Bonnie - Pretty
màthair - mother
mo luran - my pretty boy
bòidheach - beautiful
There's shouting when I wake up. That alone isn't particularly alarming, I've grown used to that throughout my life. It's the fact that it is happening in the apartment I live in alone and that the people who do the shouting, are both gone. I'm more concerned about the fact that there are people or just a crazy person, in my home shouting. This means, unfortunately, that I have to get up out of bed and investigate.
After the day I had, earlier or yesterday I can't tell since it's still relatively bright outside the window. I don't want to get up and deal with everything, especially not a crazy person that broke into my home. Getting up means I have to face the fact that Miss Parry is very passionate about her illogical beliefs, enough to put her hands on me and attempt to force me away from Lewis. Usually, she wouldn't do that. I suspect she may regret that part of the whole scene.
I don't understand how she could let her own beliefs get in the way of her wanting me to be happy, as she always said she did. She supported me in everything; when I came out as gay, dating Ryan, that thing with William. Even finding out I was into BDSM and am a Submissive, she did her own research about what it was and helped me expand my knowledge.
What is so different about being with Lewis? One would understand if it was because he is older, although twenty-one isn't a big stretch from eighteen. Perhaps if he was shown to be dangerous or had that reputation, he doesn't though. Sure he threw a man from the shop, but he was helping me in that situation. He also warned me about his issue with possessiveness, said he was trying to fix that particular problem- even if I happen to like it. All that one could understand, she's concerned for my safety.
Disliking him and trying to force me to stop seeing him because he said his birth parents, that he has a bad relationship with, don't matter to the conversation we were having? No, I do not understand and don't think I ever will. Hating one's parents isn't the end of the world, it will happen and especially if said person has a reason. Lewis has a reason and he doesn't like to share that, I get that and I don't like to share my reason much either.
Using that against Lewis isn't okay, she shouldn't do that. He can not control how he feels about his birth parents if the way he was raised wasn't as happy as some people have, his parents could have been horrible people or he was left alone to fend for himself. His reason is his, he has a right to feel that way. Just because she thinks it's impossible for a child to hate their parents doesn't mean it isn't, she'll have to realize that if she wants to raise a baby. Hopefully, she'll do it right and her baby won't end up like me and Lewis; disliking their parents.
I still find it unbelievable she reacted that way. I wasn't expecting that, the aversion of Lewis maybe, but everything else? It hit me out of left field. I had somewhat thought, convinced myself, that she would be able to look over Lewis's opinion of his birth parents. I figured his personality and his actions the other day with that man would be enough to get approval, and definitely, if Oliver had met him, but apparently, it wasn't enough.
If Oliver was the one that met Lewis and not Miss Parry, we wouldn't have had been in that situation. He wouldn't have interviewed Lewis as she did, he would have talked to us and asked how we're doing on dating. If mentioned, he wouldn't have told Miss Parry of Lewis's opinion of his parents. He'd tell her that Lewis is a nice guy and that he made me happy because Oliver can read me like that and comprehend when I'm comfortable with someone.
It would've been much less stressful if Oliver met him first, I wish I had a time machine to go back in time to switch them out. Sadly, it is not yet possible and I have to wait for Miss Parry to apologize to both me and Lewis. Me, because she put her hands on me and tried to force me to do something I didn't want. Lewis, because she shouldn't have judged him based on his resentment for his parents.
I have a feeling it'll take a while for her to understand where she went wrong, until then, I have Lewis to keep me company. CeCe if she stops by and while at work.
Now I focus more, I realize that the shouting person sounds a lot like CeCe and that Lewis isn't in bed with me as he was when I dozed off. Sighing, then yawning, I raise off the pillow and look around, as if Lewis, a giant man, could be hiding in my room somewhere. He's not, but the is a pair of comfortable sweatpants and a big hoodie on the end of the bed.
I'm awake enough to figure out that I'm supposed to wear that, and suddenly an overwhelming amount of pure joy fills me. Lewis had set an outfit out for me to wear, he tells me what to wear every day now but that's over the phone, he's never been here or able to go through my closet before. Now, he's able to and he knows I prefer to have him pick my clothes. He actually did it. I didn't quite believe he'd do it if he was ever here, that maybe he just did it for my sake over the phone.
I'm up before I can progress it, grabbing the sweatpants and moving to put them on- only realize I need to take off my jeans and shirt. It's a quick process and, with the continuous yelling in the background, I'm pulling on the sweatpants and the large hoodie I recognize as the one Lewis wore to the shop to meet Miss Parry. The sweatpants are mine, my most comfortable pair that has paint splatters on it, but the hoodie is pure heaven. Soft and warm, so huge on me it's essentially a robe that gives me sleeve paws. I love it.
I take a second to just hug myself because I need a hug and Lewis isn't here and his hoodie is too comfortable. Then I make my way out of the room, sluggishly because I'm still tired no matter how excited I was about simple clothes. As soon as I turn into the hallway that leads to the kitchen and living room, I see something I don't expect to see.
CeCe is shouting insults and threats to a calm Lewis, the man is standing in the middle of the entrance to the hallway, blocking CeCe from stomping down it. My friend is angry, why I have no idea but this is the worse I've seen her temper. Lewis is handling her well enough, letting her go at him and taking the insults or threats, not moving to say anything until she eventually tires herself out and takes a deep breath.
Voice calm and controlled, he states simply, "He's asleep. Ya can talk to him when he's up."
I smile, pleased he's trying to allow me as much sleep as possible and excited that he didn't leave. He's also dealing with CeCe when he didn't have to, I know sometimes she can be a handful and even I don't want to deal with her, but she's my friend. I want them to get along, even if Lewis has to meet her like this.
I walk quietly behind Lewis, being able to peek in front of him to see CeCe roll her eyes and get ready to start yelling some more. My arms hugging Lewis's waist interrupts her and I hear my friend take a breath again in an attempt to calm down. She knows I don't necessarily enjoy yelling, it's not a trigger anymore- at least not as much as it used to be, and definitely not shouting as she was doing.
Lewis grunts as he grips my wrist and gently pulls me in front of him, smiling down at me. "You're supposed ta be asleep, Bonnie."
Shrugging, I ignore the urge to tell him CeCe woke me up when he was specifically trying to avoid that. Instead, I focus on what he called me, because I'm not named 'bonnie'. "Is that a word for something, or did you forget my name?"
He laughs, "It's for pretty."
My skin flushes a light pink, I should get used to compliments when I'm around him. I just always forget he finds me attractive and I don't necessarily expect a compliment. Thankfully, CeCe saves me from having to wait for my sudden embarrassment to pass.
"Tomboy, you need to tell guard dog here to back off when I want to talk to you. He wouldn't let me through, god damnit." She demands, crossing her arms and glaring at Lewis.
The Scotsman smirks at her and leans his shoulder on the wall, arms around my waist. "Told ya, he had a rough day. He needed sleep."
CeCe looks about ready to go on shouting again at that, so I quickly step in. "It's alright, CeCe. He's right, I did need sleep and I don't think waking up to you shaking me and slapping me with a pillow would've been nice."
She gasps, "What? I don't hit you!"
"With my pillow, yeah you do."
She rubs her temple and sighs as if dealing with me is hard. "I'm here for a reason. What-"
In an attempt to avoid the impending conversation, I tilt my head back on Lewis's chest and say, "I'm hungry."
I don't know what to expect, a shrug and push to get myself something to eat, or an 'okay'. But Lewis smiling and picking me up, isn't it. He carries me past a stunned CeCe and to the kitchen, where I see a pot on the stove set to low and an empty bowl on the counter. I'm set down in a chair at the bar counter that separates the living room and kitchen, and given a scratchy beard kiss on the forehead before Lewis is stepping away to the stove.
"Made some vegetable soup màthair taught us, said we'd need it." I watch as he serves me the bowl with a good amount of soup in it, I can spot chunks of potatoes, and carrots but that's all I recognize as I've never eaten or paid attention to vegetables.
It looks delicious though and I'm hungry, besides it pays to try new things. I take a bite while Lewis leans on the counter and CeCe sits next to me, my friend grumbling about being ignored. A noise of surprise from me has Lewis seeming vaguely offended, playfully. I like it, it's good and creamy with a rich taste and it warms me up. The vegetables aren't mushy, having enough snap to satisfy me.
"I like it, thank you." Lewis smiles at me, giving me a slight nod, and gestures for me to continue. Which I happily do.
CeCe is impatient, tapping her long black nail on the counter as she glares at the side of my head. I'm halfway through my bowl when she snaps, "What the hell happened at the shop? Oliver wouldn't say, only to check on you when I had time after dealing with vet shit."
I attempt to ignore her again, not wanting to explain what happened and why I'm angry and disappointed and sad. I take more bites of my soup, CeCe tapping again and Lewis observing the situation. It's another few minutes until Lewis moves closer to me, pressing against my side and wrapping his arm around me. It feels like a big shield from CeCe and I relax some, allowing his touch to clear my head a bit.
Lewis's beard grazes my ear as he whispers, "Want me ta explain some of what happened? You'll have ta tell her what went on in that room. She won't leave till she knows."
CeCe bangs on the counter, "Just tell me! Stop keeping secrets with a dude you just met!"
I quickly nod at what Lewis suggested, him talking to her gives me time to figure out what to say. He seems immune to her annoyance and anger, I'm not. I get fidgety and anxious when she gets like this, I know she tries to control herself but when she's stressed and tired, she can't always get a grip.
Lewis presses another kiss to my temple then straightens up, "I met your boss yesterday. She talked ta me, then decided she doesn't like me. Don't much care bout that. I care that I was called for by Tommy Boy here when she grabbed him and wouldn't let him go."
Leave it to Lewis to be blunt and not beat around the bush, couldn't he phrase that in a better manner? He makes it sound like I was abused, I wasn't. Miss Parry only grabbed me and held me to her, I wasn't hit or harmed. Shocked and, I hate to admit it, scared, yes. I didn't expect to be snatched in such a way and I was scared at first. After I realized she wouldn't physically harm me, it went away. Didn't mean I felt safe, though.
CeCe looks between us, considering before asking me directly, "That really happen, Thomas?"
She's serious when she uses my real name, no playing, or annoyance insight. Genuine concern is there. I nod and my body leans toward Lewis's chest in search of comfort, I receive it immediately by being hugged to him. I take a short, deep breath and began explaining what had happened. Starting with the man and how Lewis threw him out, how Miss Parry demanded to meet him, and how she interviewed him.
"She kept asking stupid, invading questions about his parents or past. I wanted it to stop but I knew she wouldn't. When Lewis told her to stop asking about his birth parents, she got upset and separated us." CeCe listens closely and Lewis runs his thumb over the vein on my wrist.
"Oliver was in the staff room and tried to help when she started arguing with me. She wants me to stop seeing Lewis for a fucked up reason and wouldn't listen to anything I said. She was a different person from who I know, it was weird. I tried to leave, let Oliver handle her and I wanted to calm down. But she grabbed me and held me to her, she wouldn't let me go no matter what Oliver or I did. I had to call Lewis to help and get me out."
When I'm finished, Lewis leans down again, whispering a soft, "good boy, mo luran."
The praise perks me up, I know he said it because he knew I didn't want to talk about this. Praising me for something I didn't want to do but needed to do, encourages me to do it more often. It's one of the things I love about being a submissive, no matter what I'm either praised and encouraged, or I'm corrected in my behavior and shown someone cares to direct me to be better, to be the best me as possible.
Lewis praising me for this, for talking about something that had made me upset and sad, is what I needed. I usually don't speak to others about my feelings on certain things or situations, especially if said situation is similar to what had happened with Miss Parry. I'm uncomfortable in being that open with someone, even if I know and trust that person. It makes me vulnerable.
I need to learn it's okay to discuss what makes me anxious, that it is healthy to let it out and take comfort in the one I trust. I know I need that, and I've tried to convince myself to just blurt out what's on my mind. But, it ends with me saying something ridiculous and embarrassing myself.
With Lewis here, he feels like my shield. Blocking whatever bad could come from the conversation, giving me comfort to speak and encouraging me. It shows me he has an idea as to what I need, at least a vague understanding from what he's observed of me. The longer we're together, I know he'll get me more and finds things I need, or things even I didn't know I needed. He's observant, others wouldn't think so with how he acts- like an overgrown child, primarily around Seán- but he is. He pays attention to the people he cares about and he has shown on multiple occasions that I'm now one of those people.
I got lucky when he came into the shop, him finding me was the best thing that could've happened to me. Otherwise, I would still be miserable.
CeCe sighing gains my attention from the praise, turning to her. She's rubbing her temples with her eyes closed, mumbling, "I hate having to fix shit."
Then she looks back to me, glancing up at Lewis for half a second. "What does she...hate is strong, but apparently she likes that. So, what does she hate about him? Does he even know? Do you?"
Her eyes go to Lewis at the final question and I feel his upper arms shift as he shrugs, "Don't care for her reason."
"Fair." She agrees, tilting her head slightly.
I don't want to announce that Miss Parry, a person I spoke highly about to Lewis, dislikes him because he hates his birth parents. That doesn't feel right, but I know I should be honest and tell them the truth. CeCe wants to help, as she would have left if she didn't care and she wouldn't be asking.
Fidgeting with my fingers and avoiding both pairs of eyes, I answer. "Because he doesn't like his parents."
CeCe's eyebrow raise and she look up at Lewis for his reaction, I do the same but I can't meet his eyes and instead blurt out, "It's so unfair for her to think that but she does and she won't listen to me when I try to explain why it's totally okay to not like them! It's not your fault and you have a reason! She shouldn't hold it again-"
I'm stopped mid-sentence when a big hand goes through my hair and softly tilts my head back by a handful of hair on my neck. Forcing me to look at Lewis, to see his soft eyes and a small smile, his eyebrows raised. "Bòidheach, it's okay. I don't care what she thinks. You just said, I got my reasons and don't need to change them to fit what she wants. I'm here for you, not that bitch."
My nose wrinkles at the term used for Miss Parry, unused to her being called that, and Lewis chuckles. "Apologise, not used to filtering myself."
CeCe laughs at that, "Same here. I agree though, she is being a bitch about this. That's not a good enough reason to hate somebody. He hates his parents, boohoo for her."
I giggle at the thick mockery in her voice, secretly agreeing. "Will you talk to her? Maybe she'll listen to you. You're scary."
My friend buffs but smirks, showing off the vampire fangs she puts on every year closer to Halloween. "Tomboy, if I could scare that woman, I'd be paid more. But, I'll talk to her for you before work."
My mouth is open to thank her, tell her I appreciate her doing this for me, but she continues. Her smirk turning evil and her red eyes stare up at Lewis, "Besides, Sexy Beefcake Daddy isn't so awful. I might start to get along with him."
Lewis laughs, deep and rumbling from his stomach, his body vibrating with it. All the while, I'm horrified that I allowed CeCe the opportunity to say such a thing. I know to keep my guard up around her, but I thought she'd give me this one moment of embarrassment free time. As always, I was wrong.
"CeCe!!" My face is red, the flush racing down my throat and up to my ears, eyes wide and glaring at her.
"What? I think he deserves to know what we say about him." She, oh so, innocently states.
Lewis finally calms down to speak, "Change Daddy to Master and it's great. Whose idea was that?"
"Her! It's always her!"
Lewis laughs again, more when I groan and hide against his chest. "Ah, it's fine, boy. Don't mind, like it even."
After I calm down, we all have a conversation about things unrelated to what happened yesterday. CeCe gave me an update on her Husky, Sally. She had to have emergency surgery for an issue with her uterus, it was infected and bleeding constantly. CeCe had tried to see if it passed, if Sally was just having a long period, heat. But at work, the call she got was to tell her that the bleeding got worse.
Sally is okay now, at home and resting in CeCe's room with another friend and without Jack to bother her.
We talk about Lewis, CeCe asking reasonable questions like when he moved here and if he likes it. What he does for work, who his friend was at the shop. She appears to like him, more so when he gives her some soup.
It's nice and relaxing, I forget about what Miss Parry said and did, everything that happened. It's genuinely a happy few hours.
When CeCe announces she needs to leave and check on Sally, I walk her to the door- she pulls me by my wrist while shouting her goodbye, 'See Ya, Sexy Beefcake Master!'. It earns another laugh from Lewis while he rinsed the bowls we used.
She whispers to me at the door, with a rare soft smile and a relatively gentle punch on my arm. 'I like him. He makes you happy, as long as he does that, I'm on his side.'
I felt relief at that, finally, something was going the way I wanted it. She likes Lewis and Lewis likes her, I couldn't ask for more from them.
Lewis was sitting in the seat I had when I returned, facing the doorway to the hallway and the front door. He couldn't see us because of the separating wall, but he could probably hear if he tried hard enough. He doesn't ask about what CeCe told me, or if she said anything at all, he just simply asks, "What ya want ta do?"
For once, painting doesn't appear in my mind. Lewis is here, he's willing to stay if I want him to. My painting would take up time I want to be filled with him, even if I know he wouldn't mind watching me paint. Instead, I suggest, "Movie?"
He shrugs and nods, "Sure thing. Want to choose?"
Quickly, I shake my head, and he smiles while he stands up, his arm going over my shoulder. "Arite, I'll choose. Go get comfortable, where ya movies at?"