[Chapter Thirty Seven]
Scottish Translation -
Joy - sweetheart or lover, term of endearment akin to ‘dear’ or ‘darling’
Mo Peata - My Pet
The quick nap Lewis lets us take Sunday morning following him finally putting the collar on me and us starting the lifestyle we enjoy, ends near noon. Lewis wakes me up by gently tugging my collar and lifting me off the bed, laughing at any whines and grumbles I make. He put me in the shower, helping me keep balance in my half-asleep state, then turned the water on. I had yelped in shock and jumped, nearly clinging to Lewis in my spook. The Scotsman merely laughed, kissing my head and fixing the warm water to be cooler for me. He instructed me to take my time showering, saying he’ll keep track of how long I’ll be to adjust my schedule, which he made clear we’ll be speaking about schedules, rules, and everything else we need to discuss before doing anything else. Usually wearing a collar comes after all the talk and topics that are important to our lifestyle, but Lewis probably just let me wear mine because I was so excited.
I like that Lewis is adjusting my schedule by the time I take in the shower, makes it more accurate and gives me a better idea of what I’m supposed to do at certain times. I get more benefit from it as I’m always aware of what I need to do and how long I have to do it, which gives me more structure and relief of not having to worry about what to do or when to do it. Considering he has me shower first thing in the morning, tracking how long I take when I’m not rushing will be what bases everything else on. If I take an hour, he’ll adjust, and the same for if I take twenty minutes. Then we can add whatever we think is needed for me. I like the schedule I have now but if I happen to think something needs to be changed, I’ll tell Lewis and he can decide if I actually need it or if what I have now gives me more benefit. We haven’t written down the schedule, since we hadn’t agreed to start the Master/Sub counterpart of our relationship, but I’m sure he’ll do it now and write down rules we agree on.
He had taken my collar off to avoid it ruining under the water, he was amused at my whine and told me I could put it back on after I dry off. I don’t rush, take my time doing my hair and washing my skin, even listening to some music. Five songs come on and go off by the time I get out, the open door bringing in the scent of cooking food, and I need to remind myself that Lewis wants me to stop rushing. I dance along to another three songs while I dry and get dressed in the shorts and sleeveless shirt Lewis placed on the sink. Lewis appears in the doorway, leaning on the frame when I turn the music on the phone off. I throw the towel I used on the curtain pole and gather my sleeping clothes into a bundle in my hands, my hair is still damp and hangs in my face when I grin at him, proud of myself for not worrying about time and rushing through my shower and even drying off.
Lewis smiles and pushes my hair away from my eyes, ruffling it then placing it in a way that it won’t fall into my eyes again. “’Bout thirty minutes. Good boy, proud of ya. Think ya can keep doin that?”
He grips the back of my neck and grabs my collar, gently turning me to be able to clasp it on me and I have a fight a wider smile, and a pleased sigh at the weight of it. “I can try. I feel much better than I normally do after taking one, and I actually had fun with the music.”
“Good. We’ll work on it, no more rushin’.” Lewis leads me from the bathroom by hooking his finger through the small metal circle on the collar that the leash connects to after kissing my forehead, taking me to the bedroom where he simply points to the dirty clothes hamper as a silent instruction. Feeling giddy, I drop the bundle of clothes in it, practically keening when Lewis squeezes the back of my neck as a quiet ‘Good boy’.
“Go on, food is waitin’ on ta counter. Eat, then we’ll sit and talk.” He lightly pushes me to the door of the bedroom, chuckling when I quickly rise up to kiss his hairy jaw before running from the room.
In the kitchen, the smell is stronger and I see bacon, sausage, egg for Lewis, shredded hash browns, and baked beans with toast that I was told was Irish Soda Bread Toast. There are two plates filled with food, one missing the fried eggs and the other a mountain of food. I take the smaller amount with no egg and sit at the counter, starting with the hash browns because even if Lewis doesn’t know how to cook, he can make great potatoes with the perfect amount of seasoning or flavor. The other stuff I know his mother sent over and already fell in love with the bacon, I usually dislike beans of any kind with only the rare exception, Niamh’s beans are my favorite. I have a smaller pile of food than Lewis, as he eats much more than me with his size and mass, so I’m nearly finished with my plate when my boyfriend walks from the hallway with papers and colored pencils I know came from my art room. I’m hoping he hadn’t seen my painting while he was in there, I want to give it to him but I’m nervous, and after visiting Ireland, I’m considering adding some details to it.
He places the supplies on the living room table, turning the tv completely off, and even closes the black curtains on the window behind the tv, the sun is still able to light the room but it’s noticeably shadier and slightly cooler. Afterward, Lewis sits in the seat next to me at the kitchen counter, nodding his head towards my plate and I turn back to focus on eating and not what he’s doing. He pats my thigh and gives a light squeeze, his voice the sternest he’s been with me. “Gonna go sit on ta couch when yer finished. Wait, and write anythin ya think is important down in purple. Includin kinks or ta like. Yer hard limits in red, limits ya’ll work on in green. Punishments ya think will work in black, rewards in brown. I’ll look over them when I finished mine, and we’ll do yer schedule, rules, reward, and punishments. As well as ’hat collar and leash, needta see bout public spaces with them. Understand, Tommy Boy?”
I can hardly contain my excitement, knee bouncing, and body threatening to jump Lewis to attack him with hugs and kisses. I already love this, the way he is doing this, and how his voice switched to be firm and domineering. Color coating the topics and having me write them down is easier for me to focus on which we’re doing and easier for Lewis to plan what he deems I need in a schedule or rules and what we should work on. Depending on what he knows and observed from my actions or what I told him, he’ll make sure that my needs are met and that we’re both pleased with the outcome.
I nod quickly, trying to control my grin. “Yes, I understand. I’ll think about what I should write.”
Lewis smiles, “Good. Eat up, then.”
Obeying, I go back to working on my plate, happy I have only a little left. In my mind, I go over what I think is important and what kinks or sexual acts I want to try more than others. Considering limits and what I find is a firm no in terms of acts I’ll try, punishments that I know I’ll dislike, or rewards that seem like a good motivation. Lewis is the one who will choose punishments or rewards, but I have to agree with them and tell him that I’m okay with them no matter how I’ll act during the punishment itself, promise to say a safeword if it does get to be too much. I know I’ll be okay with wearing my collar in public, I would prefer it even. It’ll give a nice comfort and reminder that I have Lewis, that I’m wanted and protected. Wearing a leash is fine in places where BDSM is the focus, clubs, little gatherings for pride or something, but I haven’t considered wearing it in a public store or even outside where people unfamiliar with the community can see.
Some people can be unreasonably angry and mean when they see normal BDSM acts, say a Dominant scolding their Submissive for breaking a rule in public; the Dom is verbally scolding their partner and mentioning a punishment. A person overhearing that could assume the Sub is being abused or think the dom is in the wrong and being an asshole, or maybe know of BDSM and dislike it; they could step in and start problems. It makes everyone uncomfortable if it happens, dominants can get aggravated at the person interrupting and for making the sub nervous, especially if the submissive has issues with anxiety. So, it never crossed my mind. Although, with how Lewis walks with me in the store, I can’t see how many would notice the leash. Maybe if we try it one step at a time, first have it under a hoodie then just let it hang down my torso until I get used to it, before Lewis holds the handle and guides me. I’m willing to try and if I don’t like it, I can tell Lewis. If I say it makes me uncomfortable, he’ll stop and do something that fits what I need even if it’s returning to how we are with him using our connected hands as a leash.
I still want to try Cum Play, it’s one of the first kinks I think I’ll enjoy and it seems like something that could have a great power dynamic in it. It’s more than just being stuffed with cum or ‘bathed’ in it, the act I want to try involves food and cum. The idea of Lewis cumming on whatever he gives me as breakfast or dinner and having me eat it is arousing and brings in another kind of pleasing humiliation or degrading depending on what we’re doing, I could be humiliated in a good sense or degraded to a mere pet; both of which is pleasing to me. Another of course is the sleep sex, but I’m positive Lewis is already working us for that considering what we did in Ireland. I like the thought of ropes and bondage, but whips or anything like them is a limit for me as I don’t like pain that much. It’s not a hard limit though, I will be able to try it, most preferably with a paddle or crop before working to a whip. Best to try things before labeling them as a hard limit, at least with things like that, unless you have traumatic experiences with them.
Bathroom play is very much a hard limit, I will not try that as the very idea makes me uncomfortable. Asking Lewis to use the restroom isn’t bad, I can do that, and have him holding me back until I feel like I’m bursting, sounds fun even- in thought at least. However, playing with piss or scat is a big no. I wonder how people got into it, how they found out they were into that, I don’t judge them as it would be mean and hypocritical of me as someone with an odd or taboo kink myself. I just would like to speak to someone who likes bathroom play, I think it’d be interesting to hear how they knew they liked it or why.
One of the other kinks I’ve read about that sound interesting is forniphilia, serving as a piece of furniture. I’m not sure if I’ll like it, because I like attention from Lewis and being used as furniture would take that attention away. The idea of being used as his footstool or even table has an appeal to it in a sense, but at the same time, I’m unsure if I’ll find it as pleasing in reality. I don’t have good balance on the best of days and I’d probably be anxious sitting on the floor with plates on me just moments from falling off my back. I’ll never know if I don’t try and even if I don’t enjoy the act of being used as furniture, the dynamic of the power play would most likely be enough to make me hard.
As soon as my plate is empty, besides a few crumbs or grease, I jump up and go running to the couch, yet I’m stopped by the clicking I’ve grown used to hearing. At the sound, I pause and turn my attention to Lewis, who smirks at me as he gestures over to the sink than at my dirty plate on the counter. “Clean yer mess, joy.”
Smiling sheepishly, I hurry my way to grab the plate and set it in the sink for later washing. Lewis simply nods once when I look at him afterward, and I run past him to the couch, hearing his chuckle. My boyfriend is taking his time eating, giving me time to do as he said without getting distracted by him, normally he’s a faster eater than I am, even with all the food he takes. I see the papers are marked Individually by color and topic; one has hard limits in red on one side of the paper and the other side has green for things I’m willing to work on, another paper has black for punishments and brown for rewards, and so on. The writing is messy but readable, the letters on the verge of blending like his accent does to his words sometimes. I start with the limits and what I’m willing to work on or try, considering I haven’t much experience in scenes or anything else since I haven’t had many dominants. I need to learn what my limits are and what I’ll consider too much, I’m merely going off what I read and assume, and I need experience to label things hard limits or something to work with.
Bathroom play goes down on hard limits while bondage and paddles or crops go down on the ‘work/try on’ side, slapping or knives goes to the hard side as I don’t have a good history with either. Body modification is a hard one too unless I specifically ask for something as a reward, piercings, or tattoos since I know some dominants have their subs get them. A little nose piercing may be cute, but I’m not ready for that right now. I need to think back to see if I have a traumatic history with anything else, and if I realize I do, I write them down as Hard Limits. Surprisingly, it’s not a very long list but I know that’s mostly because I haven’t done anything since William and he was just teaching me a little more, not doing sexual things or extremes. Once we do more new things, I’ll find more limits or interests of mine, same with Lewis.
The other side of the list, work on or try, it’s much longer than the Hard Limits. I keep remembering fetishes and scenes I want to try, like Lewis treating me as a pet. Not Pet Play, although that sounds and looks fun, the leather seems uncomfortable and the headgear I see on the extreme pet players is cute, yet not for me. I just want to try being treated as a dog, crawling along with Lewis while being led on the leash and maybe attempting to drink from a bowl. I want to try new things and see if I like them, I might find something new I like or find that I enjoy being his pet more than Lewis’s Slave/Sub. I have never tried Pet Play, but I’ve always been interested in it and the dynamic. I’d love to have a conservation with a Pet Player and know more about what happens in it or the headspace they go in, if it’s anything like what I go to in my mind.
By the time Lewis comes to sit next to me on the couch, green rules the paper and red covers half the side, and the other papers haven’t touched. I’m focused on writing down Gagging as something I’d try and my body jerks violently when he clicks his tongue, the green colored pencils making a sharp line from the last ‘G’ to the edge of the paper. When I look over at him, he has his eyebrows raised with a small smirk, he takes the green from me and slides the paper away to the side, replacing it with Punishments in black and Rewards in brown. I’m handed the colored pencils, all silently and I’m embarrassed that I got caught up on one thing and he had to fix where I put focus on. Lewis watches me start with the reward side, putting body modification at the top so I avoid forgetting and explain to him that it’s only if I ask. It’s quick, putting down things I know I’ll like getting more paint or supplies to getting sexual things.
For punishments I put spankings, even with the knowledge that I like them depending on the situation and how much force he uses. It’s difficult coming up with things I know I’ll dislike for a punishment, because I don’t want them to happen. Eventually, with Lewis sitting patiently, I come up with what I deem is more than enough acts that could be used as punishment and I move the paper away just as another with ‘Important/ Kinks’ is placed in front of me in purple. I blink at it and glance at Lewis, who is reading through the limits and thing’s I’ll try. He seems mostly amused when he speaks, “Ya wrote down kinks in green, do it again in purple. Then cross out what isn’t a limit ya want to work on, on this paper, needta to go over them after all.”
I pout, realizing I did put the kinks in the wrong place in my excitement to get started. Lewis pats my back and pulls me into his side, staying like that as I fix my mistake and go through the papers he set out. We stay quiet and I concentrate on the topics, thinking over what I put under each colored word. It takes almost an hour to do it, with Lewis looking at the done papers and things I put. He gets me a water and kisses my head when I do finally finish, gathering the papers in a small pile before grabbing some more and starts writing in purple on one. I smile once I realize he’s doing what I just did, writing down everything for me to see and we can talk over what will work good for us both. I patiently wait while he does, not wanting to interrupt or make him hurry through it.
Lewis is faster at it than I am, simply put in words instead of sentences like I did. He can skip the punishments and rewards but puts down a group under each title topic for me to agree on, and merely finishes the last paper in thirty minutes. I go through his limits and see that bathroom play is also a hard limit of his, as is slapping or ‘beating’ me, he doesn’t like Knife play or anything that could put my life in his hands with any weapons. He likes bondage and paddles, crops are on that list too, whips on the ‘will try’ list. One of his punishments is no painting for a certain amount of time and I gasp at that, which earns a huff of amusement from Lewis. I agree with most of his punishments and rewards, they are more serious and extreme than mine and one he stressed was merely a suggestion if I liked being treated as a pet; was time out in a cage- one big enough for me and no longer than an hour at most unless we agree for longer.
The discussion lasted two full hours. Making up my schedule and rules, both for in house and public, agreeing on rewards and the punishments. We both pick out a safeword and write them down at the top of the paper that holds my schedule; mine is ‘Pumpkin’ and Lewis’s is simply ‘red’. Planning my schedule is the easiest because it’s mostly the same as what we’ve been doing; thirty minute morning showers when Lewis wakes me up, dress in what Lewis picked, eat breakfast, brush my teeth for three full minutes, then go to work. When we get home, I’ll lick and shower Lewis then he’ll make sure I shower my full thirty minutes by staying in with me; I’ll paint for an hour and do whatever chores that need to be done unless Lewis says overwise and end the day with a cock warming session. That’s for days I’m working, when I’m off and Lewis is gone at the site he’s working it’ll shift slightly. My morning routine is the same, but will change once Lewis leaves; I’ll clean the apartment and do dishes or laundry, then paint for an hour, and if I don’t need to clean I will go outside and have a walk around the complex buildings. When Lewis calls to tell me he’s on his way, I will make dinner for us then do my evening routine.
I ask permission for everything; go to the bathroom, get something to drink or what we’re eating. He’ll leave strict instructions when he leaves for work I need to follow, all I need to worry about is doing what he says and let him worry about everything else. Lewis has agreed to take control of everything, including any bills or money. I am now not permitted to make purchases without Lewis allowing it. This takes a large amount of stress and anxiety off of me, I had quite eagerly agreed to this when he had calmly suggested it and mentioned he liked taking full control. So, as of today, my life is now in Lewis’s control - my decisions, my money card, basically anything important is his to deal with. I understand that some people think it’s too extreme and he has too much control, or that it isn’t fair Lewis does everything, but it’s how we agreed to live and we’re happy with it.
Lewis had liked my idea of taking steps with the leash in public and said we’ll start that on our next grocery trip, had also mentioned taking me to another club with his brother to help me get used to the public rules I consented with. It’s mostly the same as now, where I need to ask to leave his grip or view, I can’t randomly pick something up; they just fleshed out more and I understand what I can or can’t do. I’m not allowed to open any doors and when in a store, I either hold onto the cart when he drives it or I steer it while he guides me.
By the time we go through everything and have agreed on will work for us, I’m exhausted. Lewis laughs as he hangs the rules, my schedule and the punishments and reward on the refrigerator, while I fall back on the couch with a tired groan. When he appears at my side, I grin and stare up at him towering over me. What I Imagine is pure joy and pleasure in my voice, mostly teasing, “Can we nap, Master?”
Lewis grins and picks me up into his arms, grunting when he lets us fall back on the cushions with me laying his chest. “Got a nice ring ta it, the title. But I gotta better idea, how bout ya warm my cock up a bit. We’ll watch a movie, since ya been so good for me, Mo Peata.”
I don’t think I had ever nodded so fast, even if I know it wasn’t a suggestion. “Yes, Master.”