[Chapter Forty Two]
Scottish Translation -
Bonnie - Pretty/ Beautiful
Mo Peata - My Pet
mo chridhe - my heart
Bairn - Baby
Thinking back on how far we came, I’m proud of us. We fought against Miss Parry’s opinions and actions, the woman trying to steal Lewis and the rare man hitting on me, and managed to have a normal life for about four years before it went to hell and back. Surviving the situation with West brought us even closer I think, if we can get through that there shouldn’t be anything to break us apart. It did take us a while to work on our new routine, as the mutation Lewis went through changed not only his physical body but also mentally. The old schedules or routine wouldn’t work with that, he’s easier to go Primal- I’m positive he is now the definition of Primal Dominant- and a bit quicker to be aggressive, and needs certain things. He tried to explain after we had a quick scare while attempting to go back into our routine, six months after getting home safe. We agreed to the same schedule and routine, same rules and everything, and it went okay for the first few weeks; there was a slight hiccup here and there, but overall it went well.
Until I decided to be a full-on brat. It was stupid, but Lewis was allowing me to be playful and pretend to be the boss, seemed to find it amusing even. I stomped around and demanded things from him, outright refused simple commands, and did everything in my power to fully annoy him. I don’t think either of us realized what my actions were creating inside Lewis’s head, where there’s some parts or thinking, animal instincts, lurking about. Because once I pushed too hard, I knew it. He didn’t harm me, didn’t even lay a finger on me. It just happened and it scared both of us. I decided to continue to push at being a brat even after Lewis began to give warnings to stop, he’d scold me and tried to calmly yet firmly remind me he’s the boss because he didn’t trust himself to give out serious punishments, and didn’t know his new strength. I didn’t stop and only got to stomp my foot before Lewis growled lowly. It wasn’t a human growl, this was a full lion, full warning and the sound of it echoed even if it wasn’t particularly loud.
His eyes had grown darker and his muscles were tense, body locked tight for the few seconds it lasted then he had looked as startled as me. We ended up cuddling in bed while we both calmed down and let his mind work, it was a long time before he tried to explain what happened. Saying that not acknowledging his warnings must’ve triggered something in his instincts and his body reacted without permission, he apologized and looked concerned I’d leave him over one little step. It broke my heart. I understood it’d be a change, a learning curve and I agreed with sticking to his side. I willingly put myself in his arms; because I trust him and know he’ll need me so much more than before. There were mistakes, scares that kept Lewis away from me because he was ashamed and ‘dangerous’, but we also made a bunch of funny and happy memories in the time it took to understand how the lion part worked. We’ve spent time learning his strength and he had reluctantly allowed me to innocently explore his lion form - petting the tail or ears, playing with the mane.
It did take a long time to get accustomed to seeing that form, it was such a shock and, admittedly, scary. Lewis is truly gigantic when he shifts, standing straight has his head and shoulders curving uncomfortably inward to avoid the ceiling- he can’t fit through any of the house doors. Normally, Lewis is close to seven feet, the exact number I’m unsure of because I don’t know what comes before that measurement, but I’m aware he is an inch or two shorter than Seán. The Irishman is exactly seven feet. The lion form itself reminds me of Lycans; creatures that walk on two feet and are normally wolves in drawings - like werewolves. It’s a dark tan in color, the fur soft but thin with a long tail that has a cute fluff of fur at the end and adorable ears on his head that peeks out of the black mane that circles around his head and throat. His chest is massive, as well as his long arms and thick legs. I found it cute that when I was allowed to curl up on his chest, my body fitting perfectly like a tiny baby, I discovered that he has nipples on his pillow pectoral muscles. I have no idea why I thought he wouldn’t have them, maybe because he changes into a lion, but I made a big deal out of it.
I trim his claws once every month, he has me do it to make sure he doesn’t accidentally hurt me during our small sessions of bonding while he’s shifted. I enjoy it because it’s a good way to bond with the lion part of Lewis. It shows I can be trusted cutting off his defense weapon, I won’t hurt him and will follow his lead on what to do. When Lewis shifts I know I need to be on my best behavior, the lion in him won’t let me- essentially his Mate- disobey or act up. I’m allowed to be playful and climb all over him, mess with him innocently, but if he nudges me or makes some noise to warn me to calm down and I don’t, I’m quickly pinned to the floor and growled at. It isn’t threatening, merely a low warning that I pushed too far and won’t be allowed free movement, laying on top of me carefully or trapping me on his chest. It could be a more dangerous outcome and I’m glad the animalistic part of Lewis understands my role in the relationship, I’m basically a cub or a mate to that side and treated gently.
One important thing I needed to be reminded of and made into a serious rule, is not running from Lewis when he’s shifted into the huge lycan. I like running away from Lewis after being bad or a brat and I can do it when he’s human, it’ll be the same reaction as before the mutation; chasing after me and showing me what happens when I run from him. Now it’s simply more animalistic and slightly aggressive, the newer instincts pushing his primal wants far more than before. However, in the lion form, those instincts are forefront and much easier to trigger. If I run from him while he’s shifted, I won’t make it five feet until he has his massive hands on me and holding me down. He’ll place the long sharp teeth at my shoulder and roar, pure instinct aiming to force submission or show dominance enough to keep me from running. Once was enough for me to understand the meaning, especially when Lewis had begun to unwillingly rut against my body. His own body forcing him into action to attempt to fuck me, to show I’m his and I can’t run.
Lewis needed to painfully fight against that and force himself to return human, and he apologized hundreds of times for something he had no control over. He didn’t know he would react that way, still growing used to it. He wouldn’t punish me for running, wouldn’t lay a hand on me out of fear of something triggering anything primal. It was no one’s fault, we didn’t understand what would be a trigger. I shouldn’t have run from him, but at the same time, I’m glad I did. While it was scary it was also a lesson, we know what I can’t or can do when he’s shifted and we’ve grown much closer because of it after sitting down and talking through the moment; what led to it, why it happened, how we each felt about it. It helped and shows Lewis was able to stop himself. It could’ve been horrible and traumatic but Lewis made sure he was able to stop before it went beyond simply rutting on my clothed body. So, no running from him in Lion form. Running from Human Lewis is fine, especially when I can’t walk for the rest of the day and have beautiful bites or bruises.
It also helps greatly that we have sessions for me to bond with him in that form. It lets Lewis shift and satisfies any territorial urges he has while allowing me to get used to seeing him like that and learn how to act with the animal part. I’ve noticed that during these sessions I change, Lewis is mostly primal when he shifts and runs on instinct or urges and manages pretty well in dominating me to where I feel safe and cared for. Then there’s me and this took nearly a year to realize, even then Lewis is the one who pointed it out; my mind goes somewhere else and I act like a cat with Lewis in his lion form. I’ll rub against him, mess with his tail, respond well to any licks he gives me and will lick whatever patch of fur I can reach. Lewis swears I purr and suggested we look more into petplay to see if this is something similar or if my mind and body are simply trying to evolve to help me better fit my surroundings. I had spent hours a day with Lewis shifted and maybe my body felt I needed to change to better survive.
Lewis asked if I went into a Headspace, mentioning I appear like I’m in Sub space. Thinking about it I realized I probably was, I’m not floating high in clouds but rather my mind is shut off on human things and focus on what Lewis does and what feels right. If he puffs or hums at me, it feels correct to do it to him because I know he’s happy. If he starts growling or giving a warning, I back off and huff my displeasure. I don’t think about anything besides Lewis and what feels good, what urges I have. We agreed it was either primal prey acting or that I use pet headspace as comfort and a way to better understand Lewis. It doesn’t really matter, whatever it equals to is amazing and I love it. It’s unbelievable that this is my life, never had I dreamed of having such a wonderful life. Lewis is such a supporting boyfriend in every way, he takes on so much for me and I love him, all parts of him.
Our friends come to visit when they can, CeCe bringing Kat and Ryan bringing his new boyfriends whenever he gets a new one. Miss Parry still apologizes for firing me, regretting that she didn’t have a choice. I never showed up and she had limited workers, everything had been too much for me to go and Miss Parry had no one to cover for me besides herself. I was expecting to get fired and thanked her for it. When we came back from the caves, Miss Parry supported us and helped with anything we needed, assisted us with moving, and offered me another job. I work as her bakery assistant and I love it. CeCe came over for her own surprise house party, dragging her girlfriend and Ryan behind her. She teased Seán when she met Axel and Zyon, saying he just couldn’t pick and had to be greedy. Ryan had attempted to flirt with Zyon, having not realized the man was taken and the high pitch yelp he made when both of Zyons dominants appeared was hilarious. They come over when they have breaks and we speak over the phone. The only friends I see on a nearly daily basis are Zyon, Axel, and Seán.
A deep rumble startles me from my thoughts, quickly turning towards the sliding doors. I grin, getting off the couch with a blanket wrapped around me to go meet Lewis. Standing at the door he needs to crouch to be able to be eye level with me, he seems creepy, especially with the outside light shining down on him. All humongous muscle and mass, sharp teeth, the mane that blends into the dark night sky. His eyes watch me, the light giving them an otherworldly glow. Once I open the door, I don’t hesitate to let myself fall into his arms that rest on his knees as he squats. He puffs as he develops me into his chest and provides the warmth I was searching for, my body is tiny compared to him and I know I get lost in his hold. It allows me to pet his fur and nuzzle into his mane, before I feel him start to change, the displacement of his bones and features is felt as they realign themselves and his body slowly shrinks down to his usual height. I hold on, because I know it’s painful and I want to give some comfort, and even while it’s unpleasant to feel or watch I hold on. He kisses my head once it’s over, resting for a minute or two to let his body settle.
“How was it tonight?” My voice is muffled by his throat, but with his evolved hearing, I know he understood.
He squeezes me gently, placing a kiss just above my second favorite purple collar. Voice deeper and husker, coming out like a rumble. “Was good, quiet. No predators on ta property.”
Smiling, I tease, “I’m safe then? You scared everyone off?”
He smirks against my skin, his beard scratching lightly. I gasp as he reaches down and grabs my butt, supporting me from that hold as he stands, taking my feet off the solid ground. “Aye, yer always safe, I’ll make sure of it. Still cold?”
I only need to nod, my dominant already stepping inside and locking the sliding door before going towards the stairs. I’m carried all the way to our bedroom where Lewis places me on my feet, kneading my butt playfully. “Gon on n’ lay down, take yer collar off for me. I needta grab yer present.”
I perk up immediately, pausing climbing on the bed to look over my shoulder at him. “Present?”
The Scotsman smirks, going to the dresser to grab two boxes from behind the mirror, one a thin black square and the other a thick tiny square. He sets them on the nightstand, his side, and raises his eyebrow. “Well? Get goin, Bonnie.”
Pouting, I follow through with his instructions. Laying down under the blankets and carefully unclasping my collar, handing it to Lewis to place in the gray cotton storage dresser at the end of the bed, where all our toys or supplies are. Lewis lays next to me naked, pulling me on his lap as he rests sitting against the headboard. He keeps me covered in the blankets, his arms around me as I snuggle into his jaw, content. I watch as he grabs the boxes, placing them in my lap. I wait for permission to open them, staring at Lewis with eager eyes and earning a soft kiss for it. “Open them, Mo Peata .”
Instantly, I picked up the smaller one. It’s light and the texture of the fabric is soft, velvety. I lift the top and it pops open after a light push, revealing a beautiful silver ring with little green stones on it. Gasping, I bring it closer to my eyes to study it, noticing some marks inside from the light shifting and carefully taking it out of the holding. I Need to squint but I can clearly see ‘My Heart’ engraved in it. All at once it hits me what this is and I look back to Lewis, my boyfriend is calmly watching me, not seeming nervous or scared, merely being patient. He smiles at me, arms pulling me impossibly closer, and asking a question that is never said steadily or as calmly.
“Wanna marry me, mo chridhe?”
It’s simple, blunt and to the point, it’s all Lewis and I love it. I don’t fully process what this means before I nod excitedly, attacking him with a deep kiss. “Of course! Yes!”
He laughs, returning any little kisses I give him between looking at the ring. He takes it from me and shushes my whine, sliding it on my finger and kissing my hand. I just admire it on me, holding my hand out for us to see it. “It’s really beautiful, thank you. I love the green, it reminds me of our first collar. The one for the club.”
Lewis kisses my cheek, “was supposed ta. Ya look real pretty with it, Bairn. But ya got another one ta open.”
Happily, I lift the top of the larger thin square box, feeling my eyes water and another light gasp leave as I see the gorgeous sleek black eternity collar that has a cute little lock hanging from it. The tool to lock the metal collar is sitting neatly in the middle of the opened collar. Taking it out, it’s light and smooth, the metal chilly. I absolutely adore this, both the ring and collar because when we get married, I’ll already be halfway there with the collar. It’s like getting married in the community to have one, as far as I’m aware. I kiss Lewis again for the lack of ability to form words, clutching at him and wiping any stray tears on his skin.
He squeezes me and lets me calm down then pushes me back to look at me, “Like it?”
“It’s so pretty! I love it! Can I wear it now? Or is it safe to sleep in?” Lewis smiles at my eagerness, holding his hand out for me to put the collar in his palm.
He helps turn me around, back facing him and I feel the metal slide around my throat, shivering at the chill. It shifts as he locks it in place on me, Lewis adjusting it to lay perfectly center. I’m amazed that it fits snugly yet comfortably, Lewis must’ve somehow measured my size. I turn around to kiss him again when I notice a new accessory on his chest, a black chain necklace that stops in the middle of his chest, it has a silver ring on it and the key that unlocks my collar hanging on it. It makes me even happier and I tackle him in the bed, hearing him laugh.
“Thank you! I love you so much!” Lewis rubs my back and calmly shushes my shouting, his chest rumbling with a constant content and happy sound similar to a purr yet not.
“Love ya too, Tommy Boy. Never lettin ya go, yer mine forever.”
I nod, yet pause and pull back to look down at him, having knocked him from his sitting position. Giggling, I kiss his cheek. “Does being your fiance get me out of cage and paddle punishments for the next week?”
Lewis raises his eyebrow, a sexy low growl coming with the answer. “No. Test yer luck though, dare ya.”
Humming, I cuddle under his chin, feeling his hand come to play with my collar. “I might. We’ll see if you end up being a good Master tomorrow."
Lewis growls teasingly and starts tickling my sides, punishing my tease with laughing torture. I can’t wait to annoy him to death for the rest of our lives - and get the funishments of course.