mo luran - my pretty boy
peata - Pet
To be completely honest, I didn't have much faith Lewis, my boyfriend, and I would make it through all that happened. Especially with Dr.West and Lewis being missing, mostly with the mutation that was forced upon him and Seán. I wanted him to be alive and well, pain-free, and in one piece.
Unfortunately, I didn't believe that would be the case. Not at first, not when he went missing. Because I know my Lewis, he doesn't take anything from anyone and will not back down. I knew he'd open his mouth or throw a punch, multiple even, and he'd fight with his life if he absolutely had to. Seán makes him worse, they're connected, and when Lewis is in rage mode, it's a good bet that Seán is too.
Lewis would pick fights and get himself in trouble with whoever had them, that's what got me so depressed when he first went missing. Knowing that he'd most likely be the first to die put me in a horrible headspace, I kept reimagining the last moment I had with him and picturing the moment I found out he was dead. It was the worse time in my life.
The time I spent with Zyon, Axel, and Robert after I realized Lewis was missing, was a blur. I was emotionally dead and mentally wasn't healthy, Axel tried his best to give me what I needed and I honestly appreciated that but it wasn't enough. Lewis was gone and it felt like my whole purpose was uprooted and thrown away, I give the man total control over me and my life. He's what keeps me together and functional.
When Lewis was taken, it damaged me. My schedule was out of tune, I didn't know what to do, and I had to make decisions when normally Lewis would decide and guide me. I couldn't wear my collar either, having it on felt wrong when Lewis wasn't there. Axel wasn't capable of making every decision for me, or tell me to get dressed, brush my hair or teeth. He had Zyon to worry about, and himself also. Robert is another submissive, and as much as he knew, he couldn't help me in the way I needed.
Kneeling helped for a while. Being the position Lewis and I agreed on, remembering all the good time's Lewis had used or toyed with me in the position. Reminding myself that he was proud of me and he loved me, I was his good boy and he'd try his hardest to get back to me. It kept me sane, whenever I felt alone or too overwhelmed I kneeled down into my position- knees spread, hands palm down on my thighs, and my chin to my chest.
Keeping my mind focused on Lewis and past conversations, actions, or touches, seemed to help. It's the only reason I masturbated a few times, I didn't feel any pleasure from it and I felt ashamed I did afterward because one of my rules is to never touch myself. That's Lewis's job and he loves knowing he pleases me, that he's the only one who, 'gets the honor of pleasing you.'
I couldn't control it though. Thinking back to touches and kisses led to reimagining sex and sexual rewards he gave me, when I got hard I didn't know to do. As I finished, it wasn't a pleasant experience. I was overcome with grief and ashamed I broke a rule, I didn't even clean myself up as I cried myself to sleep.
I've been told, mostly by family, that my connection to Lewis isn't healthy. I depend too much on him, I let him control me too much, or I'm in an unhealthy relationship. I'm not and he never takes advantage of me, he respects my limits and stops when I safe word. He performs aftercare and makes me his first priority in everything.
I just can't function without him, or someone I trust, to make decisions for me and to make sure I'm doing what I'm supposed too. He makes sure I'm healthy, that I'm eating or have good hygiene, that I'm on time for work or appointments. Lewis is the one that keeps me from spiraling into a mess like I was before.
Yes, I understand it may be uncommon or others have opinions, I respect that. But I can't control my needs, this type of extreme power dynamic is what I need and want. I shouldn't be allowed to have control over my decisions or life, I attempted that and it didn't work out. My life before I met Lewis was such a mess, I'm honestly glad I'll never have to go back to that.
Point is, I was back in that mess when Lewis disappeared. My hygiene was awful even though Axel made sure I cleaned, I never put any effort into showering because what was the point? Lewis was gone, I had no one to praise me for being clean and smelling like Lewis's body wash.
I didn't go to work, in fact, they fired me. Eating was a hassle, Lewis hadn't decided what I would have, and everything I choose to make turned out horrible. My clothes were dirty and I wear mismatched outfits, I kept forgetting how to use the washing machine and pressed the wrong buttons. My sleeping schedule was off, staying up all night and sleeping most of the day. Everything about it was horrible, I was miserable.
It got better once I saw he was alive, bruised, and battered but alive. That's all that mattered to me, I didn't care if he had bruises or cuts. What mattered was that he was breathing, he had a pulse and he was speaking to me. Telling me what I needed to hear, gave me reassurance.
Then came the breakdown, when I saw him in so much anguish he couldn't move. That was when I lost any and all faith I had gathered, he couldn't sit up or speak to me and it hurt. Lewis is a strong man with a tough background behind him, he doesn't mind going through pain and often he comes home with new cuts or scratches. The man welcomes pain, says it's part of life.
But seeing him go through the suffering that shouldn't be apart of life, watching him shake and tremble and fight to keep cries in, it wasn't something I could handle. I couldn't believe that was my Lewis, it couldn't be because my Lewis would laugh at pain and assure me he was alright. It was my Lewis through, I could see he wanted to reassure me and lie to me that he was okay.
After that, I don't know what happened. I know I wasn't myself, the person pulling out my hair or crying all day and yelling, passing out kneeling down, it wasn't me. I'm embarrassed Axel, Zyon, and Robert saw me that way. Yet, I'm also glad. Because they stuck around, they helped me and reassured me as good friends do. They didn't abandon me.
When we were taken, I was frightened and angry. I'm usually not an angry person, more so I'm shy and sometimes clumsy, I keep my mouth shut around people I don't know. In that case, I was still stuck in my grief and anger that Lewis was going through that. So, I yelled and threatened and glared that anyone.
It was only the moment I saw Lewis chained up like an animal that I calmed down and I was able to come back to myself, he was alive, and wasn't in pain anymore. It wasn't the reunion any of us wanted or expected.
Watching Lewis and Seán shift into some sort of creature and rip West's bodyguard slash another creature, was disgusting and distributing. Yet when my partner stood in front of me, huge with tan-colored fur, deep black mane, ears, and a tail. I saw Lewis in the creature, his eyes told me he was scared of me leaving him.
I never cared for appearances, it's what draws me in at first but I mostly stay for personality. I know Lewis would never dream of harming me, he would rather die than to seriously hurt me. Knowing this, I had easily accepted the new changes to his body.
Getting out of the caves and off the island was amazingly easy, especially with West dead. I almost didn't believe we were out until Lewis fucked me in the shower in Axel's apartment, he was careful and it was a slow pace, neither of us knew if he'd change into the Lion creature or not.
It was a challenge for him and Seán to overcome, the transformations, but in the end, they figured it out. They have control over it now, convincing their bodies there is or isn't a threat of me or Seáns boyfriends, Axel and Zyon. They mainly only shift now when they leave to patrol the land around our houses or when animal predators enter the property.
We moved when we got back, Lewis and Seán didn't trust themselves to be in the city. We picked out a beautiful house ten minutes away from were Seán, Axel and Zyon moved to. It gives us access to each other yet also allows us to have privacy, with the sex drive Lewis has, that is necessary.
The house itself is similar to our friend's home, excluding the pool and balcony on the second floor. Our home is a modern farmhouse with a few acres of land that we don't necessarily use, it's relatively big for the price budget we had. It's a pretty dark gray color with black trimming, the porch is large and goes around the front to the side and back. There's a sliding door to the back of the living room, and windows on both floors are big and allow natural light to come in.
The kitchen isn't as massive as Axels, enough for the bulk Lewis has and I and that's all I care about. In our old apartment, the kitchen was too small and Lewis would continuously be forced to be glued to me as we both didn't fit, the traffic through it was horrible. The counters are gray-black marble, the cabinets matching the color scheme of the outside.
The bathroom on the first floor doesn't have a shower, only a toilet, and sink, and is annoyingly small but we rarely use it. The one on the second floor is what we prefer, it's a bigger space with a glass corner shower that is able to fit us both. Lewis enjoys surprising me in the mornings with shower sex, sometimes he doesn't even wake me up to tell me to shower. He just picks me up and places me in the water- he got punched for that, to which he laughed.
Our bedroom is next to a spare room that Lewis turned into a painting slash library room, he built three wall-sized bookshelves, two only half, then painted that side a pretty white. On the other side is a desk that holds art supplies, he built me a custom one that when I left the middle of the desk, I have a stand to paint extra details or draw. I got to paint that side anything I wanted, and I always wanted a room with paint splatters. We had fun doing that, getting dirty with a different color of paint and making handprints or lip prints on the wall.
I love that room, it's one of my favorites in the whole house. Lewis doesn't mind if I spend all day in there, he'll just come up and keep me company. Letting me paint him or draw him, he loves when I read to him through.
Lewis has the basement, his workout room, Seán sometimes comes over with Axel and Zyon to workout with him. He goes down in the mornings and stays for an hour or two, he doesn't normally spend more than three hours because he doesn't enjoy it as much, and honestly, he doesn't actually need to anymore. He works with horses, does heavy lifting, and builds stuff with Seán most days.
Our bedroom is his most favorite place, the bed he picked out is soft and huge and the room itself is large. It has two big windows on one side of it and one above the bed, he doesn't feel trapped or is reminded of the caves he was in.
I'm truly happy here, the happiest I have ever been. This is the dream I never thought I'd achieve, and I'm so proud of Lewis for fighting through everything to be here with me. He's the most important person in my life, I wouldn't be me without him. Waking up every day with him is my heaven.
The sun is setting, casting beautiful shades of pinks and oranges into the living room. The tv is on mute for commercials and the only sound is Lewis walking down the stairs, I'm on the couch as he does, covered in a thick blanket as it's getting cooler at night.
He's going out for his nightly patrol, only in his worn-out boxers because he doesn't want to rip any more clothes. I know his body temperature runs warmer now after the mutation he was forced into, I'm not as much worried about it being too cold for him anymore.
Lewis is still in great shape as when I first saw him, his muscles are a bit bigger from all the works he's been doing and his beard is longer, but still reminds of the first time I ever met him. It didn't start as a great day, yet when I saw him it flipped and I felt an instant crush come alive.
"Awe, is mo luran cold?" His voice is deep as he leans over the back of the couch to wrap his arms around my chest.
I merely nod, we had kept the sliding door open halfway to let in the light breeze and now I'm regretting it because it's colder than normal in the house. Lewis chuckles as I nuzzle closer to him to get his warmth, "When I get back, I'll take ya upstairs and cuddle the hell out of ya. How bout that?"
"Yes, Master, please, it's actually pretty cold tonight." I pout up at him, wishing he could stay in tonight.
I know his Lion urges won't allow him to, he needs to go out and roam to scare away other predators that may choose to attack me. His need to protect is constantly on high, worse than when he was fully human. His urges won't allow certain things and he's been doing well in controlling them.
Lewis just smirks at me, giving me a prickly beard kiss my temple. "Ah, it's only October. Wait till it snows to start complainin"
Playfully, I whine which earns a rumbling laugh from his chest. "Ya wait here, I promise I'll be quick. Love ya, peata"
"Love you too, Master. Be safe." He gives me a kiss on the lips and another on my hair before he pulls away and goes to the sliding door.
I watch as he steps out, making sure the door is locked before closing it and wave to him when he waves in to me. I slump back on the couch when he's gone, sighing as I watch the tv blankly. I'm not actually paying attention to it, my mind is somewhere else.
Waiting for him always is the worse, I know he'll come back and I'm not worried about him being severely injured, but I worry about people finding him and trying to capture him. Like the government, that could end badly. No, I just dislike being alone, and my mind wanders a bit too far sometimes.
Although, it is nice at times. Peaceful and quiet, I can sit back and reminisce on my life and things I could've done better or what could have been my life, instead of this amazing one I have. I think mostly on how we, Lewis and I, were before he was taken. We weren't much different than now, although I find it interesting how we become what we are as a couple.
It feels so long ago, I feel as if I've known Lewis all my life as a childhood friend when in reality, it was only six years ago. Our four year anniversary happened while he was taken, I never mentioned it because it was painful but we made up for it, and now, two years later, we're still doing a double date to make up for it. Lewis felt bad we missed it, saying I deserved two dates in one anyway.
Six years, I never figured we'd make it this far. All those years ago..