Heart Wants What It Wants

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Chapter 9

Liz's P.O.V.


Mornings are the worse. And especially today's morning, I've been almost awake for three whole hours but still I don't wanna get out of my bed. But considering that Mr. sun decided to show all his power today, if I didn't get out of my bed I would've surely melted.

I got out of my bed and ignoring those bright sun rays peeking through my window I went to the shower. Stripping down, turning on the shower and letting the cool water calm all my nerves, my mind wandered to all the shit that's been happening lately.

Today's Friday. Two days since Richie's been practically ignoring me, well he hasn't really been ignoring me but I know something has been wrong. He's been acting differently since the auditions on Wednesday, He answers to all my questions but he makes no effort to continue the conversations, he doesn't have lunch with me or rather any of his friends any more, he doesn't talk to anyone, comes home early and stays locked up in his room while playing his guitar and what do I do? I sit with my back leaning against the wall and listen to him playing.

You say this is pathetic? Well, you don't know me; I can be way more pathetic.

"How does it bother me?" This is what I've been questioning myself for two fucking days. And every time my mind answers "because you care about him" while my heart says "because you love him". Yeah guys, I just said the L word. But to be honest, it does not matter because my story isn't like all those cliché high school love stories. Here I am not on my way to love someone; I'm on my way to trust someone.

Trust is fragile. Easy to break, easy to lose, and hardest to get back.

At first I thought that this was a goddamn war between my heart and my brain, but lately I realized that both my brain and my heart are on the same side while I'm here struggling like a fish out of the water. It's so damn confusing when your heart and brain are officially at war, guess how it feels to be battling both of them. I really don't know how I haven't lashed out in two days cause everything has been pretty tiring, Jennifer has already got on my nerves more than five times on two days but every single time there has been Luke or Sia who have been pulling me back from disconnecting her head from her body, and no boys have been foolish enough to go around harassing anybody else so there has been no beating in these two days too and another bad news Elijah has been trying really hard to win this stupid bet. Sometimes I just sit and ask myself "are you sure this isn't high school?"

I wrap the towel around my body and get out of the washroom. I shuffled through my closet, looking for something to wear. It was extremely hot today and we had to look presentable today cause today's the day when we get our audition result. As much as I know, Mrs. Toppins has been the one directing the play every year. This is the play that's been organized every year. The fourth year students were the only people who were allowed to take part in this. Mrs. Toppins is extremely prim and proper and she will not stop herself from giving you a piece of her mind in front of everybody. Now, I agree that I'm kinda badass and shit but to be honest I respect my elders.

I wore a lose sea green top and white shorts. I wore my chain across my neck along with a few bands. I tied my hair in a messy bun, did my usual routine of mascara, eyeliner and clear lip gloss. I grabbed my side bag and got out of my room.


My eyes wander to the tattoo that I got on Tuesday. A tiger, it has a calm face and the exterior is splattered with blue, red and purple but the best thing about it is its eyes, they are blue like mine, it signifies power and strength, it tells me that no problem is a problem if it does not have a solution. I have been left alone when I was broken, I was alone, and yet I survived, I agree that everything kinda went downhill but still im here, alive. I had always had a love for tattoos but I never had the courage to get one. I was afraid of being judged. But after the person who I loved left me alone, after my parents died, after my sister died, I really have nothing left to lose.


I have two more tattoos, one is of a werewolf its on my back, half of it is covered with flowers. It shows loyalty and perseverance. But the main motto of it is to show that the world is dangerous. And I am a wolf in the flock of sheep. I am a girl, who has standards and not attitude. I am a girl who makes all the others step up their levels. I am a girl, who is not ready to listen to a liar's bullshit. I am a girl who is merciless when it comes to standing by the ones who once stood by her. And I am fearless, why? Cause I am a girl who has nothing left to lose.


The last one is also the first tattoo that I got. Its on my ankle, its of a dancer. The main reason I want to become a dancer when I grow up is my sister. My sister plays a great role in my life. She loved dancing. We were supposed to be dancing together. But life had other plans. My parents were never really with me. They were always busy. But my sister and me were like shadows, we were always together.


Tuesday was pretty boring, I admit. We fooled around the café but due to Luke's dirty puns for Sia and Sia constantly shrieking at how dirty they were. And also cause Elijah and me were almost ripping each other's face off because he thinks Harry Potter is boring, we all got kicked out cause we were making too much noise and then Elijah came back while we decided to get the tattoo we were thinking to get for a long time. I got a lion on my thigh. I'll be honest it turned out way better than what I thought it'd actually be, no one really saw it cause I wore my black ripped jeans on Wednesday while I wore a knee length denim skirt yesterday. I'm curious to know what others would say about it. This was my third tattoo so I really wasn't that tensed nor was Luke cause he has an eyebrow piercing, but to say that Sia was scared was nearly the greatest understatement of the century. I know Richie was awake that night cause when he sleep his mouth is slightly agape and he has a peaceful expression on his face and no matter what he has beside him, a person, a cat, a dog, a pillow, hell, even if there would've been a baseball bat he would have been cuddling with it. While im drifting off to my own world I cannot help but realize that I know him way too well for even less than a year.

10:40am.

Holy shit! I'm late.

I grabbed a pair of my usual morning dates. I quickly sprinted through the staircase ignoring my stomach protesting me.

I quickly sprint through the hallway and ran into my class and dropped on the nearest seat successfully fooling Mr. Wallace's gaze. I turned to face a person who was madly grinning at me like he won a great lottery.

Jacob Rodger.

Fucking awesome.

*****

"I know how to tie my shoes"

"Well, I know how to tie mine too"

"I know you like me."

"No wonder you're stupid"

"I'll take you to the ice cream shop"

"I can go there myself"

"I'll give you company"

"I'll take Sia"

"Sia can't give you what I can"

Ewww "I'm well aware of the fact that Sia doesn't have std and even if she did it wouldn't matter my health"

"But-"

"Jacob?" One hour is a long time.

"Yes!"

"Shut up"

That's what I've been for the past one hour, shutting him up. Normally, I hate rejecting people but seriously the whole college knows that I'm as single as a dollar and I would like to keep it that way. No girl needs a king to be a queen. Jacob has been behind me from second year. The first time I told him that I'm not interested was very polite, I swear. But unfortunately some people cannot take rejection in the proper way. He has been bothering me since then. The only reason that he is still not hurt in any way is cause, well, I've got no right to hit someone cause he is too desperate in taking me to a date.

"It's just one goddamn date" he continues to whine as the lecture gets over.

"Do you want to become a dad one day?"

"Yes!!!" his eyes literally start glowing.

"Then you better leave me alone"

He steps back due to the threat. Huh, boys.

As I make my way out of the room I spot Sia rushing over to me from the other side of the hall. She wore a short-short with a with a lose white crop top that says "beautiful disaster" and from here I can understand that it's her design, cheers to two years of friendship. She also has the unicorn tattoo on her arm from Tuesday on full show. Telling that it looks awesome would surely be an understatement. I swear Luke was speechless for a whole minute when he saw it. Luke got a tattoo on his back that depicted half demon and half angel.


Before she could reach me someone else does. Her eyes were stuck on my thigh a blank emotion dancing on her face. I snap my finger infront of her causing her eyes to fall on me.

"Too good for you to take in Jennifer?" I smirk

"Getting a tattoo that signifies strength does not make you strong"

"To be a smartass you're gonna have to be smart or else your just an ass"

"Who pissed on your breakfast." She said.

"Maybe if you ate some make up for your breakfast next time you could have been pretty within too" I said, cause I didn't have a breakfast but im not stupid enough to tell her that.

"Aww its so cute when you try to talk about things that you don't understand"

"Well, you've got several faces, understanding which face are you talking about?"

"I'd agree with you but then we would both be wrong"

"Well, two wrongs don't make right, take your parents for an extra example."

Her face falls. And with that I make my way past some of the people who were happily watching the drama and some girls who were recording. These people really need to get a life.

Sia was giggling like an idiot when I came towards her.

"I knew she was gonna fall on her own trap." She says

"She stayed much longer than most of the others" I shrug, cause to be honest she was pretty good but the only people who have survived against my comebacks are Sia and my sisters. "Impressing Mrs. Toppins?" I ask

"sweetie, you are the only one who tries to get on their good books cause as much as I remember Luke was the one who exchanged Mr. Wallace's black hair onto bright neon yellow, and me? Oh I am too innocent." She says adding a wink at the end. Sia is seriously anything but innocent. She may look like this innocent chick but alas! She isn't.

"When are you getting revenge from Peter? I already got him for hitting me but girl you gotta take your own revenge"

"Who told I haven't already taken it"

"Fuck! Is he alive?"

"Yeah, yeah, he is but he won't be able to make out with anyone anytime soon"

"Oh my god what have you done?"

"He is lying on the back-campus without his front tooth and which girl would make out with a guy without his front tooth"

To be honest I am speechless. Here I literally half killed that guy and somehow grabbed the attention of all the people who are in Instagram even when I didn't want to and this girl is so damn sneaky she literally broke his front fucking tooth without letting a single person know! I really don't know what to say or do and hence I simply stared at the giggling idiot in front of me that is until another brown haired idiot joins us.

"Seriously, you both gotta give that douche some rest" Luke says.

"seriously he's gotta stop being a douche" Sia and I say in unison.

"Jinx! You are paying for the next meal I get" I say to Sia.

"I swear to god you're a kid inside" Sia says and quickly adds before I can object "a cool kid with fantastic fighting skill."

"Oh I love this kid" I say.

"Anyway who wants food?" Luke says.

"Dude you are the twin that I never had" by now my stomach is howling. For me food is life and life is food.

"Wait you did not have breakfast?" both of them at me like it's the first time it's happening. Wait, now that I think of it, it probably is the first time. Realizing that these two idiots won't stop gawking at me anytime soon, I let out an irritated groan.

"Guys, can we just cut the amusement and go to eat, I don't have any lectures until the audition result at 4pm and considering that Sia missed her first lecture I guess she doesn't have anymore classes so Luke you are staying and attending your class while we have delicacies."

"Wait what? I was the one who proposed the idea after all. I don't care about lectures. The only reason why I am here is cause you folks are here" you mean, Sia is here?

"Ok so food."

"FOOD!!!" They say like idiots while we rush through the corridor.

God, I'm friends with idiots.

****

As we make our way across the campus I see Richie making his way towards the front gate. That's it, enough of ignoring me; today he is having breakfast with us. Luke and Sia did not seem to mind him the other day they looked as if they are conversing with an old friend. I leave them and make my way towards Richie. He was wearing black skinny jeans with a white t shirt, the shirts was half sleeved hence the compass tattoo that was similar to the one that his brother has was on full display. When does this guy looks bad.


He was just stepping up the stairs when I jumped up on the stair instead; I'm still not taller than him.

"Hey" I begin

"Hey" he says surely confused due to my sudden approach.

"What did you have for breakfast?"

"Umm, I made pancakes"

"You don't know how to make pancakes"

"I learned in three years"

Sure you did "Richie, we didn't have eggs"

"Umm..."

"Okay enough excuses you are coming with me" I grabbed his arm pulling him towards the parking.

"I have a class Liza." He stopped on his way causing both of us to stop.

"please?"

"No"

"Please?" I try once more.

"Nope"

"Pretty please?" I say wrapping my arms around his abdomen and connecting my blue eyes with his green ones, putting on my best puppy dog face.

He hesitated for a while but sighed at last, "this isn't fair" he whines as we make our way towards Luke and Sia

When green meets blue, several unsaid words pass through.

"I'm taking Sia in my Honda and you are taking Liz in your Harley we're going to that shop near the bridge" Luke says when we reach.

"If I die, I'll come back as a ghost and strangle you to death" Sia deadpans.

"I'd never do that" Luke says with fake hurt but none the less he means it. They make their way towards his white Honda.

"You realize that goes for you too" I tell Richie as we go towards his black Harley.

"Oh I'd love you to strangle me when I sleep" he smirks.

I feel heat rushing up my cheeks but I ignore it "to death?" I ask with a single eyebrow quirked up.

He scoffs and sits on his Harley and putting on his helmet. I hesitate. It's been two years. Two years since my last ride on his Harley.

"C'mon it won't bite you" Richie says.

I take in a deep breath putting aside all those memories, all those late night kisses that his Harley has witnessed, all those times when we used to have no worries in the world and talk about random shit. No matter how things screwed up between me and Richie. These memories are some things ill never regret.

"Friends" I remind my heart and mind as they double over in laughter.

"Hey Harley" I greet the Harley before sitting behind Richie and wearing the helmet.

"Friends" I remind myself as I scoot closer to Richie and wrap my hands around his abdomen.

All my thoughts are forgotten as the same electricity goes off throughout my stomach and my whole body broke into goosebumps just like what happens everytime we're too close.

****

"I swear to god these people make their food in heaven" Luke says munching off the last piece of our pepperoni cheese pizza.

"And I swear to god I've got no idea how you still have those abs after eating like a pig all day" Sia says

"And I swear to god I don't want to know what you were doing with a shirtless Luke." Richie says causing Sia to transform into a tomato.

"It wasn't like that!" Sia says

"How was it then?" Luke smirks and they start bickering.

"I wish they'd date already" I whisper to Richie.

"It's not that easy you know"

"It is, you just walk up to the person and confess, easy"

"Don't girls always like it to be romantic?"

"you toppled on top of me while stepping out of the washroom and then we both fell on the bed and that's when you confessed you liked me and then we kissed, how the hell is it romantic?" I laugh out at his face that was by now flushed red.

"Shut up you liked it"

"But that does not make it romantic"

"So you agree that you liked it?"

"That's not my point!"

"Next time it'll be more romantic" he puts on his lopsided smirk

"None of your moves are ever romantic"

"So you agree there will be a next time?"

"I did not say that!"

"You did not -"

Suddenly his whole demeanor turned stiff as his eyes fixed at someone behind me.

"How is loverboy doing?" he asks coldly.

"loverboy?" I turned to look at whom he was staring at. Elijah was sitting with an annoyed Jennifer on the table. God this guy is trying real hard.

"loverboy is doing his job, loving." I tell Richie and his whole demeanor turns colder.

Suddenly he stands up and says, "It's almost time we gotta get going" and with that he stepped out.

Sia, Luke and I look at eachother with the same question in all our minds.

What the heck just happened?

After a moment we all decided to get back cause we have about thirty minutes to get back. Sia and Luke head off towards his Honda while I go towards Richie's Harley and see that he was wearing his own helmet and staring into the horizon. I know something is up, I can literally feel it but I don't know what.

I go up to him and wear my helmet that was placed behind him.

"you okay?" I ask

"Yeah, I'm fine, anyway we gotta go" he replies almost too quickly.

I don't press him any further cause I don't think it's my place to do so. I get up on his Harley and let the warm feeling take over my body. Soon we reach the hall. It was almost filled and we had about three minutes left for Mrs. Toppins to come. Richie has been awfully quiet and Sia and Luke are bickering as usual. We take our seats and wait Mrs. Toppins. Exactly at four she enters the hall with her head held high. For a lady who is in her late forties I gotta say she was damn pretty with her blonde hair and perfect figure, her grey eyes have a sharp glare that shuts up anyone who dares to speak. The only reason why the hall is still noisy is due to her height. Probably nobody noticed her yet.

"Ms. Tins I hope you're aware that we're here for the result of the audition and not to see your nasty legs" Mrs. Toppins says In. The. Bloody. Microphone.

The whole hall erupted in laughter. Sure enough Amy was wearing a skirt that merely covered her butt. I knew we had to dress properly. Hah.

To be honest, I feel bad. Amy's face was dark crimson by now. I cannot even imagine the level of embarrassment she's going through.

Once the hall stopped giggling, Mrs Toppins continued,

“you all probably know the story of frozen and it's almost the same. But the only difference is that here Anna won't be able to save Elsa, but Jack will. Yes, here we will have Jack Frost. He's a trader from the north. He's courageous and he will understand Elsa and together they will be able to bring back summer. Now, I will only announce the main cast once. And if anyone utters a single word they will be out of the play as well as the closure dance ”

And we all know she means it. Even though we can miss the play, the closure dance is the last dance in our college and nobody wants to miss it.

“Elsa's mother: Jennifer Thomas
Elsa's father: Elijah Spencer
Hans: Peter Finnegan
Kristoff: Lucas Smith
Anna: Alicia Jones -”

By now I was seriously giggling like an idiot, it's just.... It's so fucking accurate. However my smile dropped when her next words tumbled out of her mouth

“-Jack: Richard Sphills
And Elsa: Elizabeth Spencer. ”

Several people gasped, some were shocked, some were sad cause they weren't in the main caste. Richie and I were Elsa and Jack this meant we have to kiss at some point. And I didn't know what I would do then.

I simply sat there frozen.

That was until a hand got interwined with mine. I looked at its owner, only to find dark green eyes staring at me intently.

“if you want, I can cancel out my name. ” he said.

I was shocked. He's willing to cancel out his name if I'm uncomfortable! I don't know if I really wanted him to be with me or I simply felt like it was wrong for him to back away just cause I'm not comfortable, but I didn't let him back out.

“what! No.. no way, why the hell would you back out? You deserved the position and you got it. I'm not some self obsessed bitch that will let you back out cause I want you to. Hell, I don't even want you to back out I'm just thanking the Lord that it's you and not someone like Jacob. And other-” I rambled like an idiot.

“Liza, do you want me to stay? ” he asked with a smile

“yes. ” I smiled back.

“Everyone please leave now, I'll just talk to the main caste for a moment. ”

After everyone left the main caste went to speak to Mrs. Toppins.

“so, I guess you all know that we have rehearsal everyday at four pm, except Saturday and Sunday. ” She began

“Now, Ms. Spencer, Ms. Jones, Mr. Sphills and Mr. Smith. I'd like to talk to you about your hair. Jacks hair will be platinum, Elsa's hair will be frozen blonde, Kristopher will be blonde and Anna's hair will be strawberry blonde, you all can either dye it or wear a wig. ”

My hair was light copper, Sia's hair was dirty blonde while both the boy's hair was brown. I guess we could dye it cause the colors aren't that bad and I hate wearing a wig. I guess we will decide it later.

“Where's Mr. Finnegan? ”

Nobody uttered a single word. Sia covered her face with the world's most innocent smile, Luke was trying not to laugh, I had a plain look, Richie was confused as hell, and the other two simply did not care.

“All right Ms. Thomas tell him whatever I've told” Mrs. Toppins sighed.

“Why should I tell him? ” Jennifer asked. To be honest Peter was nothing but a boy toy for her I've never seen Jennifer with a boyfriend.

“cause I asked you to. Monday four pm I want all of you here” and with that she went out of the hall.

Sia was animatedly telling Richie about what she did to Peter and Richie was listening wide eyed.

“when are you going to tell her” I asked Luke.

“tell her what? ”

“that you like her, duh”

“I don't know”

“you don't like her anymore? ” I asked horrified.

“I do, I do, it's just, what if she doesn't like me back? ”

“Luke, stop over thinking and tell her. ”

Suddenly I felt sharp pain at the side of my stomach.

I turned sharply, just to find Jennifer smiling slyly. What on earth is her fucking problem? She elbowed me for no particular reason.

“What the heck Jennifer? ”

“The fighter's tired? ” she mocked.

“Just come to the point, Jennifer ”

“okay, look, just because all the teachers are working hard to give you an ego boost, does not mean that you deserve it-”

I was going to tell something when she added the next line. And. I. Hated. It.

“-after all you are an orphan ”

Orphan.

I hated it. But however I couldn't deny it. My mouth turned dry and even if I tried to open it, no words would ever come out.

“and what did you tell about my parents being wrong? At least I have them, unlike you. So who's better” she snarled.

I wasn't crying. But my hands were sweating and and my heart was throbbing. And my breathing turned ragged.

“At least, she doesn't cover herself under make up, or at least she doesn't have filters, she is what she is and that's better. ” Richie said while his hand interwined with mine. Immediately my breathing evened out. And the warm feeling returned around me.

“Don't you dare try to be the greater person over here, after all it is for you that-” Jennifer couldn't complete her sentence cause a loud bang rang throughout the hall.

Sia was lying on the ground. Immediately everyone ran towards her.

“it seems she fainted ” Luke said

“fainted! How? ” I asked him

“I don't know I'll take her to the dorm. ” Luke said and with that he picked her up Richie and I followed.

Luke laid her on the couch. After spraying water on her face she woke up.

“what happened? ” I asked.

“I don't know. I guess I just need rest. ” she said. She got up from the couch and went to her room.

“Liz, tomorrow Stella and Simon have a party in Simon's house and we are going ” Sia said from her room.

Simon, Stella and Derek were my friends in my first year but after Richie and I split up, I distanced myself from them.

“Sia, you know I don't like parties ”

“come on, it's our last year, let's have some fun. ”

I sighed cause I know she won't let me stay.

“alright ”

“thanks” she said from her room.

But if everything was going to be alright, then why do I have this feeling that everything is gonna mess up tomorrow.

****
Hey guys!

I know this is a late chapter. But I guess you understand why. This is till now my longest chapter.
So what do you think will happen at the party?
Because this is my longest chapter, please

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