[Chapter Thirty Nine]
Scottish Translation -
Mo Peata - My Pet
Bonnie - Beautiful/ Pretty
ghràdh - Love
Bairn - Baby
Three weeks go by pleasantly, much to my satisfaction. Lewis and I continue our adjustment to our new extreme change and everyone leaves us be. Miss Party hasn’t spoken badly about our relationship, Lewis’s status as my Dom, or of my dear collar. She has been respectful to each of us and sometimes she pauses herself to stop from speaking or change the path of her sentence, but we appreciate the effort. She even mentioned that she visited Hannah and that my Aunt had chastised her, giving out a few ‘back of head slaps’. Miss Parry hadn’t mentioned any details of the extreme power dynamic Lewis and I have to Hannah, saying if I wanted to do that, I’ll do it. I found that nice, considering she could very well have made yet another issue by spilling what happens behind closed doors. My Aunt may like past statuses of Men and Women, but that doesn’t mean she’d liked that for her nephew. It’s a possibility she’d be proud I’ve got Lewis to literally provide and handle things for me, yet I’m not willing to risk another person out to get us for how our relationship runs. We’re happy, that’s all that should matter to others outside our home and life.
A new development is that I feel the urge to test Lewis, test what limits rules have, or how far he’ll let me push him until I land myself in a punishment. I’ve reread the rules and the punishments for each, deciding on an easier and less harsh one- the cage, it’s still a possibility, and a paddle, to name a few. Lewis had asked if I was comfortable with more harsh or extreme disciplines and I had agreed because I do feel like it’d be something that could help me be better and learn. If he was soft on me all the time, I don’t think I’d be as happy or responsive to him. Some like soft Doms and I see the appeal, yet it’s not for me. I adore strict and firm Dominants, feel like I’d be better with a stern voice and a safe yet severe discipline to lead me. Lewis is a good balance I think between Soft and Harsh Dominant, he’s soft at certain times when he knows I’m merely playing around, yet is also an extreme Dom by the way he handles my schedule or my time and his corrections of my actions.
A paddle is extreme to me simply because I haven’t had an experience with one and it makes me nervous, I’ll still try it but we decided to label it as a punishment until, if, I think I like it. The cage is purely for if I end up enjoying being his pet, we haven’t tried that certain curiosity of mine yet but Lewis had promised we will soon. If I dislike it, the cage will go. Other extreme ones need to be time-based for my safety, such as the cage but without the freedom of shifting around in the space, it could provide. I’m not ready for those quite yet, I’ll get there, gradually with Lewis guiding me and if he deems me ready he’ll talk to me. One of the easier and softer ones will do just fine to satisfy my urge to test him and feels that overwhelming ‘Owned’ sensation.
Disobeying a command, not asking permission, or going against my schedule is the easiest way to receive punishment and I know Lewis will be mildly disappointed with me, but he’s been waiting for me to go against him. He knows I’ll test him, has been eyeing me carefully and watching my actions with a new intensity. I’m aware that whatever he gives as a discipline will be mildly soft or mentally powerful, there is no between. Either he’ll encourage me by giving me a punishment that won’t do its job at discouraging me from breaking rules or make me know that I won’t be let go easily. Mentally powerful punishments can either go horrible or good depending on what is happening, then what happens afterward. I don’t know which I’d prefer, but I trust Lewis and his decisions.
Today’s my day off, Saturday, and I’ve been busy thinking of which rule to break while doing my chores. It’d be better to do it when he’s here, that way I won’t have to lie or wait for him to return home. He had already called to tell me he’s on his way back and to make something for us to eat, merely to warm one of his mother’s dishes. That’s what I’m doing, heating some meat and side dishes that make the apartment smell good. I glance at the papers on the fridge that have rewards, punishments, and my rules and schedule, deciding I’ll break the next command Lewis will give me. Unless it’s something to do with my Schedule, I don’t want more punishment time than necessary. This is to just test Lewis and how far I can push on things, nothing overall serious and my boyfriend knows this.
A bad decision made, I wait patiently- read: impatiently. It normally takes Lewis twenty minutes to thirty with any traffic, this means I’m left to vacuum the hardwood floor and the little carpet we have in the hall, all while simmering in the slight nerves that are building steadily in the minutes that tick by. By the time I hear the truck pull in and park in front of our cute, tiny yard, I had done some dusting on the tv and tables, as well as wash the little dishes there were. All in all, I feel productive which is a good thing and the nerves had mostly settled. They return instantly at the sight of Lewis, not of him, of what I’m about to do. My boyfriend closes the door after kicking his boots off at the small area set for shoes, green eyes studying me as I busy myself with making our plates of the warmed food.
Lewis follows me to the kitchen, hugging my waist from behind and kissing my temple. “How was yer day, Mo Peata? Stay on track with yer time?”
I nod, trying to calm myself down from knowing I’ll be getting a punishment and to remind myself to focus on his words. “Yes, Master. I even dusted while waiting for this to warm up.”
Lewis hums, tone of his voice not revealing an ounce of suspicion or anything to tell me if it was too obvious that I’m nervous by saying I did extra chores. It probably was, who would do extra chores? “Did ya? Good boy, thank you. Paint anythin?”
“I added some details to one I want to give you, I was going to show you a few months ago but I got nervous.” I earn another kiss to my hair for the admittance.
“We’ll go look at it before we leave if it’s finished. Ya shouldn’t be nervous ta show me something ya made, it’ll be great, sure of it. Yer a talented artist.” Lewis assures me, before taking his plate and leading me to the living room when I grab mine.
We eat while watching a Netflix show about loggers, Lewis explains things to me when I’m confused since he knows some of the machines they use and had known some loggers In Scotland. However, he can tell I’m distracted from my thinking considering he watches me more than the show and I’m starting to think he knows what I plan, it’s kinda creepy and a brief thought goes through my head that he can mind read. He makes no move to ask me or give a sign that he knows I’m gonna break a rule, other than eye me carefully. So, he’s going to allow me to continue and let me test him, isn’t even worried about what I’ll do and I like that. He’s confident that he can handle me and show me he’s what I need, even if I already know that.
It’s when we both are done with our food, that things go down. Lewis sits up, stacking the two plates, and stands up, I know what he’s going to say and I hype myself to bring out any brat in me. “Gonna grab our clothes, go on and put these in the sink.”
He gestures to the plates, keeping his eyes on me and I see the faint, so very faint tilt of his lips into a smirk. I may have misjudged how good he can read me. Forcing back any slight nerves, I state, “No.”
His eyebrow raises, “No?”
“Yeah..” and remembering that it’s one of my rules to call him by his title and that I’m trying to avoid more punishment time, I add as an afterthought, “Master.”
Lewis nods once as if going to entertain me being a brat and telling him no. Then he speaks, voice much more stern and hard, “Put them away, Tommy Boy.”
My response is to make a show of laying back and stretching on the couch, smiling widely. His eyes darken, yet the smirk is still in place and he allows me to play this game for a minute longer. Staring at me and seeing if I’ll eventually do as told, I don’t. Then I’m yanked up by his hand on my wrist, the firm grip not enough to hurt, and lead to the corner next to the tv and covered windows. Lewis places me in the corner, hand on my lower back to keep me from moving away from how close I am.
“Since ya wanna be a wee brat and not listen, yer gonna stand here with that nose of yers touchin this wall, no talkin. Five minutes, then I’ll let you out. Ya understand, Bonnie?” His voice is the same harsh tone, stern, and domineering.
I think about throwing a tantrum, but that may just make this worse. Time Out’s are a mental powerful punishment because I have to stand here and think, without Lewis paying attention to me or being able to talk. I can’t do anything besides stare at the bleak color of the wall and keep my nose touching it, this works my mind instead. Makes me think through what I did and why it’s bad, why I did it. Most don’t think it is, but it’s a powerful action to give to a Submissive. It shows me Lewis will not be afraid to give out powerful or harsh punishment, will not be pushed by a bratty attitude but still let me play with the power balance somewhat. I have a feeling he would have allowed me to keep going, but he knows this is a test and gave me a straight punishment to show he won’t always play along. So, I nod my head and feel Lewis’s hand gently nudge me into the wall until my nose touches the crease in the corner of the wall.
“Five Minutes.” He reminds me, before squeezing the back of my neck and giving a light tug on my collar, then leaving my side.
I can hear him enter the hall and walk into our bedroom, focusing on his movements and not moving my head. My emotions feel messy, upset that I disobeyed him although it was for a small test and I know he’s not genuinely disappointed in me, I’m disappointed in myself. It’s normal for subs to test Doms, I shouldn’t be upset over that and I’m not, the action of actively disobeying and earning a punishment is what I’m regretting. I do deserve one, not listening to my Master and refusing to do his instructions is not good and I shouldn’t have done it. Then again it was only a test and I should’ve been more prepared for this punishment, I knew what I was getting myself into and that somehow makes it worse but it was a test. Doesn’t that make it better? I still went against Lewis, disobeyed a simple instruction that would help me be better at cleaning up my mess, Lewis has reasons for giving those kinds of commands and I should know better than to question him about them- or refuse to do one that doesn’t hurt me. So, no it doesn’t make it better.
I go so deep in thinking about the test and trying to sort my feeling out, that I jump when I feel a large hand land on my shoulder and I hear the clicking Lewis does. My collar is tugged as I’m turned around and softly pulled from the corner into a warm chest, big arms wrap around me tightly and a kiss is pressed to my hair. My head clears nearly instantly, taking comfort in Lewis and the soft murmurs of how I did good in my punishment, that he’s proud of me, and that he’s not, or ever will be, disappointed in me. Sighing into his throat contently, I let go of any thoughts I had in the corner and take Lewis’s words to heart.
After some minutes, Lewis pulls back to look at me clearly, tilting my head up by lightly pulling at my hair. “Ya satisfied with yer test, ghràdh?”
I smile, Yeah. Thank you, Master.”
Lewis grins, leaning down to kiss my lips then points over to the plates that are in the exact place we left them. “Go on and put them away. We’ll lay down, watch more of that show and eat some ice cream.”
Grinning, I hug Lewis. “Yes, Master.”
Lewis loved my painting. I was anxious when I shyly showed him the canvas but he had immediately hung it on the wall and stared at it, looking at all the details in the country, the house, and his family’s faces or bodies. It’s an overview of his family home in Ireland, the house and fields from the memory of the art on the coffee table in the living room, and added details from Ireland. I added Jack and Gabby to the picture, standing next to Seán, who is with Conner while Lewis and I are next to Niamh. I spent hours, days even trying to get all the details right and any shading or colors. The sky has dark clouds because it likes to rain in Ireland and there’s a bit of fog in the field with sheep. The barns are there, including the truck Conner picked us up in. Lewis hugs me tightly, lifting me off my feet and kissing me with so much love. I was filled with happiness, blushing at his compliments and picture taking to send to his parents and family. A large, heavy weight is lifted at his reaction, relieved he loved it.
He had planned a night out with his brother at a club nearby, named ’Love and Grind’. It sounds interesting, Lewis had said it’s focused on BDSM but collars and leashes are optional, and that it’s more Dungeon like- without the sex or nudity. I’m told it dimly lit and that the theme is dark reds, blacks, or greys in color, and that the music can be either slow and romantic or fast and in all types of genres. I’m imagining a modern vampire that likes any music type to have built the club for other vampires but the BDSM community has overtaken it. The idea is amusing to me. I’m curious about the type of place it is and if it’ll be any different than the other one we went to.
My boyfriend wants to test me tonight by taking me out to a public space that supports BDSM, testing my understanding of any public rules and how I handle being leashed in front of strangers. I think I’ll be fine if uncomfortable at first, if I point out that I dislike it or he notices that I don’t, Lewis will take it off. There’s a large possibility that there will be other Submissives with leashes, I won’t be alone or overwhelmingly embarrassed with others like me around. I do hope that no one will try to touch me or flirt with me, I don’t want another drunk man near me with that intent- one is too many already. That interaction also landed Lewis in a fight, short or not. Hopefully, there will be respectful people there, although it is a club filled with drunk men and women- there’s a low chance of that.
Seán is coming over around Ten, it’s twenty minutes until that. Lewis had me shower and change into a pair of new ripped skinny jeans with one of his huge hoodies, without a shirt under it. He checked if any chaffing had begun on the throat where my collar sits, there hasn’t because I do take it off to shower and sleep, also the inside of the collar is quite comfortable. It doesn’t pinch my skin or rub against it too much, the material hasn’t bothered me either. He was happy that I wasn’t being hurt, but warned that if it does start to irritate my skin that he will remove it for a few days to make sure my skin is still healthy.
I sit in the bedroom, laid back on the bed while listening to Lewis move around in the shower, texting CeCe. She’s upset that she can’t come with us, both because she has a date with Kat and Seán had explained he was mainly going to make sure no one bothered me if Lewis happened to leave my side. My friend wants to go back later in the week as a big group, her and Kat, me and Lewis with Seán. I told her I’d ask Lewis and I plan to, CeCe and I haven’t hung out a lot lately with both our lives getting changed quite a bit since we’re now dating people. I miss my friend, I see her at work but hanging out with her outside of the workplace is fun.
CeCe had just sent me a picture of a hairy man with a bear’s head photoshopped on him as some sort of joke when Lewis walks in naked, I take a sneaky picture of him- keeping it from his waist up. Below the waist is mine to see. It shows his hairy chest, armpits, and basically every part of his torso- it’s all hair. Sending it, I giggle, just picturing CeCe shouting that she didn’t need to see my dear daddy. It gains Lewis’s attention, the man having pulled on boxers. He plans on wearing a new pair of non-holey jeans, a gray tank top, and a red plaid button shirt, with his boots.
“What’s so funny over there, Bairn?”
I pause, will he be mad? I took a picture of him without his permission, he might be mad. When Lewis sees my hesitation, he pulls on his jean and comes to stand next to me, easily towering over me and holding his hand out. Slowly I hand my phone to him, just as it vibrates with a new message. My dominant reads over my conversation and I can tell when he finally focuses on the picture because he smirks, then laughs. He gives me my phone back, allowing me to see CeCe’s reply- a group of surprised, fire and devil emojis then ‘I DIDN”T NEED TO SEE MISTER WOLFMAN- but thanks!’ I laugh at it before remembering my hesitation.
“You’re not mad? That I took a picture of you naked?” I climb to my knees and shuffle to the end of the bed, closer to where he had walked back to change.
Lewis just shakes his head with a laugh, “Keep my cock from your conversation, and yer good.”
The club is nearly exactly like I pictured- vampire theme. The floor is dark black that reminds me of the void of space, curtains that look like blood pouring from the ceiling, tables, and cushions in booths are a dark grey, the furniture itself is black but the accessories are either grey or blood red. Any lighting is tinted to match, a light red that makes everyone look creepy. The edges of the large dance floor are filled with booths and on the far left wall is a huge bar that’s crowded, there’s a large number of people on the dance floor, going along to some fast pop song. I notice some booths are taken and find couples in them, just like the last club there are subs either kneeling on the floor or sitting in laps, I see some with leashes and feel a bit better about mine.
Lewis had clasped me on at the truck just like last time, held the handle of it, and let me walk close enough to be brushing against him to the doors. My leash rules in public are simple; I walk when he does, stop when he does and if he points next to his feet when he sits I stand next to him until he pulls me on his lap- the thought of kneeling on a floor in a club is nasty, especially with drunk people stumbling around. If he tugs the leash lightly I need to listen or move closer to him. He’s been holding it quite tightly, there’s no slack to it but it doesn’t hurt or annoy me, keeping me close and making sure I stay directly one step behind him. Seán is behind me, following us as Lewis searches for an empty booth which takes a few long minutes of people stumbling into my boyfriend and bouncing off him like bouncy balls. He acts as a shield for me, I haven’t been bumped into.
When we finally get to a booth Lewis tells Seán that we’re going to walk around, the Irishman nods, sliding into the booth without argument. My boyfriend checks on me, the loud music and scent of alcohol, drunk people all around me, aren’t bothering me to an overwhelming point. I do feel wary of the drunks and the scent makes my stomach twist, yet I don’t feel an attack coming. Lewis kisses me the news that I’m okay, then speaks into my ear, “We’re gonna go walk along the walls, get ya used ta the leash in public. Understand?”
I step closer to him when I feel someone get closer to my back, watching Lewis wrap his arm around me as his eyes glance over my head at the person. I nod, “Yes, Master. Avoiding the people, right?”
He laughs, “Aye, Bonnie. As much as able, we will. Now, come.”
I blush at the command and he winks at me, confirming the thought that he’s slowly bringing in pet commands to see if I like them. I lose track of how long we walk around the club floor, Lewis leading me by his leash and randomly pausing to test me, walking at a faster or slower pace, even using hand singles to teach me what each motion means. I enjoy it, I forget mostly where we are, my mind focused on him and my eyes on his hands. I don’t know where Lewis is leading me to, if anywhere. He suddenly stops and my feet stop as soon as I process that he did yet he doesn’t move within a minute or a few seconds and I a hear voice closer than Lewis had been allowing. I raise my eyes to see what’s happening, yet I’m not faced with Lewis. This is a new man, my height with bright hazel eyes and a shining grin and tan skin with a sparkling pink collar on his neck that has a hot pink leash connected- and he’s too close.
My mouth is abruptly dry and my eyes are wide, this is unexpected and I have no idea what to do. This man is with another man, this one a few inches taller that’s holding onto the leash. His dark skin is contrasted against the pink top he wears, his hair cut into what I recognize as a fade. His eyes are blue like the ocean and he’s speaking to Lewis, his voice is deep, not like Lewis’s due to the height difference but compared to me. “Best to keep them on a leash, huh? First time here? We saw you guys and my boy wanted to say hi.”
The man gestures to the man that had been steadily getting closer to me and I tug at Lewis’s shirt to get his attention off the sudden appearance of the other Dom. When my boyfriend notices the sub, he sticks his arm in front of me, successfully stopping the stranger from getting closer. The man pouts and his Dom frowns as if offended when Lewis uses his body to block me and I sigh as I clench his shirt and lean against his back. That was like a jumpscare in a horror movie- they just popped up out of nowhere and made my heartbeat spike into dangerous zones.
“He doesn’t do well with new people. Best not get closer.” Lewis’s tone is exactly friendly, the last sentence an outright demand to give me space. On edge from the unexpected interruption and the fact, this man ignored Lewis’s presence completely to get to me.
“But- I was just-” The submissive tries, Lewis interrupts.
“Gettiin into his space without permission from him or me. Not a polite t’hing ta do.”
The man whines and I hear a stomp just under the loud music, safely assuming he stomped his foot. HIs dominant finally speaks up, “The man’s right, Jake. That wasn’t right, apologize.”
Lewis lightly tugs my leash and I come out enough to look around his arm, seeing the sub pouting with his arms crossed, his Dom sighs before threatening punishment for not being polite to strangers. The man winces and wrinkles his nose, glancing up at Lewis and quickly looking away from what I Imagine is a harsh glare to me. He mumbles an apology, being close enough to hear seeing as he said it when the music is changing. I poke Lewis’s side twice, telling him I feel slightly overwhelmed and want out of the situation. He squeezes my hand in return,
“Thank ya, boy. Needta go now, my boy isn’t feelin well. Good meetin’ ya guys’.” Lewis states, reaching to shake the Doms hand.
“Hey man, I understand. It’s fine, go care for him. Stay safe, guys.”
We spend the rest of the night at the booth with Seán, Lewis keeping me on his lap and checking in with me. The Irishman simply shook his head when being told of our interaction, commenting that common sense is gone from the world. We drink water or soda and Lewis buys me a plate of fries when I say I’m hungry. It’s a fun night, I did well in my leash test and in the interaction we had and Lewis is proud of me.
Maybe if I get better at my anxiety I can actually have a small conversation with someone here. A new goal has been opened for me, and I’m nervous yet excited to see how it goes.