looked at myself thinking who is going to want me, she would take one look at me and run.