Scottish Translation -
Bonnie - Beautiful/ Pretty
M’eudail - My Dear/My Darling
Glaikit – stupid
Bairn - Baby
Ghràdh - Love
The next day at work is odd. Lewis couldn’t join me today, his boss had called him back in to finish the roofs of some houses with a group of other workers. He promised he’d be off to pick me up in time and I believed him, he kept his word to me whenever he gave it to me. CeCe teases me and flirts with another cute girl, this one has pink hair and tattoos on her right arm of different video game characters. Customers are plenty and keep us busy, CeCe flirting between them with a suggestive smirk and teasing light touches on the woman’s hand. Miss Parry is the only odd thing, out of character.
While she watches us, me, normally and recently to make sure we work or in case we need assistance. She never bites at her lip or fidgets with her hands and fingers, she is a confident woman and faces things head on- one thing she and Lewis have in common besides the dislike for each other. I’ve never seen her shift uncomfortably, ring her fingers, or mess with her hair when nervous. This is why it’s so odd and out of her character to be leaning against the wall near the kitchen door, eyes on me as she chews on her bottom lip and fidgets with her wedding ring; twist forward, twist backward, repeat.
She has been sending me looks when she thinks I don’t notice, I can’t figure out if they’re pity expressions, something to do with Lewis, or guilty ones. It’s concerning and distracting and I plan on mentioning it once my shift ends while I wait on Lewis. It’s been strained between us but since yesterdays’ shopping trip, I feel as if it’s calmed down and that it’s only a matter of time before she realizes just how sweet and good Lewis is, that we’ll be back to where we were before they met.
Miss Parry didn’t have much conversation with Lewis once we left the store to drop her off back at the cafe, not that he minded. He mainly just held my hand again and ignored our light talk unless he was spoken to. She had spoken of how she and Oliver were, saying she spoke to Sarah- that scared me because she may have spoken badly about Lewis. I told her how my paintings were going and that I felt better since I’m getting sleep and eating more than a few snacks throughout the day. I realized now that Lewis is in my life, most of the things I spoke of was to do with him and that I didn’t have much to talk about because I don’t have a life outside of the Cafe, painting, and Lewis.
I don’t go out with CeCe to hang out or go to bars, I stay inside the safety of my apartment, painting things that no one but me will see, excluding my friend and Lewis. Sometimes I wish I did things out of character for myself, get past my nerves and anxiety, go exploring abandoned places, and drink with my friend, have fun out on the town. That isn’t me though, sadly. I have been curious about BDSM clubs since I discovered my preference for being a Submissive and the Master/Slave branch of BDSM. I’ve never been to one though, to the disappointment of CeCe, she had been trying to convince me to go to one with her as a wingman - like I’d be any help for her to get laid.
If I asked Lewis to take me he most likely would, he has rarely refused me something reasonable, I don’t know if he ever went to a club targeted to the BDSM community but he seems like the type of guy to try new experiences, I’m going to assume he has. I feel it may be too soon into dating to ask to go to a club with him, I don’t know if there are certain requirements for the clubs and if he has to be my official Master or not, or anything else. It might be a safer choice to wait, to avoid anything embarrassing or unpleasant.
It was a sad realization that I don’t have much going for me in life, in the ‘live life to the fullest’ department. I’m sure I seemed depressed in the truck because Lewis squeezed my hand and kissed my temple at a red light and I allowed myself to believe that maybe, just maybe, Lewis will help me discover more of myself. This is something different and it has been fun, my life has been much more lively with my new dating status. If I’m lucky Lewis will be the exciting and outgoing motivation I need to break the dull cycle that has been happening for me.
Hopefully, Miss Parry had a similar realization. She had watched Lewis in a new light yesterday on the way home and didn’t have the glare and distaste previously shown for him. I had taken that as a good sign. She had finally seen him for what he is, saw I’m much happier with him and that he is a good influence in my life. She may have her opinions on what he does with me, how he leads me around, and habits he has, but she has to have noticed that he has my best interest at heart. I even bragged about him, I hadn’t done that since I was with Ryan and the number of things to brag about is vast between them. Ryan, as much as I love my friend and care for him, never came close to Lewis as a Dominant. He has learned much and while I believe he knows better than when we were younger, Lewis is distinctly more experienced and much more comfortable in what I need with a Dominant.
Bragging is the highest form of praise I can give, letting the closest people to me know I’m happy with Lewis and wish for him to stay in my life. I’m simultaneously praising Lewis for everything he does and begging for my chosen family to accept him and our relationship. It had worked wonders on my Aunt when she found out about Ryan. Although it might be in vain to get my hopes up on wishing Miss Parry heard me when I begged for her acceptance. The looks could be her being guilty she judged so harshly on Lewis, although a part of me doesn’t believe that.
I feel as if I’ve accepted the fact she may never like Lewis, and that is truly heartbreaking for me.
The cute pink-haired girl CeCe has been flirting with all day, giggles when my friend whispers in her ear almost instantly after walking from the staff room. My usually untouchable friend is willing to be touched and tugged closer as long as she gets to her goal, I assume that is to get laid but she could also like this girl enough to look for a relationship. CeCe throws me a distracted wave of her hand, appearing more of dismissal than a friendly wave yet I know she is eager to leave. She nearly runs straight into Lewis, who to my immediate pleasure is just opening the door and stepping in. It’s been colder outside, it’s now early November, and instead of his unzipped hoodies and ripped jeans for work, he’s in a gray pullover and jeans that only have one fresh rip on the right thigh.
His hair is down, rare for me to see because since I met him he has had his hair in a man bun, but today the dirty blonde hair is down and styled to the left of his head, showing off the shaved right side. The way he has it his braid isn’t visible, buried under the hair. If he turns a certain way, his hair shifts and it peeks out at me. I have been meaning to ask about it, I’m curious what it means or if he dyed his hair and he left a few strands of his natural hair color, although that sounds like a lot of work.
He grins at CeCe and her apparent date today, the pink girl turning pink when she needs to look up at him. He steps back away from CeCe, they were nearly chest to chest and he knows of her dislike of touching, he always is careful not to make her uncomfortable with unwanted touches. Then he bends at the waist and playfully swings his arm to open the door for them, like a stereotypical doorman. The pink girl laughs and tugs CeCe by her hand past Lewis, thanking him sweetly while CeCe rolls her black eyes. Lewis only laughs at her middle finger.
When he turns back to walk closer to the counter, I catch him by surprise and tackle him in a hug. I was watching from the staff room door but had inched closer and ran at him, attaching to his waist and hugging him tightly. He calls out in a surprise, nothing too loud or over the top, just a short, “Ah, fuckin hell!’
He laughs when he looks down at me, arm encircling my body and squeezing gently. “Ya scared me there, Bonnie. Gonna go an’ give me a heart attack.”
I roll my eyes, giggling, “You’re being dramatic, Lewy.”
He hums, shrugging a shoulder, and softly tugs me closer to his side. “Nah, ya’re so beautiful I get a heart attack every time I see ya.”
I groan at the horrible sentence, hitting his chest and feeling the rumble of it as he laughs. I fight blush as I scold him, my laughing interrupting it. “How long have you been holding that? That was horrible!”
“Ah, come on now, Bràthair Jack said it’d be good. I’ll have ta give a punch or two next visit.” He is smirking and I honestly can’t tell whether he’s joking about punching his older brother or not. Thinking back to him and Seán beating each other, deciding that he isn’t joking, I know it’ll only be playfully though so I’m not concerned for Jack.
“If he gave you that, he deserves a punch. A soft one, but one anyway.”
He laughs and kisses my hair, “I’ll keep that in mind. Now, wanna go ta your place and watch glaikit movies? Sharks?”
Rolling my eyes again at his suggestion, I shake my head. “I need to talk to Miss Parry, your shark movie obsession can wait.”
He huffs like a child, yet nods. Tilting his chin up to indicate behind me. “Then ya better get goin, any longer and I’ll throw ya over my shoulder.”
A shiver goes through me at the picture of Lewis picking me up and tossing me on his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, suddenly wanting it to happen and to lead to something more than shark movies and cuddling. I don’t doubt that he could pick me up and carry me easily, he’s just so big and probably handles more than my weight in materials for sites he works at. I most likely wouldn’t cause him to strain at all and he could easily stop any struggling I may give at first, and that thought is an immediate turn on.
I force myself to nod and take a breath, turning around and shortly searching for Miss Parry, who has appeared near the Staffroom and is watching us again. I give Lewis a small squeeze and untangle myself from him to walk over to her, grabbing his hand in a last-second thought and dragging him with me. It’s not actual dragging, he walks behind me since he safely assumes I wouldn’t be able to drag him anywhere. My boss is fidgeting again, messing with her ring, glancing between me and Lewis as if she can’t decide who to avoid looking at.
Once we come to a stop in front of her, Lewis wraps around me like a clingy boyfriend. Arms tight around my waist and chin on my shoulder, shoulders curved inward as if to shield me from something, his chest pressed flush against my back and allowing me to feel the faint impression of the belt he has on in the middle of my back. Miss Parry notices how I lean into his body, letting him hold me and welcoming it, how I play with his thick fingers. She winces and looks away, appearing guilty.
I’m now more concerned than I originally was, wondering why she won’t look at us, me. She glares at Lewis every day and gives me smiles, what could have happened? Did she figure out that Lewis is amazing to me, did she accept him and feels bad about how she treated him? I’m eager to know the answer, nervous to know if it’s good or not. Maybe Sarah is in trouble or her girlfriend, is Oliver okay? My aunt? My family would’ve called if something was wrong, but then again, I don’t talk to them much.
“Miss Parry, are you okay? You seem nervous.” I have what I hope is a comforting smile while I ask this, wishing for good news.
She merely smiles, forced and strained, not meeting her eyes. She glances at Lewis again, observing him ignoring the entire situation to softly nuzzle my neck like a huge cuddly dog. His beard is tickling my skin, but not to an unbearable extent, it feels nice and the bushy hair of it is no doubt going to leave a faint pink mark. I find myself praying that it does, craving for Lewis to give me a beard burn. I tilt my head to give him more access and his lips curve into a smirk on my sensitive skin.
Miss Parry’s voice is nearly normal, her confidence is missing and her tone isn’t as strong as it usually would be. “I’m fine, Thomas. I just got a call from someone and I’m still startled, I wasn’t expecting them to call so soon.”
My eyebrows furrow, curious. “Who was it?”
She never spoke of any of her family except her father and her Uncle, and that is my first guess. That one, or both, had called and surprised her. I know she still speaks to Ryan, he visits us sometimes when he’s free from work but he hasn’t called to warn me he’d come over. He gives me a warning in case I need to clean up paint or get my apartment in presentable order- even when he still helps me clean it. So, I don’t think it’s him.
She pauses, hesitates, for a split second. Then, “No one, dear. I doubt you know him.”
I’m unconvinced. A man called her and she’s now acting strangely, I consider that a cause for concern. I have met her father and Uncle, two kind men with a habit of enjoying pranks and messing around not unlike Lewis and his brothers. Oliver is the only consistent man in her life that would get this sort of reaction, or maybe someone on his side of the family. They live out of state and some of his relatives are in Mexico, I’ve heard that a few years ago and they could have moved here. I don’t know very much about his side of the family, yet it could be one of them.
It must show that I don’t fully believe her, because she steals one of my hands, interrupting me in memorizing the calluses on Lewis’ fingers. “I promise, Tommy. I’m fine, just anxious to see the man who called me, Oliver has yet to talk to him and I’m unsure how that will go.”
I’m still unsure, my stomach in a small knot and I have an odd feeling that something isn’t right. It’s bothering me and making me much more worried, about what I’m unsure of. Miss Parry doesn’t lie, or at least she doesn’t to me, and if she says she is okay, I should believe her. Yet, my gut and mind tell me otherwise. I open my mouth to ask again if she is sure, try to push her and see if she is hiding something or is scared about who called her. Miss Parry catches it too and goes to say something, to assure me.
Lewis interrupts us both, tongue clicking as he stands straighter, large hand reaching up to my hair to force me to tilt my head so I stare up at him. He’s smiling, a soft one that makes my chest and stomach tingle with butterflies. “Don’t go pushin her, M’eudail. Said she was fine, take her word. Later, ya can ask again if ya need to. Now, let her calm down.”
My nose wrinkles at that, I don’t want to leave her like this. What if something is really wrong and she needs help? I need to be here. Lewis’s hand tightens just enough to cause a slight sting and gain my attention back to him, “She needed help, she’d tell ya. Said she was okay, aye?”
I nod best I can with his hand tangled in my hair and with my head tilted as it is, and he smiles as he loosens his hold. “Then she don’t need help. Let her deal with it, then ask on the mornin’.”
Reluctantly, I agree with that. Miss Parry would have told me if she absolutely required help for anything, and she hadn’t. Stated she was okay and explained why she was acting oddly, it makes sense that she’d be nervous for Oliver’s reaction when he sees whoever had called her. If they hadn’t seen each other for a while something may have happened or they got into an argument that made Oliver upset with the man that contacted her. He might be unwelcome in Miss Parry’s home if they left off on the wrong foot.
Sighing unhappily, I say with a pout, “Fine. But I’m asking you tomorrow again, just in case.”
Miss Parry chuckles and nods, “Of course you will, dear. I’m sure everything will turn out just fine. Run along, I have customers to deal with.”
I smile at her, feeling Lewis release my hair and slide his hand down to enclose my own. He gently tugs me away, allowing Miss Parry to go past us to the counter to start the closing shift. On the way out of the door, Lewis pulls me past him to go outside while he holds the door open for me, and he whispers a “Good boy.”
The shark movie Lewis chose is ridiculous, the plot is messy and the acting is terrible. It’s hilarious though and the gore in it pleases Lewis’s love of anything with blood, one of the reasons he’s been obsessed with shark movies since he found he enjoyed them when he moved here. He’s gotten me into liking them also, and tonight we plan on having a marathon of them. We haven’t gotten to spend much time with each other ever since he got his new schedule, excluding his days off, and we want to spend some time relaxing and not worrying about pleasing Miss Parry.
It was his turn to pick the movie, I had picked the previous one. Lewis found a positive motivator to get me to decide, had placed two from the stack he brought over in front of me and demanded I point at one then waited patiently whenever I hesitated to pick. When I finally did, he praised me to heaven and back, then placed a kiss on the corner of my lips before moving to get the movie ready. I was stressed, my anxiety convinced me I’d pick wrong and that he would be upset with me. When he praised and kissed me, all the stress and nerves melted away and I was left with a warm floating sensation.
The movie playing is full of gore and while I’m not usually one for blood and guts, in movies I find it okay. The actors in it are try-hard and the ass shots are plenty, the sharks look fake and nothing like I imagine sharks appear or swim. The plot of it isn’t bad, I can follow what is happening and understand it easier than some of the others. It’s still funny and entertaining, a good watch.
We’re on the couch, snacking on the almonds Lewis bought. The Scotsman is laid back, legs stretched out with his ankle crossed over the other, one arm behind his head acting as a pillow and the other is resting on my waist. I’m laying on his chest, my legs on his while I’m stuck between him and the back of the couch. The bag of Almonds is resting on his stomach and I’m feeding both of us, he hadn’t told me to feed him but I wanted to. So, I’m placing an almond on his tongue then eating one myself, content knowing I’m serving and pleasing him, and being held close.
This is the most I’ve been content in a long time and while Lewis brings that feeling in most things he does, this is the strongest I’ve felt it. Because it’s just us and Miss Parry isn’t here to ruin it, he doesn’t have to leave for work and I don’t need to wallow in loneliness. I can just relax and allow Lewis to take care of everything until he needs to leave- be that tonight or the morning. Let me leave my head and focus on Lewis, be a good boy for him, and pretend we’re official. Listen to any demand he has for me, follow my schedule, and enjoy the humming he’ll do for me before I go to sleep.
We’ve been watching movies since we came to my apartment after my shift ended, it’s now going into the evening and I’m mainly paying attention to how Lewis’s chest rumbles whenever he makes a comment or laughs about a scene in the movie. It’s impossible not to have nasty thoughts when his body is pressed against me, all huge and hard yet soft, muscles that hold so much power, his large hand on my waist rubbing my hip absently. The only thing on my mind is how easily he could hold me down and just wreck me if he wanted to, pin me down, and take what he wanted, do what he wanted.
I had noticed he grunts a lot and can’t help but wonder if he does during sex also, if he growls or sneers, if he makes noises considered animalistic. For some reason, I have no idea why, he seems like he would. Maybe it’s because he does grunt and growl more than I’ve heard from a man before, and he is a massive amount of man- like a bear, with the beard and all.
Now, if he was, say, thrusting and holding, I don’t know, me, down on a surface- I need to stop. I officially have an issue, thinking about Lewis like that with him directly under me, now that is a thought. Him under me and letting me fuck myse-
I jerk my head to look at Lewis, who is watching me with an amused smirk. I noticed that I had stopped moving to feed us almonds and that I do have an issue in my pants, that is pressing insistently against his thigh. I go red in horrified embarrassment, burying my face in his neck. We agreed to no sexual acts and here I am, popping a hard-on, on his thigh. Lewis chuckles, his hand sliding up to squeeze the back of my neck. “It’s okay, ghràdh. Ya want me ta help, or let it do down?”
I whine, him suggesting he would help only makes me more turned on. As much as I‘d like to know what he’d do to assist me, “We agreed no sex, though.”
It comes out pitifully, a pout evident in my tone and Lewis laughs again, not unkindly. “Aye, no sex. If ya want me to, I can just get ya to finish. No sex, or scenes. Like, masturbating.”
It sounds amazing, letting Lewis guide me into finishing, that’s what I got from what he said. I’m considering agreeing to it, because we wouldn’t be breaking our agreement if he helped me masturbate- that isn’t technically sex, he isn’t being referred to as Master and there isn’t a scene going to happen. Then, I start to think about what will happen afterward, what if I regret it happening? What if Lewis does? Would it make things awkward, weird?
He could just leave after he makes me come, I doubt he would but the slight fear of that happening is still present. All the doubts and overthinking cause my issue to go soft, half mass, and I don’t notice it until a knock on the door startles me. Lewis is watching me, unoffended and most likely knowing I was in my head. He only smiles and kisses my head when I go to say something, to apologize for how that seemed- that I went soft at the thought of him helping me.
He shifts carefully to move me on the couch as he gets up, speaking once he’s standing. His hand in my hair, tugging it softly to make me look up at him. “We’re talkin ‘bout what just happened, ya being in ya’re head. Later. I’ll answer the door, think about CeCe fuckin’ ya boss.”
Immediately I almost throw up at the picture he put in my head, my cock now fully soft and uninterested. I glare at him, watching him laugh while he walks out of the living room and around the wall to the hall where the door is. I pause the movie, the screen frozen on a shot of a shark biting into a woman’s leg with blood flooding the area, the woman is mid-scream and struggling. I can hear Lewis speaking with someone but tune it out, thinking it’s one of my neighbors or a stranger with the wrong apartment number.
I’m looking through the stack of movies Lewis brought, trying to convince myself to pick one and gain all that great praise Lewis might give me, make him proud even the tiniest bit. Lewis’s heavy footsteps can be heard walking back into the room after a bit and I expect him to sit back down, pull me into his side, and tell me that the person at the door wasn’t important. But, he doesn’t.
I raise myself out of my laying down position while I look over at Lewis, he has walked back in and stopped next to the couch, voice oddly controlled considering he was just laughing and having a good time. He’s staring at something when I give my attention to him, a question on my tongue as to why he’s seemingly bothered. Confused, I follow his stare to the doorway that leads to the door, a person I hadn’t expected to be here, standing there.
I feel Lewis sit down next to me, placing his ankle on his knee, and see his hand appear behind me on the back of the couch from the corner of my mismatched eyes. Although I blink at the person, confused.