[Chapter Thirty Six]
Scottish/Irish Translation -
Gowl - An annoying person
Fuck off - really?
Gobshite - stupid and incompetent
mo bhuachaill - My boy/ my boyfriend (he means ‘my boy’)
tha gaol agam ort - I Love You
mo chridhe - my heart
The first time I meet Jack, Lewis’s older brother, and his wife, is the most embarrassing scene of my life. I don’t remember a time when I was so horrified to meet someone, but at the same time wanting to laugh at the situation I was in. Not meeting Jack, I was nervous about that, but not scared. It’s the way I met him that horrified me. It’s such perfect timing as if the man was just waiting for a signal to barge in and announce his presence, I’m concerned if he stood outside to make sure we were relaxed and not having a conversation; to make the jump scare that more powerful.
It happens after Lewis says those sweet, heartwarming words to me when explaining that he loves me and his family equally and that he considers me home, no matter where we go or end up. I had kissed him deeply in my relief and happiness, letting the words wash over me and the short depressing thoughts I had to disappear. The fact he even acknowledged that he saw a momentary change in my attitude made me happy, because whenever I hear of other relationships a person always feels ignored or that their feeling goes unnoticed; CeCe had even admitted that one of her girlfriends were that way. It’s one of the reasons that feelings make her cringe and push people away. Her ex had ignored and neglected her emotions and had let her feelings in their relationship go into a depressing stage where CeCe couldn’t handle it.
It’s relieving that Lewis actually pays attention to me, doesn’t let negative thoughts and feelings get to my head, he has asked and encouraged me to talk about them with him. He assured me my thoughts were wrong and that my feelings are valid, he showed he cares and wants me to be able to come to him and speak openly. I had already known that I could talk to him, yet at the same time sometimes I feel embarrassed and don’t want to go to him for fear that I’ll come off as selfish or perhaps clingy. Knowing that he notices when I can’t convince myself to speak to him on my own consoles me, he’ll come and broach the topic for me. I’m truly proud and stunned that I had the chance to meet and date him, I had never once thought I’d have a relationship as smooth as this. It almost feels like a dream.
In all the times I thought of myself in a relationship, the image I had was that of other’s experiences. The ignored feelings, perhaps being cheated on, or simply finding a man that never applied himself to the relationship- too focused on video games to give me single thought, being distant or just not interested in doing anything with me besides sex. Ryan was as there as he felt he could be, he loved his sports and his friends and video games, as a teenage boy does. He spent time with me and respected any limits, but he didn’t understand that I had certain issues and I needed help with them. My anxiety is a good example; he hadn’t realized that him trying to get me to spend time in a large group of his friends- teenage boys that were bigger and meaner than him- made me anxious, that ordering for myself made me panic or any of my triggers even existed. I don’t blame him, I understand that some of it is my fault for not informing him of my triggers or anxiety. Yet he should’ve also noticed me shaking in the presence of his friends, not push me to order when I clearly am unable to.
However, with Lewis, he does more than I had ever expected. I genuinely feel loved and cherished by him, I’ve been proven multiple times that he wishes to protect and give me anything I ask for that’s within reason. Lewis makes sure that I’m comfortable in the presence of others and notices if I’m not, he orders for me whenever we go to a restaurant and takes the time to check with me in spaces that may trigger me. Lewis shows he made me one of his first priorities early on in our relationship, and that I still am. I adore the Scotsman and know with certainty that Lewis feels the same about me, and that just amazes me.
When he said those words it felt like all the love for him just jumped out and I kissed him as deeply as I could to show how much I appreciated them. He chuckled against my lips and held me even tighter to his chest, then allowed me to cuddle into his neck and bask in the feel of his hands on me, the chest hair and his beard against my forehead, and his cock resting inside me. This leads me to the single most horrifying moment in my life; meeting Jack.
Lewis hasn’t made a move to clean us or get up off the bed to get clothes, merely flipping the blanket over our connected hips to cover where his cock is still deeply buried in me and plugging the come from dripping out. I’m contently snuggled into him, no worries or concerns. Thick arms around my waist, large hands on my ass as usual, and the comforting kisses and breath of my hair. Lewis doesn’t speak, keeping us a comfortable silence and when I glance up at him I see his eyes have closed as if he’s sleeping, I know he’s awake by the occasional kiss and squeeze of my ass. I know we should get cleaned up and changed into clothes, his family is in the house after all. Yet I can’t seem to convince myself to move, too happy to lay here and nap with Lewis. Unfortunately, I should’ve listened to that thought.
It’s no more than a few seconds after I dismiss the thought, that the door flies open and a loud shout is released into the room. “Wee bastard!”
I spook so bad I launch myself off Lewis and nearly fall off the side of the bed, letting out a yelp at both the shock and feel of Lewis slipping out of me at such a sudden action. Lewis lets out a string of curses and hurries to catch me before I tumble off the mattress onto the hardwood floor, he manages to grab my side as he reaches over, his arm going around my waist and pulling me back to his side, holding me tight. The blankets thankfully tangled around our privates and kept our nakedness hidden, Lewis going the extra step to cover my chest and shoulders with the thick duvet to only reveal my head. I have to clench to keep from making another mess on the sheets with the load Lewis gave me, face heating to a bright red from the sheer embarrassment of needing to do it and the fact someone barged in with us in that position.
Lewis is tense next to me, his body having automatically moved to block me from the intruder, his lower back is pressed to my thigh and his back is mostly turned in my direction to look at the person. He relaxes once he processes who is laughing loudly in the doorway, spitting more swears and insults at the man. “Jack, ya gowl! Fuck off?”
The man laughing at our expense appears shorter than Lewis, average height with light brown short hair similar to the cut lewis has but the top is short instead of long. His eyes are a bright blue with thick dark eyebrows that remind me of caterpillars, facial hair like his brothers but his is shorter and much more neatly trimmed. Lewis and Seán don’t necessarily mind if their beard is trimmed and neat or not; I have to remind Lewis to or do it myself. He’s leaner than his brothers, where Lewis and Seán have thick muscles and are bulky with their height, Jack is slimmer with a subtle muscle on his arms. He’s handsome, and I vaguely wonder how Niamh and Conner managed to have all handsome sons. There’s a taller woman behind Jack in the doorway, watching with an amused smile. She’s obviously a few inches taller than Jack, with long light brown hair and arms of tattoos. Her eyes are a pretty dark brown color and she has small gauges in her ears. I’m assuming she’s his wife and the ring on her finger matches my guess.
“Oh, lord! Shoulda saw yer face! Pure gold!” Jack laughs, pretending to wipe a tear from his eye with a grin.
Lewis doesn’t look as bothered as I figured he would be, considering his brother just barged into his room while he had his cock in me. He’s smirking and even chuckling along with the man, leaning back on his elbows as if he’s completely at ease with what just happened. He’s still keeping skin-to-skin contact with me, hand coming to rest on my ankle to help calm me down. It would work if I wasn’t currently sitting tensely trying not to embarrass myself even more by making a mess on the bed in front of his brother and the man’s wife, they can’t see under the blanket but what if I’m forced to stand up or the blanket shifts to where they can?
“Nearly gave my boy a rough tumble and a heart attack, Bràthair. Coulda knocked first.” Lewis states, glancing at me and giving a comforting smile and squeeze of my ankle. Then he looks over to the woman and raises an eyebrow. “Thought ya were the brains, try to stop him?”
She laughs, a cute little sound. “I tried, he never listens to me.”
Jack gasps, incredulous. “I listen! Ya just didn’t try hard enough.”
Both Lewis and Jack’s wife roll their eyes and I stifle my laugh with the blanket, Jack must hear me anyway because the man is quick to snap his eyes to me and instantly a wide, ecstatic grin is on his face. He bounces over closer to the bed and looks to want to jump on it with us, luckily his wife is quick to grab his arm to stop him. He pouts yet backs off the side of the bed, his smile quick to return when he turns his eyes back to me. He’s energetic, voice loud in what seems to be an unconscious volume or something that happens when he’s too excited. “Hey! I’m Jack and this is my wife, Gabby! I’m this gobshites’ older brother!”
Jack is the most hyper man I have ever met, he’s cute and funny. He’s very welcoming and kind, from what I get from his greeting and all the smiles he has shown since breaking in and disturbing us. It’s a bit overwhelming for me, I’m not used to people being so bouncy or loud, although he does appear to know how to lower his volume because once Gabby nudges his shoulder with her, he calms down. She smiles sweetly at me and offers me her hand, I need to quickly think over where my hands have been and can’t remember touching Lewis while he had me earlier. So I shyly took her hand with a quiet, “Hi, I’m Thomas. Or Tommy. Nice to meet you.”
It is good to finally meet them, Lewis talks about Jack with such fondness that I always wanted to see the man who Lewis seems to look up to- not literally, Jack would need to tilt his head to look at Lewis. It’s just, the current situation I’m in with being butt naked and needing to clench is uncomfortable and keeps me from being able to fully enjoy the moment as I’d like to. This couple seems kind and I want to give them a good impression of me, even if I’ll still be shy and nervous without being naked. Lewis, of course, notices and squeezes my ankle again, giving me a small nudge and smile.
“Bràthair, get goin. Needta get dressed.” Lewis demands, raising an eyebrow when Jack merely blinks at us for a second as if to process the meaning of the words and takes a real look at us. Then goes wide-eyed and bursts into laughter again.
“Oh, ya were doin the nasty! Shoulda locked the door then!” Gabby rolls her eyes fondly while Lewis shrugs and nods along like he’s silently agreeing to the statement. Jack’s wife grabs his hand and drags him from the room with an apology for barging in, Jack shouting over his shoulder to hurry up because he wants to talk to me and catch up with his brothers.
I laugh as the door is shut back, falling down on the pillow with a sigh. Giggling a question, “Is Jack always loud?”
Lewis laughs, leaning down to kiss my forehead before getting off the bed. His nakedness is revealed, I don’t blush from the free show of him moving about the room, I’m far too used to the sight by now. I blush from the remainder of how we were interrupted and where his cock was when his brother barged in, from having to try hard to hold the load Lewis left in me. That was the worst thing to happen when meeting someone for the first time, in my opinion, I’m sure something could top that but unless it happens to me, this is the worst.
My boyfriend digs around his travel bag and tosses a plaid button shirt on the bed with a pair of jeans from mine. “Aye, he is. When he’s excited. Can turn it down once he calms, Gab is good at ’hat.”
“She seems like she is. Do you think they’ll like me? I mean, wasn’t I awkward just now?”
Lewis huffs a short laugh and pulls on boxers, coming over to my side of the bed and kissing me. Stating fondly and lovingly, “Yer always awkward, mo bhuachaill. They’ll love ya, just as ta others do. Ya’ll be fine.”
The week in Ireland was amazing, Lewis’s family had welcomed me and accepted me. I had so much fun with the new memories I have and with them, spending time with Lewis and his brothers. Watching the way the large family works and seeing how Conner and Niamh, along with dear little Ethniu, handle all the people and kids. Finally getting to watch Niamh cook and actually getting to help, going to towns and listening to more stories of Lewis from his cousins. Seeing some of the beautiful sights around the town that Ireland offers. Jack and Gabby spent the most time with me while Lewis was off with Seán and Conner to work, asking about our relationship, my painting, and how Lewis treats me. Jack seemed quite proud when I told them that the Scotsman treats me like a prince, the man had puffed up slightly and grinned while Gabby mentioned that Lewis had always been very affectionate to those he loves and that he must love to get to spoil me, saying we’re for each other.
Sadly, the time to leave came too soon. It was heartbreaking to see Niamh cling to Lewis and Seán with tears streaming down her cheeks, forcing each of them to swear they’ll come back to see her. Conner had hugged them both in a tight grip at the same time, fisting the long parts of their hair and speaking between them. The parents had done the same to me; Niamh kissing my cheeks and forehead, making me promise to come back with Lewis, and saying she’d send over more food for me. Conner had, shockingly, hugged me and whispered ‘better take care of Lewy.’, to which I quickly agreed. The entire household had seen us off, we were bombarded with hugs and kisses. Jack and Gabby had mentioned maybe traveling to America to visit us and some other friends, Aisling promised to send pictures of her baby and tell her boyfriend the threats Lewis and Seán made.
The flight home wasn’t as exciting as the one to Ireland, the brothers wanting to stay longer and already missing their family. Lewis spent the first few hours quizzing me about my enjoyment of his home, asking if I liked it or his family, if I would want to go back. He was immensely pleased when I said I loved everything about his home and that I had a great time, that I’d love to go back and see everyone and go on that tour he mentioned. He kissed me and thanked me yet again for making his birthday memorable. I’ve never been so proud of myself for asking Seán for help, doing so allowed me to see Lewis’s joyous grin and the reaction to seeing his parents. Not only did I make Lewis, and Seán, happy, meet his family; I’ve made new friends out of his mother and cousins, and Jack and Gabby.
I love that such a large family accepted me so easily, they seen Lewis is happy and loves me, and in turn, they do too. Not once did someone insult me or whisper gay slurs, no one was upset that Lewis brought me home. The only thing that happened was when another Uncle came in during dinner, shaking and sweating, talking about anything, and in general, being a loud presence that the others didn’t take very kindly to. He came in uninvited, plopping down in a seat across from me and helping himself to the food on the table, all while speaking and gesturing, dripping sweat, and having uncontrollable shaking hands. Conner had an expression on his face that he was close to getting up and doing something about the man, who I learned was Uncle Kane, Conner’s brother from Niamh when she started cursing him.
It took Kane a good fifteen minutes to notice me in the quick glances he would make around the table as if checking someone would come breaking the door down for him, and his eyes widened to reveal his dilated pupils. Lewis was tense next to me, watching his uncle in a way that I only see when he’s making sure another guy won’t touch me. I don’t understand what Kane said when he spoke to me, but from Lewis’s and his brothers, and fathers’ reaction I know he was most likely either an insult or a flirt. With the way the man had stared at me, flirting is the better option. Lewis gripped at my thigh, taking a breath to calm himself, and, in English, told his uncle I was his boyfriend and to keep such thoughts of me in his own head. Then it went from there, with Kane speaking in clear accented English of how’d he go about ‘layin with a such a wee screamer like him. Bet ta boy is a tight wee fuck.’. Niamh, Aunts, and cousins, along with Conner seemed shocked Kane would even think about saying anything nasty to me, or someone so vastly different in age compared to him.
Lewis didn’t stop to be shocked, as soon as he heard the first nasty thing about me, the man was up and moving toward his uncle. The only thing stopping him was Seán, Jack, and Conner, each grabbing my boyfriend to pull him back, and I got to hear Lewis growling words out in Irish to a laughing man munching on anything he could reach. Jack shoved Lewis back to me, nearly getting trampled on when Lewis made a move to punch Kane for attempting to reach over the table to grab my upper arm. Everyone was talking over each other, Lewis in a shouting match with his uncle and the others demanding Kane be quiet. Niamh demanded Conner take care of his brother and the former soldier and Seán had to force Kane from the house out to the barn. Lewis had gripped me in his arms and kept me on his lap the rest of dinner, asking if I was okay and apologizing for his uncle. I learned Kane was coming off drugs and didn’t behave as he would normally, the man is the bad apple in the family and while they love him, there’s only so much someone can take until they give up. Kane tried to get help and always went back to his drug, this time he stopped cold shoulder and is in withdraw.
Uncle Kane can’t be near me, if he is, Lewis needs to be with me and I’m held in a possessive grip until the man leaves the room. The older man is kept in the barn where Conner goes to talk and see what could be done to help, although he always comes back in looking exhausted. While I feel bad for Kane and want him to get better and have help, I’m also glad they separated us. I was extremely uncomfortable and Lewis was getting worked up a lot faster than he normally does. Other than that tiny misstep, Lewis’s family is amazing and I love all of them.
Back in the states, Seán is dropped off before Lewis drives us home. We’re all tired from the flight and once I get through the door of our apartment, Lewis picks me up and takes me to the bedroom, where he lays me on the bed. I pass out as soon as my head hits the pillow, Lewis busy changing me into shorts and a tank top. I’m aware of him shifting me carefully to undress me then pull new clothes on me, before finally moving my body under the thick blankets. I can hear him going about to dress for bed also, not fully asleep, merely waiting for him to wrap around me when he climbs in the bed. He doesn’t disappoint. Climbing under the blankets and shifting to get comfortable, he wraps his arms around me and tucks my body safely against his. His chest vibrates with the soft hum he makes into the back of my neck and I deeply sigh my contentment, sniggling back into him.
I wake up to Lewis shifting on his back, hearing him yawn and feeling the sun peeking through the window. It takes me a few long seconds to remember we’re home and I turn around to cuddle into his chest, feeling his tired chuckle as he lowers his arm behind me and gives a light squeeze. He kisses my head and lets his head fall back on the pillow, tilting it in a way to get a look at me. His voice is lower, rough from sleep, and how tired he is. “Wanna talk, Bonnie.”
Blinking the blurriness from my eyes, I look up at him, My cheek sliding along the bare skin of his chest and breath slightly disturbing his chest hair. “Yeah?”
I’m not prepared for the question, not expecting it first thing in the morning. His words are slurred endearingly, his accent thicker. “Wanna start ta lifestyle?”
I don’t think I shot up so fast, climbing over Lewis and tumbling on the floor in my haste to run to the dresser. I pull open the first drawer and snatch the special product before throwing myself back on Lewis, hearing his grunt and laugh. “Of course! Can I wear this?! Until we decide something permanent?! Please?!”
I lay the green collar on his hairy chest, bouncing on my knees as I watch him glance down at it then back to me with an amused smile. He undoes the button that keeps it closed and opens it, letting me stay on my knees at his side, making the mattress bounce with my excited movements for another few seconds. Then he nods, “Ya can wear this right now. But at bedtime, ya take it off. Don’t want yer neck gettin all fucked.”
Reaching up, he cups the back of my neck and brings me down closer to him, kissing my lips in a soft little touch as he clasps the collar around my neck. I swear I can feel my entire body and mind let go of a tension I forgot was there, the weight of the collar bringing such an intense comfort and safe sensation that I sag into Lewis’s neck with a pleasing tiny gasp and sigh. My muscles relax and my mind finally quiets down on any doubts or questions if he wants me, if I’m good enough. I’m wearing something that he put on me, he wants me and he loves me. I’ll always have that reminder now, the little weight on my neck to calm me.
“Thank you. I love you, Lewy.”
Lewis covers me with the blanket again, holding me on his chest after he fixes my body in a laying position. Kissing my hair and rubbing my back. “Nah, thank ya, Tommy Boy. Tha gaol agam ort, mo chridhe.”