ghràdh - Love
The bus driver ignores me running after him waving my arms, two young kids laugh at me when I finally stop trying and stomp at the ground like the five-year-old pointing at me. I would have actually been on time for work if it wasn't for that immature bus driver, I had gotten up when I was supposed to, got my shower, and dressed. Except, I forgot that on Wednesday's the buses run earlier for some reason.
I try my attempt at catching a taxi, a type of transportation that I usually avoid because of all the creepy stories, yet all of them seem to ignore me also. Waving my hands, jumping up and down, even whistling as they do in movies doesn't work. Do I not look good enough to earn a ride in a taxi? This day is turning out for the worse. I'm already done with it.
I thought I'd get one day of being on time for work and avoiding Miss Parry's punishments but as usual, my goal has turned to another dream that is as far away as humanly possible. It doesn't seem likely that this much unlock has fallen onto me, what did I do wrong?
Miss Parry isn't going to go easy on me, she was Monday with the opening shift and cleaning but she had also asked me to come in on time to help her finish decorations on a batch of cupcakes she made. I wanted to assist her because I feel horrible for always being late, it's also so I could get a cupcake- her cupcakes are the best. Now though, I'll be too late and I won't get one and she'll be disappointed with me again.
I hate that, disappointing her. Miss Parry is essentially the only mother figure I have and knowing I don't always make her proud is a failure on my part. She took care of me when I needed a job years ago and she helped my aunt keep food on our table, then took me in when my past came to haunt me. This isn't how I should be repaying her, being late every day, I at least should be able to be on time.
Running takes more effort than I want, I'm not in the best shape to be running and I wasn't very good at gym glass. One would figure with always being late to work, I would have been in decent shape to run without losing breath the first five minutes. I'm not that lucky. Besides, I normally don't run and I'm decent at catching the bus. This week hasn't been the best and I'm positive something is out to get me, there can be any other explanation for all the bad luck and running I have.
'Besides maybe my tendency to be late to literally anything.' I think dejectedly, as I push the door open to the coffee shop.
Miss Parry is waiting for me with another frown and her arms crossed, in her favorite black boots, holey jeans, and a deep red sweater. Her hair is up in a tight, but messy bun, and her black ring stands out against her pale skin. "Tom. Please tell me, someone died and you had to identify them."
I wince and slowly shake my head, seeing CeCe behind Miss Parry and shaking her head at me like a disappointed sister. "I'm really sorry! I swear I was on time! But the bus driver didn't stop for me and five years olds laughed at me and I had to run! I promise if I got onto the bus I would have been here!"
Miss Parry sighs, her fingers massaging the space between her closed eyes before she looks back at me. "Stocking, your normal shift, and third. Your working tonight, by yourself until closing. Understand?"
I lower my eyes to the floor, disappointed in myself for being late and not helping her with the cupcakes. She should have already fired me years ago, although I think she just pitied me. A fifteen-year-old, practically orphan with one older sister suck in a rehab program, having to fend for myself because my aunt is disabled with bad health and wasn't able to do very much to care for me. Miss Parry pitied me, for sure.
I'm eighteen now, nearly nineteen, and live on my own, though. I can find another job on my own, it'd take some time but I'm sure I'd be able to. Then again, Miss Parry spent her time partially raising me with my aunt, her husband is like the father I always wanted. Maybe she just sees me like family, that's hopeful wishing but it is a possibility with how she acts towards me sometimes.
Miss Parry was the one who taught me about sex and dating, my aunt didn't accept I was gay at first but eventually came around. She was also the first to meet Ryan, my very first boyfriend at sixteen, he was eighteen. Miss Parry liked him and she interrogated him, it was embarrassing when she figured out we were interested in BDSM but she only warned us to be careful and do research, to be safe. That relationship lasted a year and a half when we realized it wasn't as good for us as we thought at first.
It did hurt when we broke up because I had discovered new things about myself and I had gotten attached quickly, I liked having someone to order me around and have control over me. Miss Parry helped me through it, explained that not everything we want is good for us. Ryan was sweet, still is, and he wasn't abusive. We just didn't have enough knowledge of how a power exchange relationship like the one we wanted, worked.
Breaking up did help us, we were able to grow ourselves as a sub and a dominant. He's had multiple sessions with a professional sub and has relationships with experienced subs, he's grown into understanding how being dominant works. I've had a relationship with an experienced dominant after I turned seventeen, it wasn't physical and I wouldn't technically call him a boyfriend.
He was against my age but did help me understand my role as a sub and teach me things I didn't know before. It felt like he was my boyfriend because we would meet up for dinner and he'd talk about BDSM and answer my questions. I had gone to his house and we did non-physical sessions where I was able to figure out what I liked and disliked, he never touched me or took advantage of me. He respected my limits and stopped when I gave a safe word.
Looking back, I can see the similarities between what Ryan was doing and what I was doing. I had probably been involved in a session with a professional dominant, he just didn't inform of it because I told him my issues with submitting to someone I didn't trust. I trusted William, the other dominant I was with, and I understand if he just wanted to teach a new sub what real dominants would do instead of the false one aiming for sex.
I don't think underage people should be in BDSM, even if I was myself. I had rushed into a relationship I thought would be what BDSM was truly like and ended up being wrong, Ryan wasn't a bad guy and was trying to be a real dominant but some men, or women, aren't like that. It's easy to trust the wrong person and end up in big trouble, I wish I wouldn't have rushed and waited until I was older. I don't think gaining knowledge from the Internet is bad, reading experiences or talking to other subs or some aren't what I think is bad, but waiting until the right time, right age is important.
Miss Parry was with me through my discoveries of myself as a person and as a Sub, she helped me realize everything I've been through isn't what families are supposed to be. She supported the episode of depression I had when it became obvious that my childhood wasn't what I thought other children went through, that my family specifically was messed up.
It certainly wasn't as bad as others may have it but at the time, it damaged me. I still can't be around smoke or alcohol, be yelled at, and I have a few mild issues with anxiety, or at least, I think it's mild. I've never been to a doctor to have my mental health checked or be diagnosed with anything, but from what I've read about anxiety attacks or disorders, I've probably got a mild case.
The person who's been like a mother to me, my boss, has helped so much since I came to her begging for a job at fourteen- she only hired me at fifteen. I owe her so much and can't even be on time for work, it's disappointing.
Miss Parry pats my head, gives me a small reassuring smile. "It's okay, Thomas. I understand you try very hard and I appreciate that, as long you do the extra work I won't cut your pay. Your rent is due at the end of the month, you need to save up for it."
"Thank you, I'll try harder, I promise." Smiling at her, I do make a mental note to set my alarm for earlier in the day to make it on time.
One would think, working in the afternoon during Lunch hours would be plenty of time to get here. However, being unable to sleep means I stay up doing whatever I think would make me tired, then I randomly fall asleep and wake up late. It's a terrible schedule.
"I know you will, Hon. Now, it's about time for the rush, get to work." The command earns a quick nod before I run off the staff's room for my apron.
CeCe is in the middle of taking an order when I make it behind the counter with her, tying the strings of the apron around my neck. She's in her black jeans that have been worn and shredded, a dark red sweater with a big skull on the back that has snakes in the eyes and mouth with her leather boots. Her hair is down and her nails are colored black, red and each thumb is orange. That is probably for Halloween, it's her favorite holiday.
It's October and the weather is getting cooler, it allows her to wear big sweaters and hoodies without being judged too harshly. Halloween has always been her favorite, the scary movies, the haunted houses, the decorations; everything, and anything. CeCe is normally not much of a fangirl, she's mostly calm and undisturbed by basically anything that isn't my love life. But Halloween brings out the fangirl in her, take her to a Halloween store and that person will have her heart.
"Hey, Tomboy! You're here, I wasn't expecting you." CeCe smirks at my half-hearted glare, as she leans against the counter after dealing with the customer.
"Oh, haha, very funny." I use as much sarcasm as I can, rolling my eyes. "One of these days I'll be here before you and we'll see who's laughing then!"
CeCe's pierced eyebrow raises while she stares at me blankly, then she blinks her orange black ringed contacted eyes, and bursts out laughing. At first, I balk at her then I sigh knowing exactly why she's laughing. I'll never be here before her, it's impossible, especially for me.
Once she calms down, she shakes her head, "That was a good one, tell another, Tomboy."
She giggles at me, giving me a relatively gentle punch in my arm, it still stings as she doesn't know her strength. CeCe isn't a physical person, she doesn't hug or touch me, or anyone, very much. The most she'll do is a friendly punch on the arm or a first bump, when she's feeling super social with other humans she'll bump shoulders.
CeCe is an animal person, dogs, and reptiles more specifically. She has a Pitbull and a Husky, Jack and Sally; then a black and white KingSnake, Jason, and a red-black Fire Skink, Michael. She'd much rather be around animals all day, and she does volunteer at an animal shelter, but this job pays decent.
Unfortunately, she also has an interest in my relationships or lack thereof. "So, have you found a lover boy within the past day? I didn't ask yesterday."
I sigh, she didn't ask yesterday because she was busy flirting with a cute metalhead girl that walked in before the end of her shift. "No, C. I haven't and it'll be a while before anything like that happens. Have patience, like me."
She scoffs, "Sure, if 'having patience' is cuddling a pillow and texting me at four in the morning about wanting a boyfriend is patient, you so have it. Face it, Tommy, your desperate."
My nose wrinkles at being called out like that, just because it's true doesn't mean she can throw it at me to make a point. "Shut up! I do so have patience! I-I'm just really tired when I text you!"
That's a bad excuse on my end but I've got nothing to blame that on, sometimes I do text or call her at odd times at night. It's lonely in my apartment and when I can't sleep I like to imagine having a boyfriend to hold me or cuddle me, then I end up imagining what my dream partner would be like or things we do together. After that is when I usually contact CeCe, coming out of the imagination and realizing I'm alone isn't a great feeling.
I desperately want a boyfriend and Master, single life is not fun and not for me. But I always waited for them to find me and that worked, I don't know where to look for someone who is like me, that's into the things I am. It shouldn't be this hard to find a dominant or even a boyfriend.
CeCe opens her mouth to say something, most likely to call out my horrible excuse and tell me to go out to meet someone. To my luck, the lunch crowd from the office buildings pile in and distract us from our conversation. Hopefully, with all the orders for the next hour or two, CeCe will forget what we were speaking about.
The lunch rush lasted a bit longer than usual today, more people came in instead of the regulars that come from the offices a block or two down. It's a safe guess that our regulars recommend Miss Parry's food that she makes or the coffee. It's the most people I've seen without tattoos or piercings in a while, most of them were wearing expensive suits and looked apprehensive about staying in to order.
It's been about two hours and we just now get a small break as most of the crowd has gone back to work, I'm leaning my torso on the counter where we take orders while CeCe ran to the bathroom. I'm tired and I think I can survive without having another human interaction.
"So." I jump and my finger hits my eye as I quickly raise up, CeCe is standing behind me with her arms crossed.
"Little warning maybe? My eye almost came out!" Scowling at her, I gently poke around my eye. It didn't hurt and my eyes were closed, but let her believe I am hurt for the jumpscare.
She just stares at me blankly, rolling her eyes while she leans her back against the counter. "As I was saying, you're desperate for love and attention. Like an animal."
Blinking at her, I consider whether or not to be offended that I'm being compared to an animal. "Was that an insult?"
She ignores me, "The best play here is to get you laid. A good, hard, pound in the ass, it'll hurt in the morning, fuck. We'll go from there."
I balk at her, horrified she said that in work with an older woman within hearing range that is now staring at us. My face heats up and I can see my skin is bright red in the reflection of the metal on the coffee machine. "CeCe!"
She doesn't pay attention to me, instead, she looks over my shoulder and nods to the door. Glaring at her, I sigh and turn slightly to see the door, then promptly allow my mouth to drop open at the sight.
Just opening the glass door is a large man speaking to another man that is about the same size, both look close to seven feet tall and both have beards. However, the man that caught my attention has long dirty blonde hair in a loose bun, his beard is only slightly darker and trimmed. His jeans have rips and holes in them, he has no shirt just a neon orange construction worker vest and tan boots with crusty mud on them.
His arms are huge and his body is fit, shoulders broad and muscles vast and his pecs seem hard and soft- he reminds me of a movie with male strippers, he could pass as one with that body. He's twice the size of me, both in height and width. His waist is slim and I can see a trail of light-colored hair on his abdomen region that runs down, disappearing into his jeans. He has tattoos on his arms, another peeks out from under the vest, and his eyes look dark from what I can see.
His friend has the same boots and his jeans are worn as well, but he has a shirt on. His hair is short and brown, his beard is trimmed too. I can spot tattoos on his arms too, the most eye-catching being a cabin surrounded by woods. He's equally as broad and muscular as his friend, allowing me to feel smaller than I am as they move closer. Although, he seems annoyed by his hot friend.
As they get closer to the counter, I can hear what the sexy man is saying. His voice, deep and gravelly, causes a strong shiver to drop down my spine and my blood suddenly runs hot, he has a strong accent but at the moment, I can't focus on what it is. "Go for it! He'd do ya some good, Seán!"
His friend, Seán, rolls his eyes. Voice equally deep and accented, "Too young, Lewy. Lad is probably, what, sixteen? Seventeen?"
"So what?!" 'Lewy' winces at the head slap he gets. "What I meant, is to wait for him! He likes ya, keep feeding him and shit, wait till he's legal."
The other man shakes his head, thoroughly done with the conversation. Whatever they're talking about sounds sketchy, from what I overheard Seán is caring for an underaged boy that trusts him and Lewy is trying to convince him to do something. Is it still bad if Seán waits until the boy is legal age? I don't know, I usually stay as far away as possible from underage people.
Seán smiles kindly at me when they stop in front of the counter, slapping his hot friend's arm. Lewy had turned his attention to the glass shelves that contain the food, looking at sandwiches or salads, any other lunch item Miss Parry thinks of. He also allows his eyes, a beautiful green, to roam the baked goods.
The slap he received gains his attention, eyes snapping to his friend and childishly shoulder shoving him in return before turning to me. There's a change immediately as before he was like a child with their best friend, shoving and annoying them, now he's smirking and leaning against the counter giving me his full attention.
The action of leaning forward allows me to see his arms flex with movement and watch as his pectoral muscles push together. Even lowering himself as he did, he's still bigger than me. He's close to me, not exactly in my personal space but enough I smell faint sawdust, sweat, and machinery. They probably work at the construction site a few blocks down, building new apartments.
"Well, if I'd known a beauty worked here, I'd rush over faster. What's ya name, ghràdh?"
Blinking at him my skin flushes a pink color and I don't progress that he's speaking to me, looking to see if CeCe is still behind me. She's smirking at me from the other side of the counter, waving at me to pay attention to the handsome man currently flirting with me. He is flirting, right?
The word he called me throws me off and it's more obvious now that his accent is Scottish or Irish, but it makes him more attractive to me. Especially when he speaks in a language I don't know.
"Oh, um, I'm Thomas. People call me Tom. Uh, Hi." I stutter, unable to meet his amused stare as I play with my fingers and fiddle with my apron strings.
The man chuckles, a sound that comes straight from his chest and gives me goosebumps. "Aye, a cute name for a cute lad. Tommy Boy, Ya fine with that name?"
Quickly I nod, I completely like that when he says it. His accent gives it a nice flare and I feel special that he gave me his own nickname for me. "Yea.."
He just smiles more, widely, and confident. "I'm Lewis, friends call me Lewy. You're welcome to, if ya want." He glances at his friend as if just remembering him. "That's Seán, my Bràthair. He's a bit pissy now, don't mind him."
Shyly, I wave to Seán and earn another friendly smile. "Hate ta interrupt, but we got bout twenty hungry workers waiting for us."
Lewis scoffs, waving his hand, "They can wait. No rush, cutie."
I blanked out, completely forgetting I'm supposed to be working. Eyes wide, my spine straightens, "Oh, I'm so sorry! What can I get you?"
CeCe cackles in the background while Lewis and Seán respectfully hold in any laughter. Lewis happily interrupts Seán when he goes to open his mouth, "Surprise us with twenty-two lunch meals, whatever ya got, doesn't matter, we eat anythin. Twenty-two coffees, anything on the menu."
I have a momentary blank again, we haven't prepared that much stuff before. CeCe has stopped laughing and I can hear her getting to-go cups, preparing machines, or starting to make cups. We don't have that much on the menu, certainly not twenty-two things. Miss Parry will have a heart attack when hearing about this.
"Umm...Lewis Sir..we don't have twenty-two lunch menu items. Or that much coffee."
Lewis doesn't seem bothered, merely smiles again, "Copy some if ya have too, doesn't matter to us. I'm sure whatever you give us will be great."
I can merely nod, going with his encouragement as I go to the glass self and start placing different sandwiches and other foods in containers, then in a big bag. I do have to add the same foods as we only have about ten lunch items; we're mainly a coffee shop. Lewis doesn't pay attention to Seán, instead, he talks to me.
He flirts, calls me names that make my face heat up, and I shy away. He laughs when I hide my face behind the bags and smirks as I giggle at some ridiculous comments he makes about how I'm beautiful, that he'll come by every day to see me again. Lewis never crosses any lines by attempting to touch me or speaking about my body, as some people may do, he keeps his hands on his elbows and his eyes on my face.
Lewis's smile is wide and charming while I help CeCe with the coffee, green eyes bright with honesty with every compliment he throws at me, and every flirtatious comment he seems genuine in. I haven't been the center of someone's attention this much, much less a complete stranger. I'm positive my skin will burn off if it keeps increasing in temperature.
I can't believe he's flirting with me, giving me all his attention, and not appearing to mind that I don't return any compliment or flirt back. He evidently understands I'm shy and can tell I like the attention through my body language or my reaction to his words. I'm loving the interest he's taken in me and I don't want it to end, even if I'm shy and embarrassed, I absolutely love his confidence and he's alluring.
I'm disappointed when CeCe sets the last drink carrier on the counter, Seán having taken the rest to whatever vehicle they drove after he paid. Lewis had left momentarily to do the same with some of the food bags, now he's standing to his full height scribbling on a napkin.
He slides the napkin to me when he's finished, grinning just as widely, "you save this and text me, ya hear? I wanna talk to you some more."
Glancing at the napkin I find a number written on it with Lewis's name, the handwriting isn't very neat or elegant but it is understandable. I don't think I have the courage to contact him on my own, I wouldn't ever be able to send a text from overthinking and retyping a greeting. But I will save it, after all, a handsome man that's interested in me told me too. It's a good chance to break my streak of being lonely.
CeCe interrupts me as I go to answer him, appearing by my side with a large, smug smirk. "I have a better idea, here's his number. He's free anytime, I'll make sure of it."
She shoves a paper in his hand, his veiny, massive hand, then turns around and goes to deal with another person. I gape at the nerve of her, giving a stranger my number, talk about rude. Lewis laughs as he unfolds the paper to glance down at the number written in neat but rushed writing.
Then his eyes, green like the forest, flick back to my bewildered expression and tomato red skin. He smirks and chuckles, waving the paper gently, "This okay?"
It's considerate he asks if I'm alright with him having my number, especially when I didn't explicitly give it to him. I want to see him again, hopefully, find something to say to have a conversation. See if I can make a friend or, maybe, something more as he appears to be aiming for.
I nod, biting my lip, and my voice is soft as I answer. "Yes, it's, um, okay."
Lewis grins at me, happy with the answer, and pockets the paper. "Go head and save mine them, I'll be textin ya real soon. You have a good day now, talk later!"
"Have a good day also," I return the polite goodbye, earning another smile before Lewis's broad back turns and walks to the door.
I let now a breath and lean on the counter, laying my forehead on the cool surface to try to calm myself down. I'm smiling to myself as I realize that I just got an attractive man's number and he wants to talk to me again. Me, of all people, I can't believe this. Best day ever.
I can't wait for him to text, I hope he does. He doesn't come off like the type to lie, he genuinely appeared honest and kind. Lewis looked at me as if he thought I was precious or special, which only makes me feel good and give me butterflies. It's amazing how he did on the first meeting, maybe that should be a red flag but it came off as entirely genuine.
"Okay, lover boy, back to work. You can daydream while texting the sexy beefcake Daddy." CeCe states in my ear, receiving a yelp as I jump.
"CeCe!" Is reflexively said, then I process what she called Lewis, "CeCe!"